Chapter 8 – a rather whimsical encounter

(Myungsoo)

It was a paucity of a stare that grew out of proportions. Like the tepid water of the hot summer days that I desisted with obvious resentment. And I’m not saying this because long moments of stares accompanied with pitch black silence are uncomfortable beyond what I can take – but instead because I couldn’t handle the complexity of the feelings that were bluntly aroused in the air and my urge oppress the transparent beat of my heart.

Strange as it was, it was like we had both come to an understanding before words could leave our lips.

And I wondered if my wide eyes gave all my secrets away

“What do you want?!” I say a bit harsher then I actually intended. And now that I’ve started I can’t stop “You’re not a stalker are you?!”

“A stalker?” Suzy repeats. Her voice is rather sad as she looked down with a glaze of despondency. “Is that what you think I am?”

“Such an eyesore” I muttered. It was the only thing I could think of saying.

“I didn’t know I could be so bothersome. I just … I just – “Suzy stumbles upon her words in a tone I’ve never seen her talk in before. “I just wanted to give your music player, you seemed to have dropped it….”

My face flushes with embarrassment but somehow I manage to hide it under a cover of a cold complexion. I could have sworn that I was just listening to my I-pod. My eyes trace the cord of my headphones and see the dangling plug in the air – oh. It must have fell off when I had crashed into that young couple moments before….

“Here” Gaze lowered, Suzy pushes my i-pod into my hands and quickly rushes the other way. I catch a look of her jaded eyes dotted with beads of tears before she turns away and regret immediately hits me with the ineffable impact of a train wreck.

And at that moment, it was the perfect time to just turn around and leave – to forget about her and her silly sensitivity. After all, Kim Myungsoo didn’t feel sorry for people, he didn’t let regrets control him…. Did he? Did I?

But for some reason, at that very moment, my emotions must have been really fragile or something bizarre or out of the norm like that, that must have weakened my heart into actually feeling concern (bleh), because I couldn’t get myself to just walk away. It wasn’t that regret had consumed me (nor would I admit to that). Or anything in the nature of a change of heart. It was something else.

So since I couldn’t just walk away, I did something stupid: very stu