Lying on my bed, I carefully listened to the sound of gentle footsteps that were roaming about the first floor of my parents two story home. Every so often I could make out some pleasant sounding banter that gave me some comfort as I tried my best to listen in. Finally, I heard the little ring from my home’s security system, which signalled that the front door had been opened. Paying even closer attention, I heard the kind voice of a loving mother, just barely through my bedroom walls.

“Seohyun take care. Don’t stay up too late playing with Yoona.”

I heard a sweet reply, "Okay, mom!" followed by the loud smack of a kiss.

Today was another Friday which historically meant a sleepover with Seohyun. It had been a little tradition of ours since we were kids. Now that we were a lot older, it was rarer, but still nice to have once in a blue moon. It was a way for us to reminisce on simpler times. Hearing the loud steps up to my room, I watched as the door swung open revealing Seohyun who was carrying a gargantuan bag of her belongings in her arms. Her favourite Keroro doll sat happily on top of it all, giving me a sweet little smile. I couldn’t help but giggle as I watched her struggle across the room lugging her stuff. “Are you staying over for the entire weekend?” I joked.

I watched as Seohyun dropped off the bag at the foot of my bed with a loud thud. She picked up her stuffed animal rather lovingly and replied, “Mom just likes to be prepared for anything.” Seohyun walked over and examined me as I was sprawled rather lazily across my bed.  She signalled that she wanted some room so I moved aside to let her slide into the sheets and watched as she lay beside me, turning herself to face me, her beautiful brown eyes meeting my own in an innocent gaze.

“Unnie, what do you want to do tonight?” she asked with a sweet tone.

It was difficult coming up with an itinerary for our little evenings together. Seohyun and I were starting to drift apart when it came to our interests, the girl was determined to work hard and become something special whereas I was just happy going with the flow. Living life a day at a time. The difference in our attitudes affected what we liked, but still I had a special connection with Seohyun that I could never let go of. “I’m not sure, are there any movies you want to watch?”

Seohyun excitedly asked, “How about the latest Johnny Depp movie?”

I could only reply with a disappointed voice, “I’ve seen that already with Tiffany and the girls.”

Seohyun nodded and rolled around so that she faced the egg shell-white ceiling of my little room. Putting her hands over her tummy she lay there thinking quietly to herself before asking, “Is there anything you want to chat about?”

These little heart-to-heart talks were becoming more common as we got older from all sorts of people. They were candid and nice, but sometimes it irritated me to talk so seriously about life and hear other peoples many hopes and ambitions when I didn’t have many of my own. Seohyun was more keen than others and she disapproved of my attitude towards education. With her structured lifestyle, it made sense that she didn't understand my thinking.

With a lackluster tone, I bluntly answered, “Not really.”

My best friend gave out a disappointed sigh and inhaled and exhaled until she regained her composure. “Are you sure? You know this is our last year of high school right?" I could sense a sadness in her voice. "We might not be able to see each other as easily...”

A silence filled the air as she finished her sentence with apprehensiveness. Seohyun was working hard to try and get into the best schools which were all outside of Korea. Deep down, I knew that she would easily get offers; the girl was a downright genius. This meant that in all likeliness we would be separated except for the occasional holiday visit which she assured me would happen. Seohyun always kept her word, but she was also the type to make sacrifices to achieve her dreams.

“I hate that you always talk like we’ll never see each other again once we graduate,” I replied expressing my genuine feelings.

“Well, this is a special point in our lives Yoona. After this we grow up and become our own people. Have you thought about what University you want to go to after graduating?”

It was a little insulting that the girl with the Keroro doll at a sleepover was giving me a lecture about being mature. In a way I knew she was right. “I’m not really sure if I want to go to any of them,” I replied with honesty.

Seohyun turned to face me again and I watched as she s her arms down to grab my hands lovingly in her own sensitive palms. Her hold was soft and warm; I could feel my heart beat nervously as she lovingly caressed my fingers, grasping them in her own.

“Haven’t you thought about your future?” she asked with wide eyes.

I wasn’t like Seohyun. She saw the future as something promising, whereas I saw it as a place full of uncertainty. It was nice just being here in the now with my best friend by my side. That was enough for me. “I’ll see what my options are at the end of the year.”

She frowned at my answer.

For a while we laid there awkwardly, listening to the sound of my mother, who was diligently cooking something in the kitchen. I was lost inside my head thinking of more important life issues beyond college. Finally Seohyun broke the tension by scooting towards me and playfully cuddling me, which caused me to really start feeling flush. “Unnie~” she said rubbing her cute cheeks against my chest causing me to feel a little light-headed. A nosebleed seemed like it was coming and coming soon. “Are there any boys that have peaked your interest?" she asked. "You always have so many admirers. Did any of them ask you to the semi-formal?”

Feeling Seohyun so close to me boys were pretty much the last thing on my mind. It was extremely intoxicating having her by my side like this. I could feel massive waves of endorphins course through my body sending happy feelings all over. The innocent girl was completely unaware of the physical effect she had on me. Secret crushes rarely did. It was electric and I felt the urge to pull her even closer.

“Yoona?” she asked, eyeing me for signs of consciousness. I looked down at her and decided to have some fun.

With force and swiftness, I rolled the vulnerable girl over so that I was on top of her mounting her like she was a horse saddle. Staring at her now wide eyed, she seemed surprised at my sudden aggression. I hunched forward so that we were practically face to face which caused her to submissively let out a squeak.

“Unnie?...” she whispered, nervously.

My eyes focused on her beautiful feminine pink lips that looked so very welcoming. They were a little moist from lip balm that she must have smothered on before arriving. I watched as she opened to catch a breath of air, revealing her cute tongue. I struggled to fight back the urge to dive forward and kiss her. Posturing back up to keep myself at a safe distance, I began my little interrogation.

“I’m more curious about you. Are there any boys that have been asking you out lately?”

Seohyun looked flustered by the whole situation. “Yoona, what if your mom comes in and sees us like this?”

It was obvious that we were in a compromising position, even for two best friends. Quite frankly, I didn’t care. “Come on tell me about your love life! Is there anyone you’re interested in? Anybody that’s got your heart beating?”

Seohyun lay there tight lipped; the girl didn’t seem to have anything to say. Seeing no other option, I grabbed her Keroro doll that was on the bedside and made my demands. “Talk truthfully or your little frog gets it.” I took my hand to one of his ears and gave it a little tug which caused the girl to panic.

“Yoona! Don’t you even dare!” she screamed. The girl was appalled at my seemingly genuine threat.

“Come on! It’s not fair that I always tell you about my love life when you never share anything about yours!” I reasoned, pulling the doll away from her reaching arms.

Seohyun reluctantly gave up and said, “But you know me unnie. I’m not interested in stuff like dating.”

That was the problem. I couldn’t confess to a girl who didn’t even want something like that in her life. It was terrible being by her side, when I couldn’t safely share my feelings for her. I continued with the emotional torture. “Who’s interested in you?”

“I don’t know!” she yelped.

I thought of the only guy who was close to her. “How about Jinwoon?”

“He’s just an oppa,” she replied with helplessness in her eyes.

Another competitor’s name arose in my mind. “Yonghwa? He's a popular guy, rumor is he likes you.”

“Yoona give me back Keroro!" she yelped in reply. "No guy has confessed to me okay? Let alone ask me out.”

Satisfied, I caved in as she seemed to be spooked by my little intimidation tactic and gave back her favorite doll. After apologizing and hugging her to show my sincerity, we continued our evening by chatting about other topics until I ended up re-watching the latest Johnny Depp movie with Seohyun. It was something that made her happy so I decided that it was a worthwhile use of my time. My mother came by to give us some snacks which were always nice, and she made sure to bake some Gogumas for the girl that she considered to be her second daughter. It was just like old times. 

Once the clock struck midnight Seohyun immediately rushed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. It was a little embarrassing how much sleep our actual sleepovers had. After she was finished I followed suit and also got myself ready to hit the hay.

Exiting the bathroom which was just down the hall, I made my way back to my spacious bedroom and found it dark, save for the bedside lamp that had been flicked on. Making my way to the bed, I joined Seohyun who was lying under the sheets.  She was waiting for me on the far side of the bed with her Keroro doll cutely in her arms on top of her stomach. Turning off the bedside lamp, I edged closer to the girl and embraced her lovingly, smelling her fresh and sweet scent. We had always been close, so this type of sisterly hugging was okay in Seohyun’s book, but for me it was a way of drifting off into my own delusions, imaging what life would be like if Seohyun was my girlfriend.

I could hear the girl relax her breath and watched as she started to fall asleep in my arms. I quickly saved this little feeling inside my memory bank, as my heart pounded not in excitement, but in happiness. My eyes closed shut and I soon found myself wondering just how long I could last before telling the girl of my dreams how I loved her.