Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town and country, and during an ambiguous time period.

Jaejoong paused and inhaled, the smell of french fries filtering in. He took in Yunho’s large, muscular back and bowed head. He had been waiting for ten minutes. 

Jaejoong had arrived on time, early even, but he had been too scared to walk into the McDonald's, preferring to stay in his car and talk himself into going in.

What a sophisticated meet-up spot they settled on, he wondered bitterly.

Clearing his throat, he walked toward him, clenching his fingers into fists.

This is going to be quick, he repeated with each step he took.

Standing behind him, he cleared his throat and said, “Hi.”

Yunho’s head snapped up and he flipped around and bombarded Jaejoong with a smile. He swore in all of his dramatics, his heart stopped for a split second. 

“You’re here.”

, now he felt guilty for being late.

“I…umm…Traffic.” He shrugged, sliding into the booth opposite from him.

They stared at each other in complete silence for a few seconds before Yunho asked, sitting up straight, “Want to get anything?” “No. I am full. But you go ahead.”

“The fries here are good.”

“No, I am good. Really.” He looked down. “So, umm.” 

Look up! Be brave.

He looked up and met his dark, intense gaze. It made the situation even more intense and nerve-wrecking.

Jaejoong felt like he needed to say something; he needed to fill in the stretch of silence between them, and he opened his stupid mouth. When he got nervous, Jaejoong tended to lose control of his mouth, which was never better exemplified than a few seconds later: “You really do have an intense gaze.”

Yunho looked flustered, surprised, and a bit confused, but he still looked amused. There was a faint glint to his eyes when Jaejoong said that.

Yunho looked a bit ridiculous as he processed what Jaejoong had said and what to do next. Jaejoong laughed. And it served to help him calm down. It lasted only a few seconds, however. The moment Yunho talked, all his bravado shattered.

A smile ghosted his mouth. “I am glad I could make you laugh,” he said, voice tender.  The smile faded as quickly as it had come, and the grim look came back and his gaze darken into two dark, serious pit.

Jaejoong shuddered and looked away. His stomach clenched with nerves. He was not here to rekindle anything with Yunho. He needed to bring a swift death to whatever this was.

“Yeah.” He swallowed the ball of nerves in his throat. “Me too.” He scratched his nape nervously. “I mean: we need to talk.”

Yunho gave him a resolute nod, but no one said or did anything for the next thirty seconds or so. They simply stared around in nervous silence before Jaejoong said, his impatience rearing its head, “We are here today to talk about…”

Yunho laughed. “You make it sound like we’re attending a wedding.”

His heart did that trippy thing again. “Right.” He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze.

Yunho smiled, his eyes kind. “Don’t look so scared. I am not here to propose.”

“Hope not!” Jaejoong said, and forced out a laugh, trying to play it off. He failed, unfortunately.

Yunho widened his palms on the table, and swallowed so loudly that Jaejoong heard it perfectly. , he thought, staring holes into the back of Yunho’s tanned hand. 

Yunho started gently, “About that night….”

Jaejoong quickly interrupted. “No, you’re good. I have already forgotten about it. Plus, I..it was consensual and a team effort.”

What’s up with his stupid mouth!

“Yes,” Yunho said, frowning. “I…What do you mean by forget about it?”

“I…” He laughed, anxious. “You know. I mean, it was a mistake. It’s not like we can…be more,” he whispered the last two words, leaning towards Yunho. 

Yunho stared at him in shock. He looked at Jaejoong like the boy expected people to look like when they are staring at a pig with big, majestic wings.

“Therefore,” he decided to add bravely, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for kissing me?”

He felt a pang at his dry statement, and he wanted to quickly issue a rebuttal, but he knew he shouldn't. He needed to leave and put an end to this torture. “Yes.”

“You’re saying that—the kiss and this summer meant nothing to you?”

Jaejoong nodded, fusing his fingers together and squeezed them on his lap.

“That can’t be,” Yunho said, letting out a harsh laugh.

“I…Yunho, we—You said we should try to be friends. That’s what you said—asked.” He shrugged. “So, it was a mistake.”

“No,” Yunho quickly said, and shook his head. “Jaejoong—”

Jaejoong interjected: “Yunho, I think—”

“Let me finish,” Yunho swiftly stopped him before he could get anything else in. "I know what I said, but I thought—-No. Listen, it’s clear I have feelings for you. I do.” Jaejoong lit up like the night sky on New Year’s day. He opened his mouth to stop Yunho, but he continued. He felt like a kaleidoscope of butterflies were multiplying in his stomach. “And I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t discard them so willy-nilly. Please.”

The bomb was detonated.

Jaejoong  should have expected that. Yunho was not someone who held or bite his tongue. He was as blunt as blunt got.

“I know that is not what you were expecting, but...I think I’ve made it fairly clear,” he said when Jaejoong continued staring at him in silence. Yunho slid his hand closer towards his end on the table.

Jaejoong jerked back. 

“I am sorry. I….”

“No, it’s fine. I...I did not expect you to have an answer now. I…”

All his thoughts swirled together into one big pile of an incomprehensible mess.

Pressing his elbows on the table, he dug his forefinger into each side of his temple. “I don’t understand.”

“What?” 

He looked at him. “You used to torture me in high school.” 

Yunho flinched and his cheeks reddened. “I know. I really do, but….”

“You’re still friends with Nathen,” he cut him off.

His chin tightened, and there was a glint in his eyes. “No! I am not.” Yunho looked affront and hurt as he said, “I haven’t talked to him since I last saw him in high school. The school building. I didn’t even talk to him during our graduation.”

“Ooh.”

Yunho blushed and ducked his face. “Listen, Jaejoong, I know I can never apologize enough for my behavior in high school, but I hope you know I am not that guy anymore.”

“I don’t know, Yunho.”

“I know it’s hard to get passed, but…”

Jaejoonjg sighed. “But what?” He sounded completely defeated.

Yes, Yunho might not be the monster he always thought he was. Yes, he did try to not think about Yunho being the one who let him out of the school’s locker room when Nathen had locked him up in there. Yes, Yunho might have been the one that intervened when Nathen had attacked him in that cafeteria years ago. Maybe he hadn't really paid attention to Yunho constantly being the one pulling Nathen away, yes, but Yunho had also stood by and let it all happen and stayed Nathen’s friend despite how evil he had been to him because he was gay.

 “I want you to be honest.”

“Honest?”

“I think you like me, too.”

Jaejoong silently blinked at him.

“Yunho, what the hell, dude?”

“What do you mean?”

“This is a sick joke, isn't it? Sure, you’re hot, okay. I am attracted to you. Who wouldn’t be! The whole school was into you. Heck, even in university, you stand out in your classes. You’re conventionally attractive, Yunho. That doesn’t mean . I can’t.”

“Jaejoong, you can; you just have to—”

Jaejoong jumped up. “No. I can’t.” He started to storm out.

Yunho followed him outside.

Jaejoong felt his anger almost choking him as the summer heat greeted him. He yanked his arm free and spun on his heels to face an alarmed Yunho.

“Just leave me alone.” He hated how his voice quivered.

“I can’t. Listen.” Yunho reached for his arm and grabbed his elbow, his palm and fingers scorching  Jaejoong’s skin, as he said, “I cannot change the pass. I ing hate the me back then. If I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I like you. I really like you. Like, a lot. So much, it hurts. I do not want to walk away from this.” He stared at a shelf-shock and confused Jaejoong and in his bottom lip. “Please, don’t make me walk away.”

“What?” He yanked his arm. Yunho tightened his grip.

“Jaejoong, it’s clear you feel the same way for me.”

Jaejoong saw red and almost punched Yunho. He pulled on his arm again, ready to walk away and get in his car and go home.

He refused to make a fool out of himself in front of a ing McDonald's.

“I...I refused to believe that I thought wrong all this time.”

“Yes.” He breathed, seething, “You did.”

“No.”

“How can you say you have feelings for me when your best friend is a homophobic and you’re too scared to even come out?”

Yunho was stunned. 

Jaejoong took that chance to free himself.  “I refused to be a fool in front of a ing McDonald's in Orange Grove.” And he walked away.

Yunho came back and ran after him.

“Wait!” He caught up with him in no time. “What do you mean?”

“Just off, Yunho,” he said weakly.

“I’ll do it.” 

Jaejoong stopped walking and turned to face him. Inhaling to calm down enough to be able to think, he said, staring Yunho straight in the eyes. “Do what?”

Yunho laughed, it lacked humor. “Find Nathen’s FaceBook and come out to him.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Jaejoong asked in disbelief.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jaejoong, what do you want me to do?”

“Yunho, do nothing. Just let me be.”

“Okay. Do you want me to come out to my parents?” He pleaded.

“Yunho! That and this are not ... Nothing will make this feeling go away.”

“What can I do, then? Because I want you and I think we have something amazing happening between us. I don’t want to throw that away..”

Jaejoong was stunned. He had never expected to receive such an impassioned love-confession.

“I can’t erase what has happened. I want to. Don’t you think I would if I could? Do you think that I did not want to deny my feelings for you when I realized how I felt?” He reached out and grabbed the soft part of his arm again and took a step closer. Jaejoong did not push him away.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

“Stop asking that question,” Jaejoong begged, wanting to run away. This close, he could see the rim of Yunho’s fine, dark eyes reddening. The pained expression twisted the inside of Jaejoong’s stomach. It burned and hurt so painfully, he wanted to let out a cry.

What the hell? 

“So, if you can’t ever see me as more than just one of the guys who tortured you in high school, then, why did you lead me on?” His voice was raw and soft.

Jaejoong’s eyes widened. “What? I did not lead you on.”

His chest hurt.

“Answer my question—please.”

Jaejoong heard each and every beat of his heart. Sighing, he deflated. With his anger gone, he had nothing to hide behind. “I didn't lead you on," he said, almost in a petulant tone.

"What were we doing these past two months?"

The question he dreaded being asked.

What had they been doing?

He shrugged and refused to meet Yunho's eyes. "We….I don’t know. This is….I can’t give you the answer that you want.”

“To which question?”

“I don't know."

"Jaejoong, I've almost been forward about my feelings—"

"No, you weren't!"

Yunho's eyes flashed. "What do you think we were doing?"

"I thought we were..." he stuttered, frustrated as he swung his arms around trying to find the perfect answer.

"Friends."

He nodded.

"Then were you just acting like last year never happened?"

Biting his bottom lip and looking away again, in shamed this time, cheeks burning, he nodded.

"You don't feel what I feel?"

"Yunho."

"How can you tell me this is not—” And he stopped. Before Jaejoong could think or do anything, Yunho was on him. The fresh scent of his cologne infiltrated his nostrils and Yunho dropped his head and kissed him. 

The loud noises in his head silently went silent. His world stilled and his heart calmed down. This felt right. There was no denying it. The pressure of Yunho’s lips on his lips, hands on his body, and scent all over him felt natural. As if this was how it was meant to be.

In one sweeping movement Yunho his bottom lip and ed his tongue into Jaejoong’s mouth, tasting him deeply. The kissing was deep and drugging. Yunho had put all of his despair in the kiss. 

And the bubble of tranquility bursted.

Jaejoong’s heart rate picked up, and he felt as if he were on the verge of breaking down and crying. He could feel Yunho’s longing and it both scared him and filled him with elation. 

He needed to get away.

Right now.

He slid his hands between their chest, resting his open palms on Yunho’s chest and pushed him away. Panting, he tried to muster all the ire he could find and asked, “What are you doing?”

“You kissed me back.”

“Wha—What?” Jaejoong had the wherewithal to look at their surroundings. “Yunho. We’re outside at a ing McDonald’s!”

"Jaejoong. Do you really not feel this?"

His heart stopped beating. “I—”

Yunho straightened, and Jaejoong felt as if he was suddenly so far away from him, not just a few inches, and his voice lost some of its luster when he said, “Answer the question.”

“Jaejoong. What the hell are you doing?” His voice seemed to have come from the deepest part of his soul.

Jaejoong couldn’t deal with Yunho wearing his heart on his sleeve. He had hurt him and he was letting him see the damage. Jaejoong couldn’t deal and didn’t know what to do.

“Jaejoo—”

“Okay." He rubbed his clammy palms down his face before he stuffed his nervous hands inside his pockets. "Listen, I do not know why I started talking to you after I learned that it was you. I was just going with the flow. I had....” He shook his head.

“Just tell me the truth.”

Jaejoong wanted to shut down, but seeing the sincerity in Yunho’s eyes made it hard.

“I really, really liked A.aime.” He pressed his lips into a line and nodded. 

“What about me, Yunho?”

“I have...it’s difficult to separate you from my high school memories. And Nathen.”

Yunho encouragingly squeezed where he held him. Jaejoong did not know if he was conscious of what he was doing when he started to soothingly his thumb up and down his arm. "Nathen and I are no longer friends. He is the antithesis of what I am and want to be in the future."

He shrugged. "It's hard."

“I am sorry,” Yunho whispered, his countenance softening. “I can’t force you. I won’t, even if I could. But Jaejoong, I need you to know that I am not that guy. I’ve changed. It wasn’t for anyone, but me. I want to live in my truth.”

“That’s good, Yunho.”

“I know what I did was horrible and I am sorry. I….” He stopped. “You know. I have already told you. A.aime is me, I hope you remember that.”

“You two cannot be married in my head,” Jaejoong lied, staring at the ground.

Yunho inhaled softly, his minty breath hitting Jaejoong’s face. His stomach tightened and he remembered their kiss. The soft pillow of his lips.

He wanted him, too. And it hurt, too. A ton.

Why was he the one in pain when Yunho was the one who had trolled him for years. This was not him getting revenged, he just could not accept Yunho’s feelings.

“I truly cut Nathen off.”

“Good for you.” His bark held no bite.

Hot pain of regret and longing stabbed him when Yunho released his arm and took a tiny step back. The action felt monumental. Jaejoong blinked hard to try to keep his volatile emotions at bay.  

“I am sorry,” Yunho said once more, punctuating the air with a tiny, sharp laugh. It felt like he gave up when he said in a soft, defeating tone, “I’ll stay away from you.”

“Wait. Yunho, I—” He couldn’t proceed because his mind was white. He had nothing to say.

Yunho had stopped making his exit, but when Jaejoong said nothing, he gave him that watered-down smile again, nodded at him, and said, “Have a good night.” 

. He’s leaving! Is this really the end? 

Do I want this to be the end?

Jaejoong ended up being the one to watch Yunho walk away and get in his car and turn the engine on and he drove away.

He drove away.

He had just gotten his heart wrecked at a ing McDonald's in Orange Grove.

Writer’s Note: Hey everyone! I am currently wrapping this story up. I have edited and revised most of the story, except for the last two chapters, but the updating process is a little slower than it’s been these past weeks because, like I mentioned, I am back at work and that’s a little…It’s a doozy. It’s getting better and I am feeling like I am handling my new responsibilities a little better, but I’ve also started school and…I SIMPLY HATE IT. But, as adults we must do things we hate sometimes to make sure we’re financially stable. Anywho, thanks to the people who have commented and to those who are reading. I appreciate you all, and I hope you all enjoy this new chapter. See you in a bit and stay safe