“Yunho, I’m getting fat” I stepped in front of the mirror with the bottom of my shirt tucked under my chin. I’m getting bigger, now that I’ve almost hit our four month mark. Not only am I getting fat, but the house chores are getting more difficult to complete. Thankfully Yunho has been working at home more often, so he’s had a little more time to help around the house.

“You’re not fat Jae, you just so happen to be carrying our baby in the beautiful stomach of yours.” Yunho walked into our bathroom and hugged me gently from behind, his hands rubbing my abdomen lovingly. We still have our ups and downs, but I’m certain this time he really is trying. The way he’s been acting recently shows it.

I turned around and placed my hands on both sides of his face, giving him a quick peck, “you sure know the right words to say to me darling.” I let go of his face and left our master bathroom. Our room now looked like Yunhos office downstairs, cluttered with paperwork. Since he works from home most of the time, its understandable work comes with him. Sometimes it really bothers me though. Oh well I’ll take what I can get; beggars can’t be choosers as I always say.

“Jae, I’m sorry but I have this project to look over before its presented tomorrow morning. You go to bed first, I’ll join you later.” He started to leave our room, but stopped in his tracks when I cleared my throat.

“Where are you going?” I crossed my arms and sat on our bed.

“Downstairs to my office, I don’t want to ruin your sleep with the light from my laptop.” He scratched the back of his head with a sheepish grin, that jerk for being so cute when I’m trying to be mad at him.

“I’ll be fine; I really want you to stay up her with me. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep well tonight anyways.” I crooked my finger at him, signaling him closer. “If you know what I mean.” It’s been four months and I’m sure he needs this just as bad as I do, there’s no way he will say –

“No” Yunho shook his head furiously by the bedroom door, “we might hurt our baby, I don’t want to hurt our baby.” For once it really irked me that he was concerned for the baby. What about me, aren’t I his baby still?

“But I’m your baby too Yunho, if you decline me this, you’ll hurt me.” I felt so frustrated with him, he’s so caring but he really doesn’t think about others feeling sometimes.

“The baby will be okay, please just this one night I would love you to embrace me. Please” our bed felt cold, all I wanted was for him to make it warm. His brows furrowed in concentration. “Fine.” Even though I could tell he wasn’t happy, I couldn’t help but feel pleased he caved in.

As he removed his shirt and lied on top of me, I finally felt it. I’m taking his energy, all of it. Yunho, my Yunho.

------------------Next morning before sunrise----------------

He will be all right; if I leave he will be okay. My mind was in ruins, the feeling of my broken husband holding me weakly has caused my insides to burn as if acid runs through them. The electricity I felt between each touch he made to my skin has turned numb. His energy is dying, and it’s my entire fault.

“I’m sorry Yunho”, I placed the note on his desk, noticeably on his laptop. I picked up my only suitcase and quietly left the house to the awaiting cab last night. For now, I will stay with Changmin but eventually I will go to Seoul. As long as I am no longer hurting the one I love.