Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

For the first time in a long while, Jaejoong was looking forward to going to a party. He was tired of his emotions and hanging out with his friends who wanted to do everything in their power to make him feel better felt good.

His conscience still felt heavy, but at least Bryan knew and was in his corner.

In the grand scheme of things, this was nothing. In a few months, he would not even be able to remember how he felt about the whole thing. Hopefully.

It was just one kiss. 

A year of getting to know each other and two months of…dating?

In the grand scheme of his life, it was nothing. 

If he were to die when he gets to eighty, like most people did nowadays, this year and two months will have been .015% of his life. It would be nothing. Because it is nothing.

This, too, he would survive.

He entered the house in front of Jianyu and Jouji, letting Lilia hold his hand in a  firm grip. She smiled at him. A smile that said she would protect him—always. He returned it. It felt nice.

“There’s a lot of people,” Jouji commented, sliding next to Lilia. She nodded. “The music is nice.”

“It seems like this was the right decision,” Jianyu said and laughed.

Yeah. It was. Jaejoong thought ruefully.

“Wanna dance?” asked Lilia just as the song faded out and Megan Thee Stallion Body started reverberating throughout the house. She and a few other people, mainly young women, and a few men, screamed, and she started moving her hips to the beat. He laughed, tilting his head back as he did so and let her pull him further in the house, shayshaying past other dancers.

This is what he should have been doing since the beginning of summer, enjoying being with his friends, living in the moment. Who cared about love? That was stupid and was not real anyways. She turned around and began grinding on him, holding his hand over her shoulder. 

He followed her lead and jumped around with the rest of the party goers. He tried his best to clear his mind and just move his body. 

Truth be told, he’d rather be anywhere but here right now. He felt on the verge of crying.

The song ended and he told her he was going to get something to drink. He needed some alcohol in his system tonight. Something to take his mind off Yunho and his intense need to just break down at any moment and cry like a new born baby.

“,” he muttered under his breath as he pushed his way through the crowd. It felt like everyone under twenty-five was here tonight. Moving through the crowd by pushing and elbowing his way, as soon as he entered the kitchen, he bumped shoulder-first into a hard body. 

His body reacted before his eyes saw who it was. Chills cascaded down his spine, as if the hardness and warmth of that body was imprinted in his DNA. 

He rapidly lifted his gaze to stare into Yunho’s startled eyes. He was holding two red plastic party cups in his hand up high. The drinks had sloshed and wet his wrist.

They jumped away from each other.

“Sorry,” Jaejoong barely choked out, dropping his gaze, and he tried to slip back out of the kitchen. 

The hell?

Why here? Why now!

Jaejoong wanted to get out of this house and this party as soon as he could.

He was supposed to be healing from him, not thinking about, not being in the same party as him. Why now? Why did they always end up going to the same damned party!

Jaejoong felt firm, blazing fingers grabbed his wrist. As soon as the fire started sizzling through him, Yunho released him as rapidly. Yunho slid up behind him, Jaejoong froze and blood rushed to his ears, and he said hoarsely, “Don’t.”

Panting as if he had just ran a marathon in one minute, scared for his health, Jaejoong slowly looked up and behind him at the bane of his existence. 

“Huh?” 

There they stood in the busy kitchen of a random guy Jaejoong did not even know, with both of their friends just a few feet away, staring each other down.  

“Here.” Yunho handed him one of the cups. 

“Huh?” As dumbfounded as he was, he still accepted the cup with stiff fingers.

“It’s just juice.”

What the hell?

“Thank you?”

Yunho rewarded him with a stiff version of that smile of his that Jaejoong adored and made to turn away. 

It hurt just like it did last night to stand there and watch Yunho walk away from him and watch him mingle in the crowd. It hurt his soul. He wished he could tell him to stop. 

However, he no longer had the right to ask anything of him.

-----------------

“Where were you?” Jianyu asked him when he found his friends again.

“Nowhere.” He spied the drink in Lilia’s hand. “Can I have a sip?”

“Get your own,” she said, reaching over and grabbing the beer bottle in her boyfriend’s hand and handing it to him with a cheeky grin.

“My spit is all over that,” Jouji said with a smug look.

Jaejoong snagged the bottle, wiped it, and said,“Like that has ever stopped me before.” He took a large swing, downing most of the drink. Wiping his lips with the back of his hand, he said, “I just want to get drunk. Let’s go get a drink with me.” He grinned at Jouji, grabbed Lilia’s hand and twirled her around.

“I know I said alcohol solves the initial sting of a heartbreak, but don’t get too wasted now. The hangover is not nice.”

“Whatever. I am sad.” And his voice caught as he said the last part of his statement.

“Here.” Lilia handed him her cup. He chugged it in two gulps.

“Let’s hold on drinking for now.” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “Let’s dance.”

He nodded and followed her lead.

He needed to get drunk, dance, and soak in his friends’ affection and high mood to not break down and start crying.

Because that was all he wanted to do right now.

“One more drink and we’ll dance.”

“JJ!”

“Please.” He pleaded, rubbing his hands together. 

“Okay. One trip to the kitchen!” She shouted, following after him.

———

Jaejoong had too much to drink. 

He was unsteady on his feet. He was stepping all on Lilia’s feet and almost fell on her way too many times, but she kept on dancing with him.

They were giggling all over each other like the two drunks they were when Lilia, who was twerking all over him, momentarily turned rigid,  jumped up, flipped around, grabbed his hand and began dragging him roughly through the crowd.

“Hey, I...” He tripped and had to have her turn around to steady him. 

“Let’s go,” she said when he simply stood, swaying as he tried to stabilize his vision. 

She yanked him after her.

“What’s going on? Slow down, Lil! I am about to—” He bumped into someone. He mumbled an apology.

LIlia did not slow down. In fact, she picked up steam. She was like a bulldozer.

“We’re leaving!”

It all happened in a split of a second.

“What the—” He maneuvered his arm to where he was the one holding her and pulled her into a stop. 

 “What’s wrong?” 

She looked frantic. “Let’s just leave.”

He lowered his eyelids in an attempt to focus on her blurry face. He was confused. This was not right. His skin tingled and turned cold when he realized what could have probably made her mood sour so fast. “Did you see Yun—”

“Let’s just leave!” She snapped, reaching for his fingers and she tried to drag him out.

But Yunho!

As he stumbled after her, Jaejoong turned around and surveyed the crowd. His eyes landed on whom he had never wanted to see for the rest of his life. Nathen.

He was standing in front of Yunho. They were talking. Passionately.

“Stop. Lilia, stop!” He snapped, yanking his hand free. He almost went down. She quickly steadied him and grabbed his hands and fused their fingers together.

“Let’s just go. Huh?”

His heart started racing. “Wha—Nathen, he’s back?” He didn’t know why his statement sounded like a question.

Nathen was back and he was with Yunho. Talking to Yunho. He said they were no longer friends, so why were they talking?

He was right. He had made the right choice.

Yunho was a ing liar. He never changed. They could never be together.

He felt sick to his stomach.

“You’re right. Let’s lea—” He did not get the chance to finish. 

Just as he made to turn around and leave with Lilia, Yunho punched Nathen hard enough to send the guy falling on his . The two had created enough commotion to get all eyes to turn to them.  

“Let’s leave,” a stunned Lilia finished for both of them, not moving an inch. 

Nathen jumped up, looking like he was in a ringe. He was a few inches shorter than Yunho, but stockier. Wiping his nose and seeing his blood gave him a flush to his face. His hands were flying and he punched Yunho.

“Oh my gosh! We need to leave.” Someone said.

“They’re ing fighting!” Another shouted.

It was a proper fight, complete with punches and the two young men tumbling on the ground before the music stopped and people decided that as nice as it was to film the two friends—old friends(?)—fighting, separating them might be a good idea, too.

An astonished Jaejoong watched in bewilderment as Nathen reached for or an equally as indignant Yunho while the two were being restricted by multiple people’s arms. 

Nathen shouted, “You ing gay piece of ! I am going to ing kill your and shove a broom up it. You would like that, right?” he jeered and tried to spit at Yunho.

What the hell!

Jaejoong felt as if the world was trembling.

“What the hell?” Lilia voiced his prior thought.

Yunho elbowed someone in the face and launched for Nathen, screaming like a wild animal. He was held back steadfast. He never got to punch Nathen’s face in for his comment.

“Hey! There you two are. Let’s get out of here.” Jouji's voice pulled Jaejoong back from his trance. 

“Where’s Jianyu?” Lilia asked, letting her boyfriend grab her hand. He began leading them out. “He’s already outside.”

“JJ, let’s go!” Jouji smacked his arm, drawing his attention back to his frowning face. He listlessly nodded his obedience.

The last thing he heard as they reached the threshold of the door was someone threatening to call the police if they did not simmer down.

The three friends were not the only group trying to get out of the house.

The party was over.

“What just happened in there?” Lilia asked once they were in Jianyu’s car.

The mute Jaejoong was just thinking the same thing.

Lilia was the first person to start laughing. Jaejoong looked over at her in shock.

“Let’s stop by Dan’s for pancakes.”

“At this time?” Jouji asked, turning to look back at her. She was sitting in the back with Jaejoong.

She nodded, giddy. “Yes! Tonight is a great, fantastic night!”

“We just almost got the cops called to a house party we were at?” Jianyu’s statement came out as a question. He looked and sounded confused.

“Why do you sound like such a nerd!” She leaned forward and started laughing.

All three guys shared a look.

 Jouji took one for the team and asked her, “And this is all so hilarious because?”

“You are serious right now?” She straightened her posture and wiped the corners of her eyes and the corners of her lips lifted up.

“Yes.”

“Yunho and Nathen were fighting. The Yunho and Nathen!”

“So, they’re not friends anymore, big deal.” Jaejoong felt confident enough that his voice would not betray him to finally chime in. 

“Yes, my boy, it is a big deal,” she shouted, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him. “Those two ers are getting what’s coming for them. Two big trash with equally as big egos cannot remain friends for a long time.”

Jaejoong grew cold at her admonition.

She was too excited to notice his shift in expression.

“Do you really think he is gay?” Jianyu asked, coming to a red light and stopping.

“Who?”

“Didn’t you hear Nathen calling Yunho gay?”

If Lilia was a light bulb, she would have just gone up a few hundred watts in electrical current.

“Who knows! Maybe that’s why he was such a ed up, poor excuse of a human being in high school.” She paused to giggle and clap her hands in glee. “Poor guy was deep in denial and in the closet!” She shook her head, her smile large. Inhaling, she flopped against the back of her seat and sagged there in satisfaction. “Karma. I love it.”

Jaejoong said nothing, sitting there like a rock.

Lilia looked at him and smiled, making him feel as if he had to return it. He tried to, but he knew it did not look sincere. She did not seem to care.

“This has been an amazing night,” she said, looking around at her friends, though the statement felt like it was directed at Jaejoong.

“This calls for a celebratory pancake. So, to Dan’s we go.” And she clapped, chuckling with such evil that it filled Jaejoong with mortification.

“I, myself, am actually in the mood for some good waffles or pancakes,” Jianyu said, winking at Lilia who simply shook her head in good spirits.

“You can get whatever you want, sweetheart,” she said cheerily.