Love is merely an illusion. An illusion the mind creates because it wants something to grasp and understand. It is a word used to simply cover up attraction. The physical attraction of a man and woman that love is said to bloom from. It’s fiction. All of it, love is merely a fairytale story told to kids before they go to bed.

I live in that illusion. In fact, it is my life. I sit for hours wasting away time that I could be spending with other people in the library. In the far off corner where no one goes, I'm getting lost in another world far more interesting than mine. It’s like my high. For a few hours, I can be something else and feel free of my own worries. I lived out fairytales that I wish to be my own, but all that ended bittersweetly.

Why?

Happy endings don’t exist. An end is never happy. The end to a relationship. The end of life. The end of the road. It was all depressing and all real. Real life is not a happy ending, it’s a continuous up and down roller coaster ride of emotions. Happiness merely being that straight line before the deep plunge of depression.

I picked out all of my favorites. A Walk to Remember, Romeo and Juliette, Jane Eyre…

Death and bittersweet endings.

Call me twisted, but these are the stories that I enjoyed reading. They spoke to me because my own parent’s love story was a tragedy.

“Without suffering, there'd be no compassion.”
― Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember

I’ve suffered, but know not of compassion. I’ve not once had the feeling to help someone else because I felt bad for them. Why should they get help when I suffered alone?

I clicked my feet together as I read over the lines that truly put a smile on my face.

“Your love is like the wind...you can't see it, but you can feel it...”

-Nicholas Sparks

I’ve yet to taste what love is, and I wasn’t counting on it anytime soon.

“Oof.”

The sound of a male’s voice had me look up to meet eyes with him. SuHo. He was one of those flower boys that belonged in some drama. He was leaning forward and I noticed that he had tripped over the stool. I covered my lips as a smile was forming and suppressed my laughter.

“Are you okay?” I whispered in amusement as he straightened up and turned into the corner on my aisle.

“Yeah…I’m fine,” He rubbed the back of his head with a cute pouty expression.

I was one of those girls that had a hopeless crush on the school’s heartthrob knowing that we’d never be together. He was just that kind of guy, I supposed. I turned back to my book as he began to scan the shelves. Slowly, he came towards me lowering himself down to his knees and crouched down beside me. I froze on my page and didn’t move an inch as his arm brushed mine. I felt him looking at me amd felt a light tap on my shoulder, “Umm, I need a book behind you.”

Damn. Well, what was I expecting really? Can I sit with you? Don’t we have class together?

Yeah right. In my dreams.

I pushed up my glasses and apologized, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

I moved a bit as he reached behind me to grab his book. His hand grazed the small of my back and I could feel the heat just rush to the upper part of my body.

“Thanks.” His voice was so soft and happy. I could only nod in response as I hid my blushing cheeks as he sat down in front of me, “Mind if I sit here with you?”

Was this a dream? Did he really just ask to sit with me?

“Be my guest.”

I looked up at him and what a mistake that was. His face up close was the same as looking at a sculpture of a god. His facial structure was beyond gorgeous and his eyes putting me in a daze. He smiled at me in a way only he could which had my face start to heat.

We sat in silence which was fine to me. It was always quiet while I read, but I could tell by the way he constantly moved around that he was uncomfortable with it.

“My name is SuHo by the way.”

I know your name. We have history class together, but it’s not like you ever took notice of me; however, hearing you say it is enough for me to let out my inner fan girl.

“I know who you are, we have history class together.” I chuckled dryly as I turned my book to the next page.

“Oh, right.” He said in a knowing tone, but I knew he didn’t know my name.

I shook my head with a smile, “My name is ___.”

The light in his eyes flickered as he gave another amazing smile, “I knew that.”

I rolled my eyes, only he didn’t see, “Sure you did.”

The conversation died after the awkward introductions. Though his eyes never once looked to the book, they constantly wandered to me, to my books, and to our surroundings. What was he thinking?

“Have you read all of those before?” He pointed to the stack of books beside me, reading off the titles while I shut my book.

“Yes, I have.”

His sudden firing of questions had me use an annoyed intonation. What suddenly brought on this interest with my interests when only a few seconds ago he didn’t even know we had the same class? Nor my name?

“Okay, okay. I was just asking. I mean why read these books over and over again when you have a lot more to choose from? Why go back to the same things?”

Why was his questions so in depth? Why did I feel like he wasn’t just asking about the books? There was more to his words and I had trouble reading between the lines.

I sighed, “When you find the ones you like, you just don’t want the story to end, I guess, and you want to keep on reading it. When you find the one you like, you just stop looking for another.”

When we met eyes again, that feeling hit me, ‘When you find the one you like, you just stop looking…’

It felt like all the other guys that I came to like up until now vanished and all that was left was SuHo. The characters in my love stories suddenly became him with just that one glance. He became Landon, Romeo, Noah, and prince charming.

I quickly gathered my things to get away. My mind was racing with new thoughts and new ideas. I took one last look and smiled at him as he looked up at me.

There was no need for goodbyes. This wasn’t the end.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

HELLO

back again with this story...I just loved it so much.

Tell me what you think okay!?

T.T I feel so connected with you guys when you do hahaa