As I trudged along the darkened trail with Sungmin following behind me, my mind was in a whirl. On one hand, I was flustered because of Sungmin's unexpected confession. On the other hand, I was angry at myself for being so oblivious.

“An Yonni! You're the greatest idiot in the whole world! No wonder Kyuhyun always call you Pig-Ni. You really live up to your name!” I scolded myself in my heart.

Sungmin was following behind me very quietly. In fact, he was so quiet that his echoing footsteps were the only indication of his presence. I really wanted to turn around to check on him, but I did not know how to face him after his confession so I just kept moving on.

When I saw him earlier on, I had thought that he had came all the way to save me from being dragged to the deepest depths of hell by the evil lord. I really did not understand why it did not cross my mind that the person behind all these was actually Sungmin and Kyuhyun was just his henchman. I must be so blinded by the relief that I did not need to face the awkward situation of Kyuhyun confessing to me.

“How could you not realise? It was quite obvious isn't it? Why else will he ask you to drink the red wine? And you still thought it was a good idea to use Sungmin as an excuse to escape from Kyuhyun!” I was giving a good thrashing to myself as my feet entered auto-walking mode, “Now what are you going to do about Sungmin?”

Recalling the dialogues that we shared at the mountain peak, it was easy to see that the awkwardness of the situation arose from misunderstandings. When I said I couldn't believe he did this for me I actually meant that I could not believe he came all the way up the steep trail to save me from Kyuhyun. He must have thought that I was referring to the red wine and stuff.

When he said that he even lost sight of me once, he must be referring to the time when he thought that Ryeowook was my boyfriend, I foolishly thought that he meant that Kyuhyun and I were moving too fast.

I knew Sungmin was waiting for my reply, but I really did not know how to respond to him. I had never thought of anyone in this way before, and I was unsure as to how one should react in this kind of situation. Besides, the possibility of Heechul’s wrath if we did not get back within 20 minutes was preventing me on thinking about anything else.

Luckily, the walk home seemed much faster than the journey there, partially because I was too bothered to take notice of the spooky surroundings. With a deep breath, I entered the house, followed closely by Sungmin, who closed the door behind him. Heechul was sitting on the couch leisurely, eating white chocolate while keeping watch on the clock that was mounted on the wall. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were watching a program on the television while Auntie Yuri was munching on some titbits while reading a magazine.

“We’re back,” I said simply as I threw a tentative look at Heechul, expecting him to start chewing my head off for being out so late at night. Heechul put the pack of white chocolate he was holding in his hands down and got on his feet slowly. With agonising speed, he walked up to me and looked from me to Sungmin.

To my utmost surprise, he did not unleash his fury. Instead, he gave me a pat on my head and said, “Good, you made it back within 20 minutes. I’m going to bed. Goodnight,” before walking up the stairs. The next thing we heard was the sound of a door closing gently.

“Did you two have a good time?” Auntie Yuri asked cheerily as she looked at the two of us. I nodded slightly while giving Sungmin a quick glance. Unfortunately, he caught my eye and I felt my face reddening in a rush of awkwardness.

“I’m going upstairs and… take my shower,” I stammered as I turned and ran up the stairs as fast as I could, dashing into my room and shutting the door with a loud bang. Once in the safety of my own room, frustration immediately took over my senses. Feeling extremely vexed, I jumped into my bed, burying my face into my pillow before giving out a frustrated yell.

“I’m done for, I’m done for…. What am I going to do???” I thought in my head as I rolled around on my bed with the pillow covering my face. With my eyes closed, the scene from just now crept into my head secretly. Lowering the pillow, I stood up and walked slowly over to the window. In the far distant sky, I thought I saw two glistening lights.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with An Yonni”

That was what Sungmin wrote on his sky lantern. I can’t believe that Ryeowook was right about Sungmin and his feelings towards me. How could I have possibly missed it? I practically spend more than 12 hours per day with him, and I was unable to see what Ryeowook saw in less than a day?

“Well… Maybe you are eliminating the possibility! Look at how you are reacting now!”

“Maybe Ryeowook was right… Maybe I am eliminating the possibility…” I sighed as I recalled Ryeowook’s words earlier on at the start of our vacation, “Oh great… What am I going to do now?” I tried to calm myself down so I could think about the issue seriously. However, the more that I try to think about it, the messier my thoughts became, and the more confused I got.

In the end, I got fed up of trying to figure out my own feelings and decided to just let it be. “I’ll worry when Sungmin starts bringing up the incident again.”

I spent the last few days of the vacation avoiding Sungmin as I still did not know how to face him. I had been thinking about our relationship, but with no prior experience, I really have no idea what it was I felt towards him. Is it that of love? Or is it that of close friends?

After our tearful goodbyes at the train platform with Ryeowook and Auntie Yuri, I embarked on my way back to the city with a heavy heart. I was very unwilling to leave for two reasons.

One, saying goodbye to my guardian and brother was very hard. Especially when I know that after we're gone, Ryeowook will be all alone again. Not to mention I was leaving a place I had stayed at for 8 years for one that I had been at for a year.

The second reason, and also the most important reason, was that once we're back in the city, I knew I won't be able to hide from the problem of Sungmin. In the countryside, I still can stick close to Ryeowook and avoid being alone with Sungmin completely. But being both his housemate and classmate, who spends nearly 12 hours a day with him, how am I supposed to hide from him now?

I knew I had to start giving the issue some serious thought, something that I had been avoiding for the past week. Even if I didn’t have an answer, I would still need to find some way to face him. Wanting to delay our inevitable interaction for as long as possible, I pretended to fall asleep almost immediately after we got on the train, then repeating the same thing for the ride home. When we finally reached home, I went into my room and stayed in there for the rest of the day.

During a fast dinner with the boys which was prepared by Sungmin, Evil-Kyu was trying to get Sungmin and I to talk to each other. It resulted in an awkward and brief exchange of dialogue before silence fell again. I think even Heechul got suspicious of us for he asked Sungmin to accompany him to get something for the supermarket after dinner, leaving Kyuhyun and I alone in the house. After I finished cleaning up the dishes, I decided to approach Kyuhyun for help despite the possibility of getting teased to death by him.

“Come in,” Kyuhyun's voice came through from behind his closed door. I took a deep breath and turned the door knob slowly. I regretted my decision the instant I stepped into his room for he threw a smirk at me before turning back to his computer screen, “You finally decided to come settle the debt with me?”

“Do you know how much I wish I could kill you?” I sighed as I sat down on his bed.

“Don't worry, I get that a lot,” He laughed as he paused his game and swivelled his chair around, “So... What are you going to do to me?”

“What have YOU done to me?!” I answered exasperatedly, “You could have given me a heads-up first you know,”

“I can't,” He shrugged his shoulders with a helpless look on his face, “It was supposed to be a surprise!”

“It was a surprise all right,” I muttered unhappily, “I was so surprised I couldn't talk to Sungmin for days!” Then, raising my voice a little, I looked at Kyuhyun seriously, “What am I supposed to do now?”

“What do you mean?” He looked at me with a puzzled face, “You'll do what couples do normally after confession!”

“Which is...?”

“Which is either you kiss and hug each other all day long,” He gagged before continuing, “Or you hate each other and never talk ever again!”

“Mwo?!” I stared at him with my mouth wide opened, “What on earth are you talking about?”

He sighed and rolled his chair closer to me before answering, “Basically, you either accept Sungmin hyung, or you reject him! What's so hard about that?”

“The hard part is... When should I accept him and when do I reject him?”

“Seriously?” He gave me a stunned look.

“I mean... Under what grounds do I based it upon to decide?”

“Do you like him?”

“I-I don't know... I was trying not to think about it...”

“You were trying to not think about it?” Kyuhyun jumped up from his chair and stood in front of me with his hands on his hips, “Yah! An Yonni! What do you mean by ‘you were trying to not think about it’ ?”

“I... I just... Aish! Cho Kyuhyun! Why are you so fierce towards me?!”

“Why can't I be fierce?” He was beginning to raise his voice, “We're talking about my cousin here! Of course I'm angry!”

“Why are you so angry? I didn’t even do anything!” I shouted back as I got onto my feet. The atmosphere in the small room, laden with the growing cloud of anger, was getting increasingly tenser.

“That’s exactly why I’m pissed!” There was irritancy in his eyes as he moved closer to me, “It has already been more than a week… You should have already thought of something!”

“I tried! But…” I started explaining, but Kyuhyun cut me off angrily.

“But what? You decided you should just leave him hanging like this?!”

“No! I-”

“Do you even have any idea how horrible Sungmin hyung has been feeling all week?”

“Cho Kyuhyun! Do you think my week has been any easier?” Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes as our arguing voices got louder.

“Yah! Pig-ni! Don’t you cry! You should be more responsible! How can you be so irresponsible to not think about it?!”

“Don’t you dare ‘yah’ me! If you haven’t dragged me into this, I won’t have to-”

“Mwo?! So now it’s my fault?! Your inability to make decisions is my fault?!”

“Of course it’s your fault! You could have let me know in advance so I would know what to do!”

“You, you, you! This is all about you! What about hyung? Have you even thought about him?! I must have totally lost my mind when I agreed to help him! Look at you!” He held his fingers against his temple before yelling out, “I really don’t see what Sungmin saw in an indecisive idiot like you!”

“MWO? CHO KYUHYUN! Are you insinuating that I am a bad choice?!”

“I’m insinuating that I should never have been mistaken that you actually knew what love is,” The look in Kyuhyun’s eyes was that of irrational anger as he grabbed me by my shoulders before finishing his sentence, “And you’re not even lovable! Maybe that’s why even your parents don’t want you!”

I was rendered speechless as the emotional impact of his last statement hit me. The tears that were b in my eyes since the start of our argument finally hit its limit and fell from the corners of my eyes, hitting Kyuhyun’s arm as they slipped off my face. As the salty droplets hit his arm, it seemed to snap him back to his senses for he slowly loosened his tight grip on my shoulders.

As soon as his hands were off my shoulders, I gave him a hard shove and burst out through his door. I tried to control the sobs that were escaping my mouth as I ran towards my room, throwing myself onto my bed as I slammed the door behind me before I finally let loose the tears that had been pent up.

*~Kyuhyun’s POV~*

“I must have been blinded by anger… How could I say that to her?!” I silently cursed myself as I stared woefully at the door that Yonni ran out from just seconds ago. I scratched my head as I paced around my room, trying to devise my next step.

I felt really bad for my last statement. It wasn’t from the bottom of my heart, and was only said in a fit of fury. I was angry at Yonni for being unable to reach a decision, and I felt sorry for Sungmin, who was practically a walking zombie for the past week. When Yonni said that she had been trying not to think about Sungmin’s confession, I just snapped.

But when I saw her tears just now, I immediately regretted my words. “How could I bring her parents up?” I muttered as I walked past my bed for the fifth time, “I am a freaking idiot... She must be feeling so hurt now…” Finally, I decided that I should be a man and apologised to her. After all, Yonni was quite right when she said that I had caused her to land in this predicament.

When I opened my door, I could hear her muffled sobbing coming from behind her closed door. For every sob that I heard, the amount of guilt that I felt doubled. Walking quickly to the kitchen, I opened a can of canned peach and took out one piece before placing the rest of the can into the refrigerator. Then, grabbing a chopping board, I cut the halved peach into smaller slices before putting them into an ice-cream cup. Finally, I sprayed some whipped cream on top of the sliced peaches before topping it off with a piece of mint leaf from the spice rack.

Looking at my finished product, I was sure that this will suffice as a sincere apology for the peach-loving Yonni. Walking over to her room after picking up a dessert spoon, my feet hesitated in front of her door. I wet my lips and cleared my throat before knocking, “No-Noona?”

As I waited for her reply, I felt my face getting flushed. After all, it had been a long time since I used honorific on Yonni seeing as I stopped using them after we became friends. I never imagined I would be using it on her again. But, it seemed suitable in this situation. However, I received no reply, even though her sobbing softened.

“Noona, it’s me” I knocked again, trying not to drop the peace offering I was holding, “Can I come in please?”

More silence.

Damn.

“Noona,” I tried the knob, but she had locked her door, “Noona, I’m sorry. Please let me in…”

“Go away,” Her shaky voice shot back at me, “Don’t make another mistake of apologising to me,”

“Yonni noona…” I pleaded, knocking again, “Please let me in. I know I shouldn’t have said that… I didn’t mean it!”

“You didn’t mean it?” The gloominess in her voice seemed to have lifted slightly.

“No… It was just angry talk… It’s not my true feeling…” I answered trying to make my voice as apologetic as possible. I knew Yonni was quick to forgive, and if I pulled the right strings, she will forget the whole incident within minutes.

I must have sounded really remorseful for the next thing I heard was the click of the lock as the door unlocked. As the door opened slowly, Yonni, whose eyes and nose were all red from crying peered out from behind. I flashed her a small smile as I raised the hand that was holding the dessert, showing it to her.

I literally saw her eyes brightened up as they shot between the cup in my hands and my eyes. Slowly, she reached out for the cup and I knew that all was fine between us. This is a good trait of hers, but also it's also bad in a way. She trusts as easily as she forgives. It might really get her into trouble one day. But for now, I'm just glad it was working to my advantage.

“Look, I am really sorry that I said that just now,” I said as I stepped into her room, glancing at the messy bed before looking back at her, “I was just… Blinded by fury.”

She sat down her bed and sighed before looking at me, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have blamed you for it. It wasn’t your fault,” She dug into her treat.

“I was just… I was feeling…”

“I really did think about it… But I… I’m afraid… I really don’t know what it is I should be feeling…” she interrupted me before taking a mouthful of the dessert and continued, “Kyuhyun-ah?”

“Ne?” I stared at her as I sat down on her roller chair.

“What does love feels like?”

“Love? I don’t know what it feels like. Come to think of it, I’ve always been on the receiving end, but not yet the giving end,” I sighed dramatically before continuing, “I’m such a playboy at heart…”

Yonni chuckled as she sniffed and wiped her eyes using the back of her hands, “I know I should give Sungmin an answer instead of leaving him hanging there… But… I really don’t know what it is that I feel towards him…”

“What do you think of him?”

“He’s a nice person,” She smiled as she recalled about Sungmin, “And cute,”

“Do you like him?”

“I like him, definitely,” She nodded then pursed her lips, “But that’s where the problem lies…”

“You… Don’t know whether you like him as a friend, or there’s something special?”

“Exactly,” She nodded sadly as she set took another bite, “That’s why I’ve been unable to give him an answer… What if I rejected Sungmin, then realised that I actually love him? Even worse, what if I agree, but then realised what I feel is just friendship?”

Silence fell as the two of us slowly absorbed her words. Then, she broke the silence, “How’s he doing?”

“Not too well… He’s been so lifeless since you started avoiding him… He’s regretting confessing to you…”

She sighed, “Maybe I should reject him? But… I’m so afraid that I would hurt him! He’s been pushed away by his own mother… I…”

“He told you about his family?” I was shocked. Sungmin never liked talking about his family to anybody, and he had just known Yonni for less than half a year.

Yonni nodded, “He told me the same night I painted his room pink,”

“Wow,” I thought as I looked at Yonni who was finishing her dessert, “Sungmin is more serious about Yonni than I had imagined… This would end badly if not taken care of properly… I should intervene in case these two babos do something that will hurt themselves…”

“Kyuhyun-ah… What should I do?” She asked as she finished the last piece of the peaches, setting it down on the bedside table.

“Hmm…” I my chin, “Okay, how about this… I’ll ask him to give you some time so he won’t pressurize you. But, I need you to promise me that you will stop avoiding him.”

“Deal!” She held up her right pinkie, “I was just afraid that Sungmin might bring up the matter again when I’m not ready to give him an answer. If you’ll tell him to give me some time, I’ll gladly talk to him again!”

In the end, it was decided that I would tell Sungmin hyung to give Yonni some time to sort out her feelings while she played her part by re-participating in his life to lift his zombie curse. As I walked out of the room holding the empty peace offering cup, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was making the right decision.

Goodness. How am I supposed to choose between my cousin and my female best friend?

AISH!!!

I hate being caught in the middle…