When the past matters

The road trip back to your heart. [Hiatus]

 

Hi! An update! ^.^

This chapter might seem pretty random... but it will help with understanding the character's emotions and feelings better. Starting from Junsu. Aish... still a long way to go though. *downcasted*

Please do stay and read! *bows*

Please do tell me if you have anything to add or want to voice out! *grins*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

POV from Yunho

I am pretty satisfied of late… since I have finally found a target that I can use my bullying gene on. He is much tougher than he looked. I thought he appears to be a spoilt brat that will whine and complain with every little problem he runs into, but he had proven himself otherwise.

He kept me so entertained since the moment we met, and I can only say that I have no complains whatsoever… not even when it comes to his dress code anymore. He has taken much consideration when it comes to being more conservative now. I am glad that I no longer have any form of unnecessary distraction at work.

Point aside, since my sudden assault on him earlier on, he had disappeared altogether. Then while I was prowling the corridors and empty house officer “night-duty rooms”, I ran into him again, except, he is the one that initiated contact this time.

*Night duty rooms are for doctors to sleep in while they are doing their night shifts. It consists of a bed, toilet, desk and a cupboard.

Before I can start my ranting, he helped himself into the room, darting around in search for a place to hide. The look on his face is priceless! Simply priceless!! He looked like a small animal… an untamed marmot? A pretty little ferret? Scurrying around the room, then throwing himself onto the ground and rolling under the bed behind me.

Fascinated by the sudden appearance of this irresistible creature, I closed the door behind me and proceeded to having some fun teasing him. I mean no harm. I just want to play him a little… get him all tensed up and embarrassed… like how I like him to be.

“BOO!” I bent down and shouted into the dark space beneath the bed, enveloping him. With a thud and a sudden yelp of pain, he came rolling out from underneath, hands still on his head while he nurses the pink patch forming on his forehead. I scared him! YES!

“!” He spat at me and proceeded to the door, where he peeked out from the slightly ajar door. Who is he hiding from?

“Kim sshi. Having loan sharks after your ?” I whispered into his ears, causing him to jump and slam the door shut. His eyes were wide and his lips were quivering a little as he wiped the droplet of sweat off his forehead. I have no words to describe just how delectable he looks at this exact moment.

“How did you know? There are more than a dozen of them.” He underwent a 180 degree change in attitude within a split second, rolling his eyes after staring at me with the “mind-your-own-business” face. Hmmm… can’t he adopt a kinder approach when interacting with me? I like it better when he is looking all scared and vulnerable a second ago.

“Aish! Rude little creep!” I pushed his head and he swept my hands off his head rudely, looking at me defiantly. The not so docile side of him has emerged again and I can feel the need to crush it. Call me a sadist… or a chauvinist. I believe in absolute submission. Even if it’s from a stranger… and he isn’t even a stranger.

Deciding to again, I reached down for that cute little rear of his, hidden under the thick white coat, and gave them a hard squeeze. I was honestly expecting a very “feminist” type of reaction… something like a shy cry or gentle slapping of the hands… nothing near what he issued me. A fist to the gut. A painful blow that almost turned my intestines into mush.

“Bastard.” He muttered as he turned away, rubbing his reddened knuckles with the other hand. My abs is rock hard… and so are my love handles, since I work out alot. I don’t think he knows that. A fatal mistake for him to launch the first attack though! Even though I am still reeling from the sudden painful clout he issued me, I can still blow a fuse and retaliate. I am never the sitting duck type. You hit me, I hit you back… unless you are female.

Grabbing him by the arms, I flipped him around to face me and slammed him into the cupboard beside the door. I think I caught him off guard as he was still busy inspecting his sore hand. The motion seemed to knock the wind out of him, and he was squirming weakly under my stronghold. Then I lifted him off the ground a little with only a hand, sliding his small frame up the slippery cupboard door with the aid of what little friction it provided.

As if catching his breath again, he sent a tightened fist right into my face. I barely dodged it, and the sickening sound of the air gushing past my ears with the attack just confirmed that he meant for me to consult a plastic surgeon for nose reconstruction after he was done assaulting my face. This fella here can really be a tenacious legend if he was born in another era.

I repeat. Not the regular spoilt brat I thought he was. He is really different from his cowering peers in this particular aspect. I LIKE THAT!

“Sweetheart, I have an instructor certificate for all types of martial arts that exists in Korea… that means, you only managed to snitch a punch at me earlier on because you were lucky.” He needs to get his facts right. I AM someone he should fear, not trifle with. I know he is scared of me, and he should just accept that fact already. His facial expressions are more honest than him.

“Get off me!!” He screams as he thrashes around in my unyielding grip. I ignored his cries and went on to check him out again. I had him bare skinned under me before… and even with his clothes on now, I can still reminisce that moment. How I can feel the heavenly diaphanous skin beneath me, so sensuously, at that time. The “ambience” that gave me goosebumps and caused every hair on my skin to stand with ual arousal… it’s as if his presence itself inveigles me to do him.

“You are SO irritating!!” His sudden swear caught me off guard again. Irritating? Did he just call me irritating? Didn’t he already know that annoying is my middle name? And pissing people off is my game. I shall become his pet peeve from today on!

He threw his forehead right at my jawline again, so I dodged it by arching my neck downwards. Then while I was there, I zeroed in on the pellucid skin at his neck and thought about how the red turtle neck wasn’t flaunting it, and then an idea hit me. I will have another perfect way of making him pay for hitting me earlier on, instead of hitting him back.

Swooping down to level my face with his neck, I latched my teeth onto his tall red collar before he could head me again, and pulled it down slightly. Then without releasing my grip on him, I at the area behind his ears, extending down to his clavicle, and started gnawing at the thin skin there.

“YAHH!! STOP…” his voice trailed off somehow, while I continued biting at the already abused skin, while moving my mouth along the gentle arc there. He also stiffened all of sudden and was whimpering as I carried on with creating the biggest “hickeys” I can, all over his entire neck. He will not dare to bare this slender feature of his for weeks from today on. Serve him right!

“KIM JOONGIE!! COME OUT RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!” I heard a witch like cry emanating from outside, distracting me a little. “YAH!! KIM JOONGIE!! WHERE ARE YOU?!” with that, the voice faded into a distance, and I can actually feel the muscles beneath the poor abused neck relaxing.

Instead of bothering myself with checking out the commotion, I took my time in grabbing a chunk of flesh and chewed at it mercilessly, earning only a pathetic whimper. Kim Joongie? Whose kid ran away anyways? It did not hit me that Kim Joongie is this person stuck between the door and me.

“Red colour suits you. Turtle necks will be more appropriate for the following month though.” I took a long look at the art piece I have created on his neck and smirked. The entire region on his neck is littered with ugly red and purplish bruises… from behind the ears to the back of his neck. They look painful, but it was more painful for me to and bite at him without doing him to my heart’s desire! He was so close yet so unattainable!

He should be thankful that “hickeys” are all he gets for assaulting me. Anyhow, I don’t how far I can push it, but I am not worried. He is a tough cookie, so he will not resign or anything like that, just from being tortured by me. That is what I like about him after all. That spirit! I crown him my permanent mood-maker, in the worse sense… No one can make me happier than him can! I know it’s sick, but that’s the truth.

Tossing him to the ground, I pursed my lips at him and flashed my brightest smile before strutting off arrogantly. He immediately got up after me and slammed the door shut upon my exit… locking me outside. I can hear angry wails and gasps coming from inside as I stick my ears to the door. “AHHHHH!!! HOW DO I GO HOME LIKE THIS?! BASTARD!!” he screamed and kicked at what sounded like the cupboard door. “BAM!! OUCH!! STUPID CUPBOARD!! Owwww!!”

I almost ended up rolling on the floor with laughter. Looks to me like he is not exactly a smart one! Who hurts himself while throwing a fit?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile…

“Owwww!!” Junsu hissed after accidentally stubbing his toe against the staircase railing, on his way back to his room. Biting his lips to continue the cry that is stuck at the back of his throat, Junsu made his way up as quietly as he could, tiptoeing.

“Kim Junsu! Where were you?!” Junsu can hear his father’s voice booming from the staircase right beside his bed room door as he almost successfully sneaks his way back into his room.

“Ap… appa? You are still awake?” Junsu tried to sound as innocent as he could, knowing that his father would definitely be waiting for him. “Since when have you become so rebellious?! Staying out so late!?” the man stomped over to his cowering son’s side and grabbed him by his thin shoulders.

“It’s not 12 midnight yet... and hyung said” Junsu was cut off by his father as the older man flipped the switch beside him, lighting up the entire hallway. “SMACK!” the sound of a loud slap resonated across the long hallway as the older man sent a harsh blow across the younger man’s ears, extending to the cheeks.

Junsu’s father was the strict and very dictatorial type of person. And he believes that he has plenary power over his sons, hence, meaning that they will conform no matter what, through any means. That includes violence. Junho’s latest malfeasance had ripped a big hole in his reputation, and he is all about stepping up his game now.

“You reek of alcohol!! Learning all the wrong things from your brother huh?! Look at what happened when he drank, you idiot!” the older man continued to hit Junsu on the head, taking out his frustration on his youngest son. Junsu had not been drinking, but Yoochun had.

POV from Junsu

Yoochunnie hyung was depressed! What am I supposed to do? I couldn’t ignore him when he is downcast!! What if he ends up killing himself… like umma did?

Whatever it is, I believe I have to do something, so I ended up staying for supper even though I promised hyung that I will be home early. Wait… the clock only indicates 11.30pm! I did keep to the curfew timing! But I know I am screwed the moment I saw appa standing there. He is never the easygoing type… and he is always right.

Anyways, the beatings I get are no longer as forceful as they use to be. Hyung always tells me that we have to tolerate no matter what, because appa is suffering inside as well. I can’t tell… but I will take hyung’s words for it. Appa is probably just worried about my safety. He is just worried. I deserve to be beaten for staying out late… I deserve it. Swallow it whole Junsu! Don’t blow things up!!

I didn’t even get to defend myself. I don’t drink… appa knows that… but he is just being too emotional now. I can’t blow things up!

“If you do this again, I will personally transfer you back to where you came from.” Appa gave me one last furious thump on my occiput and stomped back to his room, opposite to hyung’s.

“Good night appa.” I managed weakly instead of saying something rude. I know he have been very unhappy with me recently… especially after I took off to the other side of the world without his consent. The thing is… he has been a very grim person since a long time ago… and I have to appease him as much as I can! Plus, he is probably stressed out by the incident with hyung…

I should just be thankful to him that my wish is granted. Appa probably allowed my transfer after my sudden act of defiance… but one bitten twice shy. I can never pull off that stun again. If I do, I will die a terrible death under him for sure.

I should count myself lucky. I am lucky to have such a nice shelter above my head… a complete family… well… not entirely complete… but still…

“Junsu! You have work tomorrow! Need to concentrate on getting some sleep!” I shrugged off all the negative thoughts and whispered to myself.

Lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I watched the black shadows of trees outside swaying as it is reflected into my room by the dim moonlight. This brings me back to Yoochunnie hyung. The shadows gave off the same feeling as he had. I don’t know exactly how to put it into words… but it is definitely similar.

Junsu yah! I’m so lonely! Comfort me!” this sentence he said kept ringing over and over in the back of my mind. Badly slurred with the alcohol intoxication, but the nasally feel to it suggests he had been crying quietly as he drank. It sounded so genuine… and it as if he is revealing his innermost thoughts to me.

Yoochunnie hyung is so pitiful!! And I can’t believe I am saying this, but I would’ve been lonely too, had Joongie and Minnie not came into my life and brighten it up. What can I do for him? … What my best friends have done for me? Comfort… what is considered enough?

I honestly wanted to cry after hearing him say this… so many times. Umma use to confine in me as well… and she even said something like that before she left. Loneliness. The thing that drove her off the edge and do what she did. The very thing that eventually killed her and left everyone in my family scarred for life.

Flashback

“YEOBO!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!” Umma was on the floor… begging… in nothing but her small dress-pyjamas. I was 12… and very dependent on her. She was my best friend as well.

“I will do whatever you want me to as long as you will consider forgiving me!” she was hugging onto appa’s legs as he hurled abuse at her, kicking her off. Throwing vase and every object he can reach at the stranger escaping through the door with only his pants on.

I was all alone in the house when the violent outburst took place. Hyung was already adult and off to medical school… and I am still preparing for my exams coming up next week. Huddled up in a small corner, thinking about how I can help, I tried to form a full picture in my mind before leaving my hiding place.

“YOU FILTHY CHEATING !!” With one bone breaking whack, appa sent umma rolling to the far end of the living room. “HOW DARE YOU!! CHEATING ON ME, ON MY BED!! WITH OUR SON IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR!! GET OUT!! OUT!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!” appa was screaming so hysterically.

I wanted to go forward to protect umma… cover her almost bare body with my blanket, but I just froze on the spot. Appa’s rage, coupled by umma’s sorrowful and pitiful cries of repentance was too much for me to process. Then appa was out of the house after almost breaking the front door.

I saw it… the moment I moved forward from where I was. I saw the bouquet of flowers appa came home with. I remember seeing his happy face, smelling the bouquet of red roses, from the window, after hearing his car pulling into the drive way earlier on. Umma did something wrong.

However, I never blamed her or gave up on her. I actually begged appa not to let her go… and so she got to stay… but I should never have done that! Making her stay only strained her and appa, the wrong way… resulting in her death.

Junsu yah! Umma was so lonely! Forgive me!” This was the last words she said to me while I was half asleep, in the middle of the night. The next morning, she was gone. Lying beside me with an empty bottle of poison or medicine… I don’t even remember anymore.

She was cruel…

End of flashback

Junsu yah! I’m so lonely! Comfort me!” That sentence again. Ignore it Junsu! Sleep!

TBC

Please do comment and subscribe! *bows*

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
mizz_puchie #1
i always love your fics.....please write more author shi.....
eclipse #2
Update soon~~
omgomg #3
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to update soon! I love this. Yunho is sdjfklsdjf funny! and OMG Jaejoong's relationship with his mom so funny!!!
Sylvia14 #4
I don't know what's the right word to call Yunho's behavior - bipolar disorder? Split personality? LOL. A doctor, but contrary to the popular belief, he's a bully and the others dread seeing him,not to mention his predilection for bickering with mothers, including his own in "Acceptance..." and of course 'molesting' Jaejoong.
iscreamout
#5
xDDD
lol at the last line xDD
jae loves jiji very much~~
does yoochun already know about junsu's family?
SummerSky
#6
hahaha !!!!! aww, joongie really loves jiji right ?!?! :)
sanasuki #7
awww, poor JIJU,become the victim..wae Yunho such a jerk?
YOO_love_SU
#8
finally yoochun meet junho...
will yoochun meet junsu too???and find out that junsu is junho's younger brother???
thanks for update...
SummerSky
#9
LOL! I think jae was so adorable when he got scared n run from his mom !!!
omgomg #10
hahahahaha!!!! omg this is so funny!! I LOVE Jae's relationship with his mother. I laughed so hard! I hope Jae maintains his vigor against Yunho and not become someone defenseless and girly.. he should be strong and fight off Yunho too.