His Only Wish // One-shot ; 1,936words // KyuMin // Angst, Drama // PG // It's Sungmin''s birthday but he knows he could never have his only wish..

“Put your hands over his shoulder!” Yesung mused as he pulled Kyuhyun’s hand and put it over Sungmin’s shoulder.

“You really want to live out your title as KyuMin’s Fanclub president are you?” Kyuhyun laughed but obliged nonetheless as he lean closer over Sungmin’s small figure, growing used to all of this fan service they’re obliged to do for the fans, he doesn’t think of it as a burden anyway as he regards it as a usual interaction of two friends, especially him being close to all of his hyungs.

However, it was different to the other man who grew stiff by the interaction, no matter how Lee Sungmin have been doing this for years, he can’t find himself getting used to all the fan service, especially when it’s the magnae who is at the receiving end, which is something he can’t run away from as he and Kyuhyun, KyuMin as fans pen them, are one of the “norm pairs” of Super Junior, thus they’re obliged to do some -slapping, intertwined claps, lingering looks and some playful interactions from time to time that the management deemed to be a great way to market them and earn more money, as if they’re  not already earning millions from them. It might be just a simple friendly interaction for Kyuhyun, but it was different for him.

He could still remember the time when he was actually enjoying every sweet moment like this. The very second Kyuhyun joined their group, he already knew he’ll like the guy. That was the reason why he welcomed Kyuhyun wholeheartedly, and chose to stay by the magnae’s side when everyone else was judging him. They became the best of friends that they’ve already grown accustomed being with each other. But he didn’t’ realized that the thought of liking the guy would actually come real on the sense of like-liking someone, not just the simple like a person feel for a friend, but the like with the hearts doing wonders to put more colour and whatever magic on the word. So before the word jump to the next level, an emotion that until now he refuses to admit he feels for the magnae, no matter how strong his heart radiates the feeling whenever the magnae was near, he somehow distanced himself to the other, which the magnae didn’t seem to noticed as that time he was already growing closer to the other members. And that thought also torn his heart to pieces, yes he’s happy that Kyuhyun managed to grew close to the other members, but he must admit, he do miss those times when Kyuhyun would whimper in the dark whenever he felt the others doesn’t like him, but then the fragile guy will smile as he feel Sungmin’s presence, thanking him for being there for him, as if everything’s fine as long as they have each other. He missed those times when he only had Kyuhyun by himself.

He heard the camera click, the state of his heart being mirrored by the image in the picture, sad, depressed. And as Kyuhyun left his side, he managed to bring out a fake smile on the next click, as his heart torn into million pieces, knowing he’ll never get his one only wish.

*

He stared at the bloody red liquid in his glass as he laughs a bitter one, thanking the perfect creation for being his lone companion in his misery. He’s thankful and he did felt the love of his friends who cared for him and wanted him to be happy at this special day, but after all the rustles and the bustles of the celebration, when all of them went on with each of their lives, now that he’s all alone, he can’t help but launch in his misery and dream of what he could never have.

He heard the door of his room opening, and for a minute he thought the alcohol was playing jokes with him and bringing him the illusion of the man that had been occupying his dreams and imaginations.

“Sungmin hyung. It’s already 4am, why are you still awake? And wow! Did you finish all of those by yourself?” Sungmin’s roommate asked as he eyes an empty bottle of wine, and another which is about to be on the same state as the first one.

“Well I don’t have anyone to help me.” Sungmin whispered.

Kyuhyun bit his lips, suddenly guilty, but then he smiled again as he grab one of the wine glass just beside their wine collection and sat himself on his bed. He reached for the wine and poured some of its contents in his glass.

“Well you have me now, don’t you?” Kyuhyun smiled, and Sungmin scolds his heart as it flails like a fangirl in the mesmerizing sight. Something that only Kyuhyun could do.

“It’s okay it’s already late. I’m sure you’re tired, you should go to sleep. I can manage by myself.” Sungmin whispered, afraid to show the magnae what he was doing to him.

“But I can’t just leave you like this.” Kyuhyun persist, making the other man frustrated. Was he really this oblivious?! Can’t he hear the sound of his heart breaking whenever he’s with him?

“It’s okay I would just go ahead and bother Shindong, he’s expecting me to be there anyway.-“ “But Shindong is with Nari.” Kyuhyun cut him, making him froze in air as he was about to stand up and leave.

 “Then what do you want me to do?!” Sungmin sighed as he stretch his body up, the alcohol on his system taking over his body, giving him the confidence to toll out all his building frustration.

Kyuhyun froze at his spot as his throat constricted him of words, he could feel the gloomy cloud looming over the older’s figure and he wanted so much to help the other see his sun but he knows he can’t.

“I’m sorry, I’m just drank. Let’s just sleep.”

“I’m sorry hyung.” Kyuhyun whispered.

Sungmin halt at his steps, registering the magnae’s words. “For what?” He whispered.

Kyuhyun can’t seem to find the right words to say so he just trusted his body and let them brought himself towards the older, his hands automatically attaching into the other’s body, hoping that action do speak louder than words.

“W-what are you doing?” Sungmin asked, his heart doing crazy somersaults that he feel like his body’s about to explode.

“Nothing, I just want to greet you a Happy Birthday.” Kyuhyun shake his head a no, his heart sighing in glee as he feel the older relaxing in his hold. “Do you know what I wish to God for you right now? I wish that he’ll give you happiness.” “-But.” Sungmin interjected, wanting to say how’s that possible if Kyuhyun is his happiness, and he knows that that’s something he could never have, but his tears prevented him from saying it out loud as it freely flowed from his eyes.

“You’re such a great person hyung. You deserve all the happiness in this world. And I’m sure you could find it anywhere you wanted to.”

“You don’t understand it. You-“

“Please stop doing this to yourself hyung. You deserve way much better. You deserve someone that could..” Kyuhyun trailed off, suddenly realizing what he was about to say.

“Someone that could what Kyuhyun??” Sungmin asked, tilting his head upwards to look the magnae in the eyes. Kyuhyun immediately avoided the gaze as he feels his heart thumping like drums, he was about to step back, not liking where this could lead to but Sungmin immediately held on to his hand, and his heart stopped beating but only to shatter into pieces as he feel Sungmin’s hands tremble, and the pain in Sungmin’s heart radiate in to the hold. “Someone that could love me back?”

Kuhyun bolted his head upwards, wanting to defend himself but as he sees the pain in the older’s eyes he knows that not even the strong grip in his heart, unabling him to breathe is not even half worse on what he’s doing to Sungmin, so he just dropped his head down, letting the silence as the clear answer to Sungmin’s question.

Sungmin laughed from his aches as he look at the dejected figure of the younger, and he sighed as no matter how much pain the other gives to him, there he was falling even more.

He stepped a little closer, letting his body main him for the first time, and engulf the fragile body at his front.

“H-hyung?” Kyuhyun asked as he froze from the touch.

“You wish me happiness right?” Sungmin asked. Kyuhyun was about to retort, he love his hyung so much, he’s the best friend he ever had, but how much as he love him.. “Don’t worry.” Sungmin muttered, stopping him from his deep anxiety.

“Do you know what makes me happy Kyu?” Sungmin asked, pausing for a while to wipe the endless flooding of tears on his face, but he continued not expecting an answer from Kyuhyun. “Whenever you sing, that amazing voice of yours that leaves everyone in awe. Whenever you play your games, that look of concentration on your face I honestly admire how determined you look as you give your best to win every single one of it, just like when you dance, you don’t know how much proud you make me whenever you perfect a move no matter how much you think it’s impossible at the start. Everything you do is just amazing. Even your mere presence is wonderful enough for me.”

“Hyung.” Kyuhyun muttered, as his tears wet Sungmin’s chest.

“But do you know what makes me the most happiest?” Sungmin smiled as he gently lift Kyuhyun’s face which is now fully wet with tears. He gently caress the younger’s face,  wiping it away, but the action only made more tears flash like a waterfall on Kyuhyun’s face.

“What makes me happiest is seeing you smile. You have no idea how much wonderful it feels just seeing even a bit of smile from you. So if you really want to make me happy, just let me love you because no matter how much painful the heartaches are, the happiness you gave me are worth it. I lo-“  “-Hyung.” Kyuhyun stopped Sungmin, fear of hurting the other gnawing him inside. But Sungmin didn’t hinder and smiled even wider as he continues. “I love you Kyuhyun.”

“Hyung.” He kissed the other’s forehead as he feel Kyuhyun’s hug tighten on his body, his limp body trembling from the tears. “I’m so-“

“Oh gee I’m hungry. You should treat me! It’s my birthday you know.” Kyuhyun slowly look up at Sungmin who was now smiling like sunshine as if nothing just happened. “Yah if you don’t want fine, you’re such a cheapskate! I’m just going to ask your boyfriend at least his more generous.” Sungmin continued to babble as Kyuhyun stay stilled at his spot.

“Hey Siwon your boyfriend is ignoring me.” Sungmin pouted, and Kyuhyun still stood at his spot not comfortable at all of this. Siwon seemed to notice it because he swayed forward to the young man to caress the other’s back. “Hey are you fine?” Siwon asked with so much gentleness. And as Kyuhyun show a small sincere smile at the tall man’s touch, Sungmin’s heart sobs but he smiled nonetheless, knowing even if he can’t have his only wish, he could make Kyuhyun’s wish for him come true, because despite of the pain, falling in love with Kyuhyun is the best thing God had given him. 

>> I promise that you wouldn't even see Siwon (well maybe his shadow xD ahha joke ) in my next fic, or atleast ihe wouldn't be the 3rd party har XD ahha