-02-

“You’re shaky today,” Jong Hyun noted, “anything wrong?”

Collecting the soaked tissues from the top of my desk, I quickly discarded them in the nearby thrash can and frowned a little as I threw a look at the sample article I had just printed out a few seconds before spilling my unfinished cold and rather yucky-tasting coffee on it.

“No, it’s just that I didn’t sleep a lot last night, that’s why... Sorry....” I apologized and dropped in my chair, covering my face with my hands tiredly.

“You should take a break for the day, Min Ji. I mean, just look at yourself.” I felt Jong Hyun hover nearby and I pulled my hands away from my face, glowering at him. “Is that yesterday’s t-shirt you’re wearing?”

I rolled my eyes. “If you’re going to be a jerk, Jong Hyun, drop it. I’m seriously tired and you know I can’t afford to take a day off, regardless of whether there is anything to do or not.”

Jong Hyun chuckled, ignoring my rather unpleasant attitude and response and instead, he strolled over to my desk and pushed the keyboard of the computer back a little so he can sit on it. I raised an inquiring eyebrow at him which he did not take into account. Instead, he seemed to be lost in thought temporarily and I wondered what was going on through that reasonably big head of his. It was not like Jong Hyun to be lost in thought often. He was quite the air head.

The start of my day had been shaken abruptly by my ringing alarm clock that seemed to be louder than usual. Ji Sun was still deeply asleep, despite the ringing alarm, and she had only stirred gently as I tip toed around the small apartment. I had only realized that my sleep must of been very short and probably troubled judging by the puffy eyes and the faint black circles which I managed to hide behind a gentle layer of foundation I had taken from Ji Sun’s bottle. Like the previous day, I had just barely scraped it inside the journalism department and Jong Hyun had been sitting there, a gloriously patronizing smile on his face.

“You’re annoying me, Min Ji,” Jong Hyun said at long last as he broke away from his deep thinking.

I looked at him, my mouth gaping open. “What?! But I’m not even doing anything to you!”

“That’s the thing!” Jong Hyun exclaimed, a hint of exasperation laced to his voice. “You’re not doing anything! You’re not making any sarcastic remarks, you’re not reminding me how you’re wearing yesterday’s t-shirt because you’re on a tight budget and you’ve not pulled me off your desk. What is wrong, Oh Min Ji?!”

“Ssh!” I hushed Jong Hyun, well aware that a few nearby students were very much interested in our conversation. “Lower your voice down, you jerk, don’t let the whole campus know!”

It was Jong Hyun’s turn to glower bitterly at me and I then knew the joke was long over. He hopped off the desk and stalked off (rather childishly) to his office. I looked after him for a few brief seconds, rather outraged at his reaction before I sighed loudly and shook my head.

Rolling my chair back towards my desk, I looked at the now dry surface of my desk and proceeded to review the sample page. I didn’t necessarily mean to annoy Jong Hyun but I never really knew he could get annoyed with me overall; frankly, I believed he liked pestering me even more on days when I seemed grumpy. I didn’t blame him for walking off like that, though. If I were to talk to a tired, shaky and moody Oh Min Ji, I’d probably slap myself. Frowning, I rubbed at my eyes gently and tugged the keyboard closer, settling on working on some new articles freshly arrived and waiting patiently in my inbox to find their place in the school magazine.

“Get up. We’re going out.”

I looked up from my work, not even ten minutes into it, and saw Jong Hyun holding out my jacket, waiting. There was no frown on his face, no smile, no emotion of any sort and I noticed how odd this sort of Jong Hyun looked to me. He was the opposite to the bubbly, all over the place boy I had learnt to deal with in the past few weeks ever since I had began the fall semester.

“But I still have work and—“

“You’re my subordinate, aren’t you?”

Ouch.

Yes, I was Kim Jong Hyun’s subordinate and no, I did not like the way he phrased it. Responding to him with the same bitterness, I had- nonetheless- grabbed my jacket from his grasp and quickly slipped it on then wrapped my scarf around my neck.

“If Victoria comes,” he announced to no one in particular, “tell her I went out.”

“Have fun,” one of our colleagues which I recognized as Kim Dae Min called out rather cheerfully.

I turned to her and raised my eyebrow. “Uh, don’t give it much thought,” I mumbled and tugged out after Jong Hyun.

We walked side by side in complete and utter silence. At most times, I was a big fan of peace and quiet but I was not sure how to react to this particular silence. Not only that, but I was clearly aware of the fact that Jong Hyun did have a car and he could of taken some time off work by driving around town rather than having us walk through the awful autumn air.

I had then come to the conclusion that Kim Jong Hyun was a triple jerk.

Once, for being so snappy with me for no apparent reason.

Secondly,for calling me his subordinate which, mind you, did not make me feel better about myself especially since this ‘subordinate’ job barely helped me keep up with my costs or at least, provide me with some entertainment.

Thirdly, for having us walk at the slowest pace ever in the bitter cold just because his trench coat was probably worth three varsity jackets put together- not to mention Kim Jong Hyun had gloves. He was evil and vile and I wanted to throw a fuss if it wasn’t for us being so openly in public and it would be very unlike myself to just throw a strop.

Despite my (temporary) resentment towards Jong Hyun, I felt thankful when he turned to open the door to Starbucks. In my quick decision making, I hoped my debit card was not completely empty because that would be absolutely embarrassing and being liable to Jong Hyun was not exactly nice, I supposed.

“Go sit somewhere. I’ll get us coffee,” he instructed.

“But—“

“You can pay me later.”

I nodded slowly then quickly walked away from the queue, not really wishing to anger Jong Hyun any further; if angry was what he was at the moment.

The table I chose was a table for two near the window. I had fallen in a sort of day dream but everything I was seeing before my eyes, well, my mind’s eye, was hazy and unclear. It had been a while since I last allowed my thoughts to wonder because it was not often I sat idle, doing nothing. I was doing everything and anything but left to its own devices, my mind followed my yearning heart and I had lost all sense of what span of control I had over my thoughts. Inching forward on the table, I gazed outside at the rather dull movement across the square; very few people were out and those that were hardly hung around as they rushed to their destinations. The quiet, private atmosphere of the cafe seemed daunting then and I sighed, a shaky sigh.

I thought back to the previous night almost detesting how easily things still affected me. Over the course of less than twenty four hours, I had let the situation engulf me, drowning myself in past emotions that I hoped were buried deep, in some forgotten corner of my heart- or a dusty, unglamorous box under my bed. Unconsciously, I smiled a small smile and almost patted myself on the back.

Congratulations, Oh Min Ji, I told myself, you managed to trick yourself into a full life, trying to forget your empty one. And a record time as well!

University had consumed most of my free time and I had purposely taken up two jobs in order to occupy the apparently overwhelming memories of Kris that seemed to be more affluent and more vivid by the day. I frequently questioned myself whenever I had tried to even as much as picture his face in my head, how I had managed to construct such deep memories of Kris despite our short lasting relationship. An answer was not given to me by my soul, nor my heart, nor my mind. My only sanctuary was amongst people, amongst livelihood and Ji Sun (even ego-filled, jerky Jong Hyun) provided me with it- an invisible cushion which, I feared, would burst at any given minute because, after all, we were under the same sky, in the same city. But Seoul was big- what were the chances, anyway?

A sudden rush of cold air made me shiver a little as the nearby door of Starbucks opened and I snapped out of the daze. Jong Hyun, as I saw from where I was currently sat, had just one person in front of him but he was soon blocked out of sight by a group of boys. Reaching for my only possession that actually helped me appear more like a young adult with some money, I searched through my monogram tote bag for my mirror- the wetness of my eyes was hard to ignore and I did apply a humble layer of eyeliner previously in the morning. But what my fingers grazed upon was not my small compact mirror but rather, a badly folded glossy piece of paper. I swallowed and at my dry lips.

The hardly familiar feeling of nausea crept upon me and within seconds, I shot up from my seat rushing towards the direction of the toilet. Once reaching a quiet corridor of the restrooms, a choked sob escaped my covered mouth and my vision turned blurry.

I had tried too hard to fool myself into thinking Kris was a passing phase in my life. I had tried too hard to oppress the thoughts of him, the memories, the desire of seeing him again and holding him. I was missing Kris like a child missed their blanket and I felt absolutely low once I pulled away from the toilet bowl, using the sleeve of my jacket as tissues to wipe away the salty, bitter tears. The forceful push I was giving myself to be full grown rather than taking baby steps through the process of adjusting had tired me out, I noticed once I splashed cold water on my face.

But big girls don’t cry, I chanted continuously, you can’t cry anymore.

By the time I had stepped out of the restroom, completely tired and drained of what energy I had left, I was pretty certain Jong Hyun may have been halfway down finishing his coffee. I was not watching my step, instead staring at the marble floor, and knocked rather strongly against a rushing person. I looked up as hands reached out to steady my near fall.

“Oh my God,” I mumbled and felt more flustered than ever, “I’m so very sorry! My apologies—“

“No,” a deep voice replied and I looked up, heart unknowingly picking up a pace, “it’s my fault, are you okay?”

I looked at the owner of the deep voice. A hood threw a shadow over his facial features and I was half hopeful, as impossible as it was, that it was him. But as the male, too, looked up a little, the light was cast over his face and the amount of disappointment I felt was unbelievable. Kris didn’t have big, smiling eyes or a huge smile or- from what I could recall in the magazine photo- brown hair. I forced a smile and stepped back as the boy’s hands dropped from my upper arms.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I smiled politely, “I’m sorry, again.”

“No worries, really,” he nodded. “Take care next time, okay?”

I nodded, blinking a few times. “Sure thing.”

And I walked past him after offering a last bow- I felt pretty much like an . Jong Hyun, like expected, sat at the table, swinging his mug of coffee and I approached him slowly as though he would erupt in anger at any given second. But when I sat down, his gaze was much lighter, much more like the bubbly Jong Hyun I was so very used to. I offered him a smile and thanked him as I gratefully accepted my own cup of coffee.

“Sorry I took so long,” I offered after taking a sip from the warm liquid, “emergency.”

Jong Hyun snickered. “It’s understandable.” He sip from his hot chocolate- I guessed- and set the mug down. He looked at me long and intensely and I felt uncomfortable under his watch. “I’m sorry for earlier,” Jong Hyun apologized suddenly. “I didn’t mean to be like that but it’s so unlike you to be so quiet.”

“It’s fine,” I shook my head and smiled, “I shouldn’t have been such a pest, in that case. I’m sorry.”

Jong Hyun leaned forward a little, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “Anything in particular you’d want to talk about?”

Yes.

“No. Thanks but really, it’s just lack of sleep more than anything.”

We finished our coffee over banal talk mainly focused on things that happened around campus as well as just basics. I really did want to scrape the title of jerk I had previously given Jong Hyun because, as it turned out when we walked out of the cafe, he was pretty fun to have around and the lightness of the conversation covered the previous shattering of my facade that I had successfully managed to put up reasonably well. Thankfully, though, I was not that kind so as to remove the jerk title before his name.

“Frankly, I think you just need a man,” Jong Hyun claimed as we strolled through the square.

“Excuse me?” I choked.

Jong Hyun side eyed me then nodded, a smirk plastered on that face of his. “Yeah, honestly. You just need a man, Min Ji, admit it. I mean, come on, have you ever had a boyfriend before?”

Yes.

“What’s it to you?”

Jong Hyun shrugged and held his hands up innocently. “Just asking! Maybe you need to those cheesy sleepless nights to waste on the phone with a guy. I mean, seriously, Min Ji. You’re like, what, nineteen? And you’re single?”

I frowned deeply. “You’re making it sound like a bad thing. Look at yourself first. You’re nearly twenty two and you’re single.”

“It’s okay because I’m a guy and you see how easily girls throw themselves at me but you—Hey, wait! Where are you going?!”

I didn’t hang back to listen to Jong Hyun. His words were not with ill intentions but they were hurting me and they cut deeply. So I stalked off back towards the cafe in order to find my way back to the university. There was no surprise when I heard Jong Hyun rush up behind me. He was being a pest. As per usual.

“Hey, Min Ji, wait up!” Jong Hyun panted and grabbed my upper arm, pulling me back just as we reached the front of Starbucks. “Don’t tell me you took that seriously, right?” When he saw I did not respond but simply looked away coldly, he pouted stupidly but cutely nonetheless. “Aw, Min Ji... You know I didn’t mean any harm, c’mon.”

“Whatever, Mister Popular...”

Jong Hyun tried to fight back a grin, I could tell. “I can introduce you to some—“

“No thanks,” I rolled my eyes. “I’m good the way I am. You’re bruising my arm, though.”

He laughed again and I couldn’t help myself but laugh along. Kim Jong Hyun was a very odd person to which I had mixed feelings towards; he pretty much had me at wanting to kill him one second then the next, laugh along with him.

By the time I arrived home later that day, I felt much more light hearted but the heaviness of pressing emotions, feelings and surfacing memories were still weight down upon me. Flicking on the hallway lights, I yawned tiredly and kicked off my shoes before slowly walking further inside the apartment. Like the previous day, the overwhelming smell of homemade food took over and I smiled in delight.

“Ji Sun-ah?” I called, “I’m home!”

But it wasn’t Ji Sun that pulled up from the small, uncomfortable and unfashionable couch and faced me.

“Lay?!”

Lay smiled softly and nodded. “Hello, Min Ji.”

Author's Note: And so, the sequel kicked off a few days ago! :) I hope you are all enjoying it so far- don't mind the quick updates: I've only got 1 exam left. XD Yet again, thank you very much for reading/commenting!