Jonghyun POV

3.

It’s been three days since Hye Mi walked out from our house and it also has been three days since I’ve tried everything to find her, including causing fit in the school office just to get her friends numbers or address, anything. Anything that could lead me to her. Who knows if she went to stay at one of them, because she never go back to her parents. It was an awkward call to her parents and I was careful enough to cover things up but not smart enough to no losing my temper in front of the nosy clerk. After I work things up with her, I might need a help with my anger management.

Forget about that anger issue, I'm starting to get really worried now since Hye Mi left with nothing, neither wallet nor handphone. I wonder if she had the house key so she can pick up her essential things. Maybe I can be fortunate enough to see her again. However, I've been staying in a hotel for this period because there is something in that house that make me felt guiltier than ever. If I continue to stay there, the scene of that fight from that night will keep replaying in my head, mocking my stupid mistake that cost me my love.

Those eyes. That trembling voice.

I can't find her anywhere, yet there is one place where we'll surely meet. Whether we want to, or not. School. A place where we are so close yet so far.

Today is Monday. That means a class with Hye Mi. I wonder if she goes to school today. Will she come to my class or ditch me?... I pull out our marriage binders from my pocket and stare at both of it like I’d never seen it before. Our marriage ring, the only thing we shared together. I never expect for her to wear her ring that day since she never wear it if it’s not for special occasions like going to the parents or some family events.

And... it struck me.

She wears it for no reason for the first time that day, the day she went to tutor Jinyoung, and on the same day she threw it back to me. Jonghyun, why would you say those things to her? Why do you have to be blinded by your rage? .

I've broke her heart. I shouldn't question her loyalty. I should've been smarter in controlling my jealousy. I should've trust her.

I should've died.

I was so deep in my own emotions, not realizing the tears that already find its trail down my face.

***

The sound of the door being slide open snapped me out of my whirlwind emotions and I quickly look at the certain someone who's standing frozen at the door.

After a minute of eye contact, that person makes her way closer before stopping in front of my desk and place a black handkerchief on the desk. Without waiting for my response, she leaves me to sit at the back of the class, definitely against her nature of sitting at the front line, at her usual spot.

There is no other student yet but they will barge in anytime so I can't be seen talking to her even though our marriage already trending in the school right now, thanks to that y office clerk and to my anger issue.

The 10 meters distance between us feels like miles, especially in this suffocating silence. Her eyes are puffy red, means she just finished crying.

Is she suffering just the way I am? Or much more?

Will she forgive me? Will she return to me? Will she accept me back? Will she...

Hye Mi POV

I throw my sight out of the window. It feels so different sitting here, at the back. But how can I sit at my place knowing I will only be closer to the men that is playing with my head and my heart, and also next to my now-hate-me-to-death best friend, Mi young.

The slow sobs has calmed down better than prior although the heavy sigh still pricking my heart like a needle. I know he's been crying, that’s why I lend him my handkerchief. I don't want anyone else to see and shed his tears away. Stupid right? Still hanging on someone like him. But that’s me, a confused Hye Mi. Despite of everything that has been raining down on me non-stop, I still don't whether I should hate him or... lo-

I know he's looking at me all the time but I just can’t return his gaze. I am afraid of falling in that beautiful, mesmerizing brown orb, drowning me with the unknown.

The class slowly packed with students and I saw Mi Young entered the room and went straight to her seat, placing her bag on the chair next to her, to mark her territory on the chair that used to be mine. Everyone is not trying to be discreet at all, openly look at me and Jonghyun, like both of us just finished having a fight with each other. The girls mostly sending me a foul look and keeping their distance away from me.

So this is the feeling to be outcasted. What a lovely last semester of high school of mine. This gonna be an interesting story to be shared with my grandchildren.

'Listen kiddos, your grandma was outcasted because she's secretly married to her own teacher and accused on adultery with her tutor friend'.

Yeah, cool.

*

The class went a bit different from the previous class we had with Jonghyun. He speak less, no lame corny jokes and no smile at all. He writes continuously on the board and commands us to copy and not making any noise. This is nothing like a music class at all. But I guess I know why he's behaving that way, and he should.

Ignoring his notes, I continue looking outside the window. The sky is covered with dark clouds, threatening to burst... Just like my heart right now.

"Thanks"

A faint voice pulls me from my daze and I quickly look at the owner of the voice. His hand is placing the same piece of cloth I gave him and then he walk away, to check on other students or maybe to make our mere a second contact goes unnoticeable.

Staring at the black silk, I notice small bulge in its folds. I reach for the slightly wet cloth and begin to unfold it.

This?

In there is my hexagon wedding ring place safely in a small heart shaped red paper.

I look at Jonghyun who already sitting back at his place and nothing for my surprise, staring at me. I try to avoid his eyes and saw him smile. Not the way that melts my heart before. But this time, that smile conveys more pain and vulnerability.

*bzzt bzzt bzzt

Becoming the one who look away first, I distract myself with checking my vibrating phone. I got a text from Jinyoung.

From: Jinyoung

Hye Mi- ah, I'm so sorry. I can't send you back today, I got myself another detention T_T. it's all Baro's fault. I'm so sorry. :(

**

To: Jinyoung

Hey, it’s okay. I can take a bus or taxi home. I already know the route okay. Btw, another detention? You delinquent :P

I touched the send button and hold the phone with my left hand while pretending to write with my right.

*bzzt bzzt bzzt

Aishh this little... said he got a detention but yet still typing during lessons. I ignored it until my phone vibrates once again. Annoyed, I touch my screen and view the message.

1st message

From: Jjong -,,-

Can you please forgive me?

2nd message

From: Jjong -,,-

Please, I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry Jonghyun. Your sorry is not enough. In fact, I don't know what is enough.

I just type one word to reply him before third text come.

From: Jjong -,,-

I love you. I really do. And I am really sorry.

My head gets dizzy when I read those words repeatedly. Does he really mean it? Does he really sorry for what happen? Does he really lo-...

There's nothing more I could say, this is too much.

That’s it.

To: Jjong -,,-

I don't know, Kim Jonghyun. I don't know if I can forgive you. What is there for me? I hate feeling like this, Kim Jonghyun. It feels like I am hating you.

It's such a short chapter. I know. I am sorry. But am I? hehe.

I am late at updating and that is just the person I am. so yeah. hahaha.

till the next update,

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