Leeteuk was the first person to see Kyuhyun again.

It had been nearly three months since he disappeared. Or better put, went on a vacation. Although there was no evidence, Leeteuk would bet that the sudden trip had been triggered by something related to Ryeowook. It wasn’t possible that his workaholic little brother merely decided to take all of his vacation days from the past several years and blow them on a single, extended outing.

And so, as May came to an end, Kyuhyun’s phonelines suddenly came back on. Leeteuk was more than shocked when he received a text message inviting him to lunch, and promptly replied with a yes.

The café was small and nondescript with a simple interior. It wasn’t Kyuhyun’s style to be extravagant, but even this seemed a bit boring. As he entered, Leeteuk spotted his younger brother sitting in the back corner, a paper menu in one hand. He released a sigh of relief at the sight. Kyuhyun was healthy and alive. His skin was still surprisingly pale, and Leeteuk had to wonder where in the world he had gone off to.

Crossing the room swiftly, he swept Kyuhyun into a hug, ignoring the man’s grunts of complaint. “It’s been so long,” Leeteuk cried, squeezing him.

“Let go,” Kyuhyun yelped, patting his older brother’s back. “It’s only been a few months.”

“Well, when your family runs off without a word or message, how else am I supposed to react when they finally return?” Leeteuk frowned, pulling back and examining the other’s face. There was nothing amiss. His eyes were focused and bright, probably healthier than the last time he had seen him. “I’m guessing you were living in luxury?” he grinned.

Kyuhyun scoffed. “I’m not a poor student. I have the means to travel abroad without taking shelter in third rate hostels.” Taking a seat once more, he passed Leeteuk the menu and took up a glass of water. “I needed to reassess what I’ve been doing,” Kyuhyun admitted, grudgingly.

“Generally, or when it comes to Ryeowook?”

He stiffened at the name.

Of course. Leeteuk sighed, setting the menu down and calling the waiter over. They could have this discussion after their food was on the way. As the waiter walked off with their orders, Leeteuk turned back to his fidgeting sibling. “So? What did you conclude?”

“I’m in love with him.” Kyuhyun admitted simply. Factually. “But I know I’ve hurt him. I’ve made him do and say things that he never meant.” He shrugged, eyes sober. “I’ve thought a lot about it and I don’t want to cause him anymore pain. If being with me would do that, we’re better off apart.”

Dumbstruck, Leeteuk tried to wrap his head around the words. Was this really his little brother? It was hard to believe that he had matured to such an extent. Just what was he doing these past months? Had he really been reflecting properly? The sheer idea of it was unbelievable. In all the years he had known Kyuhyun, this was one situation he never expected to encounter with him.

“Are you…sure?” Leeteuk finally asked.

Kyuhyun smiled a bit, but it didn’t touch his eyes. “It’s already been too long. I think it would only be burdensome to keep trying to force myself into his life.”

“Well, that’s very mature of you,” he brother remarked absently, mulling over something. Leeteuk now knew that Kyuhyun hadn’t been keeping up with Ryeowook at all. If he was this resigned, then there was no way he had heard the news. “Are you going to meet him anymore?”

He exhaled heavily. “Unless my job requires it, I…won’t be doing so. Since we’re in the same industry, it’s inevitable that we’ll run across one another. His new husband is also releasing an album through my company this year, so we may exchange greetings at some gatherings.” Kyuhyun’s posture tensed, despite the impassive expression he wore.

“Oh? I’m surprised you’re willing to meet Jongwoon,” Leeteuk commented, biting back his thoughts.

Kyuhyun grimaced. “I’m not willing. I just decided to be better this time,” he answered. “I owe Ryeowook a lot. If this man makes him happy, then I’ll…,” he trailed off, unable to finish the thought. Shaking his head, he revised and spoke again, “He deserves happiness, even if it’s not with me.”

“It’s like talking to a whole new person,” his brother grinned, which only earned him a glare. “I’m just teasing, Kyu. I’m so proud of you. Whatever happened on this trip must’ve been really good for you. I haven’t seen you this put together in a long time.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, looking down, “I was tired of running in circles without a clue what to do. I don’t know if this current solution is gonna be any better, but I’ve got to try something.”

Leeteuk almost caved then, but quickly clamped down on the urge. It wasn’t his place to involve himself any further than this. Whatever happened from here out would have to be handled by the two of them. Besides, he had finally gotten what he wanted. Kyuhyun was growing up and leaving Ryeowook alone. And Ryeowook…was doing something. Not good or bad. It was hard to classify. Leeteuk also wasn’t sure what was going through his mind—after all, they hadn’t been meeting much these days. In fact, it felt like almost a role reversal.

Ryeowook was frequently cancelling their plans because he had taken on another project at work. Or, on days he was off, Leeteuk would stop by to visit him and find him huddled away in his apartment’s music studio. Sometimes Ryeowook would be singing, other times composing a piece, and other times, just scribbling lyrics.

“So, are you returning to work immediately?” Leeteuk prompted.

“I’m considering it,” Kyuhyun responded, “I have two days left in my scheduled vacation. I’m thinking of going to the ocean for a day and night.”

“Isn’t it still too cold to swim?”

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “Not to swim. The waves are just relaxing, and the towns on the ocean front are usually very peaceful.”

“Are you still soul searching?” Leeteuk cocked a brow.

“Well, I have decades to make up for. There’s an endless number of things I still haven’t worked through.”

Leeteuk smiled into his cup of water. Yeah...it’ll be okay. They can solve this problem on their own now.

***

“Are you sure about this? It’s not too late to change your mind.”

Ryeowook set the last box down in the brightly lit living room. The balcony doors were open, allowing late spring winds into the stuffy apartment. Newly purchased furniture had already been moved in and placed accordingly, the plastic wrap still carefully bundling each item. There were only the necessities. A couch. A coffee table. An armchair. In the adjoining dining room, Ryeowook had insisted upon a modest set up, claiming that he was tired of the grandiose displays. Similarly, his kitchen was outfitted with only the bare essentials—just the odds and ends important for cooking his favorite dishes. However, he had splurged on a higher end rice cooker. While living with Kyuhyun, he had grown accustomed to the features of the nicer brand and reluctantly admitted that he couldn’t go back.

“I’m sure. You’ve already been much nicer about this than I deserve,” Ryeowook smiled, looking to where Jongwoon leaned against the entry hall wall. The older man was watching him with a mixture of worry and reluctance. Ryeowook dusted off his hands, peering around the cozy apartment. “I think this is good for me. And you, too.”

Jongwoon didn’t answer immediately. He pressed his lips together gently, before saying, “If you weren’t ready to be married again, we could wait. This,” he waved his hand, “isn’t necessary. Living together isn’t a problem, is it?”

“But, I think we should both seriously take some time to think on our own,” Ryeowook responded. “There are a lot of things I’m still trying to understand about myself…and my relationship with Kyuhyun.” Or lack thereof… He swallowed hard, eyes cast down. “I shouldn’t have turned to you immediately and taken advantage of your kindness. I mean, even now I’m doing that.” He laughed humorlessly. “It’s not fair to you.”

“Ryeowook.”

His head jerked up reflexively at the sound of his name.

Jongwoon was gazing at him, expression painfully thoughtful. Ryeowook flushed, unsure where to look. The other man stepped forward though, closing a hand around one of the younger one’s shoulders. “If I felt like you weren’t taking me seriously, I wouldn’t have proposed. Even now, I think we’re very suitable for one another, but I understand if you want to reevaluate. You and Cho Kyuhyun have been together for nearly a decade, so I’m not blind to the lingering feelings.” He smiled helplessly. “But you and I also have a long history. Even if we’re not engaged anymore, that doesn’t change my feelings or our potential to be together.”

“This is what I mean,” Ryeowook frowned, heart squeezing tightly, “you’re always being too considerate of me. I’m not—”

“—let’s not get into this again,” Jongwoon interrupted, tapping Ryeowook’s chin lightly, almost playfully.

Blushing, the shorter man pulled back, busying himself with unpacking one of the many boxes. “I still stand by my reasons,” Ryeowok grumbled, too embarrassed to face his now ex-fiancé. The tabloids must have been having a field day with his life. Who knew a little composer like him would have so many scandals? One year ago, he was filing a divorce. A year later he was getting engaged. A few months after that, he was cancelling the engagement.

When did he become such a source of drama?

Ryeowook tiredly slumped over, rummaging absently through the box of knick-knacks. Behind him, the sound of Jongwoon gathering his things filled the silence. Peeking over his shoulder, Ryeowook watched the older man shrug on a light sweater and check his pockets for keys. The quiet jangling urged Ryeowook up and toward the door to show his guest out.

“Thanks again,” he murmured, reaching for the handle as Jongwoon slipped on his shoes.

A hand closed around his own, making Ryeowook catch his breath. Lips brushed against the shell of his ear. “Anytime. Just…make up your mind soon, okay?” Jongwoon lingered for a moment before pressing the lightest kiss against his shoulder. He pulled away and tugged the door open.

Ryeowook stumbled out of the way, dazed and speechless. It took much longer than was polite for him to gain his bearings, shut the door, and return to unpacking. All the while though, his skin tingled from the touch while his heart warred endlessly over a different man.

Author's Note

Hello! I just wanted to say thanks for the immense interest from readers! I've really enjoyed reading your comments and it's actually helped me get that outsider perspective I need to keep writing this story. I just want to say that I sympathize with a lot of your complaints and brutal apathy for Kyuhyun. Please stay tuned as the story progresses ^^. 

Sincerely,

Pandorasv13