Bang YongGuk

I put on cologne, took my brand new bag and stationary. I was ready to leave for my first university classes since my release. I only have been in university for a single year so I was really stressed out. As I prepped myself for my classes, HaSeul came into the house running. “You’re still here. Good.”

I looked at her, completely stressed out. I was convinced that everyone will know me. HaSeul looked at my black jeans, black hoodies and black shoes with a pout. I really wanted to blend in. That no one would ever lay his eyes on me on the first day of night classes. After reviewing my options, I chose to finish university, I e and had to take an exam to become a social worker. Ideally, I wanted to help people get back on track : difficult children, drugs addicts or so. I felt like those problems would distract me from my own problems and insecurities.

“You look very … black.” Haseul said, with that soft voice of her.

“I don’t want to raise attention.” I said to her, putting on a black cap. She nodded to me  with worried eyes and took my hand. “Let’s go.”

I looked at her with really surprised eyes. “You’re coming?”

She nodded. “Wasn’t that obvious? I know you’re stressed out and maybe having someone with you will make it easier for you.” She removed my cap slowly, playing with my hair. My girlfriend took my face in her hands and gave me a slow, lovely kiss. I wrapped my arms around her waist.

“You’ll assist to the class?” I asked, really touched she was coming with me.

HaSeul took a book from her bag to show me. I chuckled. Of course HaSeul will read while I attend the class.

I walked to the neighborhood university with a lot of apprehension and I must admit holding HaSeul hand helped me, I think that if I came alone, I would have run away like a coward. We sat down pretty in the back of the classroom and soon the class started, I took my notes with a precise handwriting, soon forgetting my stress. It felt good to go to classes. I couldn't help but feel distracted. HaSeul looked so peaceful, so beautiful when she reads. It was obvious she was really digging the story and I brushed a rebellious strand of hair out of her face. She raised her head and blinked looking at me. I smiled at her before giving back my attention to the professor. As the professor gave us five minutes of break, I turned myself to HaSeul she was half way though her book. I took her hand and she smiled to me. “YongGuk, so you like it ?”

I could only nod. HaSeul smiled to me. “I’ll go grab some coffee at the vending machine, you want something?”

I stood up. “Let’s go together.” University here was just nice, yet the vending machine was selling such bad coffee I sighed taking my first sip. "It's not any different than the vending machine in jail." I blurted out just like that. Haseul handed me her chocolate bar and we shared this chocolate bar. I her arm gently. "Hey I wanted to tha-"

"Hey guys !! I'm sitting just behind you ! I'm Chae JiHoon !"

The guy looked legitimately genuine and I blinked, not knowing what to say. HaSeul looked at me before presenting herself. “Nice to meet you I’m Haseul.”

The guy smiled to her. “What about you ?” He turned himself to me and I had a little smile. “YongGuk.”

As we chitchatted a little bit I felt less anxious when the class started back. That guy seemed nice. He even complimented me on my writing. The class was over and I couldn't realize my first ever class since I got released was over.

We walked in the hall, ready to leave the university when someone shouted. "HaSeul is that you ?" 

HaSeul froze hearing that voice and bite her lip. She turned herself and I did the same. A man in a suit ran to her side. HaSeul looked awfully embarassed. The man was exited to see her, showing a huge smile. “Hi” Haseul muttered, avoiding his eyes.

“It’s been a while we’ve seen each other, right ? How come you came to the university ?” He said, really baffled to see her here, he looked so excited that he ran his hands on HaSeul shoulders. Whaouh, they seemed close. HaSeul was going to answer when he took her arm, starting to walk. "Wait, let's have dinner together. It's been so long. "

HaSeul removed his hand gently and sighed, awkward. “I was keeping company to someone.”

The man finally teared his eyes from HaSeul and realized she wasn't alone for the first time, when I was at her side the whole time. He looked at me head to toes. We stared at each other, more than we should have before he politely bowed to me and I imitated him. Was that Professor Ok ?  He was well buidt, with a great fashion sense. I looked so ridiculous with my black clothes in comparison.

He suddenly changed, becoming cold and stiff. “Well, Sorry HaSeul, I didn't want to bother you. I need to go.”

As he left, Haseul looked at him with sorry eyes. She almost looked flustered. I came to her side. "Who was this man ?" I asked, trying not to sound affected.

"Professor Ok." She revealed to me.

I sighed. They looked good next to each other. And I could feel how gentle he was. “You rejected him ? Haseul ... you’re really a dumb woman. Look at him, his situation.”

“You’re not even jealous.” She stated, sad. I sighed. “HaSeul when a guy like this confess to you, you indulge.”

HaSeul gulped hard. “He even kissed me you know.” Her voice was angry and she looked at me with fierce eyes. I sighed. “HaSeul I really want the best for you.”

She gasped, before avoiding my eyes. “I don’t want to have this conversation.” Riding the bus, HaSeul opened her book and we ride the bus in silence. It wasn’t a peaceful and comfortable silence like the ones we usually shared, but an oppressing silence, I could almost feel Haseul anger run thought her blood. As it was time for us to leave the bus, I took her hand. HaSeul gave me the most hateful glare I’ve ever saw from her. We were walking to the house when I cleared my throat. “Did he really kiss you ?”

HaSeul stopped her steps and had a scoff. “Don’t act as if you care now.”

“Why do you get so angry over that ?” I asked with a soft voice.

She scoffed and took a deep breath. “You're my boyfriend and you just threw me in someone else arms. Should I call him right now ? So we can have a date tomorrow.”

I blinked, surprised of her anger. “Hey, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have say that.”

HaSeul avoided my eyes and entered her house. She sat on the couch and made herself comfortable on the couch. “HaSeul.” I said, with a pleading voice.

“Don’t talk with me.” She warned me. I looked at her turn on the TV and sat on the sofa next to her. I reached to touch her hair and she stopped my hand. “Keep your hands to yourself.”

She was angry at me. For real. I stood up and gave her a last look. HaSeul didn't look at me back. I decided to go outside and have a walk alone. I didn’t get why she would get so angry over those few words. I was saying the ugly truth. That guy was a hundred time a better catch than I will ever be.

I had a good walk around the neighborhood, staring at the view in the park. It was so peaceful. When I came back home, I found HaSeul sleeping on the couch. I sighed at this view and turned off the TV before covering her with a blanket.The couch was very cosy and small and the fact that HaSeul can fit in there to sleep amazed me. She looked so small and fragile when she slept here. Like a baby.

*

The next morning, I woke up early and got downstairs to prepar breakfast. The first thing I did was to check HaSeul in the living room. The couch was empty. I was not prepare