Chapter Three

“Unequal Ratio”- Portfolio Three

∞

                “I’m back! It smells good, grandma. Did you make a new batch of kimchi? I'm starv—”

                "Hello, my dear niece. How did you do at the auditions?"

                Chae Rin appeared from the kitchen, leaning on the wood doorway. There was a smug expression on her face. Like she knew exactly what had gone down in that room a few hours earlier.

                "O-oh, that . . . well. I met Park Yoochun."

                "That's beneficial," she mumbled. "But how did you stack up with the others?"

                "I didn't make it. Yoochun's manager said I changed his image too much."

                Rae Mi reached for a meager piece of the steaming beef set on the table. Yum.

                "Uh uh, nope. So you didn't get picked?"

                The beef was yanked from her fingertips and thrown into her aunt's mouth instead. Rae Mi pouted as she watched her chew. She hung her head and reached for another piece but that too was taken away and put into Chae Rin's mouth. Chae Rin was feeling more cynical than usual today. She had a knack for playfully teasing her niece but a bitter feeling was forming at the back of . She was still a little hung over the fact of her boyfriend’s betrayal. Teasing Rae Mi was just a way to comfort herself.

                "Auntie!" she whined.

                "Give it a rest, Rin. Rae Mi's probably starving. Auditions take up a lot of energy, right?"

                Rae Mi's head snapped up and her eyes glowed with happiness. He stood by the front door, casually stripping off his shoes and leather jacket. His hair was set into a Mohawk and his eyes curved into a crescent moon as he smiled at them. One of his hands held the doorway, supporting himself as he removed his shoes and the other held a stack of manila folders with scraps of paper jutting out in clumps.

                "Youngbae-oppa, what are you doing here? I thought Aunt Rin dumped all her work on you at the office—"

                "Yah! Don't blame me! He said he wasn't going to come with me! I hate it when you two are together. It doubles my workload!"

                Chae Rin stomped out of sight, her footsteps banging against the rickety stairs. Rae Mi took the paperwork from Youngbae, setting it aside on a glass table in the living room before jumping into his embrace. Oh c'mon, the man was known for his lean upper body and besides that, he was by far the closest thing to a father she had. Youngbae laughed and hugged her back, ruffling her hair in the process.

                "When did you get here?"

                "Just this morning," he answered honestly. "I was running some errands for your grandma since she invited me over. Be sure to thank her later. I'm going to go check on Rin, you know how she is."

                "Wait—" Youngbae paused halfway up the steps, leaning against the railing. "Do you . . ."

                "Do I . . . ?"

                "Are you and Aunt Rin . . . um. Never mind, maybe another time."

               He stared at her confused for a minute before shrugging and continuing his way up. As soon as Rae Mi heard him enter her aunt's room she raced to her own bedroom, jumping onto the cushion-y mattress—

               "Ow! What the heck are these?!"

               Piles upon piles of fashion magazines were stacked around her room. It almost looked like a library . . . except messier . . . and less organized. She flipped one open out of curiosity, took one glimpse at the first page then shut it, flinging it across the room from shock. She blinked at the memory of the picture. That was what models posed for? The model on the first page was almost with her hair covering her s and tiny jean shorts secured on her hips. Fashion? It was borderline !

                "Rae Mi, are you in there?"

                "Grandma, I'm here."

                An aging woman stepped out from behind the door, her eyes shining as she gazed fondly at her granddaughter. She hobbled over to Rae Mi, leaning carefully on her walking stick for support.

               “What’s with that expression?”

               “Me?” Rae Mi pointed at herself. “I don’t have an expression.”

                “You’re going to read over these magazines for future modeling reference, right?”

                “Eh? These are all for me?”

                “Chae Rin told me you’re pursuing a lifelong dream, I just wanted to help . . .”

                A grim look crossed Rae Mi’s face as she scowled at the magazines piled on either side of her. Of course Chae Rin would say that. Why was she so surprised anymore? Lifelong dream my . . . Her grandma pouted, speaking in a soft willowy tone, “I had to walk all the way to her office to get these for you. Are you really not going to read them?”

               “W-well, if you put it that way, I guess—“

               “Something’s wrong with you.”

               Chae Rin’s eyelids fluttered open, her vision blurring as she tried to decipher the person speaking. Youngbae? He walked over, arms crossed in a business-like manner. His lips formed a thin line as he studied her body position while Chae Rin rolled her body to face an open window. She didn’t want him to see her blush, he was unintentionally making her feel butterflies. She stayed silent, allowing the quietness of the room to seep in. Was he gone?

               “Can you please tell me? You know I’m here for you,” his voice assured. Chae Rin heard his voice, but she didn’t see him. Her eyes caught sight of the tip of his Mohawk when she allowed herself to peek down at the floor perpendicular to her bed. Chewing his bottom lip in concentration, he had no idea she was staring at him.

                “It’s nothing, it’ll just upset you,” she briskly replied, getting up from her bed. The springs creaked as the weight was lifted away and then it was silent again. She reached out for the silver doorknob when she felt Youngbae’s presence looming over her. His hand slammed over the door, just as she attempted to open it. Chae Rin breathed hard; he was getting too close for comfort. “Youngbae . . .”

                “What’s too hard to tell your best friend? Is it something between you and Jaeho again?”

                Bingo.

                “No, I said don’t worry!”

                “But—“

                “Stop worrying about me like you’re my boyfriend or something! It’s nothing!”

                Youngbae’s hand limply fell to his side, his eyes staring at the back of her head. Like you’re my boyfriend or something . . .

                She’s right. Why am I acting so over-protective? No, I know why I’m acting so over-protective. It’s the first time she’s stayed with someone for six months.

                Chae Rin glanced back at Youngbae when he didn’t speak for awhile. He shuffled away from her sighing. A pang of guilt hit her chest without warning but she brushed it away. Her phone vibrated in her pocket and the familiar voice of her boyfriend attempting to sing filled the room. He had insisted on making his own ‘special’ ringtone for her. She glanced at his picture trying to tune out his scratchy vocals. One missed call. Her phone rang again, this time signaling a new message.

                Where are you?

                Wherever you’re not, she thought. She really didn’t want to talk with him. A few days ago she’d told him she’d send her assistant to drop off the jacket he left at her office when he visited. Luckily her only scheduled appointment had backed out last minute and she had time to drop it off herself. Asking one of his friends for his job address, she headed off.

                She should’ve known. Her luck with men wasn’t the best, especially considering the fact she broke up with every single one of her boyfriends because they’d cheated on her sometime or another during their relationship. It wasn’t her fault she had to manage a big company. Chae Rin had half a nerve to give up on men entirely; all they brought with them was drama, drama, and more drama. Her phone rang again.

                Are you coming?

                Youngbae was sprawled out on her bed in deep thought, his eyes diverted to the white ceiling. Best friends. He wasn’t sure if the title that befell him was a blessing or a curse. A blessing, because he knew he couldn’t be with Chae Rin any other way; a curse, because of the same reason. He rolled onto his stomach, head buried into his arms. Soft hands cupped his shoulders and squeezed lightly.

               “I’m sorry for being like this, Youngbae,” whispered her voice. The warmth left his shoulders a few seconds later. He looked towards Chae Rin who was solemnly staring down at him. To anyone else it may have looked like she was fine, but no one knew her better than him; and she was definitely not fine. “I have to go meet Jaeho. I’ll be back in an hour. See you.”

              “Wait, Chae Rin,” Youngbae reached over to press his hand comfortingly over hers. There was a moment of silence; another moment missed to tell her everything. “You don’t have to be strong all the time. That’s why I’m here, to help you carry your problems so they don’t weigh you down.”

                She didn’t say anything like Youngbae expected her to. Instead she coldly brushed his hands away and left, the slam of the front door making its way to Youngbae’s ears. He was alone again. Like a grown man, he too hid his problems, his feelings. The growing ache in his heart for her wasn’t dulling, it was growing stronger. That was the problem with being best friends with a girl. Sometimes, the boundaries of love and friendship were crossed, and things can never go back to the way they were before.

                “C’mon Chae Rin; you’re drunk again,” Youngbae grunted as he hoisted his best friend into his arms. He bowed apologetically to the bartender and gave him an extra tip for calling him to pick her up. Even if he’d interrupted an important business meeting, Chae Rin was more important. He’d be scolded for it later since she never recalled her frequent visits to the bar. Youngbae felt it was best to keep it from her for now.

                  Club-goers made way for Youngbae as he carried Chae Rin to his car. A few people stared at him sympathetically, if he didn’t remember correctly, this was the second time she’d gone to this bar. It was a good thing people didn’t know the face of the CEO of Nam Enterprises well enough to know she was a frequent visitor to bars after a break-up.

                  Chae Rin clung to his suit, refusing to let go as he tried to place her into his car. She shook her head, mewing in protest at his attempts. Youngbae sighed and closed his car door, signaling a taxi for them instead. He carefully maneuvered himself into the cab with Chae Rin resting on his lap. She snuggled into his chest, her breathing steadying after a few minutes of driving.

                  “Girlfriend?” chuckled the cab driver.

                  “No,” Youngbae truthfully replied. “She’s my best friend.”

                  “But you don’t love her as a best friend,” he took his eyes off the road to look at Youngbae through the rear view mirror. Youngbae gazed tenderly at Chae Rin, brushing her hair away from her face and wiping at the tear stains on her cheeks. He caught the cab drivers eyes and quickly looked back down at Chae Rin knowing he’d been caught.

                 “What gave me away?”

                 “The way you’re holding her says it all. You’re holding her to your chest, almost protective-like. This is your stop,” he added. The cab driver waved his hand as Youngbae offered money to pay for the ride. “Keep it.”

                  “Thank-you,” he whispered, allowing Chae Rin to make herself comfortable in his arms.

                  “Goodbye.”

                  Youngbae started up the flight of stairs, being careful to not make too much noise. He didn’t want to wake up Grandma Yoo Ri or Rae Mi. Chae Rin groaned as he set her down on her bed, still clinging onto him for dear life.

                  “Chae Rin, you have to let go of me,” Youngbae murmured. It was after he said it that he realized the double meaning behind those words.

                  “No, stay here,” she whined. “You’re the only guy who’s ever stayed with me. Don’t leave me too.” She looked up at him pouting.

                  “Alright, just go to sleep.”

                  His eyelids were heavy but he could still make out the silhouette of her face nearing his. Nearing his . . . Youngbae’s eyes snapped open, resting on Chae Rin’s face no less than a centimeter away from him. He held his breath as she leaned in closer.

                  “Why didn’t I fall in love with you, Youngbae? Then everything would be simpler because I know you’d never let me fall alone.”

                   Chae Rin finally moved in closer, pressing her lips to Youngbae’s. She pulled his body closer to hers, savoring the warmth that radiated off him. She kissed him harder, wrapping his arms around her waist. She left another kiss on his collar bone before snuggling into the base of his neck and drifting off to sleep. Youngbae’s hands trembled on her waist as he tried to comprehend what had just happened. He slipped his hands off her waist and moved away from her, standing to look out the window.

                    Instead of feeling happy a rush of fear ran through him. Now, for sure, there was no way of denying what he truly felt for Chae Rin. There was no more wavering because that kiss made him certain, certain that he truly was in love with his best friend. That was the first night Youngbae cried since he was a little boy.

                    Outside in the hallway, Grandma Yoo Ri clutched the handle of her cane, listening intently to the almost non-existent noise of the house. A pained sob came from Chae Rin’s bedroom. Crying again, Youngbae? She peaked into the bedroom to see his face worn with dried tears. His eyes had lost their familiar glow again and he was unusually pale.