Heck yeah, I'm keeping up the reposting process. Here's the second one this week. If I can manage to, I'll try to squeeze in another repost within 1-4 days. Although, on Saturday, I'll be busy.

Reminder: No stealing or copying or translating or plagiarizing my fic! I will make your life miserable if you do...

Repost: 12/16/15

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Sick With Worry

Like any season, summer went on without a single break.

As always, vacation season was hot and blistering, but that didn’t deter people from leaving their homes to go shopping—all kinds of stores booming with business.

At the bookstore, a flood of people would come every day, but this time for leisure and not for academics, browsing through or purchasing books, magazines, music, and movies. Across from the bookstore, the café you frequented to was similarly busy, and customers would commonly switch back and forth to enjoy both places.

At the bakery, rush hours were tight and crammed, being the busiest around eight in the morning and then around five in the evening. Every week, a new set of orders for personalized cakes would swamp the request box. Because of all the mayhem, every employee was crucially needed to handle it.

As for you, you had to constantly swap your location, from the bakery to the bookstore and vice versa. Having two jobs was stressful, considering that you were the co-manager at the bookstore while simultaneously being the head baker and decorator at the bakery. Although Suho, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Sehun worked at the bakery alongside Eunsun, you were still sought out every possible moment for your artistic expertise.

Realizing that it was inevitable, Yixing began to officially assist in baking and cake decorating, which thankfully took some workload off your hands since there was no doubt that he was exceptionally artistic and creative on top of being an earnest hard worker. Then Luhan came into the picture to help his dear Sehun at the front counter, dealing with customers and purchases. His attractive appearance combined with Sehun’s drew in a swarm of lovestruck female customers. In the background, Yifan and Kai reluctantly yielded to help with deliveries, whereas Xiumin, Chen, Chanyeol, and Tao aided in nightly clean-ups.

Everyone was exhausted to the bone at the end of each day—you especially.

Just minutes ago, the doors to the store had been closed and locked at the prescribed time of nine o’ clock, and the floor, tables, and counters had been meticulously mopped or wiped down. You and your brothers were slumped in the not-yet-put-up chairs at the front of the establishment. Eunsun was holed up in the office, doing financial calculations and such.

You rubbed the nape of your stiff neck, wincing in minute distress when you prodded at the tense knots there. Your eyes were dry as if you had gone without blinking for hours, and your back was understandably sore and taut from standing and walking around all day. Even your lungs felt robbed of oxygen supply as you huffed heavily through your nose and mouth. The stacked load of labor you’ve been subjected to as of the late was worsening your deteriorating condition. It spelled bad news for you.

Where they were around you from their own resting spots, the boys stared at you with undisguised worry, not liking how you were weakly bent over the table, your head buried in the circle of your arms. Amidst the silent night of the emptied store, it was easy to detect your ragged breathing.

A cool hand lightly touched your shoulder, then Tao’s soft, searching voice reached your ears soon after. “Aris-jiejie? Are you okay?”

Lifting your head from your arms, you saw his cute, concerned panda eyes pinned on your wan face from where he was partially leaning over you. You smiled bleakly. “Yes. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“Noona, are you sick?” asked Suho tentatively. “If you are, you should be resting.”

“I’m not sick,” you mumbled but knew that your denial was futile based on your pallid appearance.

Kai narrowed his eyes. “It’s because you have two jobs, isn’t it? You shouldn’t be wearing yourself down so carelessly like that. Just quit—”

“I’m fine,” you stressed resolutely.

Kai huffed at the sternness of your unwavering tone. Seeing that you wouldn’t back down, Suho adopted a different approach—which was to start taking care of you. He disappeared behind the double doors, only to return with a damp, hot towel that he wordlessly folded into a compress and draped it over your face to soothe your bleary senses. After the elder brother had taken the initiative, Sehun decided to retrieve a cold glass of water for you, of which you immediately gulped down, and Tao began to massage your shoulders with his long, clever fingers.

But, even after all the care, you didn’t feel energized nor any better. You were unable to bounce back as quickly as you used to.

“Jiejie, you look pale,” Yixing whispered, more alarmed than ever. “Very, very pale.”

As in deathly pale.

“I’m always pale,” you sighed, and then straightened up in your seat with some struggle. Touching your forehead, you diagnosed that you weren’t stricken with a fever, but the iciness of your skin definitely burned. “Ugh,” you grunted with a displeased wrinkle of your nose. When you noted how everyone was peering at you with troubled, suspicious gazes, you pretended to be livelier. A broad smile replaced your worn grimace. “Ah, look at the time! Luhan, Tao, Chen, Xiumin, we should be heading over to the apartment now.”

Luhan’s tone was deliberate and measured as he suggested, “Maybe we should stay home tonight. It’s getting late, and you look too tired to even drive.”

“You can drive if I can’t,” you countered, not giving in. If you did, it meant to them that you were indeed ‘sick.’

Predictably, Luhan attempted to argue. “Jiejie—”

“Leave it, Luhan,” you warned in a low tone. Luhan and Yifan exchanged startled glances at your snappiness. That was rare.

When you stood up and then proceeded to take a step forward, all of the sudden a great tremor shook your knees violently, and you nearly toppled over upon failing to right yourself. Multiple hands lunged forward to catch you, but it was Chen who caught you first, his strong arms encircling your waist.

“Noona?!”

“Jiejie?!”

Under the din of distressed exclamations, you leaned into Chen’s embrace and mumbled, “Thanks, Jongdae.”

“Please stay here tonight,” he pleaded with you, his hold on you tightening.

It looked like you were going to have to submit. You sighed defeatedly. “Fine,” you exhaled in a tiny breath. Chen moved to hold you upright by swinging up one of your arms over his shoulders and bracing your waist with an arm. Xiumin hovered by your other side, only keeping a steady hand on your arm, just in case either you or Chen faltered. Together like that, they let you hobble out of the bakery and over to the house, the other boys tailing after you like lost ducklings.

Upon entering the house, Yixing spoke up, “She can have her old room. I’ll sleep in the shared bedroom.”

You glanced past Xiumin to frown disapprovingly at Yixing. “No, Yixing,” you objected. “I’ll take the couch. That’s your room now.”

“You know we won’t listen to you,” Kai interceded when you had barely finished that last sentence. He shot you a meaningful look underscored with that stubborn arrogance you knew all too well. You made a face at him, to which he smirked at, proudly accepting his winning point.

In the end, you did occupy your old room, but now it was decorated with Yixing’s items, the dresser filled with his clothes. Even his scent had recently clung to the room.

“I’ll go find some of umma’s clothes for her to change in,” Kyungsoo said before walking off.

Your old bedroom had always been small, being that it was formerly a storage room; with its limited space, it could barely squeeze in three adults. Therefore, it was terribly overcrowded when filled with you and the boys. You were resting tiredly on the twin-sized bed, with Chen sitting at the foot of it, holding your hand. Xiumin and Yixing were pressed up against the wall as they opted to stay standing. Meanwhile, everyone else lingered outside the opened door. Earlier, after Kyungsoo had left, Suho decided to procure some medicine and a bottle of water, while Baekhyun and Chanyeol hustled off to retrieve towels and a bowl of cold water.

“I said I’m not sick,” you protested feebly when Suho tried to coax you into swallowing some pills to reduce fever and pain. Eventually, his sweet, pleading eyes made you surrender, and you willingly downed the pills along with a swig of water. Soon after, Kyungsoo returned with a spare change of Eunsun’s clothes, and all the boys had to exit the room so that you could close the door and change in privacy. After you did, you were forced to lay down again, propped up against a bunch of pillows, and be amiable to let Baekhyun fix a cold compress for your forehead.

Despite all your refusal and attitude, you enjoyed their loving treatment.

Eunsun arrived home to wonder where everyone had disappeared off to. Heading upstairs, that’s where she found you all gathered outside Yixing’s room.

“Oh! Aris-ah, are you sick?” she gasped in immediate concern, and the boys scooted aside to open up a pathway as she rushed over to you. She kneeled by your bedside and fussed over your listless form.

You gave her a bland look, on the verge of pouting. “No, I’m not! Geez, everyone is overreacting...”

“Because you never get sick,” Chanyeol remarked, eyes wide with puzzlement and wonder. “This has to be the first time.”

“It’s called being tired,” you corrected stubbornly.

Reaching over his mother’s shoulder, Yixing gently brushed his fingers across your cheek, then checked your forehead under the compress. He frowned at the cool yet fiery sensation your skin exuded.

“I think your fever is acting up,” he murmured, but somewhat hesitantly because it confused him how you certainly didn’t have that hazy, heated look in your eyes. Not at all. Your eyes were as lucid and brilliant as ever.

For the next hour, everyone stayed behind and took care of you. You were urged to take sips of water, and your compress would be replaced now and then. Other than treating you with care, they did other things to uplift the mood, making you chuckle softly or smile in affection at their cute, little actions. Chen and Kyungsoo took turns humming songs to please you. Chanyeol told funny jokes. Kai and Sehun bantered comically. Yifan was mostly silent, only staring at you with fondness. Suho and Yixing stayed near you as if to maintain contact, like how Yixing gently your hair or how Suho rested his hand on your ankle from where he sat. Time passed by quickly, becoming later and later in the night. The boys were obviously sleepy, but they were too reluctant to leave you unattended.

Eventually, Eunsun had to enforce her motherly authority, shooing the boys away. “Out. Out. Let her sleep. She’ll be better tomorrow.”

I’ll talk to you later, you mouthed to her when no one was looking.

Understanding, she nodded in response and closed the door behind her.

...

It was unspoken that Xiumin, Luhan, Chen, and Tao would be spending the night here, too worried to leave without you. Their brothers spared some extra sleepwear for them to change into, and then they all rearranged themselves in the bedrooms.

Yixing was laying on his old mattress in EXO-M’s bedroom, situated near the window. The only sounds that could be heard amidst the night were Xiumin and Tao’s soft snoring and Chen shifting about in his sleep. However, unlike them, Yixing was wide awake, his mind hyper with focus as he tried to put together a complicated set of puzzle pieces.

Puzzle pieces about you to be exact.

Compared to them, you had always been strangely resilient to sicknesses and ailments, so why was it now that you finally collapsed? Have you been not eating and sleeping regularly? But he was sure you had lunch and dinner today and the days before that, although not as much than usual, as if your appetite had fled. Then, was Kai right about you being overworked? Or perhaps not resting enough? If so, then Yixing would help Kai in persuading you to quit your job at the bookstore.

His thoughts wandered over to your appearance. Your skin was ashen now as if you were anemic, and lilac bags were nested under your eyes. You only smiled when you seemed to remember, and every movement you made was wooden and heavy like you were forcing yourself to endure such a cumbersome weight in your bones. More than ever, your gaze would constantly become distant and lidded over, as if you were stuck on an absent thought.

What was wrong with you?

Yixing flopped over onto his back and let out a low huff. He stared blankly at the ceiling, thinking, Is Aris not telling us something important?

“Go to sleep, Yixing,” someone muttered beside him amidst the dark, quiet room. He blinked in surprise and glanced up to peer over a pile of pillows and blankets. He could see someone’s back facing him, along with a familiar head of blond hair that shone a metallic ivory under the beams of moonlight.

Sighing, Yixing relented, laying back down, but he ultimately asked, “Were you thinking the same things as me, Yifan?”

The older male was silent for a heartbeat before replying, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“She’d tell us if something was wrong, right?” Yixing whispered, sounding desperate for some kind of a reassurance.

“I think so...” Yifan answered in an unsure mumble. “But you know that Aris is strong. Believe in her.”

Yixing raised an interested brow when he caught the difference in the other’s way of addressment. “When did you start calling her ‘Aris’?”

Fortunately for Yifan, Yixing couldn’t see how his cheeks had heated up in the darkness, although he had surely noticed how his back had tensed up. “I-I—it was just for the moment!” Yifan explained awkwardly. “Just go to sleep!” Yixing watched as his older brother ducked under the covers and then ceased all movement.

Yixing closed his eyes. Even Yifan expresses his feelings for Aris. I’m not the only one who...

Unknown to both of them, Luhan had heard everything from where he was situated on the opposite side of the room. He was frowning as he faced the wall, his back to everyone else. In his thoughts, he was doubting you, unlike how Yifan had advised Yixing to believe in you.

Aris...do you really trust us? Have you ever trusted us? Why won’t you tell us if you have a problem? he thought miserably. Agonized, Luhan shut his eyes, only to see you behind his eyelids, smiling at him, reaching for him, and saying his name.

Please trust me with all your heart. I want to erase all the worries that cloud you from me.

...

It was sometime past midnight when you ordered your aching body to rise from bed. You had to head downstairs to speak with Eunsun privately in the kitchen.

At the dining table, the two of you sat adjacent to one another. You were hunched over the table, chin resting on the top of your folded arms. A mug of warm milk was placed in front of you, but you only stared at it idly, while Eunsun watched you with b anxiety, waiting for you to speak.

Finally, you did.

“My body...is deteriorating.”

Eunsun shifted uneasily, her brows pinched. “What do you meant exactly? Like, health wise or...?”

Like you’ve been doing all day, you sighed, and doing that made your lightheadedness pronounced. “My body... It won’t last for much longer,” you explained, but it sounded more like a grievous confession. “The burden attached to it is causing it to...fail, ultimately.”

Eunsun grimaced at the horrible thought, and she couldn’t hide how aghast she was when she said, “You mean...you’re dying?”

Despite the grimness of the moment, you chuckled dryly, almost sardonically. You didn’t look at the older woman when you asserted, “I won’t disappear that easily. Remember? I explained this to you long ago—what will likely happen.”

Indeed, Eunsun recalled your lengthy list of explanations and reassurances, which, in turn, calmed her down a smidgen. But still, she was upset for you, unable to handle the thought of you being more and more lifeless each second...of you losing your hold on life, letting it slip through your fingertips like the grains of sand from an hourglass.

“What about your bro—I mean, the princes?”

You painfully clenched your eyes shut at the reminder.

Your princes. Not your brothers.

“What will happen to them?” Eunsun insistently questioned, her face sketched with worn lines of worry as she unwittingly let loose a pinch of panic. You had nearly forgotten how old she was now. She’s been your mother for twelve years, so she was forty-seven to date.

And you were twenty-seven. You used to be the youngest...

Shakily, you ran your fingers through your hair. “You know that I...wouldn’t leave without any precautionary measures left behind. And you should know when and what to tell them if things get out of hand.”

“I meant how they will cope,” your mother whispered. “They love you—dearly. They’ll be devastated.”

“I know,” was your soft and tender response—the only response you could afford to say to something like that. A sharp sensation had stabbed you when Eunsun had spoken, the relentless pain lodged deep within your chest. You had the right to be bitter and mad and— “But I can’t consider their feelings right now. It will only make things worse and complicated. They don’t know that I’m not their real sister, and that’s why they’re confused and muddled by their feelings.”

“I think they’ve been like that for years,” Eunsun murmured, staring down at her clasped hands. “The way they looked at you changed at some point in their lives.” At least, she swore it was distinguishable for some of them. To her, the easiest to spot was Yixing, but she had a strong feeling that Luhan and Kai had showed signs during their high school years. She wasn’t entirely sure about Yifan since he was usually reserved and preoccupied. However, Baekhyun might be another who conveyed a difference in his actions towards you, and so was Suho. The others, though...

A crease formed between your brows. “They’re just mistaking sibling love for romantic love,” you denied thickly.

Honestly, that’s what you wanted to believe, but deep down, you knew that it was false. Maybe it was that tormented part of you that only refused to admit the change in love because you knew how painfully difficult and emotionally damaging it was to see them love you like you were engaged again. Only time, effort, and truth could repair the broken bridge that once connected your love to their love. But it was unadvisable at the moment. Thus, that invisible wall long since erected would forever stand rigid and bar the two differences. Besides, it’s been so many years that you swore to forsake any romantic feelings for the princes, and their own feelings could’ve been influenced by hormones or been battling with uncertainty or other factors.

You were...lost. With your choices, with your feelings, with them.

“How long will you think you’ll...last?” Eunsun asked in a hopeless whisper.

You held up your hand and saw it flicker—becoming translucent one second and then solid the next. You flexed your hand experimentally, checking to see if it was still intact.

“Not long,” you confessed gravely, lips pursed. “It may be a few days or even a few hours. But, if anything goes wrong, I hope that I’ll at least have the chance to say goodbye—just in case the spell didn’t work properly.”

“I pray that it didn’t—and that you’ll survive,” Eunsun said fervently but desperately. She reached out to tightly squeeze your hand as if to transfer all of her strength and vitality over to you. After all, she was warm and full of life while you were a fading light that was dimming with each passing minute. You were in dire need of her support and belief. “You’re so strong, Aris-ah. I’m proud to have you as a daughter.”

Turning your hand around, you swapped who was holding onto who and rubbed your thumb across her knuckles, grateful for her praise and comfort. Unwittingly, you located the barely noticeable pulse that coursed through her fingers. It was like a reference point to you. A lifeline. An anchor.

“Me, too.”

Because in your heart and soul, you sincerely hoped to have more time with your princes—because eternity was not enough. You needed more than eternity in order to have the time to discover your true feelings...and maybe one day confess.

...

The next morning, the boys were extremely happy that you were up and about, radiating your familiar angelic self with a rejuvenated smile on. Even so, they were overly concerned and argumentative.

“Good morning!” you sang blithely as they gradually filtered into the kitchen. Unlike the boys, who all woke up late, you had purposefully risen a little past eight to mentally prepare for your façade.

Initially, Tao had lit up at your greeting, but then he blinked rapidly when it struck him that you were supposed to be in bed. “Jiejie? Shouldn’t you be resting? How’s your fever?”

“I was worried when I didn’t see you in your room,” Yixing muttered behind Tao, clutching at his chest while his antsy heart recovered from its short panic attack.

Crossing over to them, you patted their cheeks reassuringly. “My fever’s gone, so I’m fine, see? Now, is everyone awake? I’m making breakfast.”

“Not everyone is awake. Luhan-ge, Yifan-ge, and Kai are still sleeping in,” Chen said, staring at you dubiously through drowsy eyes until a yawn preoccupied him. His hair was tousled, so you brushed it down neatly, eliciting a small, grateful smile from him.

“I’ll help cook breakfast,” Kyungsoo asserted, worried that you might overexert yourself and collapse from fatigue again.

You rolled your eyes. “Pansies.”

No matter your protests or reassurances, Kyungsoo, and even Xiumin, lent a hand in cooking the food. Although, you personally thought that sharing the workload made it actually enjoyable that way. You playfully bumped your hip against Xiumin’s and bickered over recipe measurements with Kyungsoo.

“Oh, umma said I can take a break from the bakery for an entire week,” you informed them matter-of-factly while the table was being set. “So, that way, I’ll only have to focus on working at the bookstore.”

Suho and Xiumin exchanged appeased nods from across the small space that separated them. You were listening to their reasoning; that was a good sign.

“That’s nice,” Suho commented genuinely. “I hope that means you’ll have more time to rest.”

“But I’d like it better if she only worked at the bakery instead of the bookstore,” muttered Baekhyun. “That way, she’d be closer...” Chanyeol nudged the shorter male with an elbow, telling him to cheer up.

“I’ll drive you to work,” Suho offered like the gentleman that he was.

As you and Kyungsoo set heaping plates of freshly prepared food onto the table, you beamed at him gratefully. “Thank you, Joonmyun.” With a single gesture from you, all the boys present dug in, devouring their fill.

“Oh, I better go check if the sleepyheads are up yet,” you sighed. “Be right back.”

Chanyeol spoke up, “I can—”

He was cut off by a shake of your head, and you motioned at him to sit back down. “I’ll do it, Channie. You eat.”

Chanyeol pouted but otherwise obeyed. Sauntering out the kitchen, you then hurried up the stairs, but at the top landing, you stopped there to lean against the wall tiredly, catching your breath. It was like you had hiked up a mountain as you inhaled and exhaled breathlessly.

“Noona?”

Oh, shoot. Glancing up, you spotted Kai striding towards you down the hallway. Hoping that he hadn’t seen your moment of weakness, you shot a bright smile at him to distract him. His dark hair was tousled as if he had just rolled out of bed (which was likely), and he was wearing his favorite t-shirt and pair of jeans.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” he asked, halting in front of you, mere inches of space separating what could’ve been bodily contact. Kai was exuding a serious attitude rather than his standard uncaring one.

In an attempt to be lighthearted, you hit his chest. “I’m fine, babo. Don’t mind me. Anyways, I came up here to make sure that you, Luhan, and Yifan know that breakfast is ready. You better go down and eat, or else all the food will be gone.” Message delivered, you edged around him, meaning to head to the vicinity of the bedrooms to search for the other two, but then your wrist was abruptly snatched into a tight grasp, and you were pulled against a warm, muscular body.

“J-Jongin?” you stuttered, baffled as you felt his arms wind around you securely. He rested his chin on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

“I won’t let you go until you admit that you’re not okay,” he mumbled, burying his nose in your long, glossy hair. His words were filled with double meaning.

Throat tight, you tried to pull away, but his arms were constricting, not allowing any major movements.

Now your voice was hard and curt. “Jongin, let me go.”

“No.”

“Kim Jongin!”

“Just admit it—you’re putting on a fake smile.”

“It’s not fake!”

It was a mistake not to control yourself better as the shaky pitch to your objection clearly indicated your lie. Your cheeks flushed a deep red at your slip-up, and you bit your bottom lip, distraught.

“Alright,” you whispered in resignation against his chest. “I’m not okay.”

Kai loosened his hold on you so that he could study your face. Dismay and exhaustion had left their marks on you, colored and etched into your very spirit.

“See? I told you. So stop pushing yourself and pretending that—”

A finger to his lips interrupted him mid-rant.

“I’m not okay,” you repeated slowly and deliberately. It rattled you how effortless it was for him to figure out, or somehow sense, your internal struggles and impediments. Moreover, it was mystifying how he intuitively knew that you weren’t just sick, but on the inside, tormented. “But neither am I okay with myself for not being okay in the first place. Yes, I am forcing myself to endure whatever plagues me and act like nothing’s wrong, but don’t pry, Jongin. You don’t know the half of it.”

“I would if you would just tell me,” he said through gritted teeth, pinning you with an accusing glare.

Seizing your chance, you escaped his grasp and stepped back from his range. You let him see the rueful smile that adorned your lips.

“Someday, you’ll understand why I’m like this,” you told him softly. “Just not now.”

Then you ran off before he could stop you.

Much like you had done, Kai bit his bottom lip, but in his case, out of frustration. “Dammit. Why do I love the most secretive, evasive person on Earth?”

...

After turning the corner, you reached the proper bedroom door that belonged to EXO-M and proceeded to knock on it. On the other side of it, there were sounds of shuffling and footsteps, and then the door opened.

“Eh? Oh, it’s you, Aris,” Luhan uttered, blinking in mild surprise at your unexpected appearance. Even though you had graciously permitted him to and actually preferred it, he had accidentally said your real name. His smooth forehead creased with lines of concern. “Shouldn’t you—”

“Say ‘shouldn’t you be resting,’ and I will snap at you,” you warned.

Luhan held up his hands in surrender. Smart boy. “Okay, okay. Sorry, I was just worried.” His doe eyes softened. “I’m glad you’re up.”

His amiable attitude brought forth a happy smile from you. “Thanks for recognizing that.” Then you peered about and quizzically asked, “Where’s Yifan?”

“In the bathroom,” Luhan replied, mock exasperation filtering his tone. “You know him. It’s mandatory that he takes good care of his skin.”

“Ah, yeah,” you agreed. “Shall we head down to breakfast together, then?”

Luhan grinned, definitely liking that notion. “Sounds perfect. Let’s go.”

You looped your arm through his offered one, and together, the two of you traveled downstairs merrily.

But your act didn’t fool him, though.

In the past, I may have been blind, but now my vision of you has cleared up, so I can see right through you.

...