HOSTAGE: HyunJoong Syndrome

"Please, Take me back..."

He had prepared meticulously for everything.  From the most critical apparatus to the most inconsequencial materials. Everything was complete, everything was in order and everything was bacteria free.

Everything seemed so real; from the white walls to the sparkling tiles; From the the state-of-the-art equipements to the professional looking personels around her.

One could easily get carried away, deceived by the perfect imitation of reality.

She knew that she must not be fooled. She knew that she had fight with all her will not to be carried away.

But as she fights with all her might, she was slowly cracking, slowly and subconciously accepting the situation.

And that was her ultimate mistake.

The reality of it all was that behind the sparkling tiles, she doesn't know where she is. From the familiar white informed personel, she doesn't know anyone. From the clock chimming for 12, she doesn't know what date it was.

She was around a couple of people but she was also alone.

It would have been a laughable situation had it been a drama story but then it wasn't because it was her reality.

She knew all those facts. She understood that she was among strangers, she knew that she was at a place out of no where.

She was alone...

But lately all those terrifying unfamiliarity,  scary uncertainty, nagging doubts and chilling fear were starting to be FAMILIAR.

The illusion was really starting to feel like her reality. She was slowly being tricked. She started to accept that it was her world, her only world. Sometimes, having faith in an illusion was easier than believing a far of reality.

The farce was slowly embedding itself to her -- to her world and to her present. 

Because sometime believing in a mirage feels more safe than knowing nothing. Being tricked was easier than being in fear.

Even in her sane moments,  reality and fantasy was so hard to differentiate. Thoughts of reality in that illusion was terrifying. The normality of her fantasy felt oddly torrid..

It was scary.. no , it was crazily terrifying..

She shook her head, erasing all other thoughts, at that moment she needed her frightened heart, bullied soul and gullible mind to be calm. She neeeded her head to be fucosed on nothing else except the task at hand.

She closed her head and concentrated all her senses to the surroundings. She reminded herself that even if the day, the place and the people were unfamiliar she still has something to cling on.

She can't trust anyone and everyone. All were unfamiliar to her but one this is true HER..-- her ears, her eyes, her nose and her sense of touch.

That was her reality, HER!

The sounds continued to lullaby her to her calm zone. She listened attentively to the sound that she could trust. She trusted her ears to listen to the familiar rhythms around. Until it harmonously palpated with her beating heart and pulsated with her breathing.

SHE was in control...

She opened her eyes and nodded to the person on her right. Clearing her mind she started counting under her breath from 1 to 30, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,9 ...." all the while watching for any sign of movement.

At her 25th count she saw his hand twitch.

She called his name, "Hyun Joong..."

She waited in baited breath for him to respond but none came. She called him again, "HyunJoong, it's time you wake up..."

Then he roared,"!!!, Son of a !!!". His voice echoed in the room.

She jumped back, frightened by his fury. He struggle in his prone position on the table. The muscles in his arms were flexing tightly as he struggled to be free. But he laid constrained with the straps on his hands, feet and whole body.

He continued to struggle yet remained immobile. He shouted yet again, "Where the ing hell am I..!!"

The man on the other side of the table came and shouted in response, "Boss, it's okay..." as the others held him on his legs and body, making sure he was immobile on the table. That was essential, he needed to remain immobile.

He continued to shout, "Kyujong, you er, what the ing  hell!"   

Over her shock and fright, she immediately stepped forward, shouting over the ruckus, "HyunJoong calm down.."

She needed to calm him down. It was her duty, it was her job and it was her responsibility, "Please remember..."

He continued to shout but now struggle less as he said in a cold voice, "ing hell..."

She asserted herself more, "Please calm down, please don't move. please remember what we are doing.. please" She needed him immobile because his life depended on it.

Finally he stopped struggling and called her name, "... Somin?"

She answered with relief, "de..."

"Wuri Minmin..?" he repeated his question

She hated it when he called her that, 'my min min'. 'what right did he have to call me with such familiarity. My name is Somin, so why call me Wuri. He didn't know me and I don't know him so why call me that infront of his men'.

... and I wasn't his

Even in her hate, she knew that she could not antagonize him infront of his men. even in her fear she knew that she had no power among them. Even with her present task she knew she had nothing.

She took a deep breath to calm her raging mind and answered in a surprisingly even tone, "Yes! Now do you remember what is happening?"  

She took another closer step to the table and she heard him say, "Oi oi oi, you are angry..." it was a statement not a question. It was the same mocking tone he uses when he was playing with her. Like he did when he first got her..

"you there.. " he called in his most arrogant voice. He sat languidly at the head of the table. Served and laid in front of him was the grandest assortment of food, food fit for a king.

She looked at him in fear. She knew he was talking about her. She walked slowly and very carefully toward him, afraid of offending him. She listened to him say, "serve me..."

Like a robot with no brain she followed, she reached for the expensive caviar and place it near him. She reached for the next course mean and served him again.

He ate silently, as she served the main course. Accidentally food she served dripped to his perfectly tailored suit..

She froze, she made a mistake. she knew her end was near.

He reached out his hand and she automatically leaped back shivering. she knew that he could hurt her easily and she also knew that she was at his mercy.

His face was devoid of emotion. He followed her as she backed away from him. She halted when her back touched the wall. Shivering from fear, she closed her eyes waiting for the strike that could easily kill her.

A hand touched her face softly. gently patting her cheeks his face just inches from hers as he mockingky said, "..Wuri MinMin, are you scared?".

She shook her head breaking off the flow of unpleasant memory. She decided to ignore his mocking. She kept silent. She heard him add, "Fine if you don't want to answer. But are you starting now?"

She nodded, feeling her body convulsing with fear. Her hands were uncontrollable and trekking down her forehead were cold sweat. She was about to start and she was terrified.

He asked again, "Minmin are you starting?" now more firmly.

Finally realizing that her nod/answer wasn't seen she said, "yes we are". She closed her eyes and placed all her mind on her perfect procedure. she needed to calm down and concentrate. it was the only way she would survive.

Opening her eyes, she stared intently at the monitor and saw it. there it was, his tumor, staring at her like a big scary lion. that was one of her enemies and obstacle, his tumor -- the lion. 

She had studied every test results given to her by Hyunjoong. She had crammed all information of the said tumor in her head for the past 2 weeks.

She had studied the tumor like a diligent valedictorian. She knew everything about it-- its size, its grasp and its composition. She had spent almost her last two weeks studying the tumor. she was breathing the tumor every single waking hour and she was living the tumor every second of the day.

She stared at the monitor, it showed the tumor as she had seen it in the MRI and CAT scan results. With its 2cm diameter and how intricately it lodged itself to his left occipital lobe. It was it was arrogant, fatal scary and big. It was her enemy.

Staring at\ it, it seemed to tell her, 'Take me if you can. But remember that I still hold dearly the life of Hyunjoong. So one wrong move and its all over.'

Mocking her with the same arrogant tone like Hyunjoong, the tumor challenged her, 'Wuri MinMin have the confidence to take me..?'

Lifting her hands to the surgery apparatus, she let her sense of touch and feel the coldness of the handles. she allowed herself to feel the familiar way her hand contoured to it. She took a deep breath and the familiar smell of sterile clean room assailed her nose.

She smiled, this was it, this is what is familiar to her. This was where she belong, in a clean room, and in surgery. Even if the tumor was big and challenging, she shouldnt care because in Awake cranioomy she had been trained by the best. even if the patient was an arrogant, filthy and eveil bastard, it didnt matter cause this was her home.

The procedure was her perfection, her task, her goal and her Purpose in life.

She cleared , to signal everyone that she was going to start and she heard him ask, "so what will it be today Min?"

With her eyes on the monitor, her hands on the handles she started dissecting the tumor while she asked, "What do you remember about your 7th birthday?"

"I saw how thick blood can be when it flows out of the body" he said.

She was shocked, 'how could anyone know that at such a young age?', thinking but scared at asking. She knew that she needed to ask more. It was part of the test. it was part of the protocol to make him talk.

 "What do you mean?" she asked, it was the only way to see if what she was doing was successful 

she watched closely as the micro-scalpel on the screen as it inched closer to the tumor until touch down, as she heard him tell his tale, "My father brought me to work."

Slowly and with perfect precision she started chipping the tumor 1mm at a time. He continued to say, "...He said it was better that I was introduce to the family legacy."

then he stuttered, "hhhhe ww--was torttt---uring someone, and I was tooo www---waaatch for my lleee--essons..." as she dug deeper to the tumor. Her heart was raising from the task and from his story.

His stuttering told her that she could very well leave him invalid by destroying neurons. she halted knowing that she was going too deep, his gray matter can be damaged, 'he can't be stuttering.'

she withdraw a little as he clearly added, "the guy begged me to save him..." she cut then tumor.

A chill ran up her spine and shrugged it off.

She heard him ask, "what about wuri Minmin?", his usual arrogant tone dripping after each word. he continued, "What was your 7th birthday like..?"

She dug in again as she answered, "It was my first day in highschool. I was ecstatic at first but at the end of the day I realized highschool was an alien planet..."

"Wuri Min min in an alien plannNNNnnnIiiiiTtt?" He teased as she tried to remove 1mm of the tumor at the edge.

Cold sweat came to her nose, another space she retreated from. A new way should be done to remove that tumor that cling to his gray matter or else it was all over... 

She sighed heavily remembering his words the two weeks ago

"yes, I will do it." she said nervously. She knew that the success rate of this particular case was next to 15%. based from the MRI scans she had studied, his tumor was too dissolved in his left occipital love to be removed easily.

"changed you mind, that took long enough..." he said, sitting in his high chair

she looked at him and fear adn anger mixed in her heart. was it her fault that fear and hatred prevented her from accepting the tast he gave. how can she accept a job when he had talen her against his will and enslaved him to his ersity.

"yes, i know it took so loong, but i am accepting the surgery now..." she openly challenged him

his devil may care laugh rang in the room. he stood up suddenly and walked to where she was seated in his bed. 

Now infront of her, he mockingly called her name over and over again, "somin, somin, somin..."

he leaned forward, until his mouth was just a hair-breath away from his ears. he said in the same mocking and threatening tone, "But remember Somin the deal. Your freedom, for my life..."

frightening tinging radiated to her whole body. she bowed her head.

he added, "and just know that when I say life, I do mean living. If something goes wrong, killing you would not be the end."

he played with a strand of her hair and said, "actually you would be wishing to dies that what my men would do to you if you don't succeed..." 

She shrug the memories behind, she knew the what was at stake in this procedure. She needed to do everything to make him live. she had to do a perfect procedure or else she was going to suffer. Her life was on the line.

'you have to get your head in the game Jung So Min. You are not the geniuse that your country is proud of, you are also the prodigy of the greatest neurologist in the world,Dr. Daniele Rigamonti' she reminded herself.

She had studied the tumor and she knew that even if there was a slim chance, there was still a chance. she knew this was her last chance. she woyuld rather take this chance than go insane with staying captive and enslaved forever.

The only solution was doing the surgery...

And in doing any brain surgery, emotions were useless.

On the surgery table, all that a doctor should be fundamentally be equipped with is their knowledge, skill and plan.

There is nothing more deadly than an emotional brain surgeon, because emotions can lead to error, and small errors in neurosurgery is more fatal than death.

Remebering the words of her mentor, "SoMin, remember my words intent and emotions sometimes cloud the judgement. So when you are in the you need to be an egotistical machinen no emotion and no fear. That is how we save people"

Already composed, she asked him, "I have explained to you that this question would test your memory, your thinking skills and your speech. In other words, you need to answer so that I can check if your brain is working properly. So let's go to the next question. "

She didnt have to wait long as he answered, "But we also talked about this my dear SoMin" in a very menancing clear voice.

A chill ran up to her gut as she continued to listen to him threathen"... I don't like divulging anything but since you insisted this to happen then I concede but if I have to tell you someone about me there has to be a trade off."

and he made the same speech he did a week ago, "If I have to say my secrets at least I need your secrets to sustain me from my anger of invading my memory, and well You know how I adore you MinMin"

She knew that she had no choice but to obey him.

She had no power to go up against him. No chance to be free from his grasp unless he wills it. She hated it.

Unable to contain her rising ire from the unpredictable dictator who has the heart of devil, hitler and Saddam Hoissein in one, she snapped back, "But I am complying with your rules already.."

She sighed realizing from the heated looks she was getting from Kyujong and HyunhJun that she had gone over the line, she added in a softer and remorseful voice, "..so please lets just get to the next question..."

To her relief he answered, "okay min min no need to be so ired, we dont want you angry while cutting up my brain."

he added in a lighter tone, "so what do you want to know next. my mother?"

she watched the monitor intently again

The moments of ire, anger, fear and confusion with talking with him was locked again in some corner of her mind as she started with the procedure again, "your mother..? okay then, what do you remember about her?"

She controlled the micro-scalpel as she dug in again as he heard him answer, "My mother's last wish..."

Touching the tumor, she acknowledge and prodded him more, "what about your mother last wish..?"

She felt someone touched her shoulder, she shrugged him off as she listened again to another eye opening story, "...her last wish was for me to kill her"

her concentration slipped and she almost let the scalpel dig deep to his occipital lobe, "what...?"she whispered her question

she crumpled her hands togetherto stop it from shaking from the horrow of what she was hearing. She tried tp steady the nervousness as she pick up her concentration again and listen to his tale, "she said God told her to make me to kill her. She begged me and when I refused she placed the knife in my hand and drove it straight to her heart. "

Her heart ached for him and she asked, "How old were you?"

"11 years old..." he answered indifferently. she looked around and was surprised that every one was calm about the fact that a mother made her son plunged a knife to her heart. they seem to act like they all knew.

He was her enemy, He was the purest evil incarnate for her but imagining a little boy doing such horror was too sad to not feel pity for the man she calls the devil.

She somehow felt emphathy for that little boy who had no power from stopping the death of her mother infront of his eyes.

She looked at him, not from the monitor but with her own two eyes.

He laid there on the surgery table in prone position, with his whole body drapped expect where the neurosurgery apparatus was attached to his head. He was lying there fighting for his life.

His life which started with being taught by his father to torture someone and his mother asking for him to kill him.

And now he was Kim HyunJoong, King Pin of the underworld Business. He was a killer and the devil incarnate.

And he was the one who kidnapped her from the safety of her home just because, "she was the prodigy of a great neurosurgeon" he had said

He had held her in captivity for more days than she could count. and as she thought of his cruelty, her imprisonment and her ensalvement came, hatred pours to her heart.

the memory of her first encounter came to her in a heartbeat.

"Please, please let me go...." she had been begging for an eternity since she was abducted from the parking lot of the hospital but silence was the only answer to her.

She was frightened to the core of her heart, mind and soul. SHe didnt understand, she didnt know why and she was so frightened that each bone in her body was shaking with fear.

she didnt how long she had begged them, but she was answered with an fast driving car sound. With her hands bound, her head covered in sack she was utterly useless and defenseless.

when the car stopped she was carried like a piece of sack into a room. her hands were released and the sack in her head removed.

it was the first time she saw him.

She sat infront of her like he was king and he said, "so this is Jung So Min, my new slave..?"

And since then her life was never the same.

She was subjected to his every whim. her life had become a living hell. and it was due ro him, Kim HyunJoong, the devil incanate.

She was the reluctant slave of the evil monster that was Kim HyunJoong. he was the kim hyunjoong who chained her to his bed with him for days at a time for his won pleasure.

He was the devil she feared and hated beyond eternity. 

and now she understood him, somehow.

Now, she pities him, somehow..

It was only now that she somehome understood a little part of what made him the devil that he was.

then the senses she trusted made her realize a grave danger...

.

'no this cant be...' her mind screamed as the sound of his heart flatlined.

She panicked. she didnt know what to do, she didnt know what went wrong and she didnt know what was happening. she couldn jump star his heart when he was lying in prone position. and if he tried to get him to lay in supine, the apparatus attahced to him made it impossible to do so. and if by some miracle she was able to do it, his brain would splatter all over the floor...

Everything became an endless blur.

she called his name over and over again. but no response came. His men removed her from the vicinity as she started to crunble from all that was happening. she fought back but they were stronger. she was held outside. screaming kicking and cursing, " you, get me back inside... I am the only one that can save that bastard. Let me back in..."

but her protest was turned to a blind eye and deaf ear.

It was after an hour when the people inside came out. No one spoke to her as she slumped on the floor. she stayed for another hour. she was in a daze.

She didnt know how and why but then she was immediately placed in a car. she knew it was the end. this was the "or else" part of the threath.

This is where she would rather die than live cause the punishment of killing the boss of the underworld society was too grave of an offense and crime.

She was dropped off in the middle of the street still in a daze.

Closing thedoor of the car, she came to her sense. and she suddenly asked, "what is happening?" she demanded

The guy named kyujong answered, "You are free to go?"

she was shocked and all she could do was ask, "why?"

"our boss ordered us, that if he dies you go free..." Kyujong said and the door was slammed on her face and she was left alone on the street.

she was left alone and cold.

Dazed and confused...

terrified and angered...

She was discovered by the police.  and the endless queationing started, "where were you..?"

"what happened", "are you okay?", "do you know where are you..?"

Still shocked, she couldnt utter any words.

Her boyfriend Lee TaeSung arrived with her parents and he asked, "Who is the bastard that took you from us for 4 months?"

"please Min please come back, you are safe now" her mother added

The mention of 4 months brought her back to her sanity and she asked taesung, "how long have I been gone?"

"So Min.. baby" he mother said crying at her sanity.

she asked again, "how long have i been gone?" she demanded, she needed to know.

"sweetheart you have been taken by those monsters for 4 months" her father said.

'4 months that i have been his slave, 4 months that i have been with him. 4 months with hyunjoong.. and now he was gone.' she thought.

"min min..." her name came from his mouth.

she had pretended to be asleep.

she didnt know what time it was but she wanted to escape from him. and sleep was the only way she escapes from him..

she felt the bed sag, and then felt him touch her head. she stiffened inwardly. 'he is here again...'

she waited for him to be 'the savage' that he was. she prayed that in her sleep he would spare her from him. even just in sleep...

"min min " he called again then she felt a gentle kiss in her forehead..

then he left. 

the reminder made her heart freeze and she leapt to her feet and cried, "No...!!!"

"Baby its okay, you are safe now. They will no touch you again" TaeSung assured her and comforted her.

"No, let me go..." she pleaded with them

Her mother hugged her tightly as she shouted, "Please let me go back to him..."

"what do you mean?" her father demanded, pushing and contricting her as she struggled from them.

she struggled some more, crying, "Please, HyunJoong... come back "

she threw them, and shouted "Jebal, why did you let me go...?"

"Please take me back, hyunjoong" she cried with all her heart as the last image she had of him was lying breathless on her surgical table...

-- the end --

.