Chapter 8
Thin Line Between Love and Hate
A little short while after Yunho was rushed inside the E.R, a few of their school mates came to the hospital.
Yoochun was slumped against the wall, head buried on his folded arms as he spilled tears for his best friend. His Uncle Heechul along with the P.E teacher Mr. Kang arrived. Heechul crouched down, hugged him tight and gave his back forceful yet gentle rubs.
"Tell me what happened." Heechul coaxed as he pulled back and wiped his nephew's tears.
He felt his heart clench. The young man looked beyond distraught. His cheeks were wet and his eyes were red from crying.
With his tears welling up, Yoochun held his Uncle tight again and buried his face on the crook of his neck, sobbing, as if he was clinging to him for emotional support. Then he began recounting everything that happened. In between hiccoughs, Yoochun told him of how they were inside their classroom eating their lunch. Yunho had been in a very good mood. He couldn't seem to stop smiling.
Then Yoochun about the picture that he saw earlier that morning. Yunho spluttered and tried to grab him. But he avoided his hands just in time and Yunho ended chasing him around the room as he laughed at the embarrassment on his hyung's face.
But Yunho was laughing along anyway. They were having fun. And Yoochun was so happy that Yunho for the first time appeared to be genuinely content with life. But then they heard the panicked screams and... everything just happened so fast.
They saw Jaejoong dangling. Before he could even fully understand what was going on, Yunho already came out of the window and began to jump on the ledges. His hyung didn't seem to think. His actions were of pure instinct - to get to Jaejoong as fast as he could.
He didn't even have the chance to pull him back. He was too slow. When he arrived downstairs, Yunho had already fallen.
Slowly, Heechul pulled back and cupped both his cheeks, reminding him that Yunho was a tough sonofa and he wouldn't die just because of a fall. Eventually, Yoochun calmed down. And even though his eyes remained glassy, at least he wasn't bawling anymore.
Jaejoong was hunched on a wooden bench, mind only filled with thoughts of Yunho. His whole frame continued to shake, eyes wide as he stared blindly at the blood on his hands. Fresh and dried tears tainted his cheeks as tears poured down his face in absolute abandon. He barely noticed the presence of his Council Members by his side. The rubs on his back didn't matter to him.
It was as if his heart was being torn into shreds. So many emotions flooded his chest that threatened to make him loose consciousness. But he held on tight. He didn't want to succumb to the darkness. He had to know that Yunho was okay first, that he was alright.
A choked sob rose up his throat once again. His hands clenched into fists as he bit at his bottom lip enough to draw blood.
The way Yunho looked at him before his eyes drifted shut, it kept replaying in his mind. Why did Yunho have to do that? Jaejoong would have been okay with falling. When he saw that Yunho was in just the same dangerous situation as he was, he didn't care at all for his safety. He just desperately wanted for Yunho to go back to whatever window he came from and stay unharmed.
But Yunho refused to listen to him.
He even called him an idiot.
Stupid.
A hoarse low sound left Jaejoong's lips, as he felt his tears intensify. Who do you think you're calling an idiot huh? You were the one that came to my ing rescue! The one stupid enough to do something that no normal person would do! Didn't I tell you to not scare me again? You told me not to worry because you won't give me a reason to be afraid. But what did you do now Yunho?!" Jaejoong hid his face behind his hands as he wept, devastation and misery blanketing him whole. "Answer me you bastard!"
Yunho was in the emergency room and there was a possibility that he might die.
Jaejoong didn't want to think for the worst. He didn't think he could handle it.
Another hand was laid on his shoulder along with voices that continued to tell him that everything was going to be fine.
Jaejoong bitterly laughed.
Right.
The very people that joked about Yunho's past, calling him pathetic and worthless scum, were finally showing sympathy?
Rage boiled within Jaejoong's system at the thought. No one cared for him before. They didn't know him and they sure as hell didn't have any right to act like they're feeling bad for what happened now! It was a little too late for that. They all needed to ing get out of his face because if he heard one more assuring word that he knew didn't really mean anything, he was going to explode!
But luck was a .
The Student Treasurer opened his mouth as he mumbled under his breath how Yunho deserved what happened to him. Judging from all the people that he had beaten up and ended in the hospital when he was still a gang leader, this wasn't penance enough.
Jaejoong caught the words. And in an instant, he did something that shocked everyone to the core. He punched the bastard hard on the face. Instantaneously, Jaejoong toppled him to the ground, raining blow after blow to what body part he could reach.
With every punch, he defended Yunho. He screamed and yelled at the boy in immense sorrow as he continued to cry his eyes out, threatening him that if he ever talked smack about Yunho again whenever he was around, he was going to sorely to regret it.
The Council Members and a few of the other students could only look at Jaejoong in frozen silence. Never before had they seen Jaejoong act this way. They didn't even think he was capable of hurting a fly. It was like seeing a completely different person with the same face. And it scared them. Knowing that Jaejoong wasn't as gentle, cool-headed or as angelic as they thought he initially was.
It took Heechul and the P.E teacher approximately five minutes before they were able to control the fight.
The student was quickly rushed for treatment after Jaejoong was done with him. Painful bruises were rapidly forming on his skin. Heechul strongly criticized Jaejoong for his actions, telling him how he better prepare himself for the consequences. But Jaejoong wasn't listening to him anymore, as his eyes were directed towards the doctor coming out of the Emergency Room's double doors.
In an instant, Jaejoong was in front of the physician, demanding to be told of Yunho's condition.
The bleeding had stopped and fortunately, the damage done to Yunho's head wasn't life threatening. After undergoing an MRI and a CAT Scan, the doctor revealed to them how Yunho's condition was a case of acute Subdural Hematoma, the bleeding between the brain tissue and the dura mater (a tough fibrous layer of tissue between the brain and skull) that occurred quickly after the impact of the fall. However, even though he wasn't in danger, they still had to observe his condition in the next several days.
Night came and Jaejoong and Yoochun were the only ones left inside Yunho's room. Jaejoong had never stopped holding the other man's hand as he placed it against his cheek. He had been able to properly breathe after hearing the doctor's news, but his heart still wasn't put at ease. And he didn't think it would, unless he'd see Yunho's eyes flutter open again.
"Jaejoong, it's already late. You should go home." Yoochun suggested. A part of him wanted to spat harsh words at Jaejoong for what happened to his best friend. But then every time he saw the misery in the other man's eyes, he was left biting at his tongue.
"I'm fine. I'll watch over him." Jaejoong replied, never tearing his gaze away from Yunho. "I won't leave his side."
Yoochun let out a deep breath and leaned back against his chair. "Aren't your parents going to be worried for you?"
Pain seemed to flash across Jaejoong's eyes before he slowly shook his head. "No. They're out of the country."
Nodding slightly, Yoochun asked. "Do you want something to eat? I'll buy something at the diner across the street."
"Thanks. But no."
"Why not?"
"Not hungry."
Yoochun's eyebrows knitted together. "Have you eaten anything at all since morning?"
Jaejoong had been very busy with the preparations, that he didn't have any time for lunch at all. And it was already night. But his stomach didn't mind. He was too worried and concerned for Yunho. He couldn't eat. Even if he wanted to. "I told you I'm okay."
He studied Jaejoong for a moment before shrugging. "Alright. Whatever you say." He stood up and went out of the room.
But a few minutes later when he came back with two bags full of dinner in hand, Yoochun forced food down Jaejoong's throat. Because somehow he knew that Yunho wouldn't forgive him if he didn't make sure that Jaejoong was eating right until he woke up.
He should have known than soon enough he would be back home. Heechul-nim had phoned his butler and he was fetched straight from the hospital. Jaejoong didn't want to leave but Siwon wouldn't hear any of it. He reasoned that the young master looked terrible and Jaejoong wouldn't go looking like a walking corpse as long as he had any say in the matter. Jaejoong got that Siwon-hyung was just worried.
In a way, he was like the brother he never had. And so in the end, he was dragged back home whether he liked it or not.
Sitting on the bed was torture and the tears came almost instantly. Yunho's scent lingered on his sheets. Memories of what happened that morning flooded his thoughts. He hoped with all of his heart that Yunho would wake up soon. It hadn't even been a day yet and already, he missed his voice, his stupid teasing grin, his smug smirk, the feel of his hands on his skin, and those warm lips upon his.
Yunho.
He never fully understood it until now. He had been adamant to keep up the facade that he let him get away with everything because they were friends. But deep down inside he knew that it wasn't the reason. He wasn't stupid. Friends didn't kiss each other with the kind of passion he and Yunho shared. Nor did they touched with the same intimacy they both held for the other one.
Jaejoong laid down on the bed, and hugged the pillow that Yunho had used to his chest.
He didn't know when it started, didn't know when he stopped and Yunho began. But he did know, that before he could prevent himself from falling, he already fell - hard. Maybe it was because of Yunho's hatred towards him. Jaejoong curled into a ball. Maybe it all started from there. When Yunho glared at him from a distance. The first time he saw eyes that hated him for his perfection.
Several times after that incident, completely out of his control, Yunho would simply take over his thoughts any time of the day. His dark eyes frightened him, his very presence alone stirred anxiety in his chest. And yet, he found great difficulty in trying to forget.
Jaejoong buried his face on the pillow, feeling it dampen with the result of his heartache.
If only he had known that this was going to happen, then he should've been more open to his feelings from the start. He was still scared with society, the faces of his parents once they found out about his ersion constantly made him fret. But now he realized, as long as he had Yunho with him, then maybe, every scathing remark would be worth it. Jaejoong sobbed. If he could turn back time, he would tell him...
His eyes fluttered close, whole frame going lax as slumber pulled him in to it's peaceful clutches.
The clock striked twelve minutes past midnight, and Jaejoong once again was crying in his sleep.
Yunho... saranghae.
Comments