Chapter 4 - The Angel Cries 

  It was the weekend and there was nothing to do except for one thing. Jiyong was going to visit Seunghyun at the graveyard. It’s been a month since he actually been there. He hated going there because memories would flash before him, and he would cry. Crying was the worse thing he could imagine.

  He told his parents where he was going and headed out the door. Jiyong walked all the way to the graveyard for it wasn’t that far. As he came near the area where Seunghyun was buried, there was a figure standing above the tombstone.

  Jiyong managed a slight smile as he recognized the figure. Dara. Slowly, he strode towards her and greeted. “Hey.”

  Dara jumped as she was deep in thought. She was thinking off all the things they have done together before the day of his death. She even recalled the day of his death and regretted everything. In her mind, she felt as if it was her fault he died. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t.

  “I didn’t know you would come today.” Jiyong said.

  She dropped her head. “I always come on Saturdays.”

  “Oh.” Maybe he should do that also, but sometimes he would be busy. He looked down at the grave and bit his lip.

  “I miss him.” Dara whispered.

  “I do, too.” Jiyong could feel a tear ready to form. He couldn’t stand not being with his best friend. It felt weird not to be with him, but slowly that awkwardness was going away. He knew there has to be a time to move on and live life without him. Staying in the past would just cause him to live a depressing life. He needed Dara to understand that.

  “I wonder what it would be like if he was still here.”

  Upon hearing Dara’s words, he couldn’t hold him emotions. Jiyong continued to chew his bottom lip, but it didn’t help. His tears began to fall down his cheek and small sobs escaped his mouth. He wanted him back, but you can’t change what happened in the past.

  Dara heard his sobs and looked at him fully for the first time. Her eyes widened as she saw the happiest guy she knew cry right before her. Even someone like him could cry like a baby. It was the same situation for her when she leaned Seunghyun had died. She never would have thought of crying after her own parents’ death.

  Dara didn’t know what to do, but stare at him. She didn’t know how to comfort someone especially a guy. All she knew was to be there for him. Words just didn’t feel right for her, but actions.

  Hesitantly, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and then she wrapped the other one. She pulled him closer to her and patted his back. It felt strange for a girl to comfort a guy. Dara had learned that guys were usually the ones to comfort the girl. She had never experienced seeing a guy cry like this before.

  Jiyong buried his head onto her shoulder and cried his eyes out. He wanted to stop, but the tears continued and the sobs would halt. Trying to hold his breath caused things to get worse. Adding to that, but the previous memories came back to him. He remembered the time when they made their first song together and preformed it during the talent show. Jiyong remembered the first time they told each other’s secrets, meaning the start of a true friendship. He even remembered the first day when they joined the group.

_____________

  “Welcome to Big Bang, Jiyong, Seunghyun.” Seungri announced with arms spread wide.

  Jiyong bowed while Seunghyun stood still. He felt uncomfortable here.

  Seungri gave him a look but soon smiled. “Now let me introduce myself and to the rest of the members.” He pointed to himself. “I’m Seungri.” Then he pointed to the guys next to him, “And these two are Taeyang and Daesung.”

  They gave the newcomers a smirk.

  Jiyong bowed while Seunghyun remained still.

  Seungri gave off an annoyed expression, but shook it off. He smiled at Jiyong and wrapped an arm around him. “Now let’s start with our initiation.” Dragging Jiyong deeper into the room and Seunghyun following behind, they stopped in front of a mirror.

  “For the initiation you’ll have to have a marking,” Seungri continued as he started towards the door. “I’ll be back. I’ll have Taeyang and Daesung keep you company.” With those words, he stepped out.

  Taeyang and Daesung stood there, exchanging glances from Jiyong to Seunghyun.

  “What are you doing here?” Taeyang asked curiously. “You don’t seem the type to be doing these kind of things.”

  “What makes you think that?” Daesung asked back to his partner.

  “I have a feeling.”

  Seunghyun remained quiet, ignoring their comments.

  They sneered and changed the conversation to Jiyong.

  “Now why do you want to join?” Taeyang questioned.

  Jiyong shrugged. “I want to. School’s boring, so I need something to interest me.”

  Daesung smirked. “Well you’re in deep . This isn’t anything like in movies, but their not as simple as you think. There’s more to it than having wars with other gangs. It’s almost like a family, but it’ll be hard to trust others once you start realizing how corrupted the world is.”

  “I already know,” Jiyong stated.

  Before they could say more, Seungri entered hands behind his back. A wry smile was plastered on his face. “Now for the initiation. I want you to look in the mirror and if you show any sign of pain, you are not part of our group. Many have failed, so you should be proud if you get in.”

  Jiyong faced the mirror in suspense as he waited what Seungri would do. Suddenly, he felt a burning sensation on his back. He bit his lip and closed his eyes. There’s no way he would back down now. He didn’t come here just to get kicked out. But what about Seunghyun? What if he fails? What will Jiyong do without him?

  “Good,” Seungri’s voice came. “Now for your… Friend.”

  Jiyong turned around and stared at his back. They had lifted his shirt and burned his skin with a coin. It was a mark that he was officially in the group and there was no turning back.

  Seunghyun passed the test without flinching whatsoever. It was as if the coin wasn’t heated.

  Seungri had an annoyed expression when he found out Seunghyun passed. He didn’t like the idea of Seunghyun being in the group, but he thought about it. He knew if Seunghyun didn’t get in, then Jiyong would quit. They were a package. Turning to Jiyong, he announced with a smile, “Welcome to Big Bang! All that’s left are your names. Of course we won’t be using our real names. My name’s not actually Seungri. I’ll tell you guys later when I can trust you. Let’s see…” He rubbed his chin, thinking of names. “Ah! You’re going to be called G-Dragon!” He told Jiyong. “And you are… TOP!”

  “TOP?” Jiyong tilted his head. It was a weird name for his friend. How does TOP correspond to Seunghyun? He didn’t question and neither did Seunghyun. They went with it.

  Seungri grinned. “Since everything is done, let’s see what we can do.”

_____

  Thinking back at that memory caused Jiyong to cry. He didn’t know why but he felt if he didn’t join that group, Seunghyun would still be here today, but he died of a car crash, not of a gun shot, fight, or any of the liking. It was a car crash.

  Dara was still holding onto Jiyong as he sobbed into her arms. She truly felt awkward and wanted to get away but his grip on her was tight. Annoyance would have taken over, but not this time. Just for now she’ll be nice to him.

  Jiyong let her go after realizing he had cried in front of her. Adding to that, she was comforting him. It was strange for knowing one of the coldest person in the school was comforting him like this. Wait, why should he be surprised? He knew Dara wasn’t a bad person. She was just lost.

  Jiyong wiped his tears and looked straight into Dara’s eyes. “Do you want to eat with me?” He sniffled, feeling his nose starting to run.

  She nodded.

  He smiled weakly and took her hand.

  At his touch, she jerked away and walked. “Where are we eating?”

  Jiyong frowned, but replied, “Anywhere. I’ll eat anything.”

  Dara didn’t even look at him when she said, “Alright. I’m fine with that.”

  They walked out of the graveyard and into the city. There, Jiyong was looking for a place to eat. A couple of times he would catch a glimpse of Dara, but she wouldn’t look at him.

  Finally, he spotted a nice restaurant they could go to. However, when he turned to her, he noticed her eyes were staring at a café. Ah such a typical setting. Of course girls would want to go there. Without a word, he walked towards the café, Dara trailing behind. “I guess we’ll just get a simple snack.” He grinned.

  Dara’s eyes dropped. She managed a smile without him seeing.

  They went inside and were seated in a booth, facing each other.

  “What are you thinking of getting?” He asked.

  Dara didn’t answer but skimmed the menu. There were so many things she could try, but she was craving for something sweet. Maybe she could get hot chocolate and some chocolate cake.

  Jiyong shrugged and looked at the menu. I’ll probably get a vanilla latte and a blueberry muffin. When he had decided what he wanted, he turned to Dara

  Her head was down, purposefully not looking at him. She didn’t want to meet his gaze. In fact, she wanted to avoid them as much as possible. There was a strange feeling she gets when she meets his eyes. It was feeling she didn’t get from anyone, not even Seunghyun. She didn’t know this feeling, but she hated it. One minute, she hates him; the next, she wants him near. One minute, she doesn’t have words; the next, she has many. What was wrong with her?

  “Can I take your order?” The waitress asked.

  “Oh, yes!” Jiyong said and stated his order.

  The waitress wrote it down. “And you, Miss?”

  Dara told her order.

  The waitress restated the order and waited for them to tell her whether she was missing something or not. When she heard their consent, she bowed and walked away.

  Jiyong chuckled. “Hot chocolate and chocolate cake? You might as well get some fudge while you’re at it!” He teased.

  Dara sneered. “That’s what I want. Do you have a problem with that?” There was a tone of threat in her voice.

  He shivered. “N-no…”

  She glared and rolled her eyes.

  Jiyong sighed. There certainly is something wrong with this girl. Is she emotionally insane or what? Or am I insane? I’m going after a girl that will probably never fall in love with me! I’m going after a girl who was in love with my best friend! What makes me think I can be with her? With that thought in mind, he looked at Dara.

  Her eyes were distant as she looked out the window. She really missed Seunghyun, but there has to be a point when she would let him go. She just doesn’t know when. Her heart wasn’t ready to let him go and nor was the rest of her body. The tragedy that occurred last year was too much for her. She wanted Seunghyun back.

  After the long moments of silence, their order came and they ate.

  Jiyong took a sip of his latte. “Ah! It tastes so good!”

  Dara did the same with her drink and was satisfied.

  “Can I try yours?” He reached for her drink.

  She pulled back. “No!”

  He chuckled. “I’m just kidding. Hey! At least I got an emotion from you other than annoyance!”

  Dara rolled her eyes. This boy was crazy.

  “Now let’s see what other emotions I can get from you.” He stared at her, wiggling his eyebrows. “I look handsome don’t I?” He made a checkmark with his fingers and placed it under his chin. He winked.

  She continued to roll her eyes. “You’re annoying.”

  “I know I am.”

  Dara smirked. “I’m surprised no one killed you yet.”

  With those words, he froze. Killed. Was Seunghyun killed on purpose? He shook it off and pouted. “You’re evil.”

  “You’re annoying.”

  “Didn’t we already gone over that?”

  “I’m just emphasizing it.”

  Jiyong laughed. If only more days were like this. He wanted to laugh and tease with Dara, but he knew it would require more effort. He has to find a way on how to break her shell. There has to be a way. There always is.