Entry 6

𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲 || 𝐎𝐡 𝐌𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 (𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟐)
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"Morning!" Jiho greets their friends as she and Hyejin take a seat next to them on their usual spot. They call it their place since it's well, their place. Basically. It's an empty and peaceful part of college at the back of the library. An old room that was used as a lab class but not anymore. So the girls made it their place. They brought desks and chairs and other stuff to decorate the place and now it looks like their room or something.

 

Hyejin has her head hung low as she's feeling too guilty to face everyone. The events are too fresh. In fact, only a few hours had passed since then and Hyejin was begging Jiho to not attend college. But Jiho dragged her anyway, saying that it was better if she faced her problems now that it was still fresh and new rather than leave it for later.

 

"Woa look at your enthusiasm. What's up?" Jiho says as she sees all of them focused on their phones. All of them look tired, sleepy and moody. Seunghee wasn't in the mood to attend college and obviously after so much crying she was tired as well. And Yewon… as much as she wanted to meet Yoobin that day, she wanted to be by Seunghee's side. So except for them, everyone else is here.

 

"Don't pretend like you don't know." Yoobin mumbles. As much tired as she is, Hyojung wanted to attend college that day, saying that it's better to keep herself distracted.

 

"Yeah I mean… it wasn't the best night ever but…"

 

"Where were you really? Yewon said you didn't return home." Yoobin says again as she raises her head and glances at her.

 

"Yewon? You guys are texting now? That's progress!" Jiho says and claps happily. Yoobin groans.

 

"No we're not texting. She just asked for Hyojung and I asked for Seunghee. That's all. Anyway that’s not even the point. But as always you try to change the subject here.” Yoobin says and rolls her eyes.

 

“What?” Jiho asks.

 

“You know what? I don’t think I wanna know where you were or what time you left the party or even with whom you left. You look sleepless so I can guess what happened.”

 

“What? NO! It’s not what you think it is!” Yoobin looks at Jiho as the girl denies it loudly and shakes her hands and head.

 

“It’s just…” Jiho sighs.

 

“Don’t yell at me. Any of you.” She says as she looks at the girl. She doesn’t have just Yoobin’s attention now but also the rest of the girls that are there.

 

“And I’m saying this mostly for you, Mihyun.”

 

“What? What did I do again?”

 

“Nothing. Yet. But you tend to take things too seriously at times.” Jiho sighs.

 

“I was with Hyejin last night. She… wasn’t feeling well and… I decided to stay with her. I know what you all will say now. That she deserves it or that I’m stupid for doing this but… but not everything is black and white.” Jiho says as she looks at Hyejin who has lowered her head and was feeling extremely guilty.

 

“I just… know how this situation feels like. I've been into this before and I think no one deserves to be alone. I'm not taking her side, if you're assuming. I just didn't want her to be alone."

 

"She has her friends though." Mihyun protests. Jiho smiles. She doesn't expect anything different from Mihyun or any of her friends, in fact. And she's not going to share what she did with Hyejin all that night. It's better if it stays as a secret.

 

"So, you didn't return to the dorm because you were with Hyejin." Yoobin confirms and Jiho nods her head. She doesn't expect Yoobin from all people to be offended because after all, in their situation, Yoobin was the one on Hyejin's shoes. Kinda. So she should be understanding instead. And she is. It's just…

 

"You should have texted Yewon about it. She was worried and kinda… out of it. She's not good with feelings and… comforting people and you know it. So she felt kinda like a fish out of its tank." Yoobin explains, her eyes glued back to her phone. Jiho nods her head in understanding. Yoobin is right.

 

"So um… after talking a lot with Hyejin last night… I think she has something to tell you, Hyojung." Jiho says and both Hyojung and Hyejin perk up at that. Hyejin is anxious and Hyojung is caught off guard. Right… Hyejin. She needs to talk with the girl. Things happened last night and she totally forgot that she has to talk with the girl about it as well.

 

"Um… yeah I… I wanna say that I'm sorry, Hyojung ah. I truly am. I shouldn't have done that. I feel awful! I…" Hyejin tries hard to express herself but ends up lowering her head more as her eyes get filled with tears. Hyojung can't take seeing her like this though. Hyojung is a really sweet and nice person and she never took anyone's pain well. She stands up from her seat and goes to Hyejin. She hugs her tightly and whispers,

 

"It's ok. We're ok. You're forgiven. It's ok." Jiho smiles happily as she sees them making up for yesterday's events. Now, the only thing left is Seunghee… she sighs at the thought. Seunghee is really hard to get sometimes.

 

She glances at Yoobin from next to her. She also needs to make Yoobin and Yewon get together as well. Call her Cupid or whatever but she's here to make things better for every of her friends. She doesn't really care about herself at this point. She's here for Yoobin firstly and she wants to make sure to fix things. She wants to spend so much time with her, so much time that she wasted two years ago by pushing Yoobin away without herself knowing.

 

She stares at Mihyun and Shiah. They're both sitting next to each other, their shoulders touching. They look comfortable and soft with each other but honestly, when aren't they?

 

"Ya Kim Mihyun!"

 

"What?"

 

"When are you going to find yourself a girlfriend huh!?"

 

"The you care!" Yoobin giggles. These two are Always like this.

 

___






 

“Get up.” Yoobin basically orders Seunghee as she stands next to her. Seunghee just sulks and shakes her head.

 

“I told you, I already tried it. She refuses to get up.” Yewon says softly. Their classes were over for today. It is afternoon by now. A chilly afternoon but Yoobin doesn’t care about that. She wants to check up on Seunghee and she needs to get her out of her bed. Seunghee needs some fresh air to and to do other stuff as well to get her mind distracted.

 

“Seunghee… I know how hurt you are. But do you think this helps you out? Remember how much you and Hyojung unnie helped me out? We-”

 

“Don’t say her name again!” Seunghee grumbled loudly and hid her head underneath the pillow. Yoobin sighs. So, here she is, at Yewon and Jiho’s dorm, trying to make Seunghee stand up.

 

“Why did you leave her side anyway?” Seunghee grumbles slightly. Yoobin sighs and sits down on the bed next to the lying Seunghee. Yewon is sitting on her chair, at her desk and she is staring at Yoobin, wondering how Yoobin is going to convince Seunghee to get up from her bed.

 

“Don’t worry. She’s not alone. She’s with Mihyun and Shiah. Though I doubt they’re any help.”

 

“Yeah, tell me about it. I moved in with them so I know better! They’re already acting like a married couple!”

 

“Yeah actually… that’s what I was about to comment. Today they looked way too… I dunno. Close and too soft with each other. Something happened and they didn't tell us. Anyway, that's not the point here.”

 

“Bin… just leave me alone.”

 

“How can I leave you alone when you haven’t left me? It’s unfair.”

 

“You’ll help me another time. Please I just… don’t feel well today.” Seunghee matters as she stares on the floor sadly.

 

“That… that damn kiss has been playing on my mind all day actually… Gah!” Seunghee groans at the end and hides her head underneath the pillow again.

 

“That’s why I am here. To distract your mind. You’ll get up and get dressed.”

 

“No.”

 

“Seunghee." Yoobin says and glares at her. Seunghee raises her hands in mock-surrender and gets up from the bed with a huff.

 

"I hate you."

 

"I know. I love you too. Now, get dressed." Yoobin says with a smile. She stands up from the bed and leaves the bedroom, to give Seunghee some privacy to get ready. Yewon doesn't lose this chance and follows Yoobin around. Yoobin walks around the small dorm, examining it.

 

She's too deep in her thoughts to even think of Yewon actually following her. It's normal after all. Yewon always follows her around. It's just…

 

This could have been their dream.

 

Yoobin can't help but think of that. She knows Jiho is over Yewon and she guesses Yewon is too. It's just… two years ago, if you ever suggested this to Jiho, she would have been jumping up and down from too much happiness and glee, knowing that she would be living in the same dorm with the love of her life.

 

How much things have changed…

 

And indeed they have. Those two are now paired up together in this dorm because Mihyun and Shiah wanted to be roommates, Hyojung and Seunghee already have their own apartment so it was only the two of them left, because well no one knew when or how Yoobin would return. Except for Jiho that is.

 

Still, even though Yoobin knows they're both over each other and whatever has happened in the past… she can't help but feel uneasy. They're both living under the same roof, in the same room. It just… feels weird. Knowing that they used to love each other a lot and that they were together and now… it just feels too weird and Yoobin feels too uneasy. She doesn't want to admit it but she does. She feels uneasy.

 

So what if they get back together? After all, they were together in the first place! You don't belong in between them Yoobin! Just stay away like you have always tried to!

 

But what is she thinking? Jiho is over Yewon and she doesn't want to return back to her and that's a really sure thing about Jiho. Plus she's kind of interested in Hyejin but that's another story for another time. It's just… just Yoobin and her insecurities again, telling her that she's somehow getting in between them again.

 

"Do you like it unnie?" Yewon asks Yoobin softly as she walks behind her. Yoobin stops on her tracks which only causes Yewon to bump on her back, making them both now standing too close to each other.

 

Yoobin hates how Yewon has this new habit of calling her unnie. It feels way too soft and it makes her stomach drop or tighten into knots. She also hates how Yewon is trying so much to talk to her or interact with her or just Yewon trying to bring down Yoobin's tall and strong walls that she has built up with so much effort all that year that she was away. But after all, that has always been their relationship right? Yoobin, building up walls to protect herself from Yewon and Yewon, trying to bring them down. Will this ever change? Yoobin isn't sure. All she knows is that it's working and she's starting to lose the game. Again. And once again she’s afraid. The first time she gave in, things didn’t go well… at all…

 

"Yeah. It looks warm. And messy." Yewon chuckles behind Yoobin and since she's too close, her laughter is basically heard in Yoobin's ear, which makes Yoobin's stomach tighten again. She hates how Yewon's laughter sounds. It sounds too real, too adorable, too genuine, too lovely and… and it melts Yoobin's heart. She wants to hear it forever. It almost sounds so poor and innocent, like a baby's.

 

"That's Jiho's fault." Yoobin smiles and nods her head.

 

"How is it going? Handling her messy ?"

 

"Worse than it went with you. I can't be you, you know. You're the best at cleaning and organising stuff and as much as Jiho at that, at least you somehow affected her, when you guys used to be roommates."

 

"I didn't affect her. She just didn't want to hear me scolding her so she tried to clean up her room the sooner she could. So she was basically tired of me." Yoobin says and laughs.

 

"That's not true!"

 

"It kinda is."

 

"Agh! It's not. No one can get tired of you. But… that's not it. It's just… I can't be you, as I said, so… the room gets messy pretty often. I can't yell at her so… my remarks go on deaf ears basically." Yoobin laughs and nods her head.

 

"Handling Jiho isn't an easy thing. She's…"

 

"Too much to handle. I know. I've been her girlfriend once. I don't think I want to try it again." Yewon says and chuckles softly.

 

"Now you make her sound too bad." Yoobin comments, surprised as she turns around to face Yewon. She's too surprised. How can Yewon be so cool about it and talk about her past relationship just like that? Did Jiho mean nothing to her? Yoobin is pretty sure that if she ever had an ex she would never talk about them like that because she would still respect them or just… respect that she used to have something special with them. If they were nice people at least…

 

"Sorry. I was just trying to continue the fun. I guess I shouldn't." Yewon says and bites the inner side of her cheek. She's a bit nervous if she has to be honest. Interacting with Yoobin makes her nervous. She doesn't want to mess up again so she's really careful with what she says or does. She just wanted… to keep talking and laughing with Yoobin but she immediately realizes how wrong this sounded about Jiho. Nevermind. Maybe she should just stay to talking and interacting way too less with Yoobin. It's a start though right? Yoobin gives her a chance to interact with her! She could have just left it to just be two people that know each other and have the same group of friends, but not interacting at all or talking at all, whether the group is there or not. But no. Yoobin is actually letting her guards down, even just for that little, which is surprising, and Yewon is more than glad for that. She's not sure if she's getting into Yoobin, or if Yoobin just wants to be a bit more friendly for the sake of their group. Whatever her reasons are… at least they're interacting and they aren't like complete strangers. Yewon is thankful and glad for that. Really.

 

She opens to say something but that’s when Seunghee gets out of the bedroom and sighs.

 

“I’m ready. Let’s get over with this.” She stares at the two for a few seconds before she says,

 

“I didn’t interrupt something just there, right?” They both shake her head and she sighs, closing her eyes.

 

“Good. I guess.” She walks towards the door and Yoobin follows her.

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JH0112 #1
Chapter 12: hey there! just wanna say I'm so happy each time we get an update for this, and I'm really enjoying your writing!! will keep supporting your works! (: