Have you ever been awake for so long in your bed with no thought or sign of sleep and your heart isn't at peace because you're afraid of what's going to happen as the day goes on?

That's how I felt right at this moment.

I tossed in my bed, turning to the side and looking towards the curtain. There was still no sign of the sun coming up and I was getting frustrated. I wished the sun could come up so that I could meet my end already.

I quickly sat up and went for my phone on the drawer close to my bed. I checked the time. It was only 4 AM.

I fell back on my bed, the back of my head hitting the pillows real hard. I clenched my teeth in irritation. Sunrise felt like forever and I was already tired of sleeping. This had been the third time that I had to wake up and only realise that I had only slept for a few minutes. I wish I could sleep till sunrise, but waking up three times meant I was too bothered in my mind even to dream.

I turned to my other side where my stuffed panda lay beside me and I cuddled it in my arms.

How I wish I could fall asleep. I admired Zoey whom I could hear snoring slightly in her sleep. I stared up at the dark ceiling trying to picture things in my mind but I couldn't. Even my imagination wasn't working.

I sighed as I looked at the panda. I couldn't stop thinking of what I was going to do today, especially with G-Dragon and Zoey.

I knew I now had to face the music. And even though we had quite a hectic day yesterday, Zoey hadn't given up on me about what happened with G-Dragon and me. And even though she was tired when we got back, she still hadn't stopped bothering me until she finally gave up and went straight to bed.

I knew her persistence was far from over and I had to prepare myself for more of it today. I know Zoey must be very worried about me, but I was more worried about her if I had to tell her the truth.

I know sometimes we people lie to prevent the others we love and care about from getting hurt. But there will come a point in time when you can't keep it to yourself any longer because the guilt will eat you up inside. Sadly, I had now reached that point.

I sighed again as I turned again to the other side, taking the panda in my arms with me. What wrong did I ever do to be in the position I was in right now?

If it came to G-Dragon, he was going to be one person who will be difficult to talk to. I know I betrayed his trust, and trying to convince him was going to be a whole lot harder.

How was I going to tell him that yes, Daesung and I did kiss, but all of that happened due to a completely different story? I know how bad he must be feeling and if I was in his shoes, I probably wouldn't believe anything I would say either.

I kicked out the bed covers and got up from the bed. And taking Mr Panda with me and my phone, I slipped my feet into my bed slippers and walked out of the room in my purple pyjamas.

I went straight for the dark, empty lounge and I the lights. I went to sit on the comfortable couch and with my feet up and folded with Mr Panda in my arms, I unlocked my phone and went straight to my contacts and called my mum.

Hopefully, I was calling her at the right time. I wasn't really sure what time it would be back home in the U.S. I was too bothered to even try and figure out all this time zones nonsense. I just had to talk to someone. And why not my mum?

I put the phone to my ear hoping she would pick up. I just hope she wasn't busy at work or something.

She finally picked up the phone on the fourth ring.

"Hello, Sam?"

"Hi, mum."

"Sam, how are you, dear?"

"I'm good. How are you? Are you at work?"

"Yes, I am, sweetie. I am just looking at photos online on the computer. A friend of mine just told me you guys went out bowling with BigBang."

"Ah.." I scratched my head. "We did, mum. And we had fun."

"Ya, I can see you guys smiling and laughing on the photos." I could hear clicking in the background and that confirmed that she was tapping away on the mouse of her computer as she looked at the pictures.

"So, was it more like a competition?" she asked. "It's says here that you guys won."

"It was mum. We won," I said with a smile. "You should have seen what happened. It was awesome."

"I'll check out the videos later on and see everything for myself, dear," I could hear my mum clicking quickly on the mouse. "Now tell me. What's bothering you? Why aren't you asleep?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You know what time it is here?"

"I'm your mother, Sam. Of course I know what time it is."

I could imagine my mum with a stern look on her face as she said that. If we weren't talking on the phone and I was standing in front of her, she probably would have her arms folded.

"I know its way too early in the morning for you to be awake right now," she continued. "What's up?"

"I feel my whole life has been nothing but a lie, mum," I said as I tugged at Mr Panda's ears.

"Your name is Samantha Glasson and you're a famous pop star. That my child, is not a lie."

"Mum, you know what I mean when I say that."

She sighed. "What did you lie about this time?"

"I've lied way too much in my life, but this time, I think I'm in a really big mess that I can't seem to get out of."

"Tell me. I've all the time to listen."

"I've been lying to Zoey and everyone else about G-Dragon and I, and I don't now how to tell them, especially Zoey since she likes G-Dragon so much. It would crush her if she finds out G-Dragon likes me and not her."

"I thought you girls weren't supposed to date any one of those guys."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Wow. Collins really does tell you everything, does he?"

"Whatever he tells you, we as parents have to know too. I hope Zoey's mum isn't going to freak when she finds out."

"Trust me, mum, Collins has no clue with what's going on in our private circle and I suggest that you shouldn't say a word either."

"Is that a threat?" I imagined my mum's eyebrow raised.

"You know I can never threaten you, mum. It's just for now until we come back home. It's a matter of life and death. I've no choice."

"I know. But why does Zoey like him?"

"Knowing Zoey, you must know by now the kind of guy she would fall for, mum."

"True. But how come she likes him but he likes you? Don't tell me you also like him too."

"Well....." I hesitated, trying to figure out what to say next.

"Samantha Glasson," my mum's voice sounded stern now. "Tell me the truth."

I sighed. "I also like him, mum."

There was silence at the other end. Until....

"WHAT!"

"Mum, calm down. It's not what you think."

"Then what is it? The way I'm seeing it, you also like him and you feel guilty because you feel like you're betraying your best friend."

"It was like that at first. I really do like G-Dragon but I'm learning to like him as a close friend because I know how Zoey likes him and because of Collins' 'golden rule'." I put "golden rule" in quotation marks with my remaining fingers.

"What do you mean it was like that at first?"

"I like G-Dragon, but he isn't the only one."

"Don't tell me you like someone else from the same group too."

I closed my eyes as I winced. "Yes, mum."

She didn't say a word. I wondered what she was thinking right now.

"You're really in one hell of a mess, dear."

"And that's not the worst part."

I told her what happened the day Zoey went missing, making sure I didn't mention the stranger in the suit. I talked about what G-Dragon and I had talked about in the park and what we agreed upon. Then I told her what happened with Daesung and the kiss.

"You kissed?" my mum sounded surprised.

"Ssh, and listen."

I told her that G-Dragon and Zoey saw us but they didn't witness the kiss. And I told her what happened afterwards.

"You're in a real mess, Sam. You now have two people to tell the truth to."

"If it's not Zoey and G-Dragon, then it's the entire group."

"I know. But you can't lie forever now, can you?"

I thought of what she said. "You're right. We all deserve to know the truth someday."

"Are you scared?"

"I am. Maybe that's why I can't fall asleep." I hugged Mr Panda close to me.

"It's okay to be scared, sweetie. And it's good that you decided to come out clean."

"I don't want people getting hurt because of me." I could now feel tears coming up in my eyes.

"We all get hurt at some point in our lives, sweetie. That's why there is a time for everything. Just wait and see. After the storm, everything will be back to the way it was and everyone will forget about it. Besides, no one can stay mad at you forever, Sam. Not even me."

I smiled as a tear ran down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.

"Thanks, mum." I sniffed.

"Don't cry, okay? You're a brave girl. Now, do me a favour and get a few minutes of sleep. You will need all the rest you can get."

"Yes, mum. I will."

"Bye, Sam. Tell me what happens, okay?"

"Okay. Bye."

I hang up and I quickly got up from the couch with Mr Panda and went back in the room, straight into the bed covers. I fell asleep in an instant with Mr Panda in my arms.

It must have been some time around 7:40 when I finally woke up. The sun rays shone brightly into the room that I had to shield my eyes with my hand from the light.

"Wakey! Wakey!" Zoey came over and sat next to me.

"Mmmm." I murmered as I turned around and covered my head with a blanket. "Leave me alone."

"You've to get up, Sam. We have a big day ahead of us."

"Isn't it a Sunday today?" I asked as I removed the blanket from my head.

"Sadly, it isn't, my dear kitty," said Zoey as she placed her hand on my head. "Looks like you weren't the only one praying for it to be a Sunday."

"Okay." I muttered as I sat up on my bed and rubbed away the sleep in my eyes.

"You know you have a lot of explaining to do, right?"

I yawned, then sighed. "I know. You don't have to tell me."

"So, start talking right now."

I looked at Zoey with wide eyes. "You want to talk now?"

"Ya. I'm still really worried about you."

Looks like I had no choice. This was it. Time to tell the truth.

"What I'm about to tell you, is going to crush you completely, Zoey."

Zoey turned to look at me with a serious look on her face. "What are you saying, Sam? Is it that serious?"

"It really is, and I feel bad that I have to tell you."

I hesitated as I looked down at my hands and played with my fingers. Zoey put her hand over mine and I looked at her.

"Just tell me, Sam. Even if it's going to hurt."

I closed my eyes bracing myself for impact. My heart was pounding so hard.

"It's about G-Dragon and I," I said. "I'm sorry to say this but...."

"You like him, don't you?"

I opened my eyes in shock. That wasn't supposed to happen. And what made Zoey say all that?

"I..uh...no, that's not it."

Zoey laughed. "Don't worry, Sam. I know how much you also like him. I'm not mad."

"Zoey, that wasn't what I...."

"Expected from me?" Zoey grinned as she flipped her hair to the side. "I know, you're surprised. I like him, you like him, the whole world likes him."

"Zoey, I..." Zoey placed her index finger on my lips to keep me from talking further.

"I know you feel guilty that you like him because I do too. Don't worry about it, because I know that you wouldn't try to steal him away from me."

I gulped. What was I going to tell her now? How was I going to her that G-Dragon liked me and not her?

"Aren't you worried that G-Dragon might just like someone else and not you?" I asked.

Zoey shrugged as she was deep in thought. "I haven't thought of it that way. I know that he only has eyes for me."

I wanted to slap my forehead in frustration but I gave Zoey a weird look instead. I couldn't blame her when you were blindly in love. But I had to stop this before it gets out of hand.

"Zoey, listen to me," I said as I looked at her in the eye. "I admit that I like G-Dragon, but not in the way you think. You on the other hand, need to know that...."

I paused. That was odd. The words were spilling out of my mouth just fine. What's happened now? I felt someone had just cast a spell on me and now I was tongue tied.

Zoey looked at me, irritated that I had stopped talking. "What do I need to know?"

What was wrong with me? I had so much confidence when I was talking just now and I still do. But now, I couldn't say anything. I opened my mouth to speak, but still nothing came out. Zoey shook her head.

"You're weird, Sam," Zoey stood up from my bed and went straight for the bathroom. "When you finally have the courage to tell me what you wanted to say, I'll be waiting."

Zoey closed the door and I heard the shower tap turn on. Oh no! I blew it this time and that just proves that telling her the truth was going to be a whole lot harder than I thought.

At least Zoey knew that I once liked G-Dragon, that's if she really took what I said seriously.

This was all so messed up and I felt like I was going nuts.

I stood up from my bed and started to pace up and down, thinking. What happened to me a few minutes ago? Why couldn't I tell Zoey the truth? Well, half of it, which is the most important part.

"It's not your portion to say anything to Zoey. And you know it."

Whatever my conscious was saying inside my head was true. G-Dragon did say that he will end things with Zoey and tell her the truth. Was that why I was tongue tied and I couldn't say anything? I had no any other reason as to why.

If that was the case, then G-Dragon better do it fast. The earlier it was, the better. Before Zoey really gets too much involved with him or else she would be shattered completely.

While I was trying to figure out what to do next, my phone rang and I went on the bed to reach out for my phone that laid on top of the drawer next to the lamp.

When I checked the caller ID, I raised an eyebrow. An unknown number. I wonder who it was?

I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Bonjour, mademoiselle," came a deep husky voice from the phone. The man had a French accent.

I held my breath. That sent a chill down my spine. Who was this? Dang it! I'm supposed to be asking that question, not thinking it.

I cleared my throat. "Hello? May I know who this is?"

The man chuckled. "Who I am isn't important. What matters is that we talk."

"Talk? Talk about what?"

"Did you check the photo I sent you?"

"Photo? What...?"

I paused when I realised the photo he was talking about. I had completely forgot about it.

"Oh!" I slapped my forehead. "I never downloaded it to see what it was." I raised an eyebrow. "What's the photo about?"

"If you haven't seen it, then it's best you see it for yourself. I can't tell you over the phone. When you see it call me or text, will you, sweetheart?"

Sweetheart? What was this guy playing at? What was the photo all about?

"Are you trying to blackmail me with the photo?" I asked.

"I wouldn't call it blackmail. But everything would be more interesting if you're involved."

"If I'm involved? What do you mean?"

I could soon hear the person hanging up and I growled. I looked at my phone like I wanted to break it. What was going on today? First, I had G-Dragon and Zoey to handle and now, I had this stranger calling me and making things worse.

I looked back at my phone and started to go straight to my messages. I checked the message I had received from the unknown man and I realised that I still hadn't downloaded the picture. I switched on my mobile data and started to download the photo.

"Sam! Zoey!" Lee came all of the sudden into the room. She almost scared me.

"Goodness, Lee!" I held my chest as my heart beat fast. "There is a thing called knocking, you know?"

"I know, I thought you guys were still asleep."

"No matter," I said. "We're all awake as you can see."

"Okay. Get ready, we have to leave for the studio."

I nodded and Lee left. I went back to looking at my phone. I frowned. The internet was so slow today. The photo hadn't finished downloading yet.

"I'm done," said Zoey as she came out of the bathroom in her towel. "You go get ready."

"I just want to see something first," I said as I pointed at my phone.

Zoey walked up to me, took my phone and threw it on her bed.

"Zoey!"

"Not a word, Sam. You're always the one telling me to get ready and be punctual, but you don't want anyone telling you anything. Just go take a shower. I wonder what's up with you today."

If only she knew. So many things were running in my mind that I couldn't seem to focus on one thing because something else would just pop up all of the sudden.

I went to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Before I could undress and get into the shower, I went over to the mirror above the sink and looked at my own reflection.

I looked like I hadn't had sleep in days with all the dark circles underneath my eyes. I was deeply troubled, that's for sure. My problems just got increased by one if not by two.

G-Dragon and Zoey were my main problem to tackle today. And all of the sudden, an unknown stranger calls and tells me about the photo which I had no idea or clue about. And why he sent it to me was the most confusing part. If he wasn't blackmailing me, then what was this charade about?

After I took a quick shower, I quickly went back in the room and I went straight for my phone on Zoey's bed. Zoey had already dressed up and she went past me into the bathroom to get her makeup done.

I unlocked my phone. I was pretty anxious about the photo that even my hands were shaking. The photo must be done downloading by now.

Just as I unlocked the phone, it vibrated. Someone was calling me. Oh no! What now?

Seungri was calling. What could he probably want to talk to me about this early in the morning?

"Hello, Seungri?" I answered.

"Morning, my panda," said Seungri.

"Morning. How was your night?"

"My night was perfect, since I dreamt of you."

If I was myself, I would have blushed by those words. But now, I was as confused as ever and I didn't know what to say next.

"Oh, wow," I said, trying to act a little surprised. I hope he bought it.

"I've a little something I want to give you when you get to YG."

I smiled a little. At least out of all that was going on, Seungri managed to make me smile, which was quiet peculiar because he didn't say anything funny. I was already imagining another huge stuffed panda waiting for me.

"Can't wait," I said with a little laugh. "See you."

"You too."

He cut the line and I threw my phone on the bed. I decided to dress up first and have my breakfast, before Zoey came back in the room and start to pressurise me again. I had already pissed her enough this morning.

After I dressed up and Zoey had left for breakfast, I went in the bathroom to get my hair done and applied a bit of makeup to hide my dark circles. When I was done, I went back in the room and without a thought of making my bed, which I always did, I wore my black pumps, grabbed my phone and went out of the room.

Just as I got into the lounge, I made a bee line to the dining table. Everyone was at the table eating their breakfast.

"Someone isn't themselves this morning," said Collins as he watched me approach the dining table.

I knew he was talking about how late I was today. I was usually the earliest to be at the dining table.

"Sorry," I said as sat down next to Lee. "I was pretty bummed up, that's why."

"No pressure, just eat up, we have a lot of work to do today."

There was a variety of breakfast options today and I decided to take some cereal, which I haven't had in a while.

As I got the box of cereal and poured the contents in the bowl in front of me, I couldn't help feel all eyes were on me.

I looked up and just as I had guessed it, all eyes were definitely on me. What had I done now? I put the box of cereal down.

I looked at everyone at the table and when they didn't say a word, I shrugged my shoulders.

"What?" I asked.

Mike who sat opposite me cleared his throat. "You're eating cereal."

I frowned. "So?"

"But there is bacon and eggs with toast," said Daniel.

I was still confused. "So?"

"You usually don't eat cereal when there is bacon, eggs and toast," said Collins.

"And cereal is kind of like my thing," said Daniel.

I don't know if I just hit my head or I had now landed in Crazy Town. What was wrong with just having cereal for a change?

"I don't see the harm in eating cereal. I have oatmeal whenever I feel like it and that's still cereal," I said. "I just wanted something different for a change. Is that wrong?"

Everyone else looked at each other and then they looked back at me, shaking their heads.

"Thank you," I said as I got a jug of milk and poured into the bowl. "I haven't had sweet cereal in a while and I miss it."

"I can see that," said Zoey as she drank from her cup of coffee. I knew she was making fun of me but I decided not to say anything.

When we were done with breakfast, we headed downstairs in the lobby and the black SUV was waiting for us as usual. When we got in, I made sure to take the back seat with my brothers next to the window so that I would avoid people looking at my phone.

When everyone in the car was engrossed in some conversation that I had no interest in joining in or listening to, I decided to check my phone. The photo was done downloading and what I saw made my mouth drop and my eyes pop.

"What's wrong, Sam?" Mike who sat next to me asked.

I quickly pressed the power button on the side of the phone and the screen. Mike was already leaning onto my side to see what was on my phone.

"Nothing, just some scary video," I said.

"May I see?"

"No. You won't be sleeping for the next two days."

"I've watched horror movies before. I can handle a little scare."

"No can do, bro," I said as I put my phone into my purse that I had decided to carry with me.

Mike leaned back and folded his arms. "Whatever."

I wish I could tell him and everyone else what was going on. But at the moment, I felt like keeping everything to myself, not after what I had seen.

Now that I had seen the photo, I had to meet up with the stranger and talk about all this. But where to meet the person and when was going to be a hustle. It was pretty obvious that I had to meet him alone.

Speaking of which, I still had to convince G-Dragon about telling Zoey the truth. Now how was I going to do that given the little time I had in my hands? We had a music video to prepare for and we had to start working on the choreography today. This was hectic. And I knew that if I was pushed further onto the edge, I would burst.

Time seemed so short, given that I was thinking of ways to do things today. The next thing I knew, we had finally arrived at YG.

My heart skipped a beat. I swallowed. This was it. G-Dragon was probably with the others waiting for us inside. For a moment, I didn't want to go in. But I had no choice.

As soon as I stepped out of the vehicle, I took a deep breath as I looked at the entrance. I felt like I was about to walk into hell and that frightened me.

"Are you okay, Sam?" Christine asked as she came to stand in front of me.

"I'm fine," I said. "I just realised that I haven't really thought of any ideas for the music video."

"You're aren't the only one," Christine said with a smile. "Let's just hope our minds will get to work on that when we get in there."

I managed to put up a smile, but I knew my mind wasn't going to be on full throttle today. How I wish this wasn't happening to me right now.

As I came into the lobby with Christine, we found Collins talking to the receptionist. The rest were heading towards the elevator and we joined them.

"You will be going up to the dance studio," Collins said as he turned to us. "The others are waiting for you there."

"Okay," the others responded. I for one felt really jumpy at the moment.

We all got in the elevator and Mike was busy talking about some dance moves he had come up with and I wasn't really paying attention though I did get one or two things.

We got to the dance studio while Lee and Collins decided to go upstairs to meet with Yang Hyun-suk. We checked a few dance studios before we finally found them.

"Hey, guys!" Zoey greeted so enthusiastically as we came in the room.

I was too lost in thought to even reply to the other's greetings until Seungri came up to me and hugged me. That brought me right back down to earth.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Seungri asked, still hugging me.

"I'm fine," I said, as I pulled myself away.

"If I know you well, you look pretty occupied in that head of yours," said TOP as he walked up to us.

"Tell me about it," said Zoey as she was now on the floor with Daesung standing right beside her and she was removing her shoes. "She's been weird all morning."

"How weird?" Taeyang asked.

"Too weird," said Daniel.

"Cut me some slack, guys," I said. I looked at Taeyang. "They are just saying nonsense."

"Says the person who was so late to wake up today," said Zoey.

"And ate sweet cereal for breakfast instead of bacon, eggs and toast," said Christine.

"And refused to give me her phone to check out what she was watching," said Mike.

I shrugged. "So? And Mike, seriously? Just over a phone?" I shook my head at my brother.

"It's not like you, Sam," said Daniel. "That's all we are trying to say."

I rubbed my forehead. "Look, guys, I'm just a little bummed out because of yesterday. Is that so wrong?"

"No, I think something is bothering you," said Zoey, still on the floor.

"I'm fine. Trust me. My mind is pretty tired."

"Come on, guys, let's not stress her out because of this," said Daesung. "If she says she is tired, then she is."

Zoey slapped Daesung's leg with her hand and Daesung looked down at her. "Don't try to defend her."

"I'm not."

Zoey snickered at him and I knew why. She still remembered the little incident yesterday with Daesung and me.

"Where is G-Dragon?" Daniel asked.

I looked around the room and I noticed that GD was the only group member who wasn't here.

"He went to get the choreographer," TOP answered.

"Now, Sam, about your little problem...." said Mike, turning to face me.

"Not now, Mike," I said as I folded my arms. "You can attack me later, just not now."

"Not to worry, my little kitty," said Seungri who stood right behind me. "Maybe this will cheer you up."

Before I could turn around to ask what he meant, I felt something settle at the top of my head. My hand reached up for whatever it was.

"A lovely crown for the lovely queen of k-pop," said Seungri.

I took the crown from the top of my head to look at it. It looked more like a tiara but it was big enough to be called a crown. It was silver and studded around with what looked like real diamonds. Perched in the middle surrounded by diamonds was a sapphire stone in an oval shape.

"Wait, are these