Chapter 7 – Esoteric Rebound

The sun had a defocused glow and in the golden light that radiated a speckle of make-believe stars, I could almost see eyes. The somber gaze of those eyes of midnight haunted my mind like an evanescent flicker {back & forth}. I can imagine myself back by the river side with the boy’s soft guitar strums rocking my heart to a lovely slumber, like an afternoon serenade.

 My thoughts were now of a cellophane matter. Delicate and wandering.

I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. It was like hymn of an awakening and suddenly, my mind began functioning like an old fashioned piece of clockwork washed of its rust. If this was what being in love felt like, spellbound in a dizzy daydream, well – simply how horrid! Horridly enchanting.

  I remembered where I was: 장미Gardens Park. I must have fallen to sleep hours ago, sitting on this park bench humming nursery rhymes to myself. The once bustling crowds of on-goers had diminished to a dwelling couple of elderly folks reciting daily exercises and it was silent with only the idyllic songs of the birds aiding as distant music.

I felt another tap, a touch more impatient this time, and I turned back curiously. Round doe eyes stare back at me unwearyingly and after a few blinks I saw it was Ji Eun.

“Hello Suzy” Ji Eun greets as she slowly takes a seat next to me. “How are you today?”

I notice her customary good spirits missing. Her voice is austere, almost if shades of black and white have overtaking her emotions.

“I’m…..” delusional, insecure, anything-but-alright-because-this-boy-that-i-happened-to-fall-in-love-with-won’t-get-out-of-my-head. I begin “…Great! And you?” 

“I’m great too, you know like always!” she replies. Her voice is shaking with forced equanimity, almost on the brim of collapse.

We sit there in unaccompanied stillness – both silently acknowledging each other’s lies because the truth is all too clear.

“I made peach tarts” Ji Eun finally breaks the silence. She lifts a hand-woven basket into the air. The basket has a pastel green handkerchief tied as a bow by the handle and smells like delicate pastries.  “But they fell into the field because, because…. I was too clumsy. And now they are all dirty”

Ji Eun lifts a peach tart out sadly with sigh “What a pity. I was hoping that I could give them to you”

I lift the basket’s cover and peer in, and then I look back up with a subtle smile “They still look pretty though. And they smell nice too. Just as if they came right out of a bakery”

“Really?”

“Yes. What a pity. I really wish I could’ve tried them”

We both break out in soft giggles.

“Next time you should come over and make them with me!” Ji Eun smiles

“Ah, but wouldn’t I be too much of a nuisance? … and wouldn’t your parents mind? And – ” I stop and look away as I think back.

“Hello Jiyeon! I heard you invited all the girls over for class slumber party. Um, but I think you must have forgotten to give me an invitation, by any chance, because I never received one….”

“Yah! Bae SuJi. Do you really think we are friends?!”  Jiyeon scoffs

“Yes! We are aren’t we?! I helped you carry your bag to class on Tuesday and we sometimes hang out at the playground…..” I whisper, my voice trailing off nervously.

“This girl, really?!” Jiyeon mutters, batting her eyelashes in irritation as she looks over to Sulli and Hara. They both roll their eyes. “Why would I be friends with an annoying and boring girl like you?”

“Why would I be friends with an annoying and boring girl like you?” Those words have stuck with me ever since.

“Yah! Bae Suji! We are friends aren’t we? Of course you wouldn’t be a nuisance!” And why would my parents mind? They have always wished for me to bring a friend over!”  Ji Eun beams with a wide sm