Hey guise. :) NUUUUUUU. Okay, okay. I'm seriously not feeling well today. Of course not physically, but mentally. ;A; Physical pain no longer agonizes me. iunno. Am I a vampire or sumtin? Alright. Here it goes: STRESS STRESS STRESS. Nothing out of the ordinary. Fear, sensitivity, doubt... ALL OF THOSE UGLY THINGS THAT RESTRAIN ME FROM BEING ME. -_- Kay, let's get straight to the point here: I DETEST being criticized. Truly. Maybe it's because that perfectionist trait is already inside of me? Maybe because of the fact that I took compliments for granted? IDUNNO. >D8< I just don't know. It's been bugging me ever since I received... AHEM. That's shall remain as a top secret of mine. -_- Writer's block coming at me yet again? I think so too. Kay, so here's the thing: I often receive writer's block whenever I'm busy worrying about something. There's just this part of me that thinks I don't deserve happiness. I focus WAAAAAAAY better that way. Living a monotone, boring routine through everyday life makes me, I believe, a successful person in everyone's eye. Iunno. Concentrating too much trying to be likeable? I think so too. I kinda think I've just turned to writing instead of actually sympathizing with people. I find that their problems are nothing compared to mine. WHY DO I STRESS OVER THIS KIND OF STUFF? Now I've used that word bajillion of times. Guess this is lesson time for me: to avoid people who lower my self-esteem. I'm EXTREMELY sensitive. 'Nuff said. I'm a person of believes smiling is contagious. WAIT WUUUUUUUUT. I just stated a moment ago that I don't deserve happiness. Now you know that I have a contradicting personality. LOLS. I'm at war with myself right now, that's why. You see, I've become too neutral when it comes to opinions about others and the world. MY MIND JUMBLY. Why am I writing this? -_- Oh right. So that it may cure whatever may be wrong with me. I'm too harsh on myself, aren't I? Anyways, back to drawing board. I really try to avoid judging people, because, from my personal experience, it really just monkey balls awful. People are special, and everyone is different. However, I come from an Asian family that believes everything being united and basically, everyone who lack individuality. Cue in depressing music. I guess life can't all be sweet-coated. I BE LOLING RIGHT NOW. I'm trying to act smart. -_- THAT'S ANOTHER THING. I dislike proving myself to anyone. Right now, I do think we live in an ugly world. I'M KEEEDING. Might as well be optimistic right? I'm such a sore loser. -_- That's the beautiful thing, I guess. Something to distinguish me from everyone else. Overdramatic Stephanie. xD I recall FreakingOutFTW offering me advice when I wrote ANOTHER depressing blog a couple of months ago. She's an awesome, wild dongsaeng. I FEEL LIKE SOME KIND OF GRAMPS RIGHT NOW.  lolol. I'm running out of stuff to say. Stay true to yourself, huh? Great advice. Truly. Breathe in, breathe out. I CAN DO THIS... whatever I'm persevering through right now. xD THAT'S RIGHT. I comfort myself. I find that people no longer have anything sincere to say to me. I just said that. Too busy fitting in with the crowd. Why not stand out then?, I tell myself. SMILE STEPH. SMILE. kay I feel better. thanx.