I thought I was finially getting happy. No more struggling with weight no more bullies no more pain with Sana there. But it all quckily changed.... How am I supposed to be happy when everytime I wake up i'm the first person to judge myself. HUH!! Life's supposed to bring u down but you were made to fight aginist it. I've been told that my whole in life! It's useless if u can't find your self!! It's useless. I thought... I thought I would never cut again. Not until I saw Sana flirt with someone else. Was I not good enough!!! Was I just a game!!!!!! Tell me!!! I thought as I put the razor to my hand. I swiftly moved it. I didn't feel pain... I'm numb. I kept cutting. I kept feeling nothing for the first time since I started this I wasn't ashamed. I couldn't deal with it. The pain I felt growing bigger and bigger in my chest. I just couldn't. The images flashed through my mind. The thoughts in my head like wild beasts that need to be tamed. For one... for once I wanted love. For once I felt love for someone other then family. For once I thought I was loved back. For in ONCE!!! Could it have in last!! Damn it life!!! it all!!! Was I not enough!! Was I just a toy.. for s sake Sana... why do u make me feel like this. Like I'm nothing in the eyes of u. I didn't feel all the blood comin out. The thumps on the door. I didn't hear the yelling. I didn't hear anything felt anything. I was in the moment. The moment if we're i doubt everything. All I want is love. But soon the comfort of that blackness I know to well came. I was surrended with darkness. Everything faded. I felt like I was floating in space. But peace comes with a price and that price is.... unconsciousness.......