When Sungmin switched on the lights, I shouted out, “SURPRISE!!!” He had his back to me, so I wasn’t able to see his expression, but he was slowly looking all around the room. Suddenly, Kyuhyun’s voice floated over, “What’s going on? Who just shouted?”

“Nothing!” Sungmin answered as he pulled me into his room, shutting and locking his door quickly. He then heaved a sigh of relief and turned to look at me as I stood by his door. I couldn’t read his face, the look was a somewhere between a smile and a frown.

Did I do something wrong?

“You… Don’t like it?” I asked as I rubbed my hands nervously. Sungmin looked around the room once more before sighing, “You did this all by yourself?”

“I had some help from a person… You like pink, so I thought I would… It was a bad idea, wasn’t it?” I asked softly, looking sadly at him. He gave me a small smile, “I like pink, but…” He paused and swept his hands across the bedroom, “Doesn’t this look exactly like a girl’s room? Throw in some laces, ribbons and teddy bears, I’ll become the princess of the house!” he said jokingly, with a cheeky grin slowly taking over his smile.

Now that I had time to think about it, it didn’t seem like a great idea anymore. Sungmin was right, I had overdone the makeover too much, forgetting to consider the fact that he was a guy even though he likes pink. “I’ll go borrow a set of bed sheets from Kyuhyun,” I muttered softly, drowning in self-criticism as I walked towards the door.

“Hey! Wait!” Sungmin held me back by pulling on my arm, “I pulled you in to save you from the agony of letting Kyuhyun see this, and now you are offering your head on a plate to him?”

So that’s why he pulled me into his room! Oh gosh, his EQ is really high, unlike my stupid, idiotic, senseless self. If Kyuhyun saw how I managed to “transform” Sungmin room, I’ll probably get laughed at till the end of my days. I looked at him admiringly, heart filled with gratitude. I must be wearing a ridiculous look for he burst out laughing, as he walked over to his bed. He ran his hand over the pink bed sheet a couple of times gently before sitting down on the bed.

“This is very nice to the touch! The fabric’s really comfy!” Sungmin exclaimed as he patted the spot beside him, motioning for me to take a seat. I sat down quietly, too ashamed to say anything. He chuckled loudly and patted my shoulders.

“Don’t worry, I like it! You must have spent a lot of effort in redesigning my room!” Sungmin said as he looked around the room once more, “But why did you choose this… this… pretty shade of pink?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought you would like this shade because your clothes are mainly in this colour…” I replied, staring at my clasped hands that were resting between my crossed legs. The bed shook as Sungmin suddenly stood up. I stared after him curiously, as he walked away.

“Do I look good now?” He asked as he suddenly pounced onto the pink wall, pressing his entire body flat against it. I burst out laughing at his ridiculous action. He was so sweet, trying to make me feel better by making this whole incident into a joke.

“I just wanted to help you repaint your room as an apology,” I replied after my laughter subsided, “But it seems like I owe you another apology now…”

“An apology?” there was confusion in his voice, as he detached himself from his concrete ‘shirt’.

“For last night,”

“Last night?” he repeated while trying to recall, sitting back down on the bed.

I bit my lips and hesitated. It is easy to say ‘I’m sorry’, but when it comes to admitting to your mistakes, the words always get stuck in your throat. I swallowed hard, “I… I shouldn’t have been so narrow-minded…” I waited for him to say something, but he just looked down at his legs and kept quiet. Silence was ringing loudly in the room.

“I… I’m sorry for stereotyping you, even if it was unintentional…” I continued. Then realizing that what I said was inappropriate, I corrected myself, “I mean it wasn’t unintentional… No! I mean I did not mean that intentionally… Wait, it still sounds wrong… I mean…”

Sungmin cut me off by raising one hand. I swallowed my words and shut my babbling mouth. Damn, why can’t I just do something right for once? Moments passed, and he still had his hand up in the air, but his originally open palm was now clenched in a fist, as if he was trying to control his emotions.

“Did I really make him that angry?” I wondered in my heart as I stared at him in silence. Suddenly, he asked in a soft whisper, head still down, “Why would you feel that you said something wrong?”

“Huh?” I was confused by his question. Why would I feel that I said something right when I had stereotyped him?

“Why did you think that what you said would bother me? I… I probably hear it many times before…”

“I… You looked hurt. I… I know I had hurt you with my stupid thoughts. No matter whether it was intentional or not, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have had that thought about my friend. I’m really sorry… Please don’t feel that I am a bad person..”

“You… You thought that I looked hurt?”

I looked away at the wall before replying, “Yes, you had a hurt look in your eyes, even though there was a smile on your face… It bothers me. I feel really bad because I had hurt you with my senseless opinion. What’s worse was that it was unintentional. I feel ashamed that I had stereotyped you just because you like pink…”

“It bothers you…” he repeated my words slowly, before giving a small forced chuckle, “You were concerned about how I feel…”

Why was he acting so strangely? I was getting a little annoyed. If he did not accept my apology, he could have said so instead of making fun of it! I was about to say something about my displeasure when he interrupted my peeved thoughts.

“You said I’m your friend…” his voice was quivering a bit, “You were concerned about how I felt…”

“He sounds weird…” I was thinking to myself as I looked at him again. He had already put his raised hand down, but he was still looking down at his feet. Why wasn’t he looking at me when I’m talking to him?

“Sungmin?” I laid my hands on his shoulders, then realised that he was shuddering a little. “Sungmin!” I stood up from the bed immediately and shook him a couple of times, trying to get him to look at me. Was he going to fall sick? Why was he trembling?

After my 5^th attempt, he finally looked up at me. However, the small smile that he was trying to force upon his lips could not hide the sadness in his reddening eyes.

I…

I made him cry?

I was so shocked to see him tearing up that I simply stood rooted to the ground with my hands still on his shoulders. “Sung… Sungmin…” I stuttered, not knowing how to react to a guy crying. What did I say to make him cry?

“Aigoo…” The smile that he was trying to conjure finally came up, “I think I must be getting a cold…” He sniffled loudly before continuing, “You must be tired out now. With all the refurbishing and cooking you did today… You better get back to sleep.” He brushed off my hand gently, pulled me up to my feet, and turned me around towards the door, trying to get me out of his room again, just like last night.

I stood my ground this time though. I struggled out of his soft but firm hold and turned back to face him. His eyes were getting redder now, with tears swirling slightly in his deep orbs, threatening to fall any moment. “Sungmin, what’s…”

He cut me off again by attempting to spin me around towards the door. I grabbed both of his hands, and held them with all my strength. I knew he was much stronger than I was and I didn’t want him to push my hands away. I was determined not to leave him all sad and depressed like this.

“LEE SUNGMIN!” I yelled in frustration, a little louder than I had planned. It worked though; he stopped pushing me and looked at me in surprise. I made used of the opportunity and pulled him towards his bed, making him sit down. Then I grabbed his study desk chair and settled down right in front of him.

Sungmin had his head down again. I shook my head, what’s wrong with guys and their issues with crying? Crying is a good way of letting off emotions, and I was determined to help Sungmin out. Obviously he was feeling horrible for whatever reasons, and I wasn’t about to leave it at that.

“You know,” I started, “I once heard this saying that regardless of gender, crying is not a sign weakness…”

“I’m… I’m not crying,” Sungmin interrupted without looking up, voice cracking a bit from his efforts of trying to swallow back those tears. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

Boys and their stupid ego.

“I didn’t say you’re crying,” I answered brightly, “Just voicing my opinions. Crying doesn’t mean weakness.”

“Men don’t cry,”

“Nonsense,” I chided softly, reaching out to pat his hands that were resting on his knees. “Men can cry. Anyone can cry. Even animals have tears,”

“Crying… Crying’s a sign of weakness…”

“Weren’t you listening to me? I just said crying’s not a sign of weakness. It just means that you… I mean, the person had been strong for too long. You should try it once in a while, it’s a nice feeling to cry and let it all out.”

I felt Sungmin tightened his grip on his knees under my hand when he heard me. I shifted over to the bed and sat down right beside him, keeping my hand on his. We sat there in silence once again as I patiently waited for Sungmin to release his pent up emotions.

Suddenly, I felt a droplet of water hit my hand.

Followed by a second one.

Then a third drop.

By the fourth drop, his body was jolting slightly with the sobs that he was trying to hold back. I reached out and held him in a soft embrace, with my arms wrapping around his shoulders as I moved one hand up and down his back gently, coaxing those long-awaited tears out not only from his eyes, but from that deep corner of his heart.

After what seemed like a few minutes, I felt him slowly calmed down as his body convulsed lesser and lesser. “I’m… I’m sorry…” he whispered as I felt him straightening up, moving out of my hold. I let go of him and looked around the room. I was looking for some tissue to pass to him, but he didn’t have any. “I’ll be back,” I told him before going back to my room to fetch my box of tissue.

When I went back into his room, Sungmin was standing by the window with a sad look on his face. I set the box of tissue on his study desk and pulled out a couple of pieces. Walking over, I held out them out to him. He took them with a soft thank-you. I stood beside him as he turned away to blow his nose. It must have been raining just now as the roads were wet. The street lamps also had small droplets of water dripping off at intervals, and with the street lamp shining on the droplets, they all look like glistening beads of rainbows.

“I’m not usually like this,” Sungmin said after he had calmed down completely. I raised my head and look at him. He was looking down at his feet again.

“There’s nothing wrong with crying, you don’t have to be ashamed.”

“It’s just…” he hesitated.

“Please don’t tell me it was because of this pink room!” I exclaimed in fake horror, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. It worked because he burst out laughing, “Haha… What if I said it was?” he asked cheekily, leaning against the window ledge as he turned his gaze upon me.

“Well…” I pretended to ponder very hard, “Well… If that’s really the case… I’ll repaint it for you tomorrow!”

“Tomorrow?” He gasped dramatically as he played along, “You mean I’ll have to sleep here tonight? This room will definitely turn me into a princess by tomorrow!”

“I’ll switch room with you then,”

“It’s okay, I’ll sleep here tonight,” he laughed, “But I’ll really have to repaint it tomorrow. Thank goodness it’s the weekend…”

“Oh! I’ll help! And don’t worry, I’ll try not to overdo things this time,”

Sungmin flashed me a bright smile, before looking out of the window, “It rained just now…”

“Yup,”

“I’ve heard people said that raindrops are the tears of God. I wonder why would God cry…”

“Because it cleanses. Crying cleanses the soul,” I said matter-of-factly.

“You really think so?”

“Look,” I said, pointing to the streetlamps, “Look at how clean everything is after the rain!”

Sungmin nodded as he walked toward his bed, sitting down again. I followed behind him and sat down on the wooden chair. “Feeling better now?” I asked as I moved my chair so I was facing him directly. He smiled, “Oh gosh…” he covered his face with his hands and spoke through his fingers, “I feel so embarrassed… Crying in front of you…”

“Oh come on!” I pulled both of his hands down from his face, “I should be the one that is embarrassed. Think about it, I just met you yesterday, and over these 2 days I probably already displayed all of my bad sides to you.”

“Oh ya?” he raised an eyebrow and smirked, “Like what?”

I shook my head, “Okay… Firstly, I shouldn’t have stereotyped you so quickly. I am a bad person who…”

He interrupted me, “No,”

“What?”

“You are not a bad person,”

“I banged into you, hugged you, made you cry… All those and I’m still a good person? I thought I’ll be going to hell…”

“I didn’t cry because you think I’m gay. Though you’re not the first to feel that way.”

“Hey! I don’t think you’re gay now!”

“I didn’t say you did,” He flashed me a small smile before standing up. He walked over to his study desk and picked up a small photo frame. He then passed it to me, and I took it from him gently. It was a family portrait, his family portrait to be exact. “That’s my family,” Sungmin said softly as he returned to his spot on the bed.

“This is your mum and your dad?” I asked as I examined the picture closely, “Is that your younger brother?”

He nodded, and I looked down at the picture once again. A younger version of Sungmin stared back at me. The picture was a little strange though, his mum and his dad was smiling very happily, with their arms around his younger brother, who seemed to be around 10 years old. Sungmin, on the other hand, had a forced smile on his face, and was standing rather awkwardly at the side, forming a stark contrast to the happy trio beside him. I looked back at Sungmin, feeling a little confused as to why did he choose to display such a awkward picture with his family.

“The picture looks weird right?” He asked, looking at me. I was contemplating whether to agree with him or to say something nice when he suddenly took the photo frame from me gently. He smiled and walked back to the study desk, where he put the photo frame back to its original place.

“This is the best photo that I have with my family,” he paused for a bit before continuing, “Yonni, you must have had a wonderful childhood right? Heechul seems like a loving brother…”

I smiled before shrugging, “I had to work very hard for that! Haha! He doesn’t open up that easily you know.”

“Work… Work hard for it? Siblings’ love runs in the blood…”

“Oh!” I laughed as I shook my head, “Yup, but too bad, Heechul and I don’t share the same blood, so some effort was needed! Haha!”

“You two don’t share the same blood?” Sungmin stared at me in shock. I grinned, as I pointed to myself, “An Yonni, Kim Heechul. Understand the link now?” Sungmin smiled as he slowly got the picture, “So was it your mum or your dad? For me it was my mum…”

“Your mum?”

“Ya, My mum remarried my stepfather when I was about 4 years old.”

“Sungmin-ah, I…”

Sungmin didn’t seem hear me as he continued with his story, “It wasn’t easy… My stepfather loves my mother a lot… I remembered he wasn’t happy about me joining the family though. It was my mum’s idea.”

It must have been hard for Sungmin to start talking about his past, and he probably started talking about it because he thought I was in a similar situation to his. Regardless, I decided to keep my silence and just let him pour out whatever that is on his heart.

“From what I knew, my real father and my mother separated when I was born. She never wanted to talk about my biological father. Anyway, she got to know my current dad when she was working in his company. When they got married, I tagged along and joined his family.”

He looked at me and I motioned for him to continue talking. He continued, “My younger brother was born about 2 years after they got married.”

“Your dad treated him well but ill-treated you?” I interrupted. Sungmin smiled and shook his head slightly.

“He didn’t ill-treat me… Just…” He paused again, looking down at his hand again. I stood up from the chair and shifted over to the floor, settling down at his feet so I could look at him. He would need my moral support to let all these out of his heart. He looked over at me as I sat down on the floor, eyes starting to get red again. I smiled at him and patted his knees gently, encouraging him to continue talking.

“Maybe because I’m not his flesh and blood… Maybe its just me… But… I never had a say at home… He always decided things for me… Where should I study, what I should eat for dinner, where I should go after school, which clubs or societies I should participate in school, what I should wear... He never cared for my opinions…” Sungmin gave me a sad smile before lifting his head to look around the room.

“He hated the fact that I like pink. From young, he always told my mum to keep me away from pink colour. That it will make me gay eventually… He painted my room back home brown. I hate brown… Its like mud was spread all over my room.” He made a gagging action before continuing, “If he’s here right now, he’ll probably have you thrown out of the house…”

I laughed, “Then I’ll sneak back in and paint HIS room pink! I hate tyrants!”

Sungmin laughed, then he looked at me with a weird expression that I could not understand. He was smiling slightly but he also looked confused. I was about to ask him what’s on his mind when he started talking again, “You know… Have you ever met a person whom you feel that you can tell them everything without having to worry about them judging you?”

“Hmm…” I pondered hard, “No, I never had the honor… Why do you ask?”

The smile on his face was almost shy as he looked down at his hands again, “Would… would you think I’m weird if I say I’ve met this person?”

“Really?” I asked, sitting straight up in interest. “When?”

“Yeste…. Yesterday,” Sungmin answered hesitantly, blushing a little in the progress. My eyebrows naturally went up when I heard his reply. I pointed to myself questioningly and he nodded, looking away in embarrassment. I looked down at my feet too, as a slight blush slowly worked its way up my face.

“You’re the only person besides from my household that knows I like pink. I… I never dared to show my love for pink in school. He said I would bring shame to the family…”

I didn’t know what to say. Sungmin looked like your average happy teenager. Who would have ever guessed there was such a sad childhood behind the smiles and gentleness? He continued, “But when you offered to help me unpack, I didn’t feel any sense of worry about you seeing all my pink stuff…”
 

“But I disappointed you,” I said sadly as I looked back up at him. He smiled and shook his head, “No, you didn’t. You felt bad about it! This shows that I was right,”

I smiled up at him, “From now on, you can just tell me anything okay? If I have anything I will also tell you! Since we have both already seen each other at worst.” We laughed at the same time. I could tell that Sungmin was feeling better as the smile on his face was of genuine happiness, and I was very glad that I was able to help him lessen the burden in his heart.

My eyes fell on the instruments that he brought back earlier, and Sungmin looked in the same direction at the same time I did as well. “Hey! How about I play you a couple of songs? As a form of gratitude for your counseling session?” Sungmin offered enthusiastically. In reality, I was getting rather sleepy as it felt as if I had spent a long time in his room. However, I couldn’t bring myself to dampen his good mood so I gamely agreed to his suggestion. Besides, I’m a er for music and is very curious about how well he can play.

Apparently, sitting on the floor and resting your head on the bed isn’t the best position for a sleepy audience for the last thing I remember was Sungmin playing “Love Romance” before I slowly drifted off into a deep slumber…