CHAP 18: LET IT OUT…

The fifth day at school

Jaeseop looked at Kevin’s emotionless face. He couldn’t stand this anymore. Obviously Kevin had so many things to tell Kiseop. He was certain about that. Kevin’s eyes toward Kiseop told him all. But why? Why did he always give Kiseop cold shoulders?

Suddenly a brilliant idea popped into his mind. He must arrange an appointment for these two complicated people. And why didn’t he do it right now? Because they had reached his limit. He quickly asked for excuse to go outside. He immediately called Kiseop and told him to meet him at the roof. He didn’t tell him why, of course, but he knew Kiseop couldn’t reject since he used his most pleading tone. Smiling satisfyingly, he came back to his class. Kiseop was certainly rushing to the roof now.

Sitting comfortably next to Kevin, Jaeseop started to think about how to bring Kevin out. Kevin was much more difficult to deal with than Kiseop. Ruffling his hair, Jaeseop let out a heavy sigh. He couldn’t think of anything. His mind didn’t function well now. As the last resort, Jaeseop held Kevin’s hand then dragged him out of the class. He completely ignored everyone’s eyes, including Kevin’s and the teacher’s, and the poor boy’s weak struggle. Jaeseop himself didn’t know where the courage was from. Anyway he had to fix his friend’s problem first.

Kiseop stood blankly on the roof wondering why Jaeseop called him here. He had been waiting for more than 10 minutes and he still had class. But the way Jaeseop called him so insistently that he couldn’t refuse. Kiseop really worried about what was wrong with him.

The door to the roof suddenly swung open revealing two figures. It was Jaeseop and Kevin. Jaeseop was holding Kevin’s twist tight making Kevin completely fail in struggling.

Kevin threw Jaeseop an annoying glare that seemed to say that “Why do you bring me here?”

Jaeseop didn’t say anything. He just led Kevin to the roof where there was someone waiting for them.

Kiseop was startled as he heard someone walking toward him. Turning around, he realized that was who he was waiting for. But he was with someone else. And that person was no one else but Kevin, his angst. He looked at them with confused eyes.

“How do you know each other?” Kiseop pretended.

“What’s wrong with you two?” he asked.

Kevin didn’t dare to look into his eyes and a little surprise that Jaeseop and Kiseop knew each other but decided to keep it to himself. But Jaeseop was different. He let go of Kevin and threw him to Kiseop.

“Kiseop, this is your chance. Don’t pretend that you don’t know anything. I can’t stand this anymore. I know I can have some effects on Kevin. You are always watching me and Kevin. I did that only with the hope to make you feel better, which seems having contrary results. But believe me that you are the only one that can make him talk again. You are his problem, not me.” Jaeseop said unstoppably.

He then turned to Kevin. “And you too. You are his problem. You make him depressed these days. That’s pissing me off. So go. Give him some chances. That also means giving you some chances. You can’t live like this forever. I’m sure about that.” He finished panting for speaking too quickly.

After that, he left Kiseop and Kevin dumbfounded and went away. On the way out, he mumbled. “You two are both my problems…” he sighed then slammed the door.

Kevin was about to walk away but was held back by Kiseop’s warm hand.

“Kevin… Please stay with me for a while…” Kiseop said softly.

Kevin took a deep breath. Jaeseop was right. He couldn’t live this way anymore. He couldn’t keep calm in front of Jaeseop and Kiseop’s existence any longer. Being with them, he just wanted to burst out all his emotions and thoughts.

Kiseop forced Kevin to face him. Kevin’s eyes awkwardly met Kiseop’s. He didn’t know if it was for his habit or he still hadn’t found what he needed from Kiseop. But he still gave Kiseop a cold look.

Kiseop held Kevin’s shoulders looking deep into Kevin’s eyes. Kiseop was really speechless for those eyes. He really didn’t know what to say in this situation. He hadn’t prepared anything yet. He had been wanting to tell Kevin how much he missed him, how much he wanted to meet him again, how much he got hurt when seeing Kevin like that… He wanted to say so many things. But in front of Kevin, he was numb and breathless. How could he take Kevin back with his condition right now?

Kiseop found himself so weak and useless. He hated himself so much for that. He wasn’t brave enough to look at Kevin anymore. As a result, he took his eyes off of Kevin. But suddenly he dropped his head on Kevin’s shoulder.

Wet. Something was wet. Something was soaking Kevin’s shirt. Kiseop’s tears were escaping from his eyes. Kevin felt his whole body heated up. Blood was rushing in his vein. He was so confused. Was Kiseop crying now? Why did he do so? Kevin hadn’t seen any boy crying in front of him. He didn’t know anything. He didn’t know how to react now. He tended to push Kiseop away but was stopped.   

“Don’t do anything now. Just let me say.” Kiseop said between sobs. His body began to tremble from emotions and crying.

“Kevin… I don’t know why you become so cold now. But no matter what the reasons are, just please talk again… Please smile again… Please be yourself again… I don’t need you to talk to me, smile to me or be anything to me. I can watch that from afar. As long as you live again, it’s enough for me. Seeing you like that, I can’t help but feel like you aren’t really living. What life is it if you are always staying silent, always acting nonchalantly, always showing no emotions... I don’t understand that life. Although I have only met you twice, I know you weren’t living like this. You have promised me that you would be a strong boy. I don’t know what hurt you this much. I am wondering if it was me making you like that. If so, please forgive me. No… you don’t need to forgive me. I don’t think I deserve that since I haven’t done anything to you. Please stay stronger. I don’t care that you need or not but I, from now on, will always stand behind you to support you. You don’t need to remember that or care about my existence. Just live well…”

Kiseop spoke out everything that popped into his mind, which made his words seem so messy and discontinuous. His sobs were lower now. He didn’t know why he cried. He hadn’t cried since his father’s death. Anyway tears helped him relieved a lot this time.

“Sorry Kevin… sorry for bothering you all these times… sorry for crying like this… sorry for telling not to cry while I can’t do that myself… sorry for everything… Goodbye, Kevin…”

Kiseop let go of Kevin’s shoulders not daring look at Kevin. He had let out his emotions. He was scared of Kevin’s reaction. Keeping his head down, he turned his heels to walk away. This time, the one that was stopped was Kiseop. Kevin held his hand tight forcing him to turn back. Already surprised by Kevin’s act, Kiseop turned around getting more shocked by what he saw.

From the corner of Kevin’s eye, something shining was escaping. It slowly rolled down his hollow cheek. His eyes were gradually dewed with tears. Holding his breath, Kevin clenched his fist tight. He must be forcing himself to do something. His appearance now gave the other a feeling of not only determination but also misery.

 “Kiseop…” Kevin let out a desperate word. It had been years since he wanted to speak out this word to the person who owned that name.

A/N: Finally!!!!!!! Kiseop has let out all his emotions and Kevin has spoken to Kiseop!!!!!!!!!!

Should we celebrate??????? =))))))))))))))

Tell me what you think, ok??????? Do you feel the love of Kiseop??? I really want to hear your honest words. ^_^

It took me a lot of time to write this and next chap ;((((((

Yeah!!! I have finished next chap too :))))

I'll update it soon ^_^

HOPE YOU ENJOY READING AND PLZ COMMENT!!!!!!!!

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