“Why?”  Eli repeated himself, his voice merely a whisper when Kevin kept his silence.

The Eli he himself knew would be boiling by now, flipping every furniture in the house screaming into Kevin’s face, demanding an explanation. But he felt himself change as the days passed by. He was even surprise at how placid his nerves were reacting to Kevin’s confession.

A pregnant silence hangs around the room. Kevin’s weak breathes were the only thing that accompanied them. No one wanted to speak. Kevin does not want to explain himself to get a raging Eli screaming in his face. Eli on the other hand does not want to pressure the poor boy who already has too much on his mind.

“Kevin?”

Silence.

“Kevin.” Eli called out again, this time he turned to face the frail boy. His chest was slowly rising and falling in a slow rhythm. He had his head still hung low. His eyes closed. It was amazing how Kevin gets burned out and lethargic easily since he got sick. With being tired, came sleep. Kevin seems to be sleeping more, as if his dreams were the only place of tranquil to him.

Eli crawled into bed next to Kevin who still had his back to the bed frame. How uncomfortable it might have been to fall asleep in such a position. Eli carefully wrapped one arm around Kevin’s waist while the other supported the latter’s back as he lay him down on the bed. Kevin turned to his side in an instant snuggling under the blankets, like a cute little boy.

Eli smiled at the adorable side of Kevin. How Kevin has been hiding this side of him since his good health was snatched away from him. It seemed like a really long day. From the night they spend under the stars till day breaks as he carried his best friend home to Kevin breaking out into fits of pain all the way to finding out about Kevin stopping chemo. Despite not receiving an answer to his question, Eli was glad the day ends well. As long as Kevin sleeps undisturbed to regain the energy he lost, Eli is happy.

Eli remembered the promise he made to Kevin- about not leaving him alone, and he slids himself beneath the covers next to Kevin, facing the boy. Eli pulled Kevin closer to him, placing his chin on top of Kevin’s head, planting a kiss as his hands drew comforting circles on Kevin’s back. Kevin draped his arm loosely around Eli’s waist, as he find the presence next to him warm and lovely.

“Kevin, you know I love you right?” Eli whispered.

Kevin purred and dug closer into Eli’s chest.

∞

Kevin woke up to nothingness by his side. His heart broke a little as his fingers traced the spot where Eli slept, with him in his strong arms. Throughout his fight with cancer, that night was the warmest of all nights. His entire soul seemed to have been lifted up in high spirits as once again he find strength to carry on fighting being in Eli’s arms.

Kevin shifted his position in bed as he turned to face the window still snuggled up like a baby under the blankets. The sun was already up and its strong rays were burning holes into Kevin’s cold skin. Eli left when he promised he’d stay. Kevin sighed in disappointment. He’d love to wake up in Eli’s arms, for once. ing his body into the mattress like it would help him relief the pain of waking up alone, Kevin let out a soft whimper. He sat up, rubbed the sleep of his eyes, and took a deep breath before walking towards the bedroom door, ready to start his day.

With a big yawn as he stretched, Kevin reached out to the door knob and opened the door. The scene displayed by his eyes was one that made his heart skip a beat, one that made his heart melt and made him smile. Right in front of him the person he assumed to have left him was still there, in his house, in his very kitchen using the stove that have not been used for too long. Kevin stood by his door frame admiring Eli’s back as he swiftly chopped the ingredients; occasionally stir his stew and tasting the food he made. If by his death bed, someone asked what was his last meal going to be, it would definitely be Eli’s cooking. Just that. And Kevin would die without any regrets.

Kevin grinned and bit his lips as he slowly crept behind Eli who was mumbling to himself. In a swift movement, Kevin wrapped his hands around Eli’s waist and leaned his head on the taller man’s back. Kevin shut his eyes as he embraced his best friend, taking in his scent and the warmness of Eli.

“You’re awake,” Eli smiled as he puts one of his hand on top of Kevin’s while the other shutting off the stove.

“Good morning, Chef Eli,” Kevin murmured into Eli’s back, snuggling him tighter.

Eli turned to face Kevin and grabbed his arm, leading the skinny boy to the table filled with a scrumptious meal. Too much for the two of them, actually. Kevin sniffed the dishes laid out on the table, making mental notes to which one he is going to dig in to first. They were all his favourites, he was spoilt for choices. But he knew, that each dish held Eli’s care and love for him and Kevin really appreciate that because ever since his mother left him, no one ever cooked for him. Most of his days were spent eating take away dinner alone at the very dining table in the empty house.

“I thought you were dead, Kev,” Eli joked as he puts the final dish on the table and taking a seat next to Kevin. It has always been like that when they eat together. Kevin never allows people to watch him eat, he said it was embarrassing. But to Eli, everything he does is simply adorable.

“Excuse me?” Kevin asked as he began spooning out the rice into his bowl and began filling up Eli’s bowl.

“It’s been two days. You were completely knocked out for two days, Kev. Don’t you know that?”

“Two days?”

“Uh-huh, I thought I was going to call the doctor of you didn’t rise from the dead by the end of the day.” Eli chuckled as he took a mouthful of rice.

Kevin giggled both at Eli’s sense of humour and at Eli’s stuffed face. Kevin too began digging in devouring every single bite as he never know if there is a next time for him to taste his very own best friend’s cooking.

“It’s been a while Kevin. I missed it.” Eli said as he puts down his empty bowl, full.

“Miss what?” Kevin took a sip of water as he collected the dirty dishes and made his way to the sink. Eli stopped him and took the dishes away from Kevin.

“I’ll do it.” Eli said as he settled the dirty receptacles on the sink. “Later.”

Eli wiped Kevin’s mouth before pulling him out to the balcony. The bustling city air greeted them.

“Miss what, Eli?” Kevin asked again, his attention at the skyscrapers ahead of him, with the beautiful horizon of the sun rising as its back ground.

“Your laughter.” Eli simply stated as his hand slowly grabbed onto Kevin’s that were resting on the railings.

Kevin beamed at their contact. He was unsure of their status of friendship. They’re best friends, only closer. Like brothers but sometimes intimate. But whatever the status of their relationship, Kevin loved it the way it is now.

“I stopped chemo, Eli.” Kevin confessed again as he slids his hand away from Eli only to be held on to even tighter.

“I know.” Eli’s voice came out surprisingly calm. “You told me.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t tell you why.” Kevin whispered as he turned to face Eli who seemed deep in his thoughts. Kevin tugged on the hand that was gripped by Eli, wanting his attention, yearning nothing else but to have Eli looking into his eyes like he was his everything.

“You don’t have to tell me why. I trust you enough to make your own decisions,” Eli took Kevin into his arms, ruffling the hair of the skinnier boy.

Eli always have the right words to say, he always knew the words Kevin wanted to hear. Kevin wrapped his arms around Eli, hugging him tighter before pulling away with a smile. A smile that shows that he is stronger, a smile that proves no matter how much he was actually breaking inside he have that strength. A smile to prove to Eli he is fine and he needs to stop worrying for him.

“I have six months, at most.”

God knows how much Eli’s soul was tearing itself apart when Kevin spoke those words, with a smile. A god damn smile. As if it was normal for people to be living through their life with an expiry date chasing them.

“I see no reason to continue chemo, when in the end, I’m just going to die.” Kevin choked, the smile wiped away from his face. His had went up to Eli’s chest as he clutched the fabric on Eli.

“And it hurts so damn much, Eli.”

Kevin finally loses him composure as he fell to his knees.

“I thought being away from you would help both of us, to move along easier.” Kevin sobbed. Eli crouched by Kevin, leaning the broken boy to his shoulders as he drew circles on Kevin’s back to soothe him.

“But I was wrong. I needed you the most.”

“Hush, Kev.” Eli whispered as he turned the boy to face him and pressed their foreheads together.

“And now, I got you. I’m so scared to die, Eli. I don’t want to leave you. I’m scared to die, Eli. I’m so scared.”

Kevin repeated those words over and over again. There it was. The emotions that were bottled up for too long deep inside Kevin finally burst. It was clear, too clear, that behind that strong façade one that was impossible to believe that he is battling cancer lay a timid boy whose soul is broken in pieces and his only fear was death and being alone.

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A/N: HELLO. its been awhile. so there you go a looong update. i 've been sooo busy with work plus i just came back from my relaxing get away. :D im working on a one shot at th moment. yay. excitement. and i kindda updated this chapter while i was at another country. thnks guys fr putting up with my laziness and my author's block. :D I LOVE YOU ALL. <3 and keep th comments coming in, i might not reply but i swear those make me smile and is actually the reason im still writing. im THIS close to deleting this fan fiction because no matter how much i try to write. it . D: it was so demoralising. D: but oh well. im back. and this fan fiction is coming to an end. BOO. again. i love you guys!