Seunghee is sitting on the couch, in the small living room her shared apartment has and watches the TV. For how long? She’s not sure herself. It’s been hours, she’s sure of that. She has stopped glancing at her phone every now and then to check on the time or whether she has any reply from Hyojung yet or not. She refuses to call the girl. She has her pride and ever since their latest fight, which wasn’t really a fight since Hyojung isn’t a person to get involved in a fight and Seunghee just can’t bear yelling at Hyojung, Seunghee hasn’t been talking to Hyojung that much. She avoids her and doesn’t even call her. Like tonight. But she couldn’t help but send the girl countless texts as to where she is again or when she is going to return home. Last time she checked the time it was around 1 AM. Hyojung has never been outside this late without her or without any of their friends. Seunghee knows Hyojung is outside with Hyejin. Again. She just… can’t accept it yet.

 

She sulks as she plops herself deeper in the couch, her body basically giving up as sleepiness kicks in slowly slowly. She has a long and tiring day and now all she wants to do is sleep. But no. She’s stubborn and wants to wait for Hyojung. At least this one time. Because she has been avoiding her lately after all. But not tonight. Tonight Seunghee wants to face her and talk to her. She has finally made a decision and she needs to talk to Hyojung about it no matter what. Even if Hyojung was tired, or sleepy or too stubborn to accept reality. Seunghee has to tell and and will tell her no matter what Hyojung will do or tell her back.

 

She can’t even focus on the TV screen. The TV has been playing the third reality show in a row but Seunghee’s head hurts from too much information in one day. She can’t focus on the TV show because she’s already watched the two shows before that. Her head hurts from too much thinking. ‘Where’s Hyojung anyway?’

 

She blinks her eyes hard, trying to wash off the sleepiness but it’s hard to do so. For a few seconds she feels slightly more awake but soon, sleepiness comes back again and her eyes are slowly closing again. She soooo wants to give in and fall asleep but she knows that if she sleeps, she’ll lose her chance to talk to Hyojung. And I mean, she can just talk to her another time. But Seunghee doesn’t want any other time. She bears the pain and loneliness every single day. She can’t take this for any longer. She has to do it tonight or else… she might just end up ghosting Hyojung which is even worse.

 

“I’m home! Seunghee? Are you awake?” Hyojung exclaims softly, not wanting to wake up Seunghee in case she’s sleeping. She closes the door softly behind her and locks it. She walks further into their apartment on the tip of her toes as she looks around the house, searching for Seunghee. Seunghee can see her through her phone’s screen. Am I that short now? She thinks with a scoff.

 

“I’m over here.” She says tiredly.

 

“Oh!” Hyojung exclaims slightly taken aback that Seunghee is actually awake.

 

Why is she so surprised? Did she think the TV was its own?

 

Hyojung sits next to her on the couch and looks at the TV.

 

“So…? What are you doing up this late? Are you interested in Criminal Minds now?” Hyojung asks her softly. Seeing the evident sleepiness in Seunghee’s eyes, Hyojung tries her best to be as soft as possible so she won’t wake Seunghee up from her drifting off to dreamland state.

 

“Maybe I am. It doesn’t look bad.” Seunghee says plainly as she keeps on staring at the TV and avoids looking at Hyojung who was looking at her all this time. So it’s Criminal Minds now? Whatever…

 

“I think you should just go to sleep. You look tired and you already had a long day, hm? Come on. Let’s go cuddle.” Hyojung says as she takes the remote control that’s long forgotten on Seunghee’s left hand and turns the TV off. Seunghee sighs. Hyojung stands up from the couch and is about to walk away but as soon as she sees that Seunghee isn;t following her she stops on her tracks, turn around to face Seunghee and says,

 

“Come on. It’s uncomfortable to sleep there. In that position. As much tired as you are, the bed is better.”

 

“That’s why you should sleep there then for tonight.” Seunghee finally answers.

 

“Yeah. And cuddle with you.” Hyojung says, not really understanding what Seunghee was trying to say.

 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to cuddle your pillow tonight.” Hyojung lets out a light giggle, mixed with a scoff.

 

“What are you saying? Come on. Stop sulking and let’s get to bed. We’re both tired and had a long day.” Seunghee takes a deep breath in. It’s now or never. As much as she wants to just be straight forward, she needs to explain a bit herself as well even though she’s too tired to do so.

 

“Come sit on the couch please. I want us to talk.”

 

“Is it important? Because if it’s not we can leave it for tomorrow. We’re tired and you look kind of pissed and-”

 

“Yeah. It’s kind of important.”

 

“-it might end up with us fighting- Oh! Ok. Sure.” Hyojung finishes her sentence but changes her mind at the end. She returns back to her previous spot on the couch and turns to look at Seunghee, who’s still avoiding to look at her. Cause unlike the clueless and dumb Hyojung, for Seunghee it’s really hard to do it. And looking at Hyojung won’t make things easier at all.

 

“Ok what did you want to talk about? I’m here.”

 

“I want us to take a break.” Seunghee gets into the point immediately.

 

“Oh! A break? But college hasn’t even started yet! I mean, if you want more holidays then yeah sure, I guess we can skip the first few classes and go for a trip somewhere for a week-”

 

“No. Not that kind of break.”

 

“Oh. Then?”

 

“A break as in you and me. A break from our relationship.”

 

“I… don’t get you?” Seunghee sighs. Why is Hyojung so slow?

 

“I’m tired, Hyojung. All I’ve been feeling lately is loneliness, jealousy and incompleteness. We’re not like before. I… don’t feel safe around you anymore. I’m always worried, I’m always depressed and I always feel like I’m fighting for something too unreachable. You’re the unreachable one. I feel like no matter what I do you’ll always slip away.”

 

“But I’m always here dummy. With you.”

 

“No. You… you don’t get it!”

 

“Does it have to do with the fight we had a few days ago? I can fix this Seunghee. I’m sorry. I’ll try to spend more time with you and text you-” Seunghee sighs hard.

 

“Where were you tonight?” She asks straightforwardly, as she closes her eyes.

 

“With Hyejin. And her friends. We were finishing that project I told you about the other time and then Chungha suggested we go for some drinks to loosen up since all of us got tired after working so hard on my project with Hyejin. You should really get to know them better. Hyejin’s friends are so fun to be with!” Hyojung says excitedly but Seunghee shakes her head.

 

“Have you checked your phone at all?”

 

“My phone? Oh…” Hyojung says as she takes it out from her jeans’ pockets and then she sighs another low ‘oh’ as soon as she sees the uncountable texts from Seunghee.

 

“Sorry. It was loud at the club and Hyejin-”

 

“Hyejin was keeping you busy. Like she always does.” Seunghee says and rolls her eyes tiredly.

 

“No. It’s not that… she just said we should forget about responsibilities tonight and just loosen up and we shouldn’t even touch our phones and… why are you so worked up about Hyejin again? She’s nice, you know!” Hyojung tried to defend her as soon as she realized that Seunghee was actually jealous of the girl.

 

“Yeah! She’s so nice that you only spend time with her and not with me!” Seunghee finally raises her voice and Hyojung looks at her shocked.

 

“That’s… that’s not true! Why are you jealous that I’m making new friends? You don’t even know Hyejin!” She tries to defend her side. Seunghee sighs hard again. She rests her head behind her hands, hiding her face. She’s tired. And she needs to end this now. Hyojung is blind. And Seunghee can’t do anything about it.

 

“Look, maybe it’s my fault for being this jealous and insecure about your poor, friendly feelings towards Hyejin.”

 

“You’re being sarcastic again. I don’t like it when you’re mean to me.” Hyojung says and lowers her head with a pout. Seunghee knows that. She knows it hurts Hyojung when she’s mean and she has promised herself to never be this mean to her girlfriend. But sometimes it’s too hard. At least… she’s not as mean as she can get with anyone else.

 

“I’m sorry… What I’m trying to say here is that maybe I’m at fault. But you’re at fault too. You make me insecure everyday and make my worries and stress worse than it already is. You barely give me attention anymore. You’re all about Hyejin and you’re always around her. Maybe I’m just the bad girlfriend that is extremely jealous of you. Ok fine. I’m the mean, jealous of your story princess! But you don’t do anything to fix things! You make me feel every single day like I’m still fighting for your love, like I’m still fighting to keep you by my side. It’s so hard being with you Hyojung. And I got tired of trying and fighting on my own. We’re supposed to be into this together. But it seems like I’m alone again. So please give me a break. I prefer being alone by myself rather being alone with you. It hurts even more. Just give us a break. Till you’ll find a solution to how you’re gonna fill my emptiness.” Seunghee finally explains her side of the story.

 

Hyojung is shocked but she doesn’t want to accept this. She doesn’t want to accept that they come into this. That she accidentally hurt her own girlfriend and now they have to take a break. There must be a solution, right? It has to!

 

“Seunghee… I’m sorry. I… haven’t realized you felt this way all along. I’m so sorry. I promise I’m gonna spend-”

 

“No. No Hyojung. No more promises. Just give us a break. I’m tired. And I don’t mean physically. But mentally. Enough with the promises. I want actions. I want to see you trying for us. Make me feel loved and safe again. That’s all I want.” Seunghee says softly as she finally glances at Hyojung. Hyojung can see how deeply Seunghee is hurt and it makes her tear up. She can’t bear this. She hurt Seunghee!

 

“Please Seunghee. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!” Hyojung pleads her as she bends down on the floor and holds Seunghee’s hands. Her eyes are already glossy. She can’t bear the fact that she hurt Seunghee but she also can’t lose her.

 

“I know.” Seunghee says softly, trying her hardest to not tear up as well. Hyojung kissed her hands as she kept on holding them tight and saying countless of sorrys.

 

“Hyojung. Stop. Please. I really need a break.”

 

“But I don’t want to lose you!” Hyojung is basically crying now. She tries to reach for Seunghee to hug her but Seunghee holds her hands and pushes them slightly away.

 

“I don’t want either. But this isn’t good for me. I can’t keep living in this stress. Please leave me alone.”

 

“You’re hurting me Seunghee! I can’t be without you!” Hyojung whined as she cried harder.

 

“Unnie. Fight for us. And don’t forget to be happy. With, or without me. I don’t want you to be sad because of this. It already made me sad. Please don’t be sad too. Be yourself. Be the Hyojung I always adored.” Seunghee says with a sad smile as she stands up from the couch, still holding Hyojung’s hands. Hyojung hasn’t stopped sobbing and begging for Seunghee to not leave her side. But Seunghee is determined. She has to do this or else depression and stress will eat her alive. Please Hyojung. Fight for us. For me.

 

Seunghee gets Hyojung to their shared bedroom and lays her down on the bed. Hyojung tries her hardest to cling onto Seunghee, desperate to make her stay. Seunghee didn’t say anything else. She just drags herself away from Hyojung and closes the door, leaving Hyojung a crying mess in their room, alone. She lays down on the couch again as she opens the TV, trying to distract her mind somehow. But it’s not working. Her eyes get glossy and her vision blurs. Why does it hurt so much Hyojung?

 

___

 

@hyun_maxiang added @mimmiiiya, @jihoa_f, @baeyu_b and @ye._.vely618

@hyun_maxiang named the group HELP ME!!! :(

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤We took a break :/

 

Yoobin’s phone buzzes as she is studying behind the library’s counter. She’s at work but since it’s always quiet at the library, she can easily study while working at the same time. She glances over her phone and knits her eyebrows, confused.

 

@jihoa_f: ⏤What? Why?

 

@mimmiiiya: ⏤If Hyejin is the cause of it I swear I’ll bury her alive! We already saw this story before! Enough with this drama! I won’t let anyone else get through this again!

 

@jihoa_f: ⏤Awww thank you Mi for making our story sound so unique!

 

@mimmiiiya: ⏤You know it’s unique in a bad way though, right?

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤Guys seriously? You’re not helping here -_-

 

@mimmiiiya: ⏤Oh! You texted the group chat because you wanted help?

 

@baeyu_b: ⏤This is not the group chat.

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤I know dummy! I made it just a few seconds ago! I also named it HELP ME @mimmiiiya you !

 

@baeyu_b: ⏤Why?

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤Well… it’s because I’m the closest with you guys plus Hyojung is the closest with the rest of the girls.

 

@baeyu_b: ⏤Rest of the girls? Only Shiah and Hyojung aren’t in this group chat. And Hyejin but I’m assuming you wouldn’t have added her to the group chat anyway.

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤Duh! Wait. Did I add Yewon as well? Ops! Anyway. Yewon knows how to keep secrets.

 

@baeyu_b: ⏤So? Why did you make this group chat?

 

@mimmiiiya: ⏤Maybe because we’re all pathetic gays and don’t know how to fix things with our girlfriends? Come and think of it. Whenever we mess up we all gather and talk about it! All as in the four of us. I don’t know why Yewon is in the group chat but she’s a good listener so… See? I’m sooo smart! That must be it! ;)

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤-_-

 

@baeyu_b: ⏤-_-

 

@ye._.vely618: ⏤-_-

 

Yoobin’s heart flutters as she sees Yewon responding in the group chat. She didn’t expect the girl to do so. And the fact that they haven’t exchanged any texts so far… it’s the first time they’re actually interacting through texts and that… only because it's a group chat or else…

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤Oh Yewon! You’re here?

 

@ye._.vely618: ⏤Actually I’ve been reading your texts through my notifications. You guys are so pathetic.

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤We know! Mihyun! Why are you making us look so dumb to the poor kid?

 

@mimmiiiya: ⏤Ya! I just stated a fact and now you’re all bullying me!

 

@jihoa_f: ⏤Ask for Shiah’s help then ;D

 

@mimmiiiya: ⏤Ya! Don’t make me blush! I’m studying you know! >.<

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤And I was just about to ask where the heck did Kim Jiho go. Fortunately you’re still here.

 

@jihoa_f: ⏤Yeah I’m wasting my time with you es. By the way, I think I found the real reason for this group chat. We’re all the tops so… ;)

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤X_X

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤O.O

 

@mimmiiiya: ⏤You tell me this is funny? Ya! I crack better jokes than Kim Jiho!

 

@hyun_maxiang: ⏤No offense Mim, but I’m a Jiho team :D

 

@baeyu_b: ⏤Same

 

@ye._.vely618: ⏤Same

 

Yoobin glances over at her phone and feels her stomach tightening again as soon as she sees Yewon texting exactly after her. She knows it’s stupid but she can’t help herself.

 

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