You didn’t look back at Doojoon, despite him calling your name repeatedly. If anything, his calls made you walk faster, wanting to put as much distance between yourself and your half-brother, Kikwang. You impatiently jab the elevator button, slightly wary that the two of them may be charging down the hall after you, but the sound of footsteps was nonexistent, only the sound of your shaky breaths filled the tiny hall.

You were actually quite shocked to find your half-brother inside the ramen restaurant. You hadn’t seen him or your parents for more than a year – or possibly more, you couldn’t quite remember – and it was rare that they would be in South Korea at all. There was something about him that always made you feel on edge, but you felt that you did a good job in hiding your uneasiness, at least in front of Doojoon.

The elevator doors opened after what seemed like an eternity and you quickly went inside and pressed your floor number and then the “close doors” button, still rather anxious. As you waited for the elevators to reach your floor, you managed to calm down with each tiny “ding” of the elevator. The rest of the way to your apartment went by in a blur, as you were still thinking hard about Kikwang. As you kicked off your shoes and went into your room, you felt a sharp pang in your head as you tried to think about why you always felt so uncomfortable around him.

You involuntarily let out a gasp of pain and your hands flew to your temples, as you tried to massage it. This wasn’t exactly the first time you had felt that pain, but it had definitely been a while since you’ve felt it. It only ever seemed to happen whenever you talked to Kikwang or your Father. Your Mother, on the other hand, was someone you could only imagine, as she had died when you were very young, or so you were told. There were only bits and pieces of your childhood that you could piece together, something you found highly unusual about yourself. You never actually had any recollection of Kikwang in your memories, and the only things you remembered about your Father was that he spoiled you a lot, but there was something a little off about his relationship with you.

Although now, he still treated you the same, spoiling you, buying everything for you, and even paying for your studies, he never seemed to be quite all there. It was as if buying you things was his way of filling a void, but you could never figure out what it was. You kept it to yourself that you were excited and relieved to find out that you would be studying away from your family, halfway across the world. In some ways, this led to an estranged relationship with your Father, and so the mere mention of him now seemed to put you on edge.

As for memories of your Mother, there was only ever one thing you could remember, and it was a very vague memory. You couldn’t even be sure that it was a memory of your Mother, because it always came in the form of a dream, a dream you seemed to always remember when you wake up the following morning.

In the dream there was a woman in a floral dress, curved up into a smile but her eyes were sad. It was just the two of you on a deserted road. You weren’t sure how old you were, but you seemed to be conversing with her, and she mostly did a lot of nodding and a few smiles, but she never uttered a word. Then you always asked her, “Who are you?” and just as she would open to respond, a flash of light appeared behind her, and a terrible scream echoed in your ears, until you realized that it was coming from you. You would always wake up shivering, with tears streaming from your eyes. As well, a sharp headache would suddenly come into play, and you wouldn’t be able to move for a while, until you slowly calmed down.