Bang Yongguk

I was at the grocery store  after class. HaSeul always bought ice cream to eat at home. The fridge had a freezer but she insisted to go get her fresh ice cream at the convenient store nearby. It would be easier to just get a pack of ice cream and just go to the freezer to have some. I was looking at the different brands  when a lady came to my side. I took a step back thinking she wanted to have a look at the ice cream and yet she was still fixing me. She was weird.

I froze seeing her face. That lady in front of me was no other than my mom. The person that told me how disappointed  of me she was, to never contact her again. "YongGuk, I've seen you in the grocery store and thought maybe we could talk."

She walked towards me and I took steps back keeping the distance between us reasonable.

"It's been a while, how about we have coffee together ?"

I looked at her, pretty shocked and controled my fear. "You don't seem that shocked to see me. You learned about the news ?"

My mom that was so talkative earlier became obviously uncomfortable. "Yeah, there were media coverage."

So they knew. They knew they just dumped me like I was a scumbag when I didn't had any evil intention. I nodded slowly.

The woman in front of me touched my hand. "Let's have some coffee. Your dad must be somewhere around."

"I'm not having coffee with you. You wanted me out of your life."

"Yeah but things changed."

I scoffed. "Yeah you don't say. I'm recovering. These days, I'm doing fine, I don't owe you anything. You are messing with my recovery !"

She looked at the floor. "My son, please talk to me. We need to sort things out.”

"Leave me alone. This is what we are going to do. And don't call me like that, you lost that right."

She started sobbing in the middle of the icecream alley. I froze. I had a boiling anger inside of me yet a part of me hated seeing this woman cry. I was considering leaving the supermarket when my dad ran to our side. He gave me a little nod before Mom shoulders. "What are you doing here ? I thought you didn't had the courage to go and see him."

"YongJu wanted icecream." She answered. She reported her attention on me. " YongGuk please, for Yongju. She missed you so much. We all missed you."

“Well, I need to leave.”

“Come when you'll be ready YongGuk.” My dad said gently.

I looked at them longly before leaving the grocery store.I sat on a bench and felt empty. Really empty. I had the reflex to take deep breaths to calm myself. As I feel stare on me, I turned myself and looked at my parents with their grocery bags, heading to the parking lot. My mother looked concerned. "Are you okay  YongGuk ?"

I gave her an annoyed look. "Don't act like you care now."

She looked shocked over my words, my dad looked really surprised too. Yet they didn't reply to me. That meant my anger was justified. My mother slowly took steps back.

"You have my number, right ? When you'll be ready .... I'll be waiting for your call. Take care of yourself, Yongguk."

I looked at them walk to the parking lot. They did grew a bit older. It felt weird for me to face them and be angry like this. I was the son that always made them proud. Being accepted in Seoul University for them was a huge achievement and my mom couldn't help but bragg to her friend. So I get it. Her disappointement, the shame, the stare and rumors.

I was so heartbroken this took over her love for me. As they left, I entered back the grocery store and proceeded to my shopping quietly. I even found back the basket I left in the ice cream alley. As I took the bus to go home, I felt sad, but mostly empty. It drained energy from me in a way I couldn't explain. So when I arrived home, I put everything in drawers. As I finished my task, I headed to the living room and found HaSeul on the couch, watching TV with a sad expression. We looked at each other in disbelief.

"You're not at work ?" I blurted out, we were in the early afternoon.

"You're not at university ?" She asked back. I joined her on the couch. "I had a difficult day. What about you ? Are you sick ?"

"I just ... I got my period and started to feel a bit nauseous and my vision became a bit blurry. So they made me take my day."

I was utterly shocked. "Well you should have call me. I would have pick you up ! What if you fainted ?!"

HaSeul gave me a confused look. "How did you think I did when I was single ? I can manage going home alone. Plus, I thought you went to classes and didn't want to bother you."

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