Jiyong looked downwards, only fascination he had in anything at the moment was the cold plastic tile flooring. That stupid white floor. Jiyong knew that he had played into the hands of Seunghyun so badly when he showed his feelings. He had hoped maybe if he fought long enough that he'd give up on trying to have him even though he knew Jiyong wanted him, but that didn't seem to be the case. Seunghyun was a determined peice of that was hell bent on getting Jiyong to give in to him. This was definitely going to make or break him in every meaning of the words. Either he gave his heart away to be disintegrated, or he fought until he was alone. Jiyong was getting desperate to keep inself in one peice. "How can you do that,Seunghyun-sshi? How can you sit here and lead me on like this?" 

 

Seunghyun's eyes widened. When did the convorsation take such a drastic toll? "What are you talking about?" His voice got louder in panicked question. When Jiyong winced, he started to feel bad for it, but he realized that now wasn't the time to be apologizing for a slightly too loud voice. The look in the man's eyes darkened as he tried to realize what it was that he had done wrong when he thought he had done everything right. Didn't he?

 

"You sit there and you play all these mind games with me, but you don't know how you feel!  I've asked twice now, and all I've heard is 'I don't know why but I feel this, oh maybe it's because you're my dongsaeng'. How can you sit there and think this okay? Do you know that it hurts?" Now Jiyong was yelling at him as he pushed off the ground and stomped a few steps away. He folded his arms and then pulled his hair with one of his hands.

 

"Yah!" Seunghyun jumped up, grabbing his hand to avoid further self injuring himself. Most people didn't do that when they got upset though, so why did he? Jiyong wasn't a masochist or something,right? Jiyong immediately ripped his hand away,sticking his tounge out at the boy and doing it again. Seunghyun sighed heavily as he grapped both of Jiyong's hands and held them upwards. "Look at me."

 

Jiyong ignored the command, looking everywhere else but Seunghyun. Stubbornness was a trait of Jiyong's that was there so much more then need be. There was time and time again that stupid emotion would come out to play, and it always made him angrier at himself every time it did happen because there times where he regretted it, but that wasn't until it was later. Even if his stubbornness made everyone crazy and his life a mess, it was something that refused to really go away. Jiyong thought of it as one of his true friends. The ones that never really go away.

 

"Yah,if you don't look at me..!" Seunghyun yelled,this time not feeling as guilty for screaming at the younger. It seemed like that was the only way to get his attention because he hesistated, but began looking up. Seunghyun sighed loudly as Jiyong dropped his head again, still refusing to look at him. "You're really annoying sometimes,Jiyong." 

 

Jiyong's eyes opened in anger, head snapping up to Seunghyun to make a smarty remark but suddenly lost all will too. The moment his head came up with his mouth opened to speak, he found himself being backed up against a wall with his eyes closed and a mix of different feelings. Seunghyun always seemed to know what to do,like now, where he was passionately bruising the youngers lips. Jiyong stood against the wall, being held there by his hands, as he melted against the older,pushing up slightly to meet the olders lips. Seunghyun stood above him with his back arched to meet the younger and a leg between the blonde's own, until he was forcefully pushed backwards a few steps.

 

Jiyong sat there,completely unsure of anything at that point. His hands came up to his face, his breathing became incredibly irregular before he tugged at the strands of his hair again, but quickly let his hands drop to his chest. There was complete silence as Seunghyun stared at Jiyong, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward. "W-Why do you..Why do you keep doing this? Stop messing with me!" 

 

"Maybe I'm not!" Seunghyun yelled back. Now he was breathing hard too; there were visible movements in his shoulders as he inhaled and exhaled because of the anger he felt mixing with the complete and utter want. "You kissed me back Jiyong,which means you feel the same way I do, don't you?" That was one thing the older boy payed very much attention to. Even though he kept trying to admit his feelings, which came out horrible and even he knew that, there wasn't a response of whether it was mutual or onesided. Even though he wouldn't admit it, Seunghyun knew he probably wouldn't have stopped even if Jiyong didn't feel the same because of the overwhelming need to be close to him. A selfishness hotter then a fire was tormenting him, but what could he do now that he had fallen inside of it? "That's why I don't know how I feel, but now I do, Jiyong. Tell me. Tell me how you feel. I've told you three times now." 

 

Even through Seunghyun's beg, Jiyong was still fighting himself and everyone knew it, possibly even a blind woman from Israel. Jiyong hissed something incoherent to even himself before slamming the side of his fist against the wall he was recently pushed against. Seunghyun winced at this,not exactly putting everything together. "You know how I feel! Just like I know that you are doing this because you want to "protect me" but it's hurting me! You don't actually want to be with me! Stop it Seunghyun!" His eyes widened when he realized what he had done. Not only had he wrongly addressed a hyung, but he'd yelled things at him and it was something he'd never done before. Immediately he bowed,growling at the world. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." 

 

Seunghyun walked closer finally, watching this sight had made him hurt. It made him writhe in pain as if there was a blade in his chest and someone was twirling it around in circles in the tender flesh just to watch him writhe and wiggle while he screamed profanities from the sheer burning of the torture. He stood in front of Jiyong,looking at him with hard set eyes. "You keep holding back from me. Kiss me,Jagiya, and tell me what you feel."

 

Jiyong grumbled something and began punching at Seunghyun's chest,still trying to fight, but honestly, he was tired. Torn apart, Insecure, Really unbalanced, Extremely lonely, and Drowning in my his own mind. If he gave in now, would it crush him in the end? Most likely. Seunghyun completely ignored the hits to his chest as he crushed Jiyong to him again,sending tingles all throught the younger's body as their lips met together somewhere in the middle. His throat tightened,and he gripped tightly to the material of Seunghyun's shirt as he bit at the older's lips. Seunghyun smirked into the kiss,putting his hands on the small hips of the boy to pull against his own waist,gaining full access to the wet cave of the younger boy. Jiyong shivered at the sensations that tingled all throughout his body. It crackled and burned like a fire, leaving goosebumps along his skin. He was drowning in the sweet affection of his hyung,losing everything he had, mind, body, and soul.

 

Seunghyun pulled away,leaving a whimper from the younger to be leftover as he looked down at beautiful dark eyes. Softly, he trailed his hands up to the boys middle back, holding the frail boy against his broad chest that was muscled and chisled from cut edge work. With his hands holding the boy, Seunghyun leaned forward and placed his head on his shoulder "I  really want you Jiyong. I can't continue to try and deny my feelings by saying I don't know because I'm afraid of losing this. I really want you."

 

Jiyong responded by wrapped one arm around the boys neck, and entangling the other in the long black hair of the man he admired for the last month. "I like you a lot more then I should,hyung. It scares me. I don't know if I can do this," Seunghyun gripped the younger tighter,grumbling slightly at the words as he kissed the youngers neck softly. Jiyong smiled sadly as he continued,"I can't be with you anyway. My family wouldn't let it ever work out. All I can do is admire from afar like I had been."  

 

This made Seunghyun raised his head,looking at the very-close-to-sobbing look of the younger,frowning deeply as he brushed blonde strands from the eyes of the younger. "Stop putting yourself after everyone else. I don't care if they don't like it. Hell, I don't care if I get beaten with sticks. This is something I want to pursue, and you can't argue that you don't." Everyone knew it, it was too utterly obvious. 

 

Jiyong sighed,running his fingers through the hair of the older boy. It was nice to watch the way the strands flowed softly through the white boney hands of the korean boy. There was so much at stake,how could he let Seunghyun do this for him? Just because Jiyong needed loving and affection a little more than the next person, didn't mean he could let Seunghyun ruin his life for him. That would be crazy, and selfish, and utterly impossible. No matter how much Jiyong did want Seunghyun, he was going to put the older boy's life first. He was going to put Seunghyun first.  "My dad would fire you, and you'd get ridiculed by the whole school, and it's just too much." 

 

Seunghyun scoffed against the younger boy. "You're saying that because you've run out of reasons to deny it,aren't you?"

 

A soft smile broke Jiyong's bruised lips. Stupid boy always knows.. "Yes, I am. Why do we have to talk about this so much anyway?"

 

"Because I don't think I'll be okay without it. When I want something, I go after it, especially if I can feel the way I do right now because of it." 

 

Why did Jiyong have to make it like this? Seunghyun knew he was crazy stubborn, and he knew that there were times where Jiyong was hard as hell to handle, but this, it felt like he clutching sand. It was like he was desperately trying to cling to this one peice of hope that was just slipping through his fingers more and more every time. There was a way to hold onto it,right? Couldn't there be a way that Seunghyun could hold onto Jiyong? The fragile boy he met and cared so deeply about? In a few months, he might even  be able to say that he loves him. Maybe one day Seunghyun could love him. Maybe he could be loved in return by Jiyong. That thought in itself was the reason Seunghyun kept trying, because he had a small hope that Jiyong could love him one day.

 

Jiyong sighed,looking up at Seunghyun. He met the chocolate eyes and for a moment, forgot what he was going to even say. So when he remembered a few moments later, it came out awkwardly. It wasn't stuttered, but it had a kind of feel to it that was saying 'Jiyong has lost this battle'. "Why can't I push you away? I can't deny you. I can't lie to you. It's just some overwhelming urge to care for you. I've never felt this before."

 

Seunghyun chuckled and kissed Jiyong's lips softly, much softer then the way they had earlier when they were devouring eachother as if one of them just got back from a War of twenty years. "It can be new to us both. Will you please, please let me have you for myself? I've been crazy about you for too long, Ji." 

 

Jiyong gave an exagerated look, his eyes rolling nonchalantly as he nuzzled his head into the crook of his nodoubt soon-to-be-boyfriend's neck. "It's only be a month,hyung. Stop being dramatic." 

 

Seunghyun laughed heartily. The vibrations gently rocking against Jiyong as he felt Seunghyun's body move. "Actually, I've known you for longer then a month. I suppose I look pretty different though, so that might be why you don't recognize me. I didn't recognize you until  like last week anyway."

 

Jiyong's jaw fell as he looked up at the older. The exact moment he was about to ask what he meant, the door began to open, immediately making the boys rip apart from eachother. Seunghyun faced the door, while Jiyong turned so he was facing the opposite direction as he dabbed at his red face and tried to make sure he wasn't going to start crying or something stupid like that. Everything suddenly got so much more complicated. And it wasn't even Jiyong who did it this time!