A/N: There is content regarding looks that might offend some sones....read at your own discretion.

There is a code within the idols. An unspoken code that ensures that celebrities will respect and protect the privacy of other celebrities. A code that makes certain that the idols will not give away private information. A code that guarantees that idols will not betray others to the media. A code that assures that we are safe amongst ourselves.

Today, I am about to break this code.

It has been an exactly one year since SNSD broke up, but this is irrelevant to the reason I desired to wake up today. No, as of today, it has been precisely five years since I was humiliated by the one I love.

“Oppa, why? Why don’t you love me? Why can’t you love me? Wae? Wae? Wae? Can’t you see I love you with all my heart?”

“Sunny-ah, calm down and think for a second. You have had too much to drink and the alcohol is messing with your mind.”

“Oppa, I know I’ve been drinking. I know that I’m drunk. I even know that I’m too young to be drinking. But do you know? Do you know why I am so drunk? I’m drinking to ease the pain. I’m hurting too much. My heart hurts too much. I drink to forget, but for a while the soju hasn’t been working. So, that's why I’m here. That’s why I came to you. Today, I am telling you that the cause of my pain is you. I love you so much it hurts. Why can’t you like me?

“Sunny-ah, I do like you. I just don’t like like you. And I’m sure there are many other guys who-“

“NO OPPA! It’s only you! And I match everything in your ideal type! Why can’t you love me?”

“Look, those ideal types are scripted by the company! You of all people should know that!”

“But, some of it must be true!”

“It is, but there are somethings we leave out. We don’t have to spill our hearts out to the public! Yes, what I have said publically about my ideal type is all true, but that doesn’t mean that its all of it!”

“Then what is it that you haven’t shared, Oppa?”

“I, uh, my ideal type is… Well, you see, I like girls who have, uh, a certain type of nose… You know what my favorite animal is right? Of course you do! So, anyway, I like girls who have, um, upturned noses. You know, noses that look like pig noses! I just find it really cute, uh, but not like when they have boogers….”

Just then, his phone rang. Unlucky for me, his manager needed him. He bid me goodbye and left the bar.

And as the door swung behind him, I took out my own phone and dialed.”

Though we had been stripped of all belongings given to us by the company when our contracts were terminated, I still had contacts with some of the SM staff. I had called one of the stylists unnies and asked her to tell me about every Super Junior related thing coming up, as she owed me a favor. For the past few weeks she has been telling me everything from their schedules to what they were eating for lunch. Obviously, I didn’t care what the other members were doing, my ears were only hungry for news of him. So when the stylist told me that he had told her what he was planning to do during his day off, I cried tears of absolute bliss. It was time.

I arrive near the coast. With my remaining money, I rent out a beach house for the week. I unpack everything that I brought with me and  change into the swim suit I had bought for this very occasion. Skipping, I head to the beach.

I plant my feet into the warm sand and take a deep breath. The salty air filled my lungs. My heart races. I look to sun and the sun looks back at me. I smile. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining and poofy white clouds surround it, decorating it. It’s a majestic effect.

Destiny couldn’t be clearer. It is fate.

I sit down and sink into the rough, but cozy sand. The breeze blows cool air into my face and shimmies the palm trees. I anxiously wait, running the plan through my head again and again to pass the time.

I am about to drift off, but thankfully my eyes are friends with my heart. They catch him walking across the sidewalk and alert my mind, my heart.

I jump up and run. There is no need for secrecy at a beach. The sand muffles my steps, and I look like any other girl running across strip of land that meets the ocean.

Another wonderful thing about the beach, no one finds it strange when I pounce on his back. It’s just a girl wanting her boyfriend to give her a piggy back ride. And it’s still completely normal when he falls to the ground, he was just surprised. No one suspects that I shoved a drug in his mouth that made him lose conscious. 

He will notice too, the weather, I mean. He will see this serendipity

It matches our names. Any one can see that.

I am Sunny and he is the Cloud Prince.

Today, I will make Yesung mine.

Five days later. I called him and asked him to come over to our dorm. I said I wanted to apologize. Since we were on a break, none of the SNSD members would be here.

An hour later the doorbell rang and I jumped to answer it. I threw open the door and to my shock, not only was he there, but all of Super Junior. And behind them….were my sisters. I stared with my mouth hanging open and fear shimmering in my eyes and all of them stared back with the same intensity.”

“Sunny! What happened? Did you get hurt? Are you okay?” a thousand voices called out to me.

During the time lapse, I realized that what had happened will actually work to my benefit. There is no way he can refuse me now.

“I’m fine guys!”, I smile, “Actually, I wanted to show you something. Everyone come on in!”

They fill into our dorm and I stand on the couch.

“Everyone, I’d like to make an announcement. A few days ago, I talked to someone special. And they told me something that made me decide to do this.”

I slowly removed the bandages on my nose and everyone gasped.

“Yesung Oppa told me that if I had a cute little piggy nose, I would meet everything in his ideal type. So Oppa,” I looked directly at him and smiled, “Now that I have  your favorite nose, will you love me?”

To my fury, there was great presence of awkwardness in the room.

After a few minutes, he spoke. His eyes didn’t have the softness they usually had and his voice was cold. “Sunny, you were drunk. You misunderstood. And even if I did like pig noses, that doesn’t mean you had to get one surgically. That’s low. I’m sorry, but my answer is still the same. I don’t like you. Not now, not ever.”

I stared and started to cry, on top of the sofa, in front of everyone.

Adding to my humiliation, Siwon got a call from their “manager” and claimed that they had to go. Even through my tears, I had seen Eunhyuk pull out his phone to call.

My sisters didn’t comfort me. They all stared for a bit and then left to do their own thing. I heard them muttering about how stupid I was.

I was stupid.

I drag the unconscious Yesung to the beach house and tie him to the bed. I kiss him once and stand over him as I wait for him to wake up. Anytime now.  

When he finally wakes up, he is scared, then glad to see me, then confused when I tell him why he is here, then he is scared again.

I don’t care. Today, I will make him mine.

I have gagged him so I don’t have to hear his pain when I mark him.

I take out my knife and slowly break into his skin. I cut in with my best knifewriting, forcing him to stay still as I carve letter and letter into his chest. S U N N Y. After I finish, I the blood. That’s what they do in vampire movies right? How I love vampires. 

When the blood starts to clot and heal, I move on to marking myself. This pain, I shall love. Yesung is weak and his arm is limp. I close his finger around the knife and hold onto his hand, guiding him as he carves his name onto my abdomen. I love this pain almost as much as I love Yesung.

I wait until my cuts start to heal before the I remove the gag.

“Sunny, you’ve gone psychotic! What the hell are you-”?

“Shh, baby, it’s all right. You are with me now. We are together at last. It is destiny!”

I move into kiss him, but he dodges me.

“Now, now, we don’t want anyone to get hurt do we?” I say as I press my knife against his neck.” He winced.

“Oppa, this is true love! Stop complaining and kiss me!” I close my eyes and I move in once again.

I mash my mouth against his, devouring his soft lips.

But then I open my eyes, and suddenly something is different.

My heart breaks at the sight of Yesung. His eyes are full of fear and agony.

Why am I doing this? I am hurting the one love. I am causing my beloved pain. I’m evil and cruel. My eyes fill with tears and I cannot see. I start to sob and soon enough am gasping for breath. When I finally gain control of myself, I look up.

The world breaks and my soul splits.

I have slit Yesung’s neck with my knife.

If I am not the devil, what am I?

The tears that stopped flowing only seconds ago are now a river flowing down my cheeks.

I hold my prince’s lifeless body in my arms and wail for who knows how long.

I untie the ropes restraining Yesung and tuck him into the bed, kissing him goodbye. I have killed the person who held my heart. I have killed myself as well.

I stumble into the next room. I begin the confession to my crime on my legs, hoping that my blood will run out before I finish.

I killed him. I murdered my love. I thought that my plan would work. I thought that I could make him love me. But I was a stupid bit ch. It is my fault. I apologize to everyone. His family, Super Junior, my sisters, the ELFS, and the SONES. Hate me and spit on my grave. I beg of you.

I have carved these words into my body and I still haven’t died yet. Why? I’m bleeding. I need to die! I need to go straight to hell! I crave my punishment!

Out of anger, I slit my wrists. I still haven't died! I stab my stomach. Immense pain rushes over me, but I still am not ing dead. I stab my chest. Nothing. I shove the blade through my neck.

WHY THE AM I STILL BREATHING?

I am too weak to lift the knife and stab my self anymore. So I wait.

Several minutes have gone by and I am still alive.

Through the window, I see the clouds have rolled in and the sun is hiding behind them. The irony…

An idea comes to me.

I hold my breath.

But, I am still waiting.

Kim Jongwoon, also know as Yesung, the main vocalist of popular boy band Super Junior, was found murdered in a beach house this morning. Authorities are still investigating, but the prime suspect has been revealed. Lee Soonkyu, also know as Sunny, a member of ex-girl group SNSD, who was found in the same beach house with a suicide note and confession carved into her body. We will keep you updated.