Dear lord. This was a monster of a chapter. I probably have no more brain juices left. Sorry for any mistakes.

If I don't update again this month, then I must be busy with other things, most importantly college and my other fics. Keep an eye out on this story's subscriber feed for further news.

Reminder: No stealing or copying or translating or plagiarizing my fic! I will make your life miserable if you do...

Repost: 8/5/15

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Buried Underneath Human

The next morning, you woke up with a spinning head.

“Ugh,” you groaned groggily as you struggled to sit up. Once you were upright and your vision cleared up, you blearily scanned your surroundings and realized with a puzzled start that you were in your room resting in bed. How did you get here? Clutching at your heavy head, you tried to recall what happened yesterday night. The boys moving in... Relaxing out on the veranda... Wondering what was wrong with your health... Talking to Luhan...

Ah, you inwardly confirmed as a small, appreciative smile laced your lips. So it was Luhan. That was sweet of him. I’ll make sure to thank him later.

Then the aching and heaviness of your body grabbed your attention. It felt as if your muscles had been replaced by lead, weighing you down with the intention of never letting you back up. Doing your best to ignore the discomfort, you rolled your shoulders and neck, getting rid of the kinks. “What time is it...?” you murmured before glimpsing at the alarm clock perched on your nightstand to check. “Nine-twenty, huh? How strange. I usually wake up at eight-thirty.”

That was true. However, now that your body was showing symptoms of deterioration, you needed more sleep and rest in order to maintain your energy and strength. So gradually, as of the late, you had been sleeping more and more each passing day.

Shaking away your worrisome thoughts, you remembered your new housemates and told yourself to hurry up and greet them. Therefore, on wobbly legs, you rushed out of bed and went into the bathroom that was thankfully unoccupied.

Exactly twenty minutes later, after you had taken a quick, hot shower, had towel-dried most of your damp hair, and had thoroughly brushed your teeth, you dashed back into your room to change your clothes. Comfortable boot-cut jeans hugged the slim shape of your legs and a black tank top was worn under a navy blue tee that sunk in at your narrow waist. Lastly, you combed down your tangled hair as the final part of prepping yourself before heading out into the hallway. Your destination was the kitchen.

But as you entered the narrow hallway, you could hear people arguing in raised voices. You hadn’t noticed, much to your surprise, that some of the boys were already awake.

“Don’t you dare touch anything, Kim Zitao!” someone threatened.

“Awww! But I want to help!” protested the one being threatened.

“Xiumin-hyung, pay attention to the stove or else the food will burn,” someone else cautioned in exasperation.

“Boys?” you sought out in amusement, coming closer to the kitchen and peering past the high counters.

Simultaneously, Xiumin, Tao, and Chen whirled around and brightened up when they spotted you. “Morning, jiejie!” chirped the trio, beaming.

You chuckled at their enthusiasm. “Good morning,” you returned genially. Then you inclined your head past them, indicating the stove. “Cooking breakfast?”

“Er, trying to,” Xiumin said sheepishly, a spatula gripped in his hand. “We’re not exactly chefs like Kyungsoo or Suho.”

“Or Yixing,” mumbled Chen.

 You smelled something frying and something else that was burning. Casting your curious gaze around, you recognized the mess of pans, bowls, utensils, and various ingredients laid out before you. You refrained from grimacing.

“Maybe I should take over before you three make things worse,” you admitted.

Tao pouted. You wondered if he knew he had a speck of flour along his chin. “But jiejie,” he complained, “we wanted to surprise you with breakfast!”

Edging around the counter to enter the kitchen, you tenderly wiped away the flour off his chin with your thumb and smiled up at him. “How about we cook breakfast together?” you suggested to appease him.

Tao beamed, completely won over. “I like that idea better!”

Now taking control, you ordered Chen and Tao to put away specified ingredients that you deemed unneeded and to tidy up the counters. After washing your hands and letting Tao tie an apron around your waist, you began making omelets with Chen’s help, who retrieved whatever you needed and properly whisked the eggs you cracked. Off to the side, acting under your instructions, Tao washed and cooked the rice that was going to be fried then added to the omelets later. Beside you, Xiumin was frying up sizzling bacon and also cutting up slices of ripe strawberries, which were side dishes.

“Where’s Luhan?” you asked aloud while folding the fourth rice-filled omelet in the pan. You noted how it was past ten o’ clock now.

Tao snickered. “You know gege can’t wake up on his own. He went to bed late last night, too.”

“Yeah, he slept around eleven,” confirmed Xiumin, who was Luhan’s roommate.

Your lips were pursed into a thin, worried line. Luhan was with me last night, you thought. I fell asleep, but I don’t remember what happened after that. I’m certain that he was the one who carried me to my room, but how long were we out there on the veranda? Then your eyes softened. That silly deer...

“I’ll go wake up Luhan,” you decided, handing your job as the head chef over to Xiumin and untying your apron when your hands were free of cooking utensils. “Minseok, be careful not to let the omelet burn while you stuff it with fried rice. Jongdae, Zitao, please place everything on the table and start eating, alright?”

“Okay,” they chorused obediently.

You tossed the apron onto its hanger as you sped by. Your feet carried you over to Luhan’s shared room with Xiumin. Standing hesitantly in front of the closed door, you lightly tapped on its surface with your knuckles to announce your presence.

“Luhan?” you called out in a soft, measured voice. “Are you awake? Luhan?”

Since there was no verbal response, you pried open the door and cautiously peeked inside.

There he was, a flat, dead heap on his single bed, his slack face buried in his smushed pillow. The blankets tangled around his curled up form were scrunched up, resembling the low waves of the sea. His feet were sticking out from underneath the covers, vulnerable to the room’s cool air. You could hear his soft snoring, and it brought an affectionate smile to your lips.

“Oh, Luhan,” you whispered fondly as you quietly approached his bedside. You knelt down and leaned over the bed’s edge, chuckling at the up-close sight of an innocent face and disheveled honey blond hair. Reaching out, you tenderly the curve of Luhan’s milky, smooth cheek with the pads of your fingertips.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you murmured gratefully, eyes gentle and transfixed. Moving in closer, you planted a soft kiss on his forehead, just like he had done to you last night, although you were unaware that he did.

At your tingling, cool touch, he stirred and was dimly aware that someone was next to him. Like countless times before, he instinctively thought an intruder was invading his bed, so he reached out to ward off whoever it was. Barely conscious, the young man pushed you away by the shoulders, and you could only laugh at the cute, silly action. “Was I rejected?” you joked, then burst into a fit of mad giggles.

Your sweet, angelic laugh alerted Luhan of reality more distinctively, filtering into his ears like a crooning lullaby. Eyes flashing wide open, he jerked upright, nearly colliding into you if you hadn’t reared back, and mumbled, “What the—” With his fists, he rubbed at his drowsy, lidded eyes. He looked so adorable, like a sleepy little deer.

Luhan blushed beet red, from his ears to the tip of his nose, when he saw you merely two feet in front of him, kneeling by his bedside and clutching at the sheets as uncontrollable giggles left your parted lips.

“N-noona!” he gasped, flabbergasted, then quickly hid behind his blankets. “W-why a-a-are you laughing?” he stammered, embarrassed for not knowing why, but he had an inkling it was because of him.

He was right. You unsuccessfully smothered a giggle behind your hand as you said breathlessly, “You—you were so surprised i-it was adorable! Your sleeping habits haven’t changed a bit! I-I tried waking you, but you—you pushed me away!”

Luhan was now blushing to the roots of his hairs. He weakly covered his mortified face. But even though he wanted to sink into a rabbit hole and stay there forever, he couldn’t resist the urge to gawk at your unguarded expression, marveling over how your beautiful features would light up when your eyes shaped into crescents and when your smile stretched wide.

Laughter subsiding, you patted his blanket-covered knee reassuringly. “Of course you didn’t mean to, silly. I know that. You were asleep.” Doe eyes stared at you dreamily as you softened and said affectionately, “Anyways, thank you, Luhan, for carrying me to my room last night. That was very generous of you, although you could’ve just shaken me awake.”

Luhan’s racing heart slowed to a safer tempo—one that wouldn’t induce him to have a heart attack—but it was still fluttering wildly. “Y-you’re welcome,” he returned modestly. “But I didn’t want to disturb your sleep. You looked so tired...”

“I was tired, but I’m feeling better now,” you half-lied as you rose to your feet. “Luhan, hurry up and brush your teeth. Your brothers and I made breakfast together. We’re having omelets stuffed with fried rice.”

Nodding compliantly, Luhan asserted, “Okay. I’ll be there.”

You his hair lovingly before leaving his room—also leaving him with a pounding heart. He wondered if you had heard its frantic beat. Bringing his hand up, he touched his forehead curiously, having felt a leftover sensation linger there. If he remembered correctly, he swore that full, plush lips had—

“Did she...did she kiss me?”

That very thought made him squeal and flop back onto the bed covers.

...

Part of him was relieved to not have taken up the offer to live with you. Yet, another part of him nagged at him endlessly why he should’ve.

Last night, in the narrow-spaced privacy that was your old bedroom, Yixing had scarcely gotten a wink of sleep. He had laid there in bed, staring up distractedly at the dull ceiling, and had pondered what it had been like for you to sleep in such a confined area. It was stifling to be enclosed in the makeshift bedroom, but not to the point to where it was suffocating. The main problem, though, to Yixing, was that staying in a room that reminded him too much of you did nothing to help him sleep. Thoughts of you would plague him incessantly every time he closed his eyes or dozed off.

It was true that your room wasn’t the only accommodating option Yixing had. He could’ve roomed with his brothers in the other bedrooms if he so wished to. Since the others had moved in with you, Yifan was thus left behind to be the only occupant in EXO-M’s bedroom. That is until Suho and Sehun offered to share the space to fill in the void. Rearrangements done, it was like so: Yixing was alone in your former room; Yifan, Suho, and Sehun were in EXO-M’s; and Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, and Kai were in EXO-K’s. It seemed fair.

Too mentally winded up like a vintage toy, Yixing sincerely and fervently wished for a moment of privacy with you. He really wanted to speak to you alone, to be transfixed by your lilting words, to be assuaged of his inner stress by your very presence. However, such a feat was difficult to do, considering that he had eleven brothers and his mother to share you with. Then again, Yixing had always been too hesitant and not-so-straightforward. He was the person who took tentative steps towards you, but only unless he was sure you wouldn’t notice.

When was the last time you had directly spoken to him? It’d been yesterday during dinner...

That instance only kept hm sane for barely a full night.

When morning finally came, Yixing rose from his bed like a resurrected zombie and hastily did his bathroom necessitates before the room was crowded by his fellow housemates. Later on, he sauntered downstairs wearing a beige V-neck pullover with the sleeves rolled up over a dark gray wife-beater and a slim pair of blue jeans. He was trying to fix his wavy, bedraggled hair as he ambled through the archway that opened up to the kitchen. Eunsun was already there, stationed by the stove as she busied herself, cooking breakfast meant for eight hungry boys.

When he entered the corner of her vision, she chimed a hearty “Good morning, sweetie!”

Yixing bowed his head and returned warmly, “Morning, Mama.”

When he crossed over to her, she paused mid-stir so that she could take a lock of his ruffled hair and curiously examine it in her fingers. “I think you need a haircut,” she commented after briefly inspecting his long fringe.

Yixing inwardly winced. “Ah, no thanks,” he said, declining that suggestion. “It’s fine, Mama. I like it long.” Because Aris told me she likes it long.

“Where are the rest of your brothers, hm?” Eunsun asked as she resumed her cooking duties, mixing this and chopping that.

At the dining table behind Eunsun, Yixing uncharacteristically slouched down into one of the wooden chairs. “I think I heard Suho and Kyungsoo get up before I came down,” he replied, thinking back.

Eunsun chuckled fondly. “The other boys are so lazy compared to those two. Jongin-ah is the laziest one of all.”

Yixing’s responding smile was faint, but his trademark dimple was pronounced nonetheless. “Yifan-ge and Luhan-ge are heavy sleepers like Kai,” he chipped in.

Eunsun hummed in agreement, and then she threw a sideways look at the antique clock hung up on the wall to the right of her. A thoughtful line creased her forehead. “Hmm, I wonder if everyone at Aris-ah’s place has eaten breakfast yet. The employees have already opened up the bakery a while ago...”

At the mention of you, Yixing visibly brightened in acute awareness. He eased up from his slouch as he involuntarily leaned forward in his seat in interest and anticipation. “Is she coming over?” he interrogated. “When? Why? Is she working at the bakery today?”

“From what I know of, yes, she is,” Eunsun said. If she hadn’t been focused on piling food onto plates, then she would’ve shot her son a teasing look for being so intrusive and greedy when concerned for your whereabouts and wellbeing. “But I’m sure she has to work at the bookstore today as well,” she added as an afterthought.

A small frown graced Yixing’s thin lips. “Why does she work there again?” He wasn’t a person who often had the flair to hate things or hold grudges, but he had to admit that he despised the fact that you juggled two different jobs. It meant that work would constantly steal your time and attention away from home—from him.

“She’s sort of the assistant manager there and also handles other duties,” answered Eunsun. “They pay her decently, but I think her main reason for choosing that particular place is because of the nice café nearby and the employee discount she can get on books.”

Yixing chuckled goodnaturedly. “That’s so like her.”

Their laidback conversation was put to a halt when seven rowdy, ravenous boys clamored downstairs and flooded into the kitchen for homemade breakfast—a luxury Yifan and Yixing did not have when living in Beijing. Usually, if Yixing couldn’t cook due to his busy school schedule, then the others would scrape by with meager suppers consisting of mostly store-bought microwavable meals and instant ramen. Xiumin had tried to lessen the burden for Yixing by whipping up his own easy-to-make dishes, but repeatedly eating the same plain-tasting recipes only decreased their appetites.

“When’s noona gonna be here?” inquired Chanyeol, already in search mode for you.

Exuding a patient air, Suho checked the time on the clock and informed Chanyeol, “Soon. She has the next shift with Baekhyun.”

“Can’t she take a break today?” Kai butted in, addressing his mother. “All she has today is work—from morning until late evening.”

Extending a hand, Kyungsoo flicked Kai’s unsuspecting forehead, and the latter whined under his breath as he nursed his wound sorely. “You idiot,” Kyungsoo chided appropriately, answering for his mother. “Aside from umma, she the most talented and experienced baker we have, so we can’t just let our best asset go when she has to handle all the difficult cake orders. Besides, she wouldn’t have to work so much if certain people”—he aimed a scolding glare at Kai—“actually lent a hand. We have good business, remember?”

Knowing that the more-than-obvious barb was referring to him, Kai defended himself by saying, “But I can’t bake even if my life depended on it, hyung.”

Sehun rolled his eyes, not empathizing with Kai’s dilemma at all. “Then be a cashier like me. It’s not hard to do, unlike baking and decorating.”

“I hate working,” muttered Kai, poking at his food with his chopsticks.

“Couch potato,” accused Sehun, sticking a tongue out at his useless brother.

“Couch potatoes don’t have abs,” Kai retorted, a smug smirk already fixed in place.

“I have abs, too!” Sehun countered, almost jumping out of his seat as if to tackle Kai.

Suho chose that moment to intervene, holding out both of his hands towards the bickering two, just in case he needed to physically separate them. “No arguing over the table, please,” he urged sternly.

Breakfast was devoured in minutes. Yifan and Yixing politely helped their mother clean up the dining table and wash the dishes. Moments later, the hinges of the front door could be heard creaking as someone opened it—from the outside by the sound of it. Yifan and Yixing perked up when Sehun cheerfully crowed, “Noona! Luhan-hyung!”

The two of them quickly dried off their hands, and Eunsun watched them hurry off in amusement. At the front of the house, Sehun was hugging you and Luhan excitedly, giving off a strong impression that he never wanted to let go. Sadly for him, the youngest child was pried off of you when Chanyeol and Baekhyun demanded their welcome back hugs next. Sehun pouted at the scene and clung to Luhan who was chuckling. Xiumin, Chen, and Tao were hovering behind you, waiting to see if they could also sneak in some bear hugs.

“Guys, you saw me yesterday,” you gasped, breathless from the bone-crushing hugs that did not relent in their grips or numbers. But, despite your words, you didn’t mind the daily air-choking embraces since you’ve grown used to it long ago. Only Yifan and Yixing stood off to the side, not following the trend of crushing you to death as they opted instead to not interact.

Kai, who was persistently holding onto you, mumbled, “That’s too long ago.”

With his honed muscles and longer reach, Tao effortlessly tugged you away from Kai. “Let jiejie breathe! Geez, she looks smothered.” He graciously patted down your mussed hair and cupped your cheeks to examine your flushed face. His meaningful care made you laugh, to which he only grinned slyly in response.

Seizing his chance, Baekhyun swooped him and hooked his skinny arm around yours. “Come on, noona,” he sang blithely. “We have work together!”

“Awww!” Chanyeol immediately complained, gangly shoulders slumping. “But what are we going to do without noona?”

Chen shrugged placidly. “Just hang out here.”

“Can I work today?” Yixing blurted out, for once unable to control his impulsive mouth until it was too late and everyone looked over at him questionably. All those curious and surprised stares made him shift in discomfort.

Eunsun was the one to break the ice when she skipped over to Yixing and patted his shoulder encouragingly. “Oh, that’s a great idea! You haven’t helped out at the bakery since your junior high years!” She gave you a searching look. “What do you think, Aris-ah?”

You smiled approvingly. “I’d like that,” you conceded. “Yixing is amazing at decorating.”

Yixing flushed at your praise. Baekhyun was pouting in protest but didn’t voice it out loud. Yifan squeezed Yixing’s thin shoulder, physically expressing his support since he knew that the younger male needed some to boost his courage.

While everyone else stayed behind at home, Yixing and Baekhyun strolled alongside you as the three of you made your way to the bakery situated out front. In a joyous mood, you held the hands of the boys on either side of you and swung your interlocked hands back and forth as you hummed a merry tune. Both Yixing and Baekhyun were beyond the realm of bliss right now as they watched you with loving eyes.

Once the three of you entered the bakery—the bell hung on the door announcing your presences with a twinkling ring—respectful greetings were directed your way by the employees present. Some of the employees were either Baekhyun’s age or older than Yixing. However, the two employees that’d been with Eunsun during the time she had discovered you thirteen orphans that were now her kids had quit their jobs here long ago and had found better occupations.

After clocking in for duty, you, Yixing, and Baekhyun donned on the standard white chef coats and aprons. Exiting the employee locker room, the three of you got into gear in the kitchen. You and Yixing teamed up to decorate a requested birthday cake. Baekhyun was by the table behind you two, icing cupcakes and occasionally drifting off to monitor the ovens.

While working, light, friendly conversations floated in the space between you and the boys. Baekhyun explained about recent college-related events and assignments and expressed how he couldn’t wait until he was out of school for summer vacation, which was in a couple of days. Yixing described all kinds of things about Beijing, like the food or scenery there, and then admitted how he really missed it here. When either boy spoke, you listened attentively and commented when it was appropriate.

“Jiejie, here,” Yixing said softly as he handed you a pair of handmade fondant roses. One was blue, and the other was white; they were quite small, not molded into the exact sizes of a real life version, but the curved shape of their seemingly soft petals and the twisted, intertwined lines of their thin stems signified how extraordinarily crafty the creator was. The flowers looked all too real. Your hands brushed Yixing’s as you took the sugary flowers, and electricity shot up both your spines.

Your eyes widened as an unexpected flashback raced through your mind.

“Which flower do you prefer the most, Princess?” Yixing asked gentlementally.

Surveying the various bushels and trellises of plants, you contemplated haltingly. “Hmm... I favor the blue rose... No! Maybe the white one!”

The flower-growing healer chuckled at your indecisiveness. He solved your dilemma by suggesting, “How about both?” Standing close by your side, he reached out to pluck the two mentioned flowers from their bushes with his deft fingers. He wrapped the differently-colored roses in a spare handkerchief of his—careful not to prick his fingers—and presented them to you generously, albeit shyly.

A hand over your heart, you were deeply touched by his thoughtfulness. Yixing diligently spent his time and effort into this garden, gave you whatever you wanted, and, to top it off, even ensured your safety. You reached out to accept the small bouquet, your hands brushing against his. He shivered at the simple, pleasurable contact.

“Thank you so much,” you whispered softly.

You were stunned. To the core.

And you wanted to cry. For the first time in years.

“Aris-jie?” Yixing implored in a hushed voice, urgent and bewildered. He was in disbelief, telling himself that his vision was faulty when such a heartwrenching look crushed your beautiful, lively expression. His voice managed to snap you from your stupor, bringing you back to the present, but soon afterward, your eyes glistened, pooling with tears.

Blinking rapidly from shock, you stared at the fondant roses held in your hand mystifyingly as if they’d been conjured up by magic. You frantically thought, No, it can’t be. It’s not like he actually remembers. It’s impossible for him to remember with the spell in place. This is just plain coincidence... But why? Why did I feel...so hopeful?

You were crushed, and you knew it.

Suddenly Yixing felt slim arms winding around his neck. A distinct floral scent that undeniably belonged to you assaulted his nose from close up. “J-jiejie?” he stuttered, confounded, as he automatically rested his hands on your narrow waist to steady you. Yixing was glad that Baekhyun had disappeared earlier to the other side of the kitchen; therefore no one was around to see you embracing him tightly.

Yes, that was right. You were embracing him.

Your Yixing, who loved flowers because you did. Your Yixing, who always gave you whatever flower you wanted.

Your Yixing, who was still the same. Inside and out. Dimples and all.

“Thank you,” you said thickly, almost sniffling, your tears unfallen and your throat clogged up. Those simple two words had been nearly impossible to say, for they were loaded with so much emotion that yearned to pour out everything it had but couldn’t or else you would start bawling for weeks to come. “For more than you know,” you whispered against Yixing’s collarbones, your warm breath feathering across his sensitive skin and eliciting shivers from him. A few heartbeats later, you pulled away from his tender, soothing hold and held up the sugary roses that you took care of not to crush. “I love it, Yixing. It’s beautiful, especially since you made it for me.”

Yixing’s ears burned an interesting shade of coral pink. His arms ached to hold you again, but he firmly resisted the tempting urge and bashfully looked away instead. “O-oh, no pr-problem,” he stammered, awkwardly shy. “I-I’m just glad you li—love it.”

Since then, those handmade flowers stayed close to your side as you continued to work. Occasionally your gaze would flicker to them, and you swore they were real, your mind—and probably your heart—tricked into thinking that they were the exact flowers that Yixing had given to you long ago. A tiny bouquet comprised of a blue and a white rose wrapped in a handkerchief.

Stay like that forever, you found yourself helplessly praying. Never disappear. Never die. Never change.

Was it the roses you were talking to...or someone else?

...

It felt too soon when your shift at the bakery finally ended for the day. You had to head to the bookstore now, but two certain people (ahem, Yixing and Baekhyun) were all too reluctant to let you leave. They earnestly begged you to stay, on the verge of kowtowing with their heads slammed onto the floor if that would convince you to.

“I’m sorry, guys,” you told them ruefully as you slung your bag over your shoulder, your chef outfit already stored away in your employee locker. “But I have to go. It’s work.”

“Do you want me to call Kai or Suho-hyung to drive you there?” Baekhyun asked, still putting up a fight. If you were leaving, then you should at least go with approved bodyguards.

You pinched his cheek playfully, and Baekhyun yelped like a puppy at that. “Clingy teddy bear,” you chastised him lightly. “I think Chanyeol’s been rubbing off on you.”

No, they were always like that, you inwardly corrected. Although, they certainly got more possessive since their high school years.

“Will you be back for dinner?” Yixing asked while wringing out his slender hands nervously.

You nodded affirmatively and said, “Of course. I promise I’ll be there, okay? See you later, then.” Waving those two farewell, you rushed out of the kitchen to the front of the store. You breezed out the bakery’s entrance then halted in surprise.

Parked nearby was a familiar SUV. Casually leaning against the hood of it was a young male with striking tan skin and upswept dark hair. He looked like a model straight out of a photoshoot as he confidently stood there, a pair of sunglasses shielding his eyes from view. Looped around his index finger was the ring attached to his car keys, which he was currently twirling around.

Instantly catching sight of you the second you had ambled outside, he straightened up his lax posture and directed a winning smile your way. That smile, though, did not fool you, for it resembled more of a grin to you. “Hey, noona,” he greeted brusquely. “There you are. I’ve been waiting for you. Come on. I’ll drive you to work.”

His very presence made you highly suspicious. You approached him tentatively with a raised brow. “Kai? You’re driving me to work?” you questioned skeptically. “Why?”

Kai shrugged nonchalantly. “Felt like it,” he said as he stopped twirling his keys. “Besides, it makes everyone feel better knowing that you’re safe with one of us.”

“Oh, so you’re worried that something bad might happen to me?” you summarized dryly. Wow. How ironic.

“Something like that,” he agreed tersely, before gesturing with a sweep of his arm. “Well? Are you going to get in the car or what?”

“You’re so pushy, brat,” you mumbled, your plush lips puckered out in an unsatisfied pout. “And cocky.” In an unwilling manner, you walked over as Kai opened the car door for you ‘gentlementally.’ Sighing in defeat, you hopped in, and Kai closed the door. Then he went around to sit in the driver’s seat. That annoying grin of his was plastered across his face as he started up the SUV and then pulled it out of the lot.

“So, how was your week?” you asked Kai conversationally, breaking the first few minutes of silence. “How’s school?”

Kai harrumphed. “Boring as ever,” he answered blandly. Then he adopted a singsong tone as he said, “Sehun and I keep getting confronted by so many fangirls.”

He was baiting you, trying to imply something to invoke a desired reaction. What did he want? A jealous spark? A sudden confession? Whatever it was, you adamantly ignored the trick and fixed your gaze out the window instead, observing the passing scenery neutrally. Kai frowned at your silent counter, and you spotted it in the window’s reflection.

Fine. If he wanted to egg you on and interrogate you, then you might as well return the favor.

“Any girl catch your interest yet?” you inquired of him bluntly. It was like a replay of your moment with Yifan yesterday, and you inwardly cringed at the echo of torment associated with that memory. Great, you grumbled sarcastically. Now you sorely wished that you hadn’t decided to get some payback because it hurt to know, but it also hurt more to be ignorant.

Kai snapped his gaze over to you at the biting question, but he refocused it on the road ahead when you evasively turned your head away. He managed to keep his normally arrogant tone mild as he replied, “Nope. No one.” He grunted. “It’s been awhile since I last dated. How about you?”

You frowned at the redirected question. “Me? You know I don’t date. I’ve never dated once in my entire life.”

“Isn’t that kind of...sad, though?” Kai wondered out loud, a troubled knit forming between his brows. “You’re in your late twenties and not once tried to date anyone. Wait, have you even had your first kiss yet?” He sounded aghast at such a belated realization, but he also overwhelmingly relieved. He snuck a glance at you, only to secretly gape at the intriguing sight of a rare blush that reddened your pale cheeks. You failed to hide it, even with your hair utilized as a curtain. Your voice was small and vague as you admitted, “I...I planned to give it to someone I really love.”

Originally you had intended to give your first kiss to one of the EXO princes who managed to capture it on their own—and hopefully in an unexpected, romantic way.

But that was a silly notion to have...and an impossible one now.

All these years on Earth, you had prohibited yourself to ever be ‘in love’ or be romantically involved with someone. Your devotion to the princes remained strong, passionate, and unwavering, pushing aside any outside forces that dared to threaten your loyalty. But that very commitment of yours was also a curse. In exchange for their happiness and safety, you sacrificed your own.

Kai understood what you meant, but he found it exceptionally odd that you were never interested in pursuing a relationship. How were you supposed to give away your first kiss when you hadn’t fallen for someone yet?

He refused to say it aloud, but thinking back, he should’ve used his advantage as your younger brother long ago to steal at least one kiss from you. To ensure that your first precious kiss belonged to him.

No more words were passed between the two of you after that. The conversation had ruined the mood, and the silence that was the product of that was stifling. It was only when Kai idled the car on the street near the bookstore did you speak again.

“Thank you, Jongin,” you told him softly. Then you alighted and closed the car door. Your head was ducked and your eyes were lidded over as perplexed thoughts plagued you.

Kai gnawed on his lower lip in vexation. He pounded his fists on the steering wheel and berated himself for acting so stupid, so insensitive. He had troubled you with his intrusive questions, thus making you unresponsive and solemn. He needed to sincerely apologize and quick.

But only after he investigated—the real reason why he came here with you.

...

A low, bitter sigh escaped your lips. Hours have passed, and yet you were still disheartened by your earlier conversation with Kai.

“I brought it on myself,” you mumbled as you halfheartedly surveyed and reorganized the bookshelves. “You shouldn’t be so nosy, Aris. It’s their life. The only right you have is to ensure their safety and wellbeing.” Your lips were pressed together into a grim line at the severe reminder, your jaw clenched tight.

“Um, excuse me?”

“Hmm?” From your perch on a small ladder, you glanced down to locate the person who had called out to you. You faintly recognized the guy who was patiently standing there by the bookshelf you’ve been tending to. “Ah, you’re that young man from earlier this week,” you realized.

The young man nodded, smiling because you remembered him. “Yes, that’s me,” he confirmed in a rich, light voice. “You helped me pick out a good book.”

In order to respectfully talk to him on the same ground level, you climbed down the short ladder. Then you brushed off your hands in a business-like manner. “Oh, yes, I remember that. Did you enjoy reading it?”

He nodded again. “I did. You have great recommendations. But now, for my literature class in college, I need to read a few books from a list my professor assigned me to compare them in an essay. I was wondering if you could help me pick out which ones to write my essay on.”

Recommendations? You could do that. No sweat. “Of course!” you complied with an affable smile. “That’s why I’m here. Can I see the list?”

Fishing it out of his pocket, he handed the folded piece of paper to you. “Here you go.”

Goosebumps formed up and down the young man’s arm when his skin made contact with yours momentarily. But you barely noticed as you intently skimmed the list. His name was written on the top right-hand corner: Kwon Jiyong.

“Okay, follow me, Jiyong-ssi,” you urged, inclining the way with a tilt of your head. He gladly tailed you as you led him from shelf to shelf, hunting down the books you selected from the list.

“So, out of all from the list, I prefer these books,” you told him, holding up the stack of three thick novels and offering them to him.

“Thank you very much,” Jiyong said with a charming smile, his eyes gleaming in appreciation. “I’ll definitely read these, then.” He took the books, liking the feel of your soft skin brush against his. The sensation was addicting.

You cocked a brow at his willingness. “You’re not going to evaluate them yourself before buying them?”

Jiyong shrugged, not worried. “If you’re saying that you prefer these kinds, I’ll take your word for it.”

“You’re strange, but you sure are sensible to listen to me,” you joked delicately.

Jiyong followed you to the cash register. There, he made small talk with you, and you responded back kindly, but just to be nice. He was a customer, after all.

“Oh, so you took college again,” you said as he explained what he was doing in school.

“Yes, first music, now literature,” he replied, taking his bag of purchased novels that you passed over. “Also, I’ve been meaning to ask...how old are you?”

Pausing, you peered at him guardedly. “How old do I look?”

He was taken aback for a minute at your evasiveness. “Um, about twenty or twenty-one,” he guessed.

You did indeed look like a fresh young lady straight out of college, but that was terribly incorrect. You laughed gingerly, sensing how considerate he was being but also noting how blind he was of your beauty.

“That’s way off,” you said as your laughter died down.

“Really? Then what’s your real age?” Jiyong pursued persistently.

“You shouldn’t pry a lady for her age,” you , but then bargained, “But I’ll tell you if you tell me yours.”

Jiyong relented with a sigh. “I’m twenty-four.”

You refrained from appearing miffed because you knew how he’d been openly flirting with you. “Jiyong-ssi...I’m three years older than you.”

Baffled, his eyes went wide. “What? By three years? You look so young, though!” He hadn’t guessed that he’d been developing a hard crush on an older woman.

You laughed dryly. “Thanks, I guess. Why did you ask, anyways?”

Swallowing thickly, Jiyong confessed, “I...I was hoping that you might want to go on a date with me.”

Now it was your turn to widen your eyes. A straightforward request for a date? When was the last time you’d gotten that? A large percentage of confessions you typically received had disappeared ever since you officially graduated from college. You had a strong feeling it was because you tended to land jobs that didn’t involve so many coworkers...or because of a certain group of nosy, possessive brats who were known to be your brothers.

“I-I’m really sorry,” you told him sincerely. “I...I don’t like to date...unless the person is older than me.”

Why did you say that? You wanted to punch yourself.

Jiyong was dejected by your honesty. He grimaced a bit as he asked, “Can’t you...at least give me a chance?”

“You’re a nice guy and all, but I’m not interested,” you said frankly. “Please understand.”

His face fell at the clear sincerity firmly set in your beautiful chocolate eyes. “Sorry for bothering you, then. Please don’t mind me.” Taking a step back, he gave you a lingering, wistful stare. “See you around.”

“Thanks for coming here,” you said gently and watched him go with a depressed slump to his shoulders. Once he was gone, you half-hid behind the counter as you buried your face in your hands and grumbled, “I’m such a meanie.”

“Noona?”

Who is it now? Oh, wait. That’s...

From behind your hiding place, you glanced up to see Kai’s worried gaze pinned straight at you.

“What’s wrong?” he prodded, having seen your miserable posture. “Did something bad happen?”

You immediately shook your head. “No! Nothing’s wrong! I’m just...tired.”

Well, that last part wasn’t lie. You honestly felt lightheaded and depleted of energy.

That worried Kai even more. She’s not telling me something, he thought angrily, narrowing his eyes. But aloud, he reminded you, “Isn’t your shift over now? I can take you home.”

“Oh, that’s right. Okay, let me grab my stuff and tell manager-noona,” you said. Kai waited by the cashier while you scampered off to the back of the store, grabbed your bag, bid farewell to your boss, and hurried to the front again. There, you stumbled upon the scene of a random high school girl openly ogling and flirting with Kai. Unfortunately for the girl, Kai was disinterested in her, wearing a passive mask and not taking up any of her advances as he gave her monosyllable answers.

“Can we exchange numbers, oppa?” she was asking him in pitchy, pleading tone.

Kai shook his head, being very blunt as he said, “There’s no need. I wouldn’t call you anyway.”

Ouch, Jongin. Easy on the words, you thought with an exaggerated wince but welcomed the swell of relief and pride that surged in your chest nonetheless. He was the same old, haughty, know-it-all Kai.

Your Kai, you might add.

The girl’s face fell. “What? But why not?”

Seeing the need to, you interrupted the one-sided conversation by pointedly stepping forward. You inclined your head at Kai meaningfully. “Alright, I have my stuff. Can we head home now, Kai?” you asked deliberately, the undercurrent of your tone mild but hard.

The high school girl zeroed her small eyes on you suspiciously, taking in your beautiful, slender physique, flawless, pale face, and soft, alluring voice. Compared to you, an angel sent from Heaven, she was an overrated plastic doll. She felt self-conscious and insignificant standing next to you, especially when Kai brightened up at your presence.

“Yeah, let’s go, noona,” he agreed. Kai made a big show of wrapping an arm around your waist, hips knocking as the two of you exited the bookstore.

“What was that?” you asked him when the two of you settled into the SUV.

Kai seemed genuinely puzzled. “What was what?”

“You know what I’m referring to,” you said, jerking a thumb at the bookstore outside the window. “You could’ve given that girl a chance. That, or be a bit nicer with your rejection. I thought you would’ve at least considered dating her.”

Kai furrowed his brows at your assumption. “No, I didn’t consider it at all. She was very annoying. I think she’s younger than me, too.” Then he shot you a probing stare, demanding, “So what was your deal? You were acting pretty...assertive there.”

“Aren’t I always?” you countered in an attempt to hide the fact how...defensive you were upon seeing him with that girl.

Okay, so you were possessive and jealous when the boys attracted girls like bees to pollen. But you only outwardly showed it if it happened right in front of you, and if the boys didn’t like the girls and wanted to get away.

Kai grinned triumphantly, correctly guessing the truth behind your act earlier. “Yeah, right,” he snorted smugly as he started up the SUV. “You tell me to be nice with rejection when you totally crushed that guy’s feelings.”

“Yeah, he was being too persis— Ah, wait!” Your eyes grew wide with realization, which caused Kai to also notice his slip-up. You glared at him while he pretended to be innocent as he drove. Too bad his pursed lips and wooden posture rendered him guilty.

“Kim Jongin,” you enunciated slowly and precisely. “Were. You. Stalking. Me?”

He fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, his façade faltering. “Uh...maybe?”

“Kai!”

“Well, you were acting really weird! So I stayed around since I was worried!”

“And that gave you the right to stalk me?!”

“I don’t know, alright?! I just knew if someone was bothering you, I’d beat that person’s shameless as—”

“You cuss, I’ll hurt you.”

“Beat up whoever for messing with you!”

“Oh, forget it!” you groaned in exasperation, sinking into your seat. “It already happened, so nothing can be changed.”

Now Kai felt awful for offending you. Curse him and his loose tongue. In his peripheral vision, he saw you rub the ridge of your nose tiredly. Twice today his conversations with you had gone downhill fairly quickly. Were you stressed out because of him? That thought made the guilt monster chow down on his feast of apologies that settled in his heart.

Leaving one hand on the steering wheel, Kai reached out with his free hand to grasp yours gently. Surprised by the heartwarming contact, you looked at him strangely, as if waiting for another mishap, but all he did was rub his thumb across your knuckles soothingly. He only spoke up when he properly gathered his thoughts together.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I was honestly worried, thinking that someone might snatch you away from me. I’m sorry for what I said before, too. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

My Jongin...

You chuckled softly. “Idiot, that’ll never happen. I won’t ever let that happen.”

Your reassuring pledge seeped through his stubborn defenses. Kai believed you without a doubt.

But, although you couldn’t be someone else’s, you couldn’t be his either.

...