It took nearly eight minutes to get the tears to stop. Though that might have been because Jiyong's phone went off again that brought a whole new round of the waterworks. His sleeves were covered in mucose which didn't help the vomit that was fighting to make an appearance. Seunghyun gently brushed Jiyong's hair with his hand. It should have been weird as his hand was very rough and scarred, but it soothed the younger as if it was a sign saying,"this is him, in all his calloused glory."  

When Jiyong finally stopped crying, he laid against Seunghyun to try and reform his jagged breathing.  It just felt so good to be with Seunghyun. It felt like he could cry, and scream, and pummel the older boy no matter what the reason, and everytime he would just be brought into a careful embrace and held until everything was deminished. It felt like someone wanted him, and he needed to be wanted. 

After a few moments of enjoying the butterflies in his stomachthat made his heart flutter, and trying to ignore the burning on his cheeks, he looked out towards the quad area. He didn't want to move yet, but he did move his face out of the crook of his hyung's neck so he was just resting against his shoulder. "I'm sorry I was so stubborn. I could've saved you,well, this." 

Seunghyun grunted in response,one of those 'you're kidding me,right' kind of responses. It made Jiyong sit up to look at him. Seunghyun's arm was still around Jiyong, but it wasn't holding him as he just let it lay on the grass behind him lazily. There was a sniffle, and then Jiyong crossed his legs, sitting sideways so he could see his friend. "I really should've just shut up. It would've been easier. I'm sorry."

Seunghyun shook his head once,  exposing a mock laugh. "You're sorry because I found a way to break through to the part of you that you tried to bury more and more and more. It wouldn't have been easier, actually, the easiest thing would've been if you just told me from the beginning." 

Jiyong grumbled, throwing his hands onto the grass,obviously still upset. There was a burning in his stomach, churning the contents like the barrel of a gun. "No,no it would not have! No one has ever noticed before. They never knew when I lied or when something was wrong. It's not supposed to be like this. You're supposed to be like them. It's too late to change anything because I won't change. I won't try anymore. Nothing in wrong with me. Nothing is going on. Everything is fine!" Jiyong sounded like he was trying to convice himself more then Seunghyun, who was staring at him with a very blank expression. It made Jiyong angrier for some reason and he really didn't know why. Buzz. Buzz. Jiyong began shaking, but he tried to push it off to continue on his raging. "But you! How did you, just what, why... I don't understand! I just, I want to go back to my world. Where everything is about how no one knows, how no one can see. Where I can be numb and not have to worry about anything else. You can't change it Seunghyun-sshi! I'm perfectly fine!" 

Seunghyun was still for a moment,just staring at the battered boy who was trying so hard to fight. "You think this," he picked up one of Jiyong's hands that had begun shaking the second the phone went off,"is fine? You think someone has the right to do this Ji? Whatever it is that's going on has broken you, can't you see that?" He shook his head, putting his hand to his cheek and rubbing his jaw again. It was clear that now Seunghyun was getting angry too, but was it at Jiyong, or for him?

Jiyong rolled his eyes once, his anger flaring. Even he didn't know why exactly he was angry, but he was, and it was getting worse the more Seunghyun tried to pry. It was because Seunghyun had no right to know anything about him,especially not something this personal. "Look, I'm just a stupid high schooler who can't take the stress-"

"Take that back," Seunghyun growled, taking Jiyong by surprise. His eyes were sharp,glaring. 

"W-What?" The tone of Seunghyun's voice almost made Jiyong fall backwards. The younger boy was nervous now,angry still, but nervous. One thing Seunghyun never failed to have, power. He was full of power. And that was the one thing Jiyong always failed to have. Would he be able to win against this guy? Jiyong knew he was in deep, but maybe he was deeper then he thought. Maybe he should just dig a ditch and lay in it already to save Seunghyun the trouble of doing it with this petty fight.

"You know what," he paused, his head dropping slightly as if he was embarased suddenly, "I'm going to tell you something and you aren't to say anything until I'm done, arrasso?" 

Jiyong thought about it. Buzz. Buzz. His eyes were hard, and it looked like he was trying to be strong even through the terror that had latched onto his body, causing him to wince when Seunghyun raised his voice, and shake violently even though nothing was going to strike him. After a moment he nodded his head,pulling his knees up to his chest and watched Seunghyun.

Seunghyun sat indian style,taking a breath before looking at Jiyong. The gaze that came from him made Jiyong's face burn again,and he was forced to advert his own towards the grass. He also heard a softer voice in Seunghyun, almost as if the older was afraid too, but that was impossible, this was Seunghyun, right? The guy who had confidence in his step, pride in his heart, but most of all, a reason too. 

There was a deep breath, and then he began. "Honestly, the way you are talking about yourself is ing disgusting, and I hate it. Not to mention you are lying to me again Jiyong- Dont' say it." Seunghyun saw Jiyong's mouth open to intervene,and caught him before he could say anything more. "I want, I want to basically kill something right now. I want to kill anything that has made this part of you. You're scared right now, and you're angry that I found out. I bet you're thinking of running for your life right now and never seeing me again. You aren't okay Jiyong,but I want to make you okay. I want to show you what I've seen in you. Like a week ago when I had to chase you around the breakroom because you took my hat? You were possibly the cutest thing I'd seen so bright and playful. Or the  way you enter a room with an actual smile on your face, and I have to admit, you're smile was brighter then the lights. I even found myself starting to like some of the things that you like that I hated. You're so special to me and I didn't understand why. I worried about you more then I should have, simple things could make me laugh, I've been going crazy wanting to make you laugh. And I'm going to finally admit this to myself right now, you've gotten under my skin worse then anyone else has. I want to protect you Jiyong-ah."

Could Jiyong just crawl into a hole and cry some more? Seunghyun just plainly told Jiyong that he liked him, a lot by the sound of it, and he never expected it. There was nowhere that Jiyong expected that maybe, just maybe, someone would care for him. Jiyong didn't want to want that, but he did, and he felt so selfish for wanting to be needed that it made him angry. Jiyong was breathless. There was no idea what to say or do going through his mind. Could he tell Seunghyun that he wanted him back? It was all Jiyong had wanted for the past weeks, hell, it was all he wanted when he first saw the attractive man. Seunghyun filled his thoughts, inspired him in his writing, but most of all, he started bringing back a part of him that he had lost for no one knows how long.

Jiyong was scared. Seunghyun had crawled inside of him and began busting all of the peices that held the fake exterior he used together. Now they were leaking and flooding out over everything, and no matter how hard Jiyong tried to repair them, there were always the gaps. Not to mention every time he attempted to fix one, Seunghyun had another one broken. And now the real him, the real Jiyong,was leaking through onto the green grass.

Seunghyun took the few moments of silence to curse himself in his head, but it didn't seem like he regretted what he had said. "I'll go now. I just wanted you to know in case, well, in case it made any difference." 

Seunghyun shifted,making to stand up and leave. He had said what he wanted, and he probably assumed that he wasn't going to get to hear the reason as to why Jiyong was like this, but something stopped him. Jiyong wrapped his arms around Seunghyun's tightly,pulling him backwards. Jiyong didn't want Seunghyun to leave. Jiyong wouldn't let him. "No,no,no,no. Please,please stay." Buzz. Buzz.

The pain in Jiyong's voice matched the pain Seunghyun had earlier when he asked about the lies, and Seunghyun winced at it. He sat back down next to Jiyong, who was still holding tightly onto his arm, and sighed. "Let me see your phone Ji."

Jiyong jumped back, but his arms were still around the older boys,and he looked like he was going to cry. "You'll get mad at me." 

Seunghyun's eyes widened,and he looked at the poor,frail boy. Was that why he was so scared? No, there was something more. There had to be. "I'm not going to look through it, I'm going to put my number in it. I know you aren't going to tell me anything, but when you do, I want to know that second."

Jiyong bit his lip. There was no way I can tell Seunghyun about this. He'd probably tell me to go tell the principle like everyone always does when it comes to bullies, or to it up. But it hurts. I don't want to lie anymore. Not to him.. Slowly, he picked up his phone,checking the messages on it. There were three from the number that made him want to throw his phone against a wall to never be used again, but he needed the device even if he didn't like it. There were times he had to contact people, and people needed to contact him, so he kept it, but right now he wished he'd never even gotten one. 

Wats wrong Jiyongie. 2 cool 2 play with us?

Wat? Theres 10 mins of lunch? Wats that mean?

I'm coming to play with you Jiyong.

The last message was a direct response of the second, and he took the time to write every word out to scare Jiyong more. Jiyong was being pushed to the lava again. Then Jiyong realized something. Siwon was coming to see him. Seunghyun was with him. Siwon was going to meet Seunghyun. Siwon was going to meet Seunghyun.

Jiyong looked around, everywhere and anywhere. So far, Siwon wasn't anywhere enough to be seen. He pushed away from Seunghyun, getting a surprised noise from the older, who was now looking at him like he was crazy. Jiyong grabbed Seunghyun's backpack and pushed it towards him as he tried to pull him up. Seunghyun,noticing the distress, didn't move. He must have realized that this was one step closer to figuring out Kwon Jiyong. 

"Please hyung, listen to me. As my friend, please go." Jiyong was sitting on his shins again,begging Seunghyun to listen to him and go somewhere else. Anywhere at all, and he didn't care what would happen at this point. Even if Seunghyun hated him forever, he couldn't let them meet. There was no way in hell that Jiyong would let his hyung know just how worthless he really was.

"Jiyong-ah, listen to me right now. Tell me what the is going on. Let me help you." Seunghyun was gripping at Jiyong's shoulders,holding him upright because the younger boy was collapsing in on himself again like he was going to cry until his eyes bled tears. Seunghyun had, had enough of these stupid games. Jiyong was too good to be going through this whether he knew it or not.

"I don't want you to know! I don't want anyone to know! I'm not going to ruin anyone elses life with mine, that'd be too selfish. I can't do it Seunghyun. Please listen to me and go!" Jiyong was a second away from breaking, just screaming everything to the world so they knew how pathetic of a human being he was. Why couldn't he just win something? 

"That's not selfish Jiyong. It's called you need someone,and right now, you need me, don't you?" Yes, Seunghyun was asking this question. His voice so soft like he was scared that he was going to be denied. "Because I might just need you Jiyong. I need you to be safe." 

Siwon was crossing the quad now, Jiyong saw him with Kyuhyun, Shindong, and someone else he didn't recognize. They were all sweaty from the soccer playing, and Jiyong wondered if this was going to be the worst day of his life. Answer? Yes. This was also going to be the day he might be sent to the hospital because of an major bleed-out because he knew what would happen when he was alone.

"Alright Seunghyun,okay? You win! There is a Junior who bullies me everyday and he's been sending me scary text messages all of lunch,okay? I'm terrified of him, but I don't want anyone else involved. Right now he's coming over to beat me some more, so I want you to go.  I don't want you to get involved. You wouldn't be able to stop it. No one can!"

Seunghyun sat there,his mouth open in shock, his face contorted in pure anger. Some of it was because Jiyong was right. Seunghyun couldn't be there to protect Jiyong everyday because he only went to school 2/5 days a week not counting the half day. How could he protect him every day? Seunghyun began grinding his teeth,and Jiyong was flailing his hands around now.

"Do you trust me, Jiyong-ah?" 

Jiyong looked at him like he was crazy, which Seunghyun definitely was. He wanted to scream 'no I don't you crazy lunatic', but he nodded against better judgement. 

Seunghyun smiled,brushing a strand of hair away from the youngers face. "Let me see how tough this guy really is. I told you, I want you to be okay, and I promise you I will make sure you are someday."

Jiyong threw his hands up at his face in an exaggerated motion that made Seunghyun want to smile. Did the blonde boy know how precious he was, even when he was angry and wanted to attack Seunghyun? "You can't help me though. You'll make it worse! Please don't Seunghyun. How do you plan to help me when you aren't here all the time?" He yelled the last part, and Seunghyun smiled at him to try and break through to him.

"Jiyongie." Siwon sang, he was still a good distance away, about 3/4 the way there with his friends. The very voice made Jiyong want to run screaming, and Seunghyun beat the person with a chair.

"That doesn't mean I don't know a way to help you. Let me help you Jiyong-ah."

Can you really help me? Can you, save me? The way Seunghyun said his name, the way he used an honorific for someone special to you, the way he was speaking to him right now. Jiyong believed that he might just be able too. Jiyong scooted to sit next to Seunghyun,who smiled,while Jiyong bit at his lip.

"Please protect me hyung. I'm so scared." He cried,finally just letting everything go. It was gone,and over. All he could do was sit back and watch everything play out. 

Seunghyun grunted,his strong hand taking Jiyong's shakey one and placed a gently kiss on it before setting it down. Jiyong's cheeks burned, and his hand tingled like crazy where the lips met his skin. "Don't worry, I plan too."