Chapter 19

 

You shut the door to your apartment and let your back rest on it. A familiar clicking sound filled the air.

 

You had scared Kyung Soo’s mother; showing up that late at night. She thought you were a crazy homeless person. She invited you in for tea. Apparently Kyung Soo comes from a pretty wealthy family. His family did not live in a mansion, but his family were not struggling by any means.

 

You were able to talk to Kyung Soo. He had heard half of what you said at the door. You two talked for an hour and a half. You waited for Kyung Soo to say something after you had completely explained yourself.

 

“I love you, Da Eun…”

 

“And I know you have feelings for me too,” Kyung Soo went on to say.

 

“I wish I could be like those girls who tell their boyfriends they love him, cook them elaborate meals, and wear pink-”

 

“Pink doesn’t look good on you.”

 

You scoffed and waited for Kyung Soo to continue.

 

“I think we should take a few steps back.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I think we should take a break. I don’t want to rush you into a relationship you aren’t ready for.”

 

You came back to reality.

 

Most girls in this situation would have called their girlfriends and had a sleepover or at least stock up on ice cream and junk food and eat their sorrow away. You were a big girl. You have dated three guys. The first probably doesn’t count since you two were five.

 

This time, however, you simply went through your nightly routine. You got a shower, fixed yourself some calming tea and curled up with a good book.

 

It almost did not even feel like you two had broken up. You were just ‘taking a break’, you thought as you turned off the lights and placed your book to the side.

 

The days passed and life was pretty normal aside from not seeing Kyung Soo outside of school. Seven days later, you felt yourself crashing. You looked in your sink and realized there was nothing in there. You checked your refrigerator and realized you had not had a proper meal in days. The only things in your fridge were bread, butter, and juice.

 

You felt your eyes tearing up and before you knew it a few tears were making their way down your face.

 

“Why am I crying?” you asked yourself out loud.

 

Then a rush of emotions flooded into your memory.

 

Moments when Kyung Soo and you were cuddled on your couch….

 

Moments where  you two were laughing…..

 

When he picked on you for not being able to eat kimchi without getting something on your face..

 

His laugh…

 

His worried face….

 

Then it hit you.

 

You could not say you loved him because you didn’t. However, you did have strong feelings for him. He was your safety net who was always there to comfort you. You cared about what he thought of you and you wanted to make him happy.

 

The pain in your chest was not heartbreak but is was a pain that drew your body inward and made you feel cold and sick at the same time.

 

“Kyung Soo…."

 

Since that night, you realized that you needed to do something for yourself. So you started taking morning walks.

 

 

You also tried to take knitting classes but quit when you realized it was boring (for you anyway).

 

You were presently surprised when Nick invited you to a friend’s house to play videogames. You had not spoken to him in weeks. Apparently he had been out of the country for work.

 

“The only games I’m good at are dancing games,” you warned.

 

“It will be fun. The guys don’t get too competitive,” Nick added.

 

“Will there be food?” you asked.

 

“Of course,” Nick said assuredly.

 

“Then count me in.”  

 

“We can meet here Saturday at 5:30.”

 

You met Nick outside of your apartment at 5:27. You had forgotten to do laundry so you found yourself wearing jeans and one of Kyung Soo’s shirts that he had left behind months ago. The shirt was long sleeved and smelled just like him. You tried to push Kyung Soo to the back of your mind as you stood waiting for Nick.

 

Nick came out of his apartment looking like he was about to walk down a runway.

 

“Do you not own normal people clothes?” you ask critically.

 

“Do you not own anything that is remotely stylish?” he asks back.

 

“It’s a laundry day,” you mutter.

 

You two took a taxi to his friend’s house. You two kept up a friendly banter on the way. On the way there, the driver made a sharp turn which caused you to slide right next to Nick for several seconds.

 

“Maybe you should not forget to put on your seatbelt,” Nick said before reaching past your shoulder and buckling you in.

 

“You know I could have done that myself.”

 

Nick looked down at his phone and pretended he didn’t hear you. You simply rolled your eyes and readjusted the belt.

 

 

 

You stood awkwardly at the front door with Nick until the door opened. It was the guy from last time.

 

“Taec” Nick said before shaking hands with the extremely muscular man.

 

“Hey, man. It’s good to see you. I see you brought the party,” he said gesturing to you.

 

“I’m expensive. You’ll need to pay me by the hour.”

 

“I thought it was a flat rate. I guess you’ll have to go back,” said Nick jokingly.

 

You perked up as your nose caught a whiff of something hot and fattening.

 

“Pizza?”

 

“It just arrived,” said Taecyeon.

 

You followed both guys into the fairly large apartment. There were a three other guys and one girl.

 

“Hey, this is Da Eun,” Taecyeon announced.

 

Each person one-by-one greeted you with a smile. There was Woo Young who was absorbed in his hand phone. The girl’s name was Min. She seemed like such a tomboy. The guy wearing a V neck was Junsu and the guy’s name was Amber.

 

“That’s an odd name for a guy,” you said.

 

“She’s a girl.” stated Min.

 

“Well that clears that up.” you say. You quickly apologize but she just laughs it off along with everyone else.

 

You followed Nick to the pizza and grabbed a slice.

 

The night got less awkward (for you anyway) as time went on. You realized you had a lot in common with Junsu. The games, on the other hand, were what you imagined they would be. You lost pretty much every game. To everyone’s surprise, including your own, you were a beast at Halo.

 

After playing a few rounds of mario golf cart, everyone decided it was time to move on.

 

“Alright, alright. It’s time to play some real games,” Min yelled amid the chatter of everyone else as she made her way to the kitchen. You stopped talking to Amber  and Taecyeon.

 

Nick and Wooyoung were talking in the corner.

 

“Real games?” Taecyeon asked.

 

“I never,” Min stated as she pulled some soju out from one of the cabinets..

 

“Sounds fun!” Junsu remarked.

 

“I’ll start us off,” Amber began after we had cleared the table and Min had returned with shot glasses.

“I have never smoked a cigarette.”

 

Amber and I were the only ones who didn't take a shot.

 

“Next!” Amber shouted.

 

“I’ll go,” Junsu began. “I have never dated someone outside of my nationality.”

 

Taecyeon, Nick, and Amber take a shot.

 

“Okay, my turn!” you call out.

 

“I have never drunk dialed an ex.”

 

Nick, Junsu, and Taecyeon drink.

 

This went on for a while. Everyone went from sober to pretty buzzed. You could even feel the effects of the alcohol slowly kicking in.  Min, being the petite girl she is, was already drunk.

 

“I have never…” Wooyoung starts, “had a crush on someone in this room.”

 

You look down at your drink hesitantly.

 

“If you hesitate, then you probably should probably drink,” Amber mentioned to you, even though she said it to everyone.

 

You take a drink. You look to your right and notice Nick putting down his empty shot glass. Min’s glass is empty as well.

 

“My turn,” Nick states.

 

“I have never had inappropriate thoughts about my neighbor,” says Wooyoung.

 

You can feel your face turning red. Taecyeon gives Nick a knowing look as if he is in on something I’m not. You take a shot along with Amber, Nick, and Wooyoung.

 

“Who was the guy Amber?” Junsu asks.

 

“His name was Justin. It was back in high school. He was a football (soccer) player. He would take a nightly run. The sweat would just glisten on his body...”

 

“Who knew you were such a girly girl,” Taecyeon replied.

 

“I can appreciate perfection when I see it,” Amber said defensively.

 

“I think it’s Da Eun’s turn,” Junsu replied.

 

“Okay…..I … have never tried to break up a friend’s relationship.”

 

Taecyeon laughs and takes a drink. So does Nick.

 

“What happened?” Min asked as she leaned on Taecyeon’s shoulder.

 

“My friend was dating this girl who cheated on him. She cheated on him every Thursday in the art room of our high school.  When I found out, I took the girl’s cellphone and set up a date with both my friend and the guy.”

 

“That could not have ended well,” you replied.

 

“It did for him. The other guy went home with a broken nose.”

 

“What about you, Nick?” Wooyoung asks.

 

“What?” Nick says shocked.

 

“I saw you drink too. What did you do?” Wooyoung asked.

Taecyeon looked a bit worried for some reason.

 

“I’ll tell you about it later,” Nick answered.

 

“No, I want to hear it now!” Min said a bit too excitedly.

 

“I have another one!” Taecyeon yelled.

 

“But-” Min whined.

 

“I have never-”

 

“I have never told someone outside of my family and friends that I loved them.”

 

You look to your right. Nick has a serious look in their eyes. You quickly down your shot. The alcohol really starts to kick in.

 

“Alright, I have never slept with someone I clearly was not interested in just to make someone jealous,” you spit out.

 

“I don’t think it was your turn-”

 

Nick takes a shot too.

 

“I’ve never fallen in love with my neighbor.”

 

The room falls silent.

 

Nick takes the shot and glares at you. “Well?”

 

“Nick, that’s not how you play..”

 

The ride back was a far cry from the ride to Taecyeon’s apartment. You two sat on opposite sides of the cab. Nick tries to apologize but you refuse to acknowledge him.  At the end of the ride, you wait for Nick to pay for the ride since you paid for the ride there. He just sits there.

 

“Well?” you ask expectantly.

 

“Will you look at me?” Nick asked.

 

“Are you going to pay the man?” you ask.

 

“Only if you look at me.”

 

“Fine,” you say. You take money out of your purse, hand it to the driver, then get out of the vehicle.

 

“Da Eun, wait!” Nick calls back. You storm through the lobby and get into the elevator. You push the close button repeatedly only to have Nick slide in at the last minute.

 

“Da Eun, I’m sorry.”

 

“Sorry? For what? I thought you wanted that to happen. If you wanted to know all of that stuff you could have asked me.”

 

“You know I couldn’t. you wouldn’t tell me.”

 

“Yes I would. Ask me.” You demand stepping closer to Nick, closing the space between you two.

 

“Do you love your boyfriend?”

 

“I don’t have a boyfriend anymore.”

 

A thoughtful look graced Nick’s face.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“No you’re not. You didn’t like him.”

 

“Neither did you.”

 

“No, I did. Just because I didn’t love him doesn’t mean I didn’t have feelings for him.”

 

The elevator bell rang and the doors opened.

 

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that,” Nick replied.

 

You took a deep breath.

 

“Okay. We both said some bad things, you more than me. We can just chalk this up to us being slightly intoxicated.”

 

“Right,” Nick agreed.

 

“We can just forget this happened.”

 

“Fine with me.”

 

You two said your goodbyes and went into your respective apartments. Your thoughts, however, refused to focus on anything but what happened between you and Nick tonight. You couldn’t sleep. A part of you hoped that Nick couldn’t sleep as well.

 

Next week, you decided to meet up with a study group to prepare for the test on Friday. You planned to meet with Jun Hee and Jung Ah at the Thai restaurant close to your apartment. You were surprised to find Kyung Soo sitting with Jung Ah and Jun Hee.

 

Everyone sat down at a table in the back. You continued to cross and recross your legs; left over right and right over left. The environment was a bit odd. You were sitting beside Kyung Soo while Jun Hee and Jung Ah sat across from both of you. Papers were laid out across the table as well as pencil without erasers and pencil sharpeners.

 

“Why are we studying here again?”

 

“Because I’m hunger and this place is pretty good, according to Da Eun,” Kyung Soo answered.

 

“Wouldn’t it have been more convenient to meet at burger place? I love burgers,” Jung Ah whined.

 

“I’m sure you have had a burger before. Have you ever tried Thai food?” Kyung Soo asked.

 

“Only when I was little. I hated it then,” Jung Ah remarked.

 

“Well maybe it will be good this time,” Jun Hee interjected. She slid her chair a little closer to Kyung Soo.

 

“Jun Hee is right. Thai food is very good,” you added.

 

“I like this place,” Kyung Soo replied.

 

“Yeah,” said Jun Hee, “It’s like a mom and pop restaurant. My grandparents own the largest mom and pop restaurant in Busan.”

 

“We should start studying,” Jung Ah said trying to change the subject.

 

You pick up your pen and slide your paper over to Jung Ah. “So what answers did you get for this question?”

 

Jung Ah looked over at your sheet. “I got something different. Kyung Soo-ah, how do you solve these questions?”

 

Kyung Soo looked at your sheet and her’s before responding. “Da Eun’s on the right path. Your math is wrong though.”

 

You look back at your paper and correct it.

 

“We should order something!” Jun Hee said in a high-pitched voice.

 

“We haven’t gotten much work done,” you reply.

 

“Food will help!” Jun Hee answered.

 

“Yeah!” Jung Ah added.

 

“It couldn’t hurt,” Kyung Soo chimed in.

 

Jung Ah called over one of the waiters and placed our order. You looked around the room, slightly annoyed, and froze when your eyes fell on Nick. He had on a petticoat and was dressed for the cold weather that lingered outside. Your eyes quickly jumped away but something told you he already knew you were there.

 

You forced your eyes on your homework. You worked and reworked another problem but found yourself stumped as you could not remember the fourth step. Jung Ah and Jun Hee were gossiping about the couple sitting next to us which only left Kyung Soo to ask. He was checking his phone.

 

“Kyung Soo, I need help with this.”

 

Kyung Soo looks up and leans over the table since you are sitting on the other side.

 

“I’ve tried working it by multiplying this” you quickly gestured to the first part of the problem, “but I’m not able to figure out what to do with-”

 

You stopped when Kyung Soo reached over and tucked a stray hair behind your ear.

 

“This is a tricky one. You’ll need to solve for the derivative before you can multiply the other part of the equation.”

 

His hand grazed yours as he took your pencil out of your hand. He began working it out for you before handing you your pencil back.

 

“Oh!” you said embarrassed. You could feel the red spreading on your face.

 

“You can solve the rest.”

 

You glanced to the side, without thinking, and saw Nick staring at you. He didn’t even try to hide it. He then says something to the cashier and heads in the direction of the bathroom.

 

“I uh have to go to the bathroom,” you say before standing up and leaving the table.

 

You follow closely. You stop in front of the door of the men’s restroom. You did not think Nick had moved that quickly. You turn around to retreat and bump into someone. When you look up, your eyes meet Nick’s.

 

“Why are you following me?” he asks.

 

“I know what you are thinking but it’s not that. We are just studying. He’s helping me.”

 

“Why are you explaining this to me. It’s not like I care what guys you hang out with.”

 

“I know it matters.”

 

“Look I’m not obsessed with you. All of my thoughts don’t revolve around you,” Nick said harshly looking away from you.

 

“Well...what if mine do.”

 

Nick looks over at you questioningly.

 

“Ever since...for a while now...most of my thoughts have been about you. I had a dream about you the night before Kyung Soo and I broke up. There have been nights where I could not sleep because I was thinking about you. No matter how much I want you out of my mind, I can’t get you out. You’re like a virus.”

 

“A virus,” Nick asks with a tilt of his head.

 

“A virus that I can’t find the cure for. You’ve made me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time.”

 

“Well what do you want me to do?” Nick asked.

 

You hold on to his shoulders for leverage and kiss  him. Your lips begin to move and so do his. You can feel a sense of release but also something else at the pit of your stomach. You pull back.

 

“That didn’t help. I’m sorry,” you say quickly as you walk into the women’s bathroom.

 

You stand facing the mirror and splash water on your face. Your hands are shaky.

 

“What did I just do?”

 

The door bursts open and Nick enters. Before you can say anything, you feel his lips crashing into your’s. They are warm and inviting. You open your mouth as he has done the same. His kiss is strong yet it isn’t forceful. You two find a rhythm and follow it. Your hands cup the sides of his face. Nick pulls you up so you are sitting on the counter.

 

You two only stopped five minutes later when you two heard gasps coming from the direction of the door. You rest your forehead on his chest and smile. You feel his chest go up and down as he laughs.

AN//////:  I did it. Okay, so life is happening. I began teaching right after New Years at a middle school. I’ve been crazy busy or crazy tired since then. There have been several comebacks since my last update. I have become OBSESSED with VIXX, particularly N. He is the love of my life. I’m probably thinking about him 25% of the time (55% school, 20% sleep). This chapter is long but I thought you all deserved it for sticking around. THANK YOU! I hope the beginning and middle weren’t a bore. I’m trying to set up for the next chapter. I adore the ending. I was worried about writing the ending because I wanted it to be perfect but I think it kind of is. I’m going to have an epilogue like chapter next, as a gift to you all. It will be sweet and lovely and painfully cute. I hope you all are doing well. I’m going to update the Zelo story sometime soon (hopefully). I'll proofread the story later. I am still making a few mistakes here and there. I apologize if it interfere's with the readability of the story. Thank you for reading, subscribing, upvoting, etc. I hope you all are doing well and having a wonderful 2014 and I will see you in the next chapter. I can’t believe it is coming to an end. :’(