Hello. I think this is the first time I talk to you guys in this fic. Before you guys start reading this chapter I have to warn you that this chapter might be hard for those who still trying to cope with the tragedy. I actually wrote this chapter the day before the tragedy and was planning to post it on that day. but when the news broke I know that it is not the right time to post it. I was debating whether to just discontinued or not for all my fic as Jonghyun's character hold important role in all of them. After thinking about it, I decide just to continue them as it is my way in coping with our lose. I want to keep every memory of him even it is just thru my fanfic because to me SHINee is 5 and will always be five. Even though it might be hard to read this chapter, I sincerely hope you able to enjoy even just a little bit. Till next time. Take care

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Being able to go home after a day of full schedule always able to put a smile on his face. He finally able to unwind everything after a tiring day. He free to be himself without worrying anyone judging him. Sure there are occasional visit from his family and friends but most of the time it is just him and his dog which provide him the privacy that he was craving for. As usual at 2:30 am, he finally able to step in territory after the end of his radio program. He expected to have a dark house welcoming him however, he was surprise to see that his one of his light was on. More specifically the light at his home bar with a very familiar back facing him. Looking at the other state, he know that the other person has been in his house for a while to be that drunk. Taking a steady steps he walks towards the other male and immediately took a seat on the only other stool bar in his house.

“I did not give you the password to my house to find you drinking your life away every other night at my home bar. What happened, hyung?”

“I don’t have anywhere to go besides here. I can’t go back to the dorm at this state. Minho will be worried and start asking bunch of questions. I can’t go back to my house. Everything remind me of her. I can’t go to Kibum’s. He is mad at me. Taemin’s is not even an option. He is staying with his family. You are the only one option I have.”

“Hyung you have to stop doing this. This will destroyed you. We all know that alcohol is not the answer. Never the answer.”

“I know that but Jjong I just want to stop feeling hurt. This here help me to feel numb even if it is for a while. I want to forget even if it for a moment. And this right here just the thing that able to give me just that.”

“Jinki please just stop. If you want to stop hurting. Talk to us. All of us can see that you are hurting but we can’t do anything since you refuse to tell us anything. You have been keeping all us in the dark. We found out about your divorce through the news after everything has been finalise.” said Jonghyun to a very drunk Jinki. He knows that it is pointless but a man just has to try right.

Maybe because of the drunkenness Jinki finally open up to people on what is bothering him.

“When I was little my parents always said that I should be careful in what I wish for or else I migh