“Awww. The semester is about to end. How fast time flies!” Jiho says and pouts as she rests her head on the table of the cafeteria. They’re sitting at their usual and quiet corner in the cafeteria, one of their places that they use to hang out.

 

“Yeah. That’s true. Can you believe that… three months ago I actually moved back here?” Yoobin says, running her fingers softly in Jiho’s hair as she looks at her absentmindedly. Memories come to her head. Time has passed by so fast indeed. It feels like yesterday when Yoobin moved in here, felt lost and hurt and too overwhelmed with memories. She felt alone, but she had Dami by her side, her only companion back then. And then, there was Hyejin, her second companion. Until Jiho found her. And after that… college started, she got back with her friends, Yewon told her she was sorry and now they’re a lot closer than they’ve ever been before. A mess happened with Hyejin, Hyojung and Seunghee and they’re still a mess to be honest. Yoobin notes to her head to talk to them at some point soon, before Christmas actually comes. And then, there’s Shiah and Mihyun who finally got together. It’s nice seeing the, so soft around each other. Even more than how they used to be before.If that’s even possible. Yoobin figures out that it is.

 

“It feels like yesterday.” She mumbles once again. Yewon rests her head on Yoobin’s shoulder and that’s when Yoobin comes back from her daydream and realizes that she’s still in the cafeteria with the girls and not alone.

 

“Yeah… it does.” Yewon mumbles this time and stares at Yoobin while caressing random patterns on Yoobin’s arm.

 

“So… what are you planning to do for Christmas? I was thinking of visiting my sister but she beat me to it and she said she’s going to come to town instead.” Seunghee announces and pouts at the fact that her sister ruined her plans. Her sister is studying abroad, in the USA in fact.

 

“Oh! That’s nice. We should meet her then!” Shiah says.

 

“Plans for Christmas? I don’t have any. Except for being with Shiah in bed all day.” Mihyun says and smiles.

 

“Ew! TMI!” Jiho exclaims loudly.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that! Bed as in cuddling all day underneath the warm covers and having our hot chocos!” Mihyun says loudly too and stares at Jiho in shock.

 

“Ok chill you two. No fighting today please.” Hyejin says, trying to calm them down.

 

“Yeah well, as Mihyun said, we don’t really plan to do anything. Maybe we’ll go to our parents at Christmas or New Year but the rest of the days we’ll be around here.” Shiah says, her cheeks still red from the whole talk Mihyun and Jiho had seconds ago.

 

“What about you two? You’ve told me you used to be neighbors for years. Don’t your parents wanna see you?” Hyejin asks Yoobin and Jiho but mostly refers to Yoobin so Jiho doesn’t really bother to reply.

 

“I was with my parents for a whole year so I think I’ll pass. Maybe we can have dinner at Christmas at Jiho’s parents’ house though. My family and hers. We’ll see. But yeah, we’ll be around here too.” Yoobin replies.

 

“Same. I mean, if most of you are gonna be around here then I don’t want to go to my parents. I want to spend my Christmas with you, as weird as it might sound.” Hyejin says and scratches the back of her head, a bit embarrassed and shy.

 

“I think you’re making the wrong choice. We’re no fun.” Jiho mumbles, suddenly finding way too interesting to play with her phone in her hands as she rests her head on the table comfortably.

 

“I’ve been hanging out with you for three month now, I don’t think you guys are no fun.”

 

“Oh please! Ignore her! She's the no fun one. The rest of us are fun.” Mihyun says and smiles proudly. Jiho smiles slightly but it fades as soon as it’s formed on her lips. She’s not in the mood lately and Yoobin can clearly see that. The rest might think that she’s just weird as she always is but Yoobin knows better.

 

“What about you Arin?” Jiho asks the said girl, trying to turn everyone’s attention elsewhere than the topic that they were talking about seconds ago.

 

“I have work. I can’t leave the town. And fortunately for me my parents can’t come either.” She mumbles and buries her head further into Yoobin’s shoulder, trying to hide herself somehow. Yoobin realizes that this is a topic Yewon doesn’t want to talk about really and from the few things Jiho has told her once about Yewon’s parents… they didn’t look like the best people out there. They were extremely strict but most importantly, they wanted Yewon to find a good guy and get married to him, after she was done with college that is.So no relationships before college and most importantly, no relationships with the same . Oh how much they didn’t know…

 

And there is is. Another problem about Yewon. Her parents. Jiho was a really strong person and she didn’t mind meeting Yewon’s parents at any point. She was ready, in fact, and wanted to meet them, to tell them clearly how much she loved Yewon, how serious she was and that she didn’t care about their opinion; she was going to be with Yewon anyway. But is Yoobin ready for something like that? Will she ever be? She’s afraid the answer will always be a no to this. She’s not a strong person and never was or going to be. So a serious matter like facing Yewon’s parents… is something that Yoobin is never going to be ready to face. As bad as it might sound, she’s one of those people that would actually run away in a situation like that. And that, because she’s afraid and weak herself. Fragile too. And not too strong to fight. Maybe that’s why she understands Hyojung. Maybe Hyojung is weak herself and can’t fight for Seunghee. Or maybe she doesn’t know how.

 

“What about you Hyojung unnie?” Shiah asks, trying to bring everyone’s attention elsewhere than Yewon, since she, too, understood the situation.

 

“I was actually thinking… of visiting my grandparents. They miss me a lot. They send me letters every week. Letters…” She mumbles the last part and smiles slightly sadly. Now, she has Seunghee’s attention more than ever actually.

 

“I keep them in my room but never read them. I’m afraid that I’ll get too emotional and give up on studying, leave college and return back to them.” Seunghee looks at her with such love and she badly wishes she could go up to her and hug her. She knows. She’s witnessed all these before. Hyojung’s parents left her when she was really young. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother simply didn’t care for her so she grew up with her grandparents, from her dad’s side. Seunghee had also witnessed Hyojung receiving all those letters but never reading them, instead hiding them at the deepest part of her closet. She knows how much Hyojung loves her grandparents and how much she misses them everyday. She also knows how Hyojung thinks of them in the happiest moments of her life but also whenever things are tough and she’s stressed, like now.

 

“And you’ll go? A six hours trip to get back to the countryside? And what if by seeing them makes you want to stay? You don’t even read their letters.” Seunghee can’t help but say out loud. Hyejin stares at them, not knowing the situation but actually understanding it without knowing much. Hyojung stares at her silently, finally taking in Seunghee’s figure since Seunghee tends to avoid looking at her before she smiles sadly.

 

“I can’t stay even if I want it so much. I have college, and… people to keep me back here. Don’t worry. I will return. I won’t leave you alone.” She says. Seunghee knows that even if Hyojung glances at the girls, making it sound that she was referring to everyone, by how Hyojung sounded and by how hard she stared at her right after, she knows that Hyojung was referring to her and only. Oh, how much hope this gives her. She tries to suppress it though because after all, Hyojung hasn't made any move so far. Why would she do it now?

 

“So… since everyone is gonna be around here, we should do something then, no? We should celebrate!” Shiah says and everyone agrees.

 

“Yeah we should, before Hyojung leaves.” Hyejin adds and for once, Seunghee stares at Hyejin and smiles at the girl. She appreciates how much Hyejin cares for her. She’s not sure in what way Hyejin cares about Hyojung but she knows that Hyejin has truly regretted it and is actually a nice person. Seunghee feels like she can slowly forgive her.

 

“So you’re working huh?” Jiho asks Yewon as she, Yewon and Yoobin head back to her cafeteria.

 

“Yeah. The boss is pretty serious about this. I mean, it’s Christmas holidays, everyone goes outside, for walks, for shopping, or just to meet their friends and families and a cafeteria is a basic place for all these. So we’re gonna be pretty busy. They need me. I can’t take any day off during the holidays. Only at the 25th and on New Year.”

 

“Damn that’s a bummer. So when are we all going to meet up and celebrate then?”

 

“Fortunately, we’ll close around 8 at Christmas Eve. We can do something that night. I'm free at Christmas so we can stay up long as well.” Yewon suggests as they get inside the cafeteria.

 

“Wow! Look who finally remembered that also has a job!” Soobin teases her as soon as she and the girls reach the counter. Yewon smiles embarrassed and hisses at him.

 

“Ya! Don’t expose me like that!”

 

“Why? I wonder what you do all these times when you're not at work.” He says and smiles naughtily at her. She rolls her eyes with a huff and walks behind the counter.

 

“She’s with you, right?” Jiho asks in a lower voice Yoobin from next to her.

 

“I’m not really sure when she works but I’ve figured out that she skips her shifts just to spend more time around me, yeah.” Yewon actually hears them and blushes madly.

 

“I… don’t do it on purpose! Time flies without me realizing it! Plus I’m studying with you unnie or we play, I can’t just stand up and leave!” The girls laugh.

 

“So, let’s make a plan. For real now. We need to make the best meet up of the year because it’s Christmas after all!” Jiho says as she gets in her energetic mode.

 

“I thought you thought we were boring? We can just meet up I mean and that’s all.”

 

“No! Gosh Yoobin! I just said that because…” And Jiho can’t really finish her sentence. She doesn’t really know what to say that’s why.

 

“Because Hyejin was there?”

 

“No! What does she have to do with that?”

 

“She has. You’re always acting way too weird around her. I thought you guys were close.” Yoobin says and smiles at Yewon, mouthing a ‘thank you’ as the girl serves her a hot chocolate.

 

‘Traitor’ Jiho mumbles to Yewon as she glares at her. Yoobin’s hot chocolate came first and it even had extra foam with a chocolate heart on it. Yewon just giggles lightly as she gives Jiho her hot chocolate as well.

 

“We are!” Yoobin glares at her seriously.

 

“Ok fine. We kinda started well, like… I thought we were gonna be close and hit it off but… for some reason it didn’t happen. I’ve been there for her during her tough period but I guess as soon as it was over she moved on from my company as well. And I mean, I get it. I’ve suggested to be her shoulder to cry on in the first place so now that things are ok she doesn’t need me anymore and honestly I should be fine with that because I didn’t want to get involved in the first place but if I have to be honest-”

 

“Jiho.”

 

“I’m losing it!” Jiho yells and glares at Yoobin like a tiger that someone just stole its food. The customers around the cafeteria stare at them weirdly for a second and Yoobin apologises softly before staring back at Jiho who glares at her hot chocolate, looking totally uncool, bothered and annoyed. She’s mad. She’s mad to herself though.

 

“I hope your hot chocolate is nice. It better be or else… you brat.” Jiho mumbles to Yewon who smiles sheepishly at her.

 

“Jiho… it’s fine if you like her, you know.”

 

“No it’s not. I have told you I won’t get involved and for once I want to keep my words. For once I want to avoid my feelings like how you do. I’m done being the third party here. I tried it once and it's a failure so no thank you." Jiho says and laughs bitterly.

 

“Fine. I’m with you then.” Yoobin says softly and holds Jiho’s hand. Jiho looks at her and Yoobin can see the sadness in her eyes. It's hidden deep inside her but Yoobin can see it. She can actually see Jiho screaming in there, losing it completely. It’s killing her.

 

“Thanks Bin. I really appreciate it. I just… it’s so hard gosh! It’s worse than the previous time. Why isn’t there any warning about that? Like, be careful, if you ever fall in love there’s no turning back and each time you fall in love it gets worse, you love someone even deeper and it hurts to freaking ing hell and-” Yoobin laughs and Jiho shakes her head.

 

“.” She only mumbles at the end with a smile.

 

“Yeah. Tell me about it. No one ever warned us. This is so unfair!” Jiho chuckles again. She holds Yoobin’s hand back and squeezes it.

 

‘Thank you for being there for me.’

 

‘No need to thank me pabo.’

 

‘I’m sorry. I truly am.’

 

“I should be the one who’s sorry.’

 

‘I miss you.’

 

They stare at each other with sad but also relieving and calm smiles. They might both be in too deep and their lives might be messy but now they know they have each other, they can rely on each other because they have each other’s back and trust. They love each other and they’re real to each other. They’re not perfect as they used to be, but what’s a friendship without its flaws and cracks after the many battlefields it’s been through right? That’s what makes it perfect actually. That they’re still there for each other after everything that has happened.

 

“Ok hear me out! Before we arrange the meet up for Christmas, we need to do a few things. Arin ah? You in?” Jiho says, a bright smile spreads on her lips. Yoobin is happy because no matter how hard things might be for Jiho, no matter how hard she tries and hides her pain, she;s still there, strong and happy with everything else in her life. And she’s still trying her best to have fun with her friends and make all of her friends happy.

 

“It depends.” Yewon says as she comes closer to them, still cleaning on a few glasses. She squints her eyes and stares at jiho.

 

“Oh come on love! I won’t tell you to dress up like a Rudolf again! I promise!” Jiho says and giggles. Yewon sighs and Yoobin observes them. Did no one notice that Jiho accidentally called her love, which she used to call her when the two were together? Only Yoobin did?

 

Jiho pinches Yewon’s right cheek and the girl groans at the powerful and overwhelming way of Jiho’s to show affection.

 

“She looked cute as Rudolf though.” Yoobin chips in on the conversation.

 

“I know right? She’s the only one complaining!” Yewon stares at Yoobin, surprised that Yoobin actually complimented her.

 

“Excuse me! I’m here too, you know!” She chips in again cause it looks like the two forgotten about her for a second there,

 

“Yeah we know!”

 

“I might look cute as Rudolf but the costume was too big and inflatable. That’s why I’m complaining!”

 

“I know honey. You’ve told me already. Now, listen.” Jiho says as she leans closer to the girls and they do too as Jiho tells them her plans. Yoobin can’t believe that Jiho called Yewon honey, another pet name she used to use a lot when they were a couple but she lets it pass by again because that’s Jiho after all. She used to use nicknames at times to everyone so for her it means nothing. She also can’t believe that the maknae line is organising the meet up and not their unnies. But honestly, she can see why. No one is capable of doing anything in their dorky group of friends.

 

___

 

According to Jiho’s plans, Yoobin has to talk with Hyojung. Alone. She was planning to do that anyway but fortunately, now with Jiho's plan, things are more organized. Jiho and Yewon managed to distract everyone else so Hyojung would be left alone so now, Yoobin and Hyojung are taking a walk around the park on their own.

 

ye._.vely618: ⏤ Good luck unnie! Fighting!

 

Yoobin smiles to herself as she receives the text from Yewon. She doesn’t reply cause she’s out with Hyojung right now. She catches herself smiling though. Oh well, she does that a lot often lately. Whenever Yewon texts her she always smiles. Which happens a lot by the way. Lately she and Yewon text really often. She shouldn’t be letting that happen but she can’t help herself. After her recent talk with Jiho though… she realizes one thing. She’s also broken and still afraid to love. She refuses to do so. Then why the heck is she letting it happen? Why? So she’ll end up hurt and alone again? She shakes her head as memories from last year come to her mind. She wishes it was just Junsun’s party and the events from it that was the only problem. Cause that’s the cherry on top actually.

 

It’s been two years since things started to get messy. Two years ago, exactly two years ago in fact, Yewon started to mess up with her. Kissing her whenever Jiho wasn’t around, and hurting her by being all over Jiho when Jiho was there. Why on earth should she believe that Yewon changed? Why and how?

 

Her mood is suddenly ruined and all she feels is numbness but she has a mission to do. She also wants to do it anyway because she can’t bear seeing Hyojung hurting inside.

 

“Was that Yewon?” Hyojung asks as the two sit by a bench at the end of the park, somewhere where it’s always peaceful and calm.

 

“Yeah.” Yoobin mutters.

 

“You don’t look that happy now though. Why is that?”

 

“It’s just…” Yoobin sighs. This shouldn’t be about her but maybe starting from her she can change it and turn it on Hyojung afterwards.

 

“The semester is about to end. Christmas is near.”

 

“And? You miss your parents?” Why is Hyojung so clueless? How is missing her parents and family related to Yewon?

 

“Yeah but that’s not the point here. It’s just… two years ago… I had the worst Christmas in my life, unnie. You of all people remember that.”

 

“Oh! Right.” Hyojung remembers it clearly. The messy Christmas school party, Yewon being dressed as Rudolf, Jiho making fun of her but at the same time saying that she was extremely cute. Hyojung and Seunghee were having fun, until… they weren’t. Yewon had a surprise for everyone that night. Of