CHAP 19: ALIVE……

The called boy couldn’t help but get shocked. He couldn’t believe his ears anymore. Was that Kevin just called his name? Kevin really called him, didn’t he? Kiseop’s eyes widened more and more.

“Kevin… you just said my name, didn’t you?” he asked to make sure that he didn’t misheard.

Kevin nodded his head slowly. An indescribable emotion exploded in his heart to see Kiseop’s reaction. The older’s eyes were sparkling because of tears and happiness.

“Oh, gosh! Kevin, you don’t know how much I’m happy now.” He said truly wiping some tears stained in his eyes.

“But why do you decide to talk to me again?” Kiseop asked since he was really confused about that. Amongst everyone, he might be the one that Kevin treated coldly the most.

The space immediately went quiet as Kevin stood still trying to find the right words and Kiseop stuck his eyes to the ground as he was somehow afraid the answer from Kevin.

Suddenly Kiseop was pulled back by Kevin. The little boy was holding him tight from behind making him startled a lot. Why did he do that? Besides the curiousness, Kiseop could have the tingling feeling in his stomach for the warmth Kevin was giving him.

“Kiseop… I miss you…” Kevin let out his words using his greatest braveness.

Kiseop was startled a lot. After all Kevin did to him these days, there was nothing saying that he missed him. Just unbearable coldness and complete ignorance. So why did Kevin say he missed him? Kiseop was about to ask him but was stopped by Kevin’s sentence.

“And I’m sorry you too…”

“Sorry for acting so nonchalantly to you recently. That must hurt you very much. I’m really sorry… sorry for everything.” Kevin apologized sadly. Just in a few minutes, so many sorry’s were said. And apologies somehow always made the situation more heartbroken though they had a beautiful and functional meaning.

“Don’t ask me why now. I’ll tell you when I’m ready. Just know that from now on, I won’t be like that again. I promise.” he promised firmly.

Kevin slowly let go of Kiseop making them both feel the loss at that moment. Something was cold. Something was missed. Something was empty. Kiseop awkwardly scratched the back of his head. He couldn’t describe what he was feeling now. Hearing Kevin’s voice was already too good for him. Knowing that Kevin missed him was fantastic. So having Kevin’s promise almost made his heart explode from happiness. But he was worried and curious as well. There must something really terrible happening to Kevin in the past that made him behave like that. That “something” must require him a lot of courage to tell someone. For that reason, Kiseop was willing to wait for him no matter what.

“I’ll wait. And… Thank you for talking again.” Kiseop muttered sticking his eyes onto the ground.

Kevin didn’t say anything just nodding simply. He was still shocked at himself and what had just happened. He didn’t expect to talk again. What was more? He didn’t expect the first state he told Kiseop was “I miss you”. Logically he had to ignore Kiseop completely and never talk to him. Kevin didn’t know why he said that. That confession just came out naturally which proved that those words were really from the bottom his heart. He really missed Kiseop. How couldn’t he? He thought about Kiseop every day, to be exact every second. Those past years, he didn’t do anything but lie on his bed and let his mind wander to where it wanted to reach most. And that place was nowhere but Kiseop’s image. Although he thought of Kiseop in the most painful way, he still couldn’t allow his mind to forget Kiseop. Each second like that passed, his mind got more exhausted and weaker to death. Anyway, bad or good, Kevin still missed Kiseop.

Basically Kevin didn’t expect Kiseop’s tears to soak his shirt either. He didn’t know why Kiseop cried that hard. His body was even trembling violently. Kiseop in his mind was a really strong person and he would never cry. But today he cried and let out all his emotions.

Kevin listened concentratively to each word coming out from the other’s mouth. Each word was spoken in the most emotional way. Each word has its own meaning that touched the bottom of Kevin’s heart. Kiseop must be hurt badly because he apologized to Kevin several times for everything he did. When in fact, it wasn’t his fault at all. Kevin suddenly realized that he himself was the one that made things get this terrible. He was just afraid of being hurt. So he created a strong wall to protect him from everything from this world. He had thought that he became like this because of Kiseop’s fault partly for not coming back. But he hadn’t thought that Kiseop had his life and his own problems. Kevin found out that all these times, he was acting like a selfish person not caring about anyone else except for himself. That was the reason why Kevin found sorry was the right word to speak to Kiseop at that time.

He then thought that Kiseop would ask why he was living like this so he quickly prevented Kiseop from speaking that out. He knew Kiseop was trustworthy to confide in about his family problem. But he wasn’t really ready to tell anybody about that and it would lead to the matter that he had to admit his selfishness and stupidity which he didn’t want to. He would tell Kiseop whenever he was ready and overcame that problem. Although he had talked again, it didn’t mean he had dealt with it successfully and completely.

However thinking that way, Kevin felt even guiltier. Why was he so selfish? He did everything just for his sake. Meanwhile Kiseop… a strong person like Kiseop had shed tears for him. He eventually knew that those tears were full of care. Kiseop cared about him so much. He worried about his condition so much. His concern must be swallowing him gradually taking control over him. Because of that, he had lost his coolness and even apologized for crying. Why did Kiseop have to do that? Because Kiseop definitely wanted Kevin live normally again so badly. He was willing to lose his time, his energy, his image… and many other things to make his wish come true. But all these times, Kevin just thought to himself that no one in this world cared about him. Everyone had left him alone making him suffer from great pains. He blamed everything on everything.

“Funny, Kevin, funny. You are such an idiot.” Kevin thought bitterly.

All those years, Kevin always had a person that cared for him so much, a person that considered Kevin as a precious treasure, a reason to keep on trying. That person’s heart could be broken or fluttered easily by just one simple action from Kevin. And what Kevin had been doing was blaming that admirable person and ignoring him completely. Kevin finally realized how ridiculous he had been. And this time, he wouldn’t let his stupidity, ridiculousness and selfishness take control. If he did that, he would live in regret his entire life. Eventually Kevin decided to confess everything, including his family problem and his mental problem, to Kiseop. Everything must be clear now.

Kiseop stood there staring at Kevin worriedly. He hadn’t said anything since Kiseop thanked him. Crystal tears were escaping from the corners of his eyes more quickly by the time. What was wrong with Kevin? Kiseop didn’t know but he must do something. He didn’t want to see Kevin cry even one second. That hurt him. The sight of Kevin crying without letting out any sobs twisted Kiseop’s heart.

Kiseop slowly raised his hand to wipe away the tears on Kevin’s cheeks. His heartbeat got faster and faster through every inch his hand came closer. He was extremely nervous. He was nervous to touch Kevin’s skin. He was nervous to be slapped away by Kevin. He was nervous for everything. Each second he spent with Kevin was just like a challenging adventure to Kiseop.

The moment Kiseop’s hand reached Kevin’s cheek he could feel his whole body heat up. He could also feel that the other’s skin become hotter. Maybe it was because of the hot tears or the physical interaction between the two. Both of them didn’t know and didn’t care much. The simple reason was Kevin’s reaction. They were busy focusing instead of the rising heat of their bodies.

Kevin quickly took Kiseop’s hand that was wiping his tears away. Holding it tightly, he tenderly pressed it against his cheek as if he was trying to linger the warmth from Kiseop’s touch. He forcefully took it away from his face. Gathering all his courage, Kevin looked up Kiseop. Inhaling enough fresh air to fill his lung, he opened his mouth to speak to the latter.

“Kiseop, I want to tell you something…”  

Kiseop couldn’t hide his excite and happiness because he felt that Kevin trusted him more and decided to tell him something important. He listened attentively to the other. Twisting his hand a little so that he was the one holding Kevin’s hand now, somehow he found it necessary to do so. Maybe it gave the little boy more guts to say what he was going to say.

They looked into each other’s eyes waiting for the next event. Kevin was going speak again but was interrupted by a loud slam on the door.

“Kiseop! Kevin! We have to go now! I see a teacher approaching here.” Jaeseop’s voice echoed.

Both of them sighed heavily. Why must be this moment? They had been waiting too long for it. But anyway they had to left now. Playing truant was a big guilt that led to an intense punishment. No one wanted that, did they? They weren’t afraid of that much but they were afraid of the others more. Sharing the same thought, they let go of each other and headed to the door where there was a good friend waiting for them.

“Have your problems been fixed?” Jaeseop immediately asked when the door behind him opened.

Kevin didn’t say anything so Kiseop decided to be the one to answer.

“Almost. But it is ok with me now.” He said smiling shyly.

“It’s good. We will talk later. Now go.” Jaeseop suggested hurrying to the stairs.

Kiseop and Kevin quickly followed their friend. Taking some last seconds, Kiseop spoke out his query.

“Kevin?” he called to get Kevin’s attention. Kevin looked at him questioningly. It seemed to be his habit to express everything through his face instead of acts.

“Are we… friends now?” Kiseop’s question came out almost like a whisper.

“Definitely.” Kevin whispered back.

For an unknown reason, Kevin giggled cutely. It had been a long time since he last did that. So the feeling was so fresh, fresh to him and fresh to Kiseop and Jaeseop who was watching the whole scene.

Before Kiseop turned to other corridor to his classroom, Kevin grabbed his hand and Jaesop’s too. That made the two boys startled a bit but didn’t refuse. They looked at Kevin with confusion written all over their faces.

“Thank you a lot for making me feel alive again.” Kevin confessed honestly.

The two boys looked at each other then smiled sweetly to Kevin. No word was needed to say now. Kiseop shuffled Kevin’s hair a little.

“See you two then.” Kiseop said winking playfully before rushing to his class………

A/N: Sorry for making you guys wait. These days I have been focusing so much on another fanfic of mine, Sky of love. So I forgot to update this =.=

Tell me what you think about this chap please. It's quite long, isnt it???? Because I spent a lot of time on writing it ^_^

HOPE YOU ENJOY READING AND PLZ COMMENT!!!!!!!!!

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