Changmin said he wanted some time to himself so I end up walking to the dorm alone. For some reason I sensed that Changmin’s sudden mood swings has to do something with me. I didn’t know what.. yet it made me feel guilty.

When I was walking in Yoochan was already there, in his bed, reading a book with his dorky glasses on.

“hey Yoochan” my voice was breaking.

Understanding my situation he put the book away and patted the bed motioning me to join him. Without hesitating I settled myself next to him. Yoochan didn’t say a word but hugged me tightly. I really needed it.

“you okay?” I didn’t know I was crying until he my wet cheeks wiping my tears away.

I shook my head.

“care to tell me what happened?” Yoochan asked in a caring voice. I sobbed more.

“it’s okay baby. It’s okay.” He tightened his hold around me and let me ruin his shirt with my tears.

 ~*~*~*~

I heard someone talking or more like whispering. I couldn’t figure out if it’s real or I’m just dreaming but their voices were so clear. It’s Yoochan and Changmin. I still had my eyes closed. I was pretty sure it was them. I must be dreaming. They were never in good terms to talk to each other.

Changmin – he has his own bed, why the hell is he in yours?

Yoochan – Changmin don’t make a fuss outta it. I just simply let him sleep there.

Changmin – yeah right *sarcasm* but why your bed?

Yoochan – look I don’t wanna start a fight with you now Changmin. And I’m your sunbae. Show some respect.

Changmin – like I give a damn. I’m moving Su to his bed.

Yoochan – it’s just a bed Changmin. And don’t call him just Su. He’s older than you.

Changmin - …

Yoochan – I understand that you guys are soo close to each other but let him sleep now. He must be tired. He cried for hours.

Yoochan said in a soft voice. Little after that I felt someone my face. Familiar touch, familiar scent. Yoochan…

Yoochan pushed away the bangs that cover my face.

“He cried” I recognize some sadness in Changmin’s voice.

“Changmin I actually have something to talk to you about but I don’t think this is a good time.” Yoochan’s voice hinted some sadness in it too.

“Hyung.” I literally had a heart attack when Minnie said “hyung”. He never never never called anyone Hyung other than Yunho and Jaejoong. (well even Jaejoong hyung just become “Jae” to him sometimes.)

“yes” I guess Yoochan was shocked as well.

“did he tell you the reason he cried??” Changmin’s voice was heartbreaking.

“no but he seemed hurt. I didn’t force him. He’ll tell me eventually. When he feels like doing it. And ummm… I think he could use a friend now.”

I heard the door open and shut as Yoochan leaves the room leaving me and Changmin behind. It was silent after that.

“Su” I felt the mattress sunk down under Changmin’s weight.

“I’m sorry” he was caressing my face, his long fingers trailing down my cheeks..

Why’s he apologizing?

“I’m doing something I shouldn’t. I’m sorry, I cant help it.”

Something warm and wet touched my lips. Before I could come to my senses Changmin was kissing me. nibbing, and my lips. Sensation washed through me and I responded to his kisses. I kissed him back.

Changmin was the first to break the kiss. “Su” he was panting hard and I felt his warm breath on my face,

Till now I thought I was dreaming but this was too vivid, it felt real. Then it hit me. I opened my eyes and found Changmin’s face so close to mine.

His lips were red and swollen and his eyes were showing mixed feelings of lust and surprise. I really kissed him back. I couldn’t believe I really did that.

I pushed Changmin away and tried to get up, before I could make my way to exit he grabbed my wrist. I tried to get away from his touch with no success.

“Su don’t go” Tears were forming up in his eyes.

“Let me go.” I nearly cried. I betrayed Yoochan. I’m a horrible boyfriend.

~*~*~*~

In Changmin’s POV

I was surprised when Junsu responded to my kiss. For a moment I was soo happy. I really thought that we can finally be together. Hell, his mouth was soo sweet. It was warm and it was everything.

When I broke the kiss I was ready to confess him my feelings. But he pushed me away. I thought he was doing it out of embarrassment but his eyes said something else. He looked afraid and in verge of tears.

Junsu tried to get up and leave. I stopped him by grabbing his wrist. I saw him winced in pain. it hurt me.

“Su don’t go” I almost begged.

“let me go” his unshed tears finally managed to escape. They were trailing down his cheeks. I wanted to hug him but next words he said broke me. It crushed my whole world right in front of me, leaving me nothing. Not even a single hope to live.

“I love Yoochan”

No more reason to live. Not anymore.