“The past just won’t leave me alone… I guess I’m too charming to resist huh?”

Sitting at the balcony in the comfort of his home, Leeteuk smiled bitterly after his comment as he the smooth fur of his cat, which was grooming itself lazily whilst lying in a spot of sunlight that was shining on the tiled flooring. He was thankful that the house was empty when he reached home, for he did not want anyone to see his red eyes.

They will worry about me… That’s the last thing I want from anyone… Sympathy.

Since that fateful incident, he had learnt to rein in his feelings in order to appear strong. He was all Leejin had left. If he too crumbles, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen to his only sister. Being the pillar of strength for her was the only thing he could do for her at the moment.

Appa would have wanted me to be like this too.

Leeteuk had always looked up to his father as his role model. At work, his father was a successful politician who climbed his way up with honesty and hard work. A mayor who had helped his town prospered and flourished during his term. At home, he was a doting father. Actively participating in their lives, he had always found time for them despite his busy schedule.

He was also a gentle and caring husband, one that only spoke softly at his wife and never raised his voice at her.

Even when she did terrible things that put the whole family’s life on the line.

“Please yeobo! Please! I promise you this would be the last time!”

With a frown clouding the otherwise charming face, the man looked down at the sobbing woman at his feet. Some distance from them, their two children huddled near the far end of the living room. The older teen was holding the younger one in his arms, comforting the terrified child.

“So, Mayor Park? Have you thought it through? Are you going to settle it or do I have to settle it in my way?”

Jerking his head towards the source of the voice, Mayor Park eyed the tattooed man sitting comfortably on his office couch. Laughing at the mayor’s tense expression, the man gently his revolver with a sickening sense of affection. Just minutes ago, the gun barrel was pointed straight at the woman’s head.

“Why are you always doing this to us?! Haven’t Appa did enou-”

“Hush, Jungsoo! You must not speak to your mother in this manner. Mr Lee, please come with me.”

Cutting his son’s sentence short, Mayor Park Teuk Suk motioned for the tattooed man to follow him. Throwing a sinister grin at the sobbing woman and the two children, the tattooed man stuck his revolver back into the holster as he stood up. He instructed his two lackeys to wait for him at where they were before passing through the doorway where Mayor Park had disappeared through.

“Jang So Min! You better pray your husband doesn’t try anything funny, or you will be breathing your last soon!”

“My appa always lived up to his words! Ho-”

Covering Leejin’s mouth hurriedly at her sudden ourburst, Leeteuk’s body tensed up as he tried to pull her closer to him. Luckily for them, just as the pissed off man started advancing towards them, the tattooed Chief returned.

“Come on guys! Let’s leave Mayor Park alone. I believe his wife will have a lot of repaying to be done to him for paying off 10 million won for her!”

Their evil laughter echoed off the hallway as the three triad members made their way out. As soon as the Park family heard the slam of their front door, everyone heaved a huge sigh of relief. The woman immediately dashed towards her husband and leapt onto him, crying uncontrollably.

“Yeobo! Yeobo! Thank you so much! I-I-I knew you wouldn’t leave me in the lurch! I knew you would save me!”

“Calm down… Everything is fine now… Jungsoo, Leejin, are the two of you all right?”

“N-Ne, Appa.”

 “Kids… Kids… Omma is so, so sorry! I-I promise this would be the last time! Yeobo! I would return the 10 million won to you somehow!”

Comforting his young sister as much as he could, Leeteuk couldn’t help but send a glare in the direction of his trouble-making mother. However, his action did not go unseen by his father, who shook his head gently at him in a reproaching manner.

“I never believed in her words then. She was a compulsive gambler who would lie through her teeth just to gamble. Even I knew that her words cannot be taken for real! But… Why? Why did Appa believe her? How could he not see it?”

Pulling Teardrop up by its front legs, Leeteuk raised her up to eye level and stared deep into her emerald eyes, as if he could find the answer to his question within those green orbs. Smiling as Teardrops meowed at him with her eyes thinned out to a single line, Leeteuk cuddled her before continuing with the story which he could not tell anyone.

“A-Again?!”

A loud crash followed as the wineglass which Teuksuk held in his hand previously dropped down to the ground. Leeteuk too looked up from his seat at the dining table, where he was patiently tutoring Leejin on her homework.

It was barely 3 months since trouble last came knocking on their door, and now Somin was in a mess again. She could feel her son’s furious eyes bearing down on her as she took on a pretended fearful stance by the door, all prepared to launch into a wailing show if her husband should refuse to aid her.

Teuksuk loves me too much to leave me in the lurch. He will definitely help me. He easily parted with 10 million won the other time. After all, he’s a mayor and a businessman. He will definitely have the means to help me… As for the kids… I’m their mother! What can they do to me?

Confident that she would be able to pay off her debt again, Somin wasn’t too worried. She was a charismatic woman who knew how to make her devoted husband dance to her tune. However, what she didn’t know was that her husband’s bank account is now in deficit from feeding her gambling addiction.

“Ho-How much is it this time?”

“Oh yeobo! Yeobo! I knew you would not desert me when I need you most! I promise this would be the last time!”

“You said it would be the last time the last time round as well,”

Speaking quietly, Leeteuk’s temper was slowly reaching its boiling point. He was enraged that his mother was making use of the love his father had for her time after time. She was hardly a part of their lives, having spent most of her waking moments in the underground casino. Even when Leejin fell sick, which was something that happened very often due to her weak constitution, she would barely even spare her a glance or two.

“Jungsoo, Omma’s really sorry… I really tried! I tried my best!”

“Did you really? Or did you ju-”

“How much is it this time?”

“Appa!”

“Just tell me how much it is?”

“Not much… Just… Just a little more than the last time…1-100 million won…”

“1-1-100 million?!”

“Appa!”

Dashing forward to support his father whose legs had suddenly gave way from shock, Leeteuk threw a dirty look at his mother, who seemed just as shocked at her husband’s unexpected reaction. Instructing Leejin to get a glass of warm water from the kitchen, Leeteuk struggled to pull his dazed father onto a chair.

After a while, Teuksuk finally recovered from his shock. He silently got up from the chair and slowly walked into the study room, leaving his two worried children and trouble-making wife in the dining room. Crashing down onto the soft leather roller chair behind his desk after shutting the door behind him, Teuksuk set his spectacles down onto the table before rubbing the bridge of his nose tiredly.

How am I going to get 100 million won to help Somin this time? I’ve no more cash left after helping her pay off her gambling debts the last time round… Did she borrow money from that Lee Jangchul again? That guy is cold-blooded… if we don’t churn out the money for him, there’s no saying as to whether or not he would harm the kids…

“Appa? Appa… Are you all right?”

Jolted suddenly from his deep thoughts, it took Teuksuk a couple of seconds to recognize the source of the voice to be his son. Placing his spectacles back onto his nose, he gave his son the permission to enter the study room.

What greeted Leeteuk’s eyes was a sight that almost broke his heart into half. His father’s usually joyful eyes were now full of worries. Each forcing a tight smile onto his face in an attempt to ease the other’s anxiety, the pair of father and son stood in their respective position stiffly.

“Don’t worry, Jungsoo. Appa’s got it under control.”

“At that time, I really thought Appa had a way. He always did. No matter what cropped up at home or at work, Appa always had a solution for problems. He was like a walking problem solver. However, his solution went terribly wrong this time round…”

Stopping as the emotions of reminiscing those terrible days caught up with him, Leeteuk gave a heavy sigh. He smiled bitterly as he recalled the past events that had lead to his family’s predicament in this day. Once a happy and complete family, his mother’s addiction to gambling had torn the family apart.

Literally.

“Teuksuk, what do you mean everything?”

“The police will be coming soon. I’m sorry kids, Appa had let you all down.”

“Appa…”

“Hush, Leejin. Don’t cry… Jungsoo-ah, take good care of the family while Appa is gone, okay?”

“Ne, Appa… I wou-”

“Teuksuk! What do you mean by we will lose everything?!”

Ignoring the sentimental exchange between the father and his two tearful children, Somin was more concerned about the meaning behind her husband solemn statement. Without even looking up to face his unremorseful wife, Mayor Park proceeded to give each of his two children a tight hug before answering her.

“The house, all of our assets. Everything.”

“What?! How can you lose everything? Where are we going to stay now? Don’t you have any brains? Did you even think about what am I going to do?”

Somin’s screams faded into the background as Teuksuk took in the tear-stricken faces of both his children. He had finally given up on his unrepentant wife. He had done a terrible wrong this time. One which was even more severe than the 100 million won which he had cheated from the very town people who had trusted him so much.

He had failed as a father, bringing shame to the legacy that he would be leaving behind. They would forever be looked down upon for having a father who was a fraud, a liar. His distress was obvious to Leeteuk, who could clearly read his father poorly put up nonchalant face.

However, before he could move forward to comfort his father, the siren of the police car began ringing in the distance.

“I did not blame Appa for what he did. He was only trying his best to keep the both of us safe. I knew if he had any other ways, he would never resort to trickery. If he had to be blame, there was only one wrong that he had committed- He loved my mother too much.”

Setting Teardrop down gently on the ground, Leeteuk got onto his feet and walked over to the metal railings. He closed his eyes as he took in a deep breath, trying to calm his heightened emotions down. He did not want to be all red-eyed when Donghae and Eunhyuk returned home.

Omma was from a rich family… When she married Appa, her family disowned her for marrying down. That’s why Appa always gave in to her ways. He felt guilty for taking away the rich lifestyle that she was used to. That’s why Appa never complained when she spent ridiculous amount of money on stupid things…

Recalling his father’s words when he had questioned the older man about turning a blind eye to his wife’s actions, Leeteuk couldn’t help but feel that his father was a fool.

“My father was a capable man, but no magician. 100 million dollars is not a small sum of money that he could just conjure out of thin air. In order to raise that sum of money to clear my Omma’s gambling debts, he had no choice but to get it from the very town-people that he had been taking care of. Using a fake project that involved the construction of a recreational resort in the town, he managed to raise the sum of money.”

“Meow!”

Teardrop’s sudden meow interrupted his sentence. Leeteuk looked down and found his cat staring into the house, ears twitching as if she has heard something. Smiling, he bent down and pulled Teardrop up into his arms, her silky white fur before continuing with his tale.

“Yah, even if I am boring you, you have to listen to me. You should be honored! I’ve never told anyone this before. Like I was saying before, he got arrested when the whole scam fall through. Kind of silly of him if you ask me… How long can you keep the police off your track when you are supposed to build something in town? Either way, he was eventually charged with fraud and sentenced to serve 10 years behind bars.”

At this point, Leeteuk suddenly found himself unable to speak. An all-too-familiar heartache began from the left side of his chest, and started spreading all over his body through his nerves. It was a feeling that he had suffered through 2 years ago on the night when his father was supposed to report for his sentence.

“For his long service in the government, the county court had allowed him to come back home for one last dinner before he was to report back at the police station. However just before dinner, Appa suddenly said that he had something urgent to attend to and would be back within an hour before he left hurriedly.”

Pausing midway, a distant look crept into Leeteuk’s eyes as the events that happened on that fateful days unfolded in his mind’s eyes. With tears gradually filling up his eyes, he recalled every single detail of that night. The way his heart skipped a beat when the local police called them.  The emptiness in his mind when the three of them rushed down to the scene.

The shape of his father’s limp body underneath the white sheet that the police had placed over him.

“The police concluded that my father had committed suicide by jumping off the roof of the town hall to escape from the justice of his crime. No foul play was suspected as everyone believed it to be the case. The angry people from whom he had cheated money from even came around to the funeral to laugh in our faces.”

Continuing his story while petting Teardrop absentmindedly, he was still staring into the far distance. He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he did not even hear the soft thud coming from the living room. Behind Leeteuk, on the ground of the living room, was a girl in a high school uniform. The girl’s big, round eyes were wide with surprise as she held her hand tightly over her own mouth to prevent any noises from escaping.

She had been really worried when Leeteuk just suddenly took off. After searching the streets up and down to no avail, a tired Yonni finally decided to try her luck at his house. Just as she reached his apartment, she noticed that the door had not been shut properly.

Is oppa inside?

Without knocking, she inched her way into the house cautiously. Fearing that she might alert the intruder if there was one, she did not dare to make any sound. By the time she found Leeteuk in the balcony, the latter had already begun his story. Unable to find a suitable timing to interrupt, she continued to listen to his story with a growing sense of shock and sympathy.

However, when she heard the part where Leeteuk's father had committed suicide out of guilt, she was unwittingly struck by a sudden image of the still bodies of her parents. Stumbling backwards as her knees gave way from shock of the abrupt flashback, she collapsed onto the ground with a soft thud. Luckily for her, Leeteuk was too engrossed in his own memories to have heard her.

Op-Oppa’s appa committed suicide after being sentenced? Those three men from just now… Were they from oppa’s town? Were they the people that oppa’s appa had cheated?

"Naturally, we lost everything that my father had left behind. All of his assets were liquefied to pay off the money which he had conned from the fake project. Surprisingly, the proceeds from the sales of his investments and the house were enough to pay back all the debts. The most surprising thing was that the triad boss, whom my mother owed 100 million won to, did not return to pester us either."

It was indeed a blessing within all the misfortune that the triad boss seemed to have forgotten about the 100 million debts for there was absolutely no way they could have paid off that exorbitant sum. However, it meant that the family now had no funds to even support their daily needs.

“I took up as many part time jobs as I could after we lost the house. We managed to get a shabby little apartment which was going for very low rent, and by eating simply, we were able to get by. Though we continued staying in the town for I didn’t want my sister to have to suffer the stress of having to change environment. She had just recovered from the operation then…”

Poor oppa… Imagine having to take up the responsibility of taking care of the whole family’s expenses…

By then, Yonni had already recovered from her shock, and was sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest. Listening to Leeteuk’s story, she was reminded of how Auntie Yuri had to slog her guts out for the three of them and her drunkard husband. She felt that compared to Leeteuk, she was already much better off.

At least she didn’t have to work hard for survival.

“But, given the crime that my appa had committed, I was unable to get into any universities that were near my town. The news of my father’s fraud had spread to the neighbouring towns as well. Since I was already of age when the incident happened, my face was splashed all over the newspaper reports as well. Thus, nobody wanted to admit me into their school for fear of smearing their reputation. My mother wasn’t doing much to help the family either. She was still gambling away whatever money that she could get her hands on.”

Hmm… Oppa’s family is pretty similar to Ryeowook’s family, isn’t it? One is also working hard to make ends meet while another in the family does nothing to help alleviate the situation…

“We were not having a good time in town either. We were hated by everyone, and nobody wanted to sell anything to us. We could only do our groceries shopping in the more expensive supermarket. Even at there, the cashiers would purposely throw our stuff into the bags or drop them intentionally. At school, there were all sorts of horrible things that people say about us. But I just bore everything. It was my father’s fault after all. There’s nothing more that we could say…”

Hearing his seemingly uncaring words, Yonni’s heart wrenched at the pain behind them. She was also a target of gossips at school when she moved in to stay with Auntie Yuri. She knew how bad these words could hurt, not to mention those that Leeteuk had to suffer were much, much worse than those that she had been through.

“The final straw came when she stole the money that I had been saving up for her daughter to go for the overseas school outing that she really wanted to go… She knew that the money was not for her, yet she stole it… I finally gave up and took my sister with me when I received news that the university here had accepted my application. But wanting to leave the past behind me, I changed my name to Leeteuk, which was a combination of my father’s and my sister’s name before coming here. That is how I ended up here with you! Now, aren’t you glad that I came here? I know you are!”

Concluding his story with a feigned happy tone, Leeteuk picked Teardrops up and spun her around with a big smile on his face. However, he was just in time to see Yonni closing the front door quietly as she left the house. Pausing in surprise, the older boy simply stood there with Teardrops still in his hands. It was only when she began protesting by squirming then did he finally jolted out from his trance.

On the other side of the door, Yonni heaved a heavy sigh as she released her hold on the door handle. Listening to Leeteuk’s story had brought back bad memories from her childhood that she wanted to put behind her. Dragging her feet along as she made her way home, her head was filled with painful recollections.

You can hide as much pain as you want behind your mask that you put on. You can lie as much to yourself as you want, to tell yourself that those are nothing more than things of the past that had been long forgotten. However, all it takes is a small reminder to reopen those wounds…