[2016]

A room full of dreams

Junsu didn’t know how it started, but by the time he was 30, he realised he had a room in which he had been storing his most precious things through time. It was a small storeroom, right beside the entrance, in which he had been treasuring little objects, old photographs, new musical posters; it was a room in which he came to think, to reflect, to make big decisions. He was used to sitting in the middle and look around, tracing the imaginary line that brought that little kid who loved to sing to the man he was today.

In the small room, there was a videogame.
There was no tv, no computer, but the empty cover stood there, on one of the several shelves, reminding him of sleepless nights spent playing with Changmin until they were both too tired to press the buttons and fell asleep with the game still going on.

In the small room, there was a football ball too.
It was red, covered with golden signatures and cute designs. It reminded him of Yunho and that passion they shared for sports besides the one for singing and dancing. It reminded him of long lost matches and broken laughs, of tiring training days and warm embracing hugs.

In the small room there was also an album.
It marked the beginning of a new career, it was the weapon he and Jaejoong and Yoochun had fought against SM with. It was the first of the many versions that had to be released because of an unfair envioronment, because of mother nature law of how power defies justice.

In the small room, there was a picture too.
It was old and its corners were either ruined or about to be torned out, but there was something about it that made it impossible for Junsu to throw it away. There was something about the way it always managed to reassure him in uncertain situations, something about the happiness the people on it used to feel that made him willing to hope those feelings weren’t lost forever.

In the small room there were lots of things.
There was a ticket from his first musical, Mozart!, his first concert tour dvd and a bright trophy from one of the achivements gained as Dong Bang Shin Ki.
There was a matched ring he and his twin brother bought together years ago, his FC men t-shirt and pillars of his favourite singers’ cds.
There was a box of polaroids that belonged to other times, a stuffed dolphin and many other items that had had role too important in his past to be set aside.

Junsu didn’t know why he had started collecting things, maybe it had been his way to hold memories when his mind was too busy fighting an undesired reality to treasure them. Maybe it had been his way to remember where he came from, a way not to forget all those little things that had forged a part of his personality, that had helped him turn his flaws into his values.

In some way that small room had become his safe place, his refuge.
It was a time machine that allowed him to travel back in time to the times he desired the most.

Hidden in the middle of a damned society, it was, indeed, his room full of dreams.