-Jonghyun’s room-

Jonghyun POV

Ya..............Shin Se Kyung, do I actually love her? Does she even like me? Argh...........I really don’t know? ..........................Don't know?...........

She is beautiful, y, talented, innocent and sweet-looking...................everything a guy  will want in a girlfriend but.................I just feel that there is a barrier between us.  She felt like someone I can’t reach or own even if I tried my best.

Every time we were together, she looks very happy but I know it is all faked smiles she has on her face.  Why? ..................why are you always trying to distant yourself from me, Se kyung?  Am I the only one that feels that way? Do I not give you a sense of security? Am I not someone you can trust and depend on?

I guess the reality is that girls are always dreaming about meeting a prince charming that is handsome, rich, knowledgeable and humorous; one that is able to sweep them off their feet but is there really a perfect guy on earth? I doubt so.

I am really tired of pretending to be a perfect boyfriend; a person that is really romantic and caring. I totally can’t act as myself in front of you. Is it because I cared too much of what you think of me? But why do I have the feeling that I am trying too hard to please you rather than enjoying all the moments I shared with you?

Se kyung , why can’t you be more like key?........... Key? ......... Yah................why am I comparing her with key? That’s crazy..........but......... ..but ....... ....Key is special, isn’t he? He is not only your bestfriend, Jonghyun, you know that. He is someone closer than your family; thinking of him makes you felt safe and peaceful right. It gives you a warm feeling like the summer sun that heat up the universe.

Even though he always complains that you are too sticky and irritating but whenever you are feeling down and lonely, he will always be there to comfort you, isn’t it. Honestly, his hug never fails to calm me. Crying on his shoulder is the most natural thing I remember doing. 

Whenever I am happy, he was always there to share the joy. Gazing into his starry eyes and smiley face glittering with blessing only escalate my happiness; a feeling of contentment and blissfulness that I can’t describe.

Whenever I am confused and unable to make a decision for myself, all I need his gentle touch and reassuring smile to put my mind at ease. It never fails to give me the courage and energy to continue on in life. I just know that he will always be there to catch me when I fall. That sounds too cliché isn’t it? But when you really meet the one that can give you this feeling, you will know that it is possible.

Argh.............will I ever find a girl as good as key? One that can understand me without words? Key, why can’t you be a girl, maybe I will fall for you instead of Se kyung..........

Yah...................Jonghyun-ah.............stop daydreaming and go to sleep...........it is already 4 am in the morning........you still have a date tomorrow, if you don’t want to look like a panda........... Go and sleep ok................ I screamed silently to myself, smacking my face to erase all the futile thoughts from my head. This is all because of Minho’s stupid question that why I can’t sleep at all, he is going to get it from me.

-Self reflection helps one to explore insights to innate emotions that hinders a relationship-

- Next morning-

Minho POV

I stared into the white ceiling overhead and sighed. “Argh...................how should I help key when I can’t even solve my own problem?” I thought as I got up off bed and walk towards the kitchen. I better get some sugar into my system; it will give me the energy to think. I have to figure out what to do?

“zi.............zi.......”  the sound of pan stirring and the resistible smell of fried bacon filled the air, making my mouth watered. Ah....... I remember I didn’t have the appetite to eat much yesterday night because of Taemin, no wonder I feel so hungry now. But isn’t it only 7.15 am in the morning, why is key up so early to make breakfast, we don’t have schedules today until late afternoon, shouldn’t he be resting too.

I walked quietly into the kitchen, trying not to distract him. Looking at his lonely backview concentrating to whip up a wholesome breakfast for all of us made me felt miserable. Why can’t he think more for himself rather than putting us first? I mean he looked so vulnerable there?

I can’t stand the thoughts of him being alone with no one to confine his feelings to so I went over and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. “Key, it’s so early, shouldn’t you be resting?” I said as I rested my chin on his shoulder. I want him to feel warmed with my care and concern but instead I felt his body stiffened in my arms.  Ah.............he is probably just not used to me being so affectionate towards him; I thought as I tighten my grip around him, he will understand soon.

“Hyung...........Minho Hyung, I can’t breathe..............let go of me?”

Yah..................Lee Taemin, stop popping into my head as and when you like ok. Why do I even hallucinate about your voice when I am hugging Key, can’t you just haunt someone else and leave me alone for a second?

“Hyung .....cough....cough......I’m not key” he gasping, struggling to break free from my embrace.

“YAH!!!!!!.................Choi Minho....................let go of Taemin now............” key screamed as he dashed into the kitchen, smacking my head with the grocery bags in his arms. 

“ What?...........Tae.............Taemin” I screeched in shocked, backing away from him. My knees immediately went weak causing me to slide onto the ground. “Why are you here, why are you wearing key’s apron?” I asked, pointing at him in bewilderment. Did I just hug Taemin, how can I not notice that it was Taemin cooking in the kitchen instead of key. Yah............that’s because Taemin don’t cook so why is he here early in the morning anyway?

“Taemin is helping me to prepare breakfast because I went out to get some vegetables for the kimchi soup I will be cooking. Se Kyung noona is coming over later for breakfast so you better help out to set the table, araso” key explained as though he heard the question ringing in my head while he patted Taemin’s back, trying to soothe his distress.

 “Minho-ah, don’t do that to Taemin again, he may suffocate and die” key said with a warning hint in his voice. I gazed into Taemin’s eyes which were gleaming with pain and remorse flooded over me. Sorry Taemin, I really didn’t mean to hurt you.

“Taemin-ah, mianhae” I said as I walked over to him, lifting him up in a bridal style. He was startled by my action causing him to wrap his arms tightly around my neck for support. The refreshing scent radiating from him aroused my senses, quickening my pulse. It just felt so right having him here in my arms.

“Key, I’m carrying Taemin out for a rest, I’ll come back and help you with the cooking” I said as I exited the kitchen. I better put him down quick before he noticed my heart racing.

“Minho hyung, am I very heavy? Why are frowning?" He asked with an innocent smile on his face, tracing my eye-brow with his fingers, sending jolt of electricity down my spine. How can I tell him I'm worry that he will notice my feelings for him?

“No, you are not heavy, I’m just thinking about something.” I answered, trying to brush off his questions.

“Hyung..................why did you hug key just now? Is he the one you like?” he muffled in a low, monotonous voice.

“Bwoh......” I exclaimed in loss of words.  Eh.........Me and Key, that's ridiculous..........but how can I explain myself?

I glanced into his questioning eyes, noticing that he was waiting nervously for my response. I’ve sensed a teeny hint of sadness in his words. Did I imagining it? Could he be jealous?

Yah.............Why would he be jealous, it is not as though he likes me. He probably just being nosy. A glint of annoyance crept over me. He's the cause of my agony but ignorant enough to ask me about it. So why am I bottling up my feelings and suffering alone when he is so interested in knowing? But how?........... I can’t let him know right, what if he rejects my feelings. What will happen to our friendship?

Flights of thoughts bombarded my mind hindering me for thinking logically. Flames of anger and distress clouded my judgment.

“Taemin-ah, what I do and who I like is none of your business” I snapped irritably, shoving him down the couch. I knew my anger was on the verge of bursting out, I need to get out of here now. As I turn and leave, I felt a tug on the edge of my shirt. I tried pulling away but his grip tightened holding me back.

“Taemin, what do you want?” I sighed helplessly.

“Minho Hyung”...........

“Mianhe.....sniff.....sniff......................I.....I....”

He is not crying, is he? Should I turn and take a look?

“Hyung...............don’t be angry........” he cried. How can I be angry with you?

“I’m not..............” I replied instantly.

“Then why won’t you face me, hyung?” he whined pitifully causing me to have no choice but to face him. The moment I turned over, my gaze drown into his pair of teary eyes that was pleading for my forgiveness. It hurts me seeing him cry. I couldn’t stop myself from wiping his tears away with my thumb, wanting to console him.

“Don’t cry, you silly. I’m sorry for lashing out at you just now” I said in my gentlest voice as I shuffled his hair in concern.

“No........You’re not..............” he pouted.

“Yes, I’m really, really sorry ok?”............Taemin..............

“Then, prove it.......hyung”

“How?..........What do you want me to do” I asked. I am willing to do anything he requested if it would make him happy. I want to see his smile again.

“Kiss me............Minho hyung”

“Bwoh!!!!.............kiss you.......?” I exclaimed in surprise. The thoughts of tasting his lips flashed in my mind, causing my face to blush in embarrassment.

“I can’t...........” I scoffed. You got to be kidding...........What if I can’t stop after kissing you? What if I want more?

Moments of silence lingered between us as we stared at each other intensively. Bolt of sweat trickled down my back as I heard his voice echoed in my ears.

“If you're not doing it then I’ll claim it myself” he answered solemnly.

Before I was able to comprehend what he meant. His body leaned forward, pressing his lips hardly against mine; tasting every inch of it meticulously. His juicy lips were more luscious than what I had imagined. Soft moan escaped my lips instinctively, giving his tongue access  to explore the treasures inside. I was totally intoxicated by his sweetness, hoping that this kiss could last forever.  It was until I felt his hands travelling up my shirt, my back when I jolted up. I felt the hardness groping in my pants. . ......I want him now..........

 “Stop......Taemin.............” I moaned, pushing him away with my trembling arms. We shouldn’t be doing this................ especially on the couch.

“I''ve....something on.....I’ve to go.....” I shrieked, fleeing away once I broke free from his embrace.

I dashed straight into the bathroom, throwing myself under the showering water, hoping that it will soothe my flaming body. My heart was still throbbing vigorously with excitement and it was torturous.

“Calm down...............Minho........Calm down.....” I howled as I took deep breathes in and out.

Hyung.............Kiss me................Kiss me.

Taemin’s melodious voice rang in my head making me recall the taste of his luscious lips and the softness of his gentle touches that I was trying hard to forget. The thoughts of him made me hard again. I moan in pain as I my stiffen member, trying to timid it down. It felt so awkward to be because of Taemin’s arousal. Why did he even do that? How am I going to face him now?

Taemin POV

Oh my god, seeing Minho Hyung dashing up the stairs, fleeing for his life as though he met a ghost was totally hilarious. Who would actually thought a tough guy like him would scare off by a kiss. Soft laughters surged out of my lips as I relished that memorable moment. However, deep down inside I knew I was actually very hurt by his reaction. Did he really hate my kiss that much?

“Yah.............who cares whether he likes it or not? That’s his punishment for snapping out at me. I traced my swollen lips subconsciously with my tongue as I recall the unique taste of his that was still lingering in my mouth. He tasted better than I had anticipated and I don’t hate it. Honestly, it was really fun teasing him; seeing him blushed in embarrassment, it make him look more y and tempting. I should do it again next time.

“Yawn.....................I should take a nap now before breakfast” I thought as I cuddled into a comfortable position in the couch, closing my eyes; allowing my dreams to dawn over me.

-Hours later-

“Taemin...........Taemin, wake up” Key squealed, shaking me forcefully, pulling me up from the couch. “Everyone is waiting for you for breakfast”

“Ahh...............I don’t want breakfast, I want to sleep” I whined, pushing him away.

“Taemin............Behave yourself, Se kyung noona is waiting...........”

“Sigh..............araso” I replied, rubbing my eyes with fingers, trying to adjust my vision to the glaring sunlight streaming in from the window.

“Let go...........” key said as he pulled me along into the dining room. Everyone except Minho hyung was gathering around the table filled with scrumptious dishes. It was hard to imagine how key was able to whip up so many dishes in such a short time. He's totally a genius.

“Annyeong, noona” I greeted Se Kyung noona with my sweetest smile as I scanned the room for the presence of Minho hyung.

“Annyeong, Taemin-ssi” she replied politely.

 “Where is Minho hyung?” I asked curiously. He is not avoiding me, is he?

“Minho..............he volunteered to buy drinks for everyone, we ran out on cola” Onew hyung answered halfheartedly. He was eyeing the baked chicken eagerly, waiting to devour it. “Key, can we start eating now?” he whined, reaching out to grab a piece of chicken.

“Ok, we can start eating, I've left some food for Minho already” key answered as he picked a piece of meat with his chopstick and placed it in my bowl. “Eat more, Taemin” he mouthed, signalling me to eat. I know I lose quite a bit of weight since our comeback and it was making him worry. “I will, hyung. Don’t worry” I whispered.

“Kim Jong Hyun!!!!!!!...........Stop taking my chicken” Onew yelled, snatching the chicken thigh back from Jonghyun.

“Yah!...................Can’t you share the chicken, it’s not yours ok. But if that chicken is your girlfriend, I'll totally not fight with you. Who wants a bird for life?” Jonghyun chuckled.  “Why do you love chicken so much anyway, hyung”

“Pabo.........because it is filled with pheromones”

“Bwoh...........” he exclaimed in shock.

“Don’t you know that Love is just a chemical reaction within our brain that is influenced by hormones and neurotransmitters that controlling our emotions and behaviours?

“So..............”

“So.............stop eating my chicken unless you want to fall in love with them too”

“Yucks…………you can have it” Jonghyun shrieked, throwing the piece of half- eaten chicken out of his plate.

The delicious baked chicken I was chewing in my mouth started tasting like sawdust and it made me lose my appetite, all because of Onew hyung’s idiotic comment.

“Hyung............., love is a sacred experience how can you use a chemical reaction to define it? You don’t understand the pain one has to endure when their feelings is not reciprocate, do you? Humph……….how can I expect you to know when you haven experience it?” Se Kyung noona mocked sarcastically, staring straight at Onew hyung forcing him to give an answer.

We were all petrified by Se Kyung noona sudden outrage and no one dared to say anything. Everyone was staring at Onew hyung hoping that he would do something to alleviate the intense mood surrounding us. But the rescue never came, Onew hyung just kept quiet with his head hung low.

-Moments later-

“Sorry, I need to go to the washroom” Se kyung noona said as she excused herself, breaking the silence. She was probably trying to lighten the awkwardness in the air by leaving the room.

“Thanks for the meal” Onew commented as he bowed and made his exit. The sight of unfinished chicken piling on his plate was an extraordinary phenomenon, usually Onew hyung would never forgo his chicken for anything else.

What’s wrong with both of them anyway?

“Onew Hyung, gwenchana” Key called out after him worriedly.

“Ya……….I’m fine............” he replied as he dashed out of the dinning room.

“Urgh…………….I’ll go and check up on Se Kyung first, bye…..” Jonghyun uttered as he escape from our view.

“Eh……………Key hyung, I will help you to with the dishes” I suggested as I cleared the plates into the sink. I felt bad leaving key to do all the washing alone when he had been cooking in the kitchen all morning.

“No, Taemin. I will do it, you should go and rest” he replied, taking the sponge from my hands.

“But…….hyung….” I pouted, gazing at him. I was surprised when I noticed sadness engraved in his eyes with endless pain radiating from it. What’s wrong with him too, his expression became really weird after hearing Se kyung noona’s words.

“Araso...........” I replied as I walk away, I guess Key probably needs some time alone. He'll open up to me if he wants to. Ah..............Why is Minho hyung not here, he  knows how to deal with this kind of sticky situation better than me. I am starting to miss him now. Minho hyung, where are you?

Vagel_91:

                 Hey guys, sorry for the long wait, I had a writer's block and didnt know how to continue the story but it is resolve now. I will try to update as often as I can so hang in there, dont give up on my story. Hope your will enjoy it.

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