[2013]

Things like

Changmin had always been smart and since he was sixteen a day didn’t pass without him noticing things others didn’t seem to pay attention to. They were small things, unintentional actions, thoughts made words without people even realizing it. Things people usually forgot about and which he didn’t seem able to let go, without even knowing why.

So once the good days were over and loneliness was the only thing he was left to deal with, he realized those small things were what made his life so beautiful, his youth so special.

Things like Yoochun singing sweet ballads under the shower, most times out of rhythm, but full of a strange sense of lightness that made his boring evenings a little brighter.

Things like Junsu challenging him at video-games, playing together until the night was dark and the tiredness of the day took over them, making them fall asleep on the sofa in the living room, only to wake up hours later with a warm blanket over them.

Things like Jaejoong wandering among the kitchen, whistling, humming or singing while cooking their dinners with the last energies left at the end of the day: dark circles under his eyes but a sweet smile always welcoming them.

Things like Yunho reassuring them before a big performance, a hand on their shoulders and encouraging words leaving his mouth, reaching their ears as blessings in the night air.

Things like waking up to Yunho’s unbelievable morning dance routines, like the annoying expression on Junsu’s face after one of their pranks, like Jaejoong’s full lips and red cheeks sneaking out from Yunho’s room, like Yoochun’s random English jokes or that feeling of carefreeness that seemed to have disappeared with the end of his youth.

Changmin knew he didn’t  have to complain about his life, he knew there were people who lived far worse lives than his, but he couldn’t help thinking where all those small things had gone, wondering if maybe a little hope was all they needed to come back.