Chap. 34
My Idol Love
Jae Joong POV
“I did this for you.” She whispered. I scoff, “for me? You hide my daughter from me? How is that good for me?” I removed her
hand and stand up. I walk back and forth. ~for me?~ she stands up too. She faced me with the look I haven’t seen before. “yes for
you. Have you read my letter? I suppose you didn’t.” she said with a faint smile. She walks towards the car now. “now you know, we
should probably head back” she said while pausing on the passenger side. “we’re not finish” I turn her to face me. “oh yes we are
Kim Jae Joong, we are so finished.” The way she said every word is like a knife who stabs my heart. Like that it have two meaning.
Finished conversation. Finished relationship.
“she needs to know.” I insisted. “don’t worry, I’ll tell her. but please, buy me some time. She’s too young. She might not
understand.” She uttered with a poker face. She amused me, she was like dying earlier but now she’s stronger than I am. “when we
go back, act like nothing happen, like you still don’t know. No one should know. Even yoochun and junsu. I will let you visit her. I will
let you near her but you are still uncle jae to her.” she continued. “until when?” I asked. “just wait it will come.” She replied, she
shrug my hand that’s resting on her shoulder and went inside the car. I glanced at jae min who’s still sleeping soundly. I let out a
smile. She’s mine, my angel, my princess. I looked at So Min who sits there blankly. OUR daughter.
They got back in seoul late. When jae park his car and about to go out, so min held his arm. “no, no need. They might know that we
are with you.” So min said. But jae is will not back down. He carried the sleeping jae min. “go get your camera at the back.” jae said
emotionless. “noona, where have you been? Jae joong hyung?” jungshin paused on the entrance frame. “jae min got in trouble at
school, luckily jae joong is still in SBS when they called me. We just took jae min someplace until she feels better. Shin-ah, take
jae min to our room.” so min explain feebly. Jungshin took jae min from jae joong and exited. “thank you for today kim jae joong.”
So min uttered and bowed. “remember our talk. You promised.” Jae reminded her. so min just nod lifelessly. Jae nod “nanny, usher
Mr. kim on his way out.” So min said and went towards her room.”
“noona, why the long face? What really happen?” jungshin asked after so min entered the room and slump her body on the couch.
“noona?” jungshin came near her. jungshin squatted and now she is crying on the pillow. “noona! What the hell happened?” junghsin
concernly asked. “shin-ah, he knows.” With that jungshin just let out a sigh. “didn’t I told you that this is a bad idea?” jungshin seat
on the couch replacing the pillow with his lap. “but I did this for him.” So min still holding on to that reason. Doing it for him. “are
you sure you did this for him or for you?” jungshin asked. So min looked at him clueless. “aigoo noona, you just tell yourself that you
did this for him but its really for you. You’re afraid that he will leave you first.” Jungshin caress his sister’s hair. “you’ve always
been afraid to be left behind. So when you got a chance, you grab it. Leaving him. But it’s not all about you now noona, think about
jae min, she is suffering from all the decision you’ve made.” Jungshin explained.
After jungshin left the room, so min still lay on the couch, analyzing all the things jungshin told her. she then stand up and moved to
the bed where jae min soundly sleeping. She caresses the girl’s hair. “are you really suffering about my decision?” she question the
sleeping child. Then she stands up to get her camera who’s sitting on the table. She walks towards the bed again with the camera.
She sat beside jaemin while browsing the photos from the script reading. The first photo that pops on the screen is the test shot
with jae joong in it. she unknowingly let out a smile. He still looks perfect despite that shot is candid. She looks at jaemin and sigh,
“am I really selfish?” “you really resembles him too.” She uttered. “what am I going to do?”
The weekend passed by like wind. Jae joong enjoyed his little trip to his parents’ house. But still he his mind is occupied of things
about so min and jae min. he is somewhat happy to know that jae min is his daughter, not only she is his but so min is the mother.
The woman he loved, or still love? “buy me some time, she’s too young, she might misunderstand” that word keeps bugging him until
when will he WAIT again. “yes for you. Have you read my letter? I suppose you didn’t.” he remembered what she said. “what
letter?”he questioned. He reached his apartment still puzzled with the letter, he went straight to the fridge to get water. While
drinking he remembered the folded paper he left on his table. He run to his work place and search for the letter.
Jae joong POV
I found the folded paper beside my computer. Is this the letter she’s talking about? Then I browse the bookshelves searching
where he found that paper, his eyes stop on the title, and a little chuckle came out from him. Something about waiting huh? He told
himself. I slowly unfold the paper, why am I nervous? There he saw so min’s hand writing. So this is it. dated only 2 days before
they came back from the tour.
Dear Baby Jae,
Baby jae, or I should just address you jae because after you read this letter I know you wish you never knew me or met me at all.
First of all I want to thank you for being my strength for the past 5 months that we are together. You are my first relationship so
you will always have a special place in my heart. You’ve been there and promised that you will always be there. But I don’t think I
can do the same for you. I love you Jae, I really do, in fact I’m willing to give you everything I can for you to be happy. Do you
remember when I ask you how much you love me? Remember your answer? I guess you do. I’m overwhelm with your answer jae but
I think it’s good for you. All the years of ups and downs from your debut till now that you are so popular, you are willing to give it
all up just for me? Me? I don’t think I can face everyday that I’m happy I’m with you but all the struggles you’ve faced before will
come to waste. I love you so much that I have to let you go. Thank you for the experience; you know what I’m talking about. I really
thought that you are the one I will spend the rest of my life with but that is me being selfish. You belong to the public and who am
I to break that bond. I will still love you jae, forever perhaps. I want you to continue your life as it is, the popular KIM JAE
JOONG. I will still support you. And if it happens, when we saw each other again, just smile at me and go on, or better yet ignore
me. We will wait for your return, I will wait for you.
Sincerely,
So Min
Jae joong lost all the strength in his body, he slump on the floor crying his eyes out. “I did it for you” he recalls so min’s reason. He
held the letter close to his chest. “babo!” he uttered. All of this years that passed by, he thought nothing like this exist. He
thought So Min just left him because she is bored with him, bored with the secret relationship they had. but now, they are
officially finished. “oh yes we are Kim Jae Joong, we are so finished.” So min’s voice echoed again in his head. She moved on, when
he is now confused. “what do I do now?”
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call it over acting but I actually shed some tears writing the letter.
Is the story going too fast? please tell me your feedbacks.
I'm planing to end this FF at chap. 40
how did you find this chap.??? drama overload ay? mian. seems like my life is full of drama... OTL
oh by the way sorry for some wrong spelling words or wrong grammar. english is not my native language. but I think my english is decent
LOL
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