Chapter 7: You're Beautiful

Yonghwa and Seohyun put on conspicuous glasses and baggy t-shirts and hats from the restaurant as their idol disguise. When they revealed the disguises to each other, both laughed. So much work just to walk down the street and not get attacked by fans, or worse, anti-fans.

“You look like an architect student working part-time,” Seohyun told him.

“You look like a library ahjummah with those glasses and that hair,” he chuckled. She had tucked her long hair up into the hat, making it look like she had a short bob. “Come on, let’s go.”

They left their friends and went out into the neighborhood as regular people. The street had become emptier since they had arrived to eat, and now, there were only a few people who passed by. None of them looked twice at the two of them. The only thing that would have made this better, other than being able to wear better clothes, was if Yonghwa could reach over for Seohyun’s hand and hold it or put his arm around her. He wished he had enough courage to ask.

Seohyun chuckled cutely to herself.

“What?”

“This reminds me of old times a bit. We used to walk everywhere during our filming.”

“Ah, I know. We were so uncool, we didn’t even have licenses.”

“I got mine before you,” she teased. “Oppa got his when it was too late.”

“But who’s now driving the van?” he teased back, nudging her with his shoulder.

“The same person who’s running over every pothole in Seoul.”

“Jashik,” Yonghwa smiled widely at her.

It was natural when they were alone, more natural than he had expected when they had first spoken on the phone and agreed to meet. They walked in a comfortable silence, him purposely bumping into her shoulder and her retaliating with a bump against his. They eventually stopped, but Yonghwa kept stealing glances at her. He wondered what she was thinking in that moment, the thought that was making her look like an angel.

“Hyun, you’ve become so beautiful,” he blurted out.

She visibly blushed. “Annio. I look the same as before.”

“You were beautiful then too, but these days, no man can take their eyes off of Seohyun. Something’s changed.” Yonghwa left out that fact that he was one of these men.

Seohyun shrugged. “My unnies are prettier, right? They help me a lot.”

“Jashik. Don’t give them all the credit. You’re doing fine on your own. You’re really beautiful.”

Seohyun was quiet and refused to look at him. Did he ruin everything just now?

“Does me saying that make you uncomfortable?” he asked sincerely.

She pouted her lips like a duck, the way she usually did when she was contemplating something but didn’t answer or speak.

“Mianne,” he apologized. “I guess I got too comfortable."

“It’s fine, Oppa,” she watched her shoes as they walked. “I don’t mean to be so awkward. It’s just been a long time.”

Indeed it had been. Maybe if he found out why, it would be easier to get over the wall she had rebuilt since they had been away from each other. Things were easier when they were alone, yet more difficult. They could be themselves and not worry about what others would think and if the episode would be successful, but now they were too worried what each other had to say and what it would mean for them.

It didn’t matter. If he still had feelings, putting up his own wall wouldn’t help.

“Hyun, what happened to us?”

“What?”

Yonghwa shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked a rock in his path. “Why did we stop calling? Why did the texts stop?”

“I was busy, and I knew you were busy, with the drama and after the drama. With everything. The time in between grew so long, I didn’t know if you still wanted to hear from me,” she replied.

“I thought the same, so I never called either,” he confided. “The drama. You said you’d support me. Did you watch?”

“Dae, of course. I watched well,” He noticed right then that Seohyun lowered her eyes. “I forgot to tell you at Niigata.”

“How’s your acting coming along?” He knew that she was studying theater in college and wondered about her progress. He hadn’t heard any rumors about it, but he hoped she’d be able to experience both the joys and hard work of a drama set.

“Not so well,” she admitted with an embarrassed grin. “I’ve auditioned for a couple of things. My biggest criticism is that I’m unnatural. I can’t get the emotion of the scene correct. I need to work harder.”

“Yeah, it’s difficult to be natural with someone you barely know, right? But with acting, you’re not yourself. You’re the character.”

“I know that.”

“Then whatever the scene asks you to do, don’t think ‘How should I do this?’ but, ‘My character would definitely do it like this’,” Yonghwa explained.

They turned the corner into an empty narrow alleyway. A moment of brilliance flashed for Yonghwa, and he slowed his walk. It would either get him slapped by the innocent maknae of SNSD or do just want he wanted.

“I’ve known. Since the beginning,” he said quietly in a controlled voice.

“Huh?” Seohyun turned around in confusion.

He leaned against the wall of the alley coolly. “That you were a woman. Now that you’ve revealed it, I’ll claim you as mine.”

Now Seohyun looked thoroughly puzzled. He now approached her, moving into her personal space and backing her softly into the wall. He placed his hand near her head and leaned close.

“Oppa, what are you doing?” she murmured in fear. He braced himself for a slap but it never came.

He leaned in for a kiss, then in all seriousness said, “Go Mi Nam.”

Seohyun’s face did at least three different expressions before pushing him away. Yonghwa burst into laughter. He laughed so hard his glasses almost fell off of his face.

“Oppa!” she whined, her face astonished by his joke. “That was so mean!”

He couldn’t stop laughing, but she began laughing too, muttering aigoos and shaking her head back and forth.

“Good acting?” he asked in between breaths.

“Terrible acting. That’s not even what you said in that drama,” she playfully shoved him. “Ugh, aigoo!”

“Jashik. You liked it!”

“Babo! Ugh, you’re such a choding.”

“I’m a man, Hyun,” he snickered, trying to pat her on the arm. She pushed him away again.

“Fine. Yong Oppa is a cruel man. No wonder Go Mi Nam didn’t choose you.”

They kept going back and forth with each other, laughing, until they relaxed in took in the freedom of being normal. Things felt perfect with her at his side, even if he hadn’t really confessed and wasn’t holding her hand or cradling her with his arm.

They walked further in silence, arm to arm. She tipped her hat lower and he replied to a text sent from his brother. When they rounded a couple of corners, Yonghwa spotted a young guitarist setting up to play on the corner. His guitar case was open to collect money, and Yonghwa had memory flashes of CN Blue’s time in Japan as nobodies playing on the streets, hoping that someone would stop and take interest. Now, they had fans worldwide. People who loved them without knowing who they really were or without ever having seen a concert. He felt bad for the guitarist, but he also envied him greatly.

“Cruel Man Yong,” Seohyun’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Is that the store?”  

On the corner across the street from the guitarist, the store illuminated the rest of the block. It looked welcoming, but it would probably be closing soon. It was almost 11 o’clock at night. Where had the time gone?

“Oh, Dae. Come on.” He ushered her across the street.

Yonghwa and Seohyun moved quickly in the store. The lyrics, You don’t know (oh oh), You don’t know you’re beautiful, echoed somewhere from the store radio. They picked out packaged dry fruits and nut mixtures, and Yonghwa paid the saleswoman hastily before she looked too close at his face. He knew everyone would complain about the snacks, and he wished he could’ve gotten an ice-cream pop or some candy, but he dutifully followed her health suggestions.

By the time they left, the street guitarist was beginning a new song. It was an English song Yonghwa had heard a couple of times but didn’t know the name or the singer.

The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinkin’ that we almost had it all.The scars of your love they leave me breathless. I can’t help thinkin’ we could’ve had it all, the guitarist belted out in perfect English. His voice was untrained but was really good and raw.

He must be Korean-American or something, Yonghwa mused. Seohyun told him that her unnie Tiffany sings the song in the shower all the time. They admired him longer from a far, and Yonghwa wished he could go over and join him.

“That used to be you.” Seohyun smiled at him.

“That still is me,” confessed Yonghwa. Seohyun looked at him curiously. “Playing for both love and survival.”

“You’re surviving well.”

“Some days, I wish I could go back to pre-debut days,” he told her quietly. “Where I could play on the street and people would just keep walking past. No one would notice me.”

“If people are walking past you, how can you show them your passion for music?” asked Seohyun. “It’s no secret that I’m a Boice.”

At this confession, they both smiled widely at each other.

“I’m happy that when you walk down the street as yourself, people notice.”

That meant a lot to him, that she would say something like that. It made him want to work harder and become even better in her eyes. Her sparkling eyes that he wanted to see only him and no one else.

“What if,” he hesitated, dropping his voice, “I wanted to walk down the street hand in hand with someone. Wouldn’t I get punished for it?”

“When the right time comes, you can hold hands with whoever you want, and there won’t be a punishment.”

“Seohyun, something tells me there’ll never be a right time.”

She looked up at him with those sparkling eyes and said, “There will be.”

Fine. If she was so certain, he wondered how certain she’d feel if he were to tell her right then and there that he wanted to hold her hand. Now was as good as any time. Soon, they would be back with their friends, and the night would be over. He would have no more chances.

“Hyun—“ he started, but Seohyun was preoccupied once again.

“Gogumas!” she squeaked, pointing across the street excitedly.

Yonghwa followed the direction he was pointing and laughed. An elderly man selling fresh steaming hot gogumas on the opposite corner of both the store and the guitarist was packing up. He was removing three gogumas he apparently hadn’t been able to sell. It was too warm out to eat them, but there was no way he was going to deny Seohyun of her favorite food. Maybe it would rekindle more of their time together. They were the Goguma couple after all.

“Hyun, how does my disguise look?” he asked, fixing himself as if her face was a mirror.

“Still like an architecture student,” she confirmed.

“Good. Stay here. I’ll be back.”

He wandered over to the corner and paid for two gogumas. The man didn’t recognize him but acknowledged him all the same. “Your girlfriend will surely love this tasty treat. Enjoy.”

“Kamsahamnida, Ahjusshi,” Yonghwa bowed then returned to Seohyun, who was happier than he had witnessed all night.

“This is so tasty!” she raved as they began their trek back to the restaurant. “We’re so lucky!”

He almost believed her.

A/N: Super long chapter [edit: Not really]. I basically crammed 4 conversations into this. I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. Hmm… Next update sometime next weekend? Hopefully it’ll be shorter than this one :P  Things are loosening up between them so expect spontaneity in future chapters. Thank you so much for commenting for those or have or continue to do. Thanks to those who continue reading. And thanks to those who give the story a chance by clicking on it.

 Ps: If you’ve seen or read “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist”, they have a soundtrack, but it’s really a bunch of random songs that happen through the night. With this story, the same thing is happening, but the songs or little snippets kind of reveal what’s happening to Yongseo and those around them. But of course they don’t know that.