~Something Called FAME~

08- I'm Sorry

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Ten people gathered around Sunny’s hospital bed, of which none of them dared to utter a word. The atmosphere in the white, pristine hospital room was gloomy and depressing. Even Yoseob, the mood maker of the group was too stunned to say or do anything. But, it was expected of them to be like this anyway…

Silent but slightly amused, Sunny stared at all ten individuals, waiting for one of them to speak up first. She had finally come to terms that she had leukemia a few days back and she decided to tell 4Minute and Beast, except Junhyung, about her illness. Sunny felt that they deserved to be informed for they did do so many things for her in the past. But, she could only hope that telling them this news would not be an extra burden. As for Junhyung, Sunny had only come to a decision after much consideration. Over the past few months, Junhyung had progressed from an enemy to a very special person whom Sunny treasured a lot. She had also figured that maybe, she had a small crush on Junhyung. Who wouldn’t? That guy is hot, talented and nice! So what if he is a little hot-tempered? No one is perfect right? So anyway, Sunny decided to hide the truth from Junhyung because she wanted to spend the next few months with him as per normal before she leaves the world. She did not want Junhyung to pity her and treat her as if she was some weakling or something.

‘Unnie! You’re going to seek treatment right! You will definitely get well soon!’ Hyuna said in a rough voice as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. It was obvious that Hyuna was trying to convince herself that Sunny will not die when deep down, she herself knows the undeniable truth.

‘To be honest, I’m not planning to seek treatment…’ said Sunny softly as she braced herself for the explosive reaction she knew would come next.

‘You are ting me right! How can you not go for treatment?! Sunny-ah, I’m telling you, you had better go for treatment, araso?!’ Kikwang shouted as he waved his arms in the air, exasperated.

‘Kikwang, watch your language.’ Doojoon, the leader berated Kikwang half-heartedly. No doubt, all his happiness faded away when Sunny revealed her illness to them. ‘Sunny-ah, listen to oppar, accept the treatment. The treatment will help you recover faster,’ he said soothingly.

‘Aniyo. I have already made up my mind. I’m not going for treatment.’ Sunny said in a determined tone. She had already come to a decision and nothing is going to change her mind now.

‘B-but why?’ Hyuna spoke up again, her face wet with tears.

‘Don’t you guys get it?! I don’t want to go for chemotherapy! I don’t want to end up having no hair, I don’t want to end up all dead and lifeless! Have you seen chemotherapy patients? They all look so tired and weak…I don’t want that to happen to me…I d-don’t.’ Sunny shouted, her voice cracking as she started crying. At that sight, all ten of them were even more saddened. The Sunny whom they all thought was strong and invincible, was finally defeated by cancer. Without saying anything, Hyuna leaned forward and enveloped Sunny in a hug, while softly patting her hair.

‘There’s still bone marrow transplant, you know? All hope is not lost.’ Dongwoon stated.

‘What are the chances of me having a suitable donor?! And the waiting list is long too! Have you forgotten about that?’ Sunny said as she tried to hold back more tears. She did not want to appear weak in front of others nor did she want their pity. At that, no one knew how to respond and so all they did was surround her, hopefully comforting her with their presence.

That day was indeed a horrible one. A strong girl broke down, hope was lost and all they could do was wait for death to come knocking on her door.

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Still kept in the dark, Junhyung visited Sunny as much as he could. After that dreadful revelation, 4Minute, Beast and Sunny had come to a compromise that she will stay in the hospital in exchange for not receiving treatment and not telling Junhyung about her illness. Junhyung had noticed that his fellow group-mates were rather gloomy and sad for the past few days but he decided to brush it off as the effect of stress. After all, their manager has been stressing them constantly for their upcoming comeback.

‘Sunny-ah, when will you come back? I swear, without you, the dorm and practice room has become so disorganized and messy! We have been surviving on take-out for the past few days, I really miss your food!’ Junhyung said with a pout as he peeled an apple for Sunny.

Choking back tears that were about to surface, Sunny answered gruffly, ‘Not so soon, Junnie. Mianhae, the doctor still wants me to stay in the hospital.’ I’m  sorry for lying…but I really can’t tell you. Forgive me…

‘Oh, it’s okay! Just focus on recovering soon! Beast and 4Minute are all waiting to welcome you back with open arms!’ was Junhyung’s cheerful reply as he continued peeling the apple.

‘G-gomawo.’ Sunny’s voice cracked as her tears flowed, she wasn’t successful in hiding her tears this time round. Startled, Junhyung abandoned the apple and comforted Sunny.

‘Gwenchana? Why are you crying?’ he asked softly as he slung an arm around Sunny’s shoulders and whispered soothing words into her ear.

‘I’m just really sorry for shirking all my responsibilities…that’s all.’ Another lie.

‘Aww, that’s okay. We all understand. It’s all Doojoon’s and Dongwoon’s fault that you have to be hospitalized. If anyone were to be blamed, it’s them. Don’t worry, alright?’ Junhyung replied. Not able to speak, Sunny nodded her head. It’s not their fault, Junnie. It’s all because of stupid leukemia…

‘Alright, stop crying now okay?! I will cry if you won’t stop!’ Junhyung said lovingly as he brushed away her tears. His heart hurt to see Sunny like this and at the back of his mind, he could not help but wonder why. Am I falling in love with her?  

I should stop crying and spend the remaining time I have left with Junnie and all my other friends fruitfully. I don’t have much time left…I’m going to die.   

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Author’s Note:

HI EVERYONE, I UPDATED AGAIN! Hope y’all like it! I didn’t have to go to school today and will not be for the next 3 days, so expect more updates coming your way! :D Anyway, I’m starting to think that I’m a fail at angst lol. Ok so that’s it for now, please comment and subscribe! :D Thank you~