I don’t know, but in my opinion, I’ve already done my part. I’ve reached out and tried making up to them and now what? I’ve got rude and cold treatment from everybody. I feel like I’m not even a member of the family already. This is worst than being bullied by the super mean girls in school. I cannot believe that my own children can out on me. I suddenly felt like I wasn’t able to raise them up well with manners and good values coz if they can do this to me, I’m so sure that they can or is already doing this to other people.

After that incident, I was lost all of a sudden. I don’t even want to go out of our dining area already for I’m so ashamed of myself. I know that I don’t have anything to be ashamed about, but I’m really devastated with our children’s attitudes. Out of all people, my six kids are the ones who made me feel like a total criminal and what’s worst is, I’ve only done one big mistake and that is, being a busy mother who wasn’t able to manage her time because a lot of things are being trusted to her and she doesn’t want to bring people down.

Well, I don’t have a choice but to get out of our dining room for I can’t stay there for the rest of the day. I feel so isolated the moment I went to our living room. Jiyong and the kids are playing monopoly while I’m just looking at them, full of envy and guilt. Actually, if you’re going to look at us, you can really tell that they are brushing me off for none of them even dared to ask me if I want to join, not even my husband.

“Jiyong” I called and they all looked at me.

“Where is Karielle?” I asked (I know that my youngest daughter will be the only one who will not around).

“Where is your sister?” Jiyong asked the girls and they looked around for nothing.

“She’s already here awhile ago dad…I even gave her a biscuit because she told me that she’s already hungry” Isabella answered and I stood up from my seat and started looking for my daughter.

Is this really normal for them already? It’s just a bit disturbing that they are not even giving a damn on Karielle when they already know that she’s not around. What if she went out of the house? That kid already knows how to open the door. There is a huge possibility that she tripped on sneaking out.

“OH GOSH!” I shrieked the moment I found my youngest daughter sprawled on the floor, inside the play room.

The moment I opened the door to the play room, I saw Karielle lying face down on the floor with her arms spread wide. She looks like she fainted or something and it really made my heart jump out of my chest.

“Baby girl!” I run towards her even though I’m feeling crap and totally not good at all.

“Baby?” I turned her, facing me and when she opened her eyes, I sighed in relief.

“What are you doing?” I asked while trying to calm myself.

“Sleeping” she answered and sat up.

“Baby…you’re not supposed to be sleeping here on the floor” I told her and she giggled.

“But it’s cold mum….I want cold” she said and I pinched her nose.

“You are totally the cutest baby EVER!” I told her and she just stared at me.

“You don’t have office today mum?” she asked and I scooped her up and we sat on the couch.

“Mum will stay here with you….all day…I don’t want to go to work” I answered and she clapped in glee.

“Karielle is happy now…mum is going to stay at home…with dad…Isabella unnie…Gabby unnie…DK unnie…Danny oppa…Russelle oppa and Gabrielle oppa!” she said without stop and I got really shocked for the last time I heard her talk, she still cannot pronounce Gabrielle’s name.

“Yes…that’s true…I’m going to stay here with all of you” I told her and she smiled at me.

“HAPPY DANCE!” she stood up on the couch and danced like crazy.

And there goes my worried and sad mood. Karielle never fails to make me happy whenever I’m upset. It’s also a good thing that she can’t understand some things yet, for if she can already understand everything, I’m so sure that she’ll out on me as well. Gosh! I can’t believe that I’m looking for someone who’s going to be under my wings when all I know is that my girls are with me as always, but with how things are going now, I know for sure that they’re already under Jiyong’s.

I don’t know how long Karielle and I stayed inside the playroom but the moment we went out, Jiyong is already cooking lunch and the kids are all in school (I spent almost three hours playing tea party with Karielle). It’s just so frustrating to know that my kids didn’t even say goodbye to me when they’re about to go to school already. Am I that bad? Why are they treating me like this? Actually, if you’re going to think of it, Jiyong has done worse things than this. He has forgotten our children’s birthday for so many times already and has skipped their parties as well, but our children didn’t even make it a big deal, rather, they forgive their father easily. It’s just so unfair.

“Hi babe” I said the moment I entered the kitchen.

“Hey” he said without even looking at me.

“Are the kids already in school?” I asked and that’s when he turned to look at me.

“Yeah…mmm…I already drove them there and I’ve just arrive a few minutes ago actually…I thought your sleeping” he said and I just smiled.

“Karielle and I got so absorbed in playing tea party…that’s why I wasn’t able to go down and see the kids off” I told him.

This is really awkward. I don’t even know why my husband and I are like this. Yes, I’ve been neglecting my husband nowadays as well but he shouldn’t act like our kids since he’s an adult and he should be the one telling them that being rude is bad and what they did to me during breakfast is totally off.

“Dad...what are you cooking?” Karielle pushed a chair beside Jiyong and climbed up to check what’s cooking.

“Your mum’s favorite…beef stew” he answered and I jerked up right away upon hearing what he said.

OK. My innards just flipped the moment I heard my husband’s answer. The way he said it is just so sweet and loving, that even if I’m annoyed at him for ing out on me, I can’t help but to forgive him already.

“MUM! It’s your favorite!” Karielle called out and I joined them.

“Really?” I asked and Jiyong glanced at me with a small smile on his face.

“Aren’t you going to work babe?” he asked and I sighed.

“Nope…I will stay here all day” I answered and he looked at me in surprise.

“Are you not feeling well?” he asked and I smirked.

“Jiyong…I have to fix things here…I don’t want our issues to go big anymore” I said and he sighed.

“I’m really happy that you’ll be able to spend time with us” he said with a smile on his face.

“Babe…we really need to talk later” I told him and he nods in agreement.

It seems like my husband’s head is already cold and he’s not that pissed on me anymore. Thing is, I know that our talk will be emotional once again and I haven’t prepared myself for that yet. Our family is now in ruins and I’m feeling guilty for I am the sole reason as to why we’re in this situation.  If only I can bring back the time, I will not even let my work get the best of me.

After a few minutes of cooking, Jiyong’s beef stew is already done but we can’t eat yet for he’s still going to fetch the boys in school and I’ve decided to come along with him and Karielle.

“This is a flower…this is a bear…this is dad….this is mum….this are my shoes…this is my ribbon….this is my seat” Karielle said while talking with her doll.

“She can really talk now” I told Jiyong while we’re on our way to the boys’ school.

“She’s more talkative than Gabby actually” Jiyong said and I reached for his hand and intertwined my fingers to his.

We don’t need words to apologize to each other because