[A/N]: I just wanted to let you know that I didn't have time to check that chapter fully because don't even know what am I doing anymore so I don't know if everything makes sense. I'm too impatient so I'll just post it now and I'm going to correct that later. And also this chapter is

The next Monday Kihyun was waiting outside a classroom with his friends and Gunhee. The short brunette felt a bit weird to spend time with the 2/3 of the award winners when he himself got such a low position in the competition. The boys, however, were very nice and didn't make fun of him, unlike some other classmates. But Kihyun knew that he deserved that. Previously, he was the one who looked down on people who had poor results, so now they believed that he was a hypocrite. At that particular moment, they were waiting for their first class that day to start. Kihyun tried not to think about the concert but it wasn't easy when people were passing by them all the time and congratulating the 4 boys.

"How did you do that?" - he asked Hyungwon out of the blue.

The taller brunette frowned.

"Do what?" - he asked looking totally confused - "What are you talking about?"

"How did you manage to take the first place when you started practising so late?" - it was really bothering him.

He still remembered that October day when they were sitting in the cafeteria with Yoosu and he asked Hyungwon and Minhuk about their concert practice and the two of them replied that they didn't even start. Kihyun couldn't help to feel envy. At that time he and Changkyun had already everything planned.

Hyungwon just stared, so Minhyuk cut in.

"I don't know... I think that we were just lucky. We knew that we couldn't prepare perfectly because we started late so we just took it easy." - said the blonde glancing at Kihyun seemingly concerned - "Don't worry, I still think you did well."

"Yeah, the piece you chose was awesome! I never heard something like that" - exclaimed Jooheon joining the conversation.

Gunhee rolled his eyes.

"Oh my God, stop buttering him up. Can't you see that he just wants to start an argument?" - he asked raising his eyebrow.

Kihyun glared at him.

"Shut up." - he ground out - "I don't get why you're always suspecting me of plotting something evil. I really just wanted to know."

"Gunhee, stop it, I think he's telling the truth." - said the blonde percussionist nudging his friend's side - "Just let him live."

"By the way, I think that you didn't do well only because you were too nervous. You tried too hard." - Hyungwon turned his head to talk to Kihyun.

The short brunette lowered his eyes but he nodded. He knew well that it was the reason and he didn't need anyone to remind him about that.

"Yeah, poor Changkyun looked so terribly stressed out." - said Jooheon dully.

Kihyun pouted.

"You probably hate him even more now, am I right?!" - exclaimed Gunhee in an accusatory tone.

He wanted to ignore him, but at the same time, he knew that if he will do so Gunhee will think that he was an for the rest of his life.

"No." - he said sternly - "I know that he tried hard. He wanted to win as much as I did but he just couldn't control his emotions."

His friends stared at him in shock. They probably really thought that he still hated that ginger kid. Kihyun had enough of the conversation. He didn't want to listen to false accusations so he just wanted to leave but he knew that he couldn't so he sighed with relief when the teacher came.

~*~

The weeks were passing and before they even had a chance to think about it, it was already February. After they were finished with the rehearsals for the concert Changkyun suddenly started to have more free time. Previously, they had been so busy with practising that he even forgot how it was. He was spending the majority of his free time with Yoonho and Seokwon and at that time he could finally call them his friends. He also started to think again about his dream career as a rapper. When he wasn't busy with school, he was writing his own lyrics and composing beats which then he posted on YouTube for people to use. He sometimes showed his works to his two classmates but Yoonho and Seokwon showed little interest in that. They praised him, of course, but at the same time, he could feel that they were looking down on this kind of music. However, even though he tried to be busy with something the whole time, he still felt some sort of emptiness. Sometimes he passed by Jooheon or Gunhee on a corridor but every time he tried to speak with them they were rushing somewhere. As Jooheon had told him they supposedly were busy with writing their bachelor theses and when he asked them about Kihyun they always told him that he was either studying or practising. He understood that perfectly since it was their last year and they had a lot of work. Nevertheless, he still wondered what Kihyun was doing. The only time when he could see him was their orchestra rehearsals but they usually only greeted each other and didn't even have time to have a brief word. At that point, he started regretting that he had told Miss Yoon that he didn't want the older boy to tutor him anymore the day after they argued because of the kiss. Changkyun couldn't shake the feeling that something was lacking. And he was surprised that he didn't need to think much to realise what it was. He missed Kihyun. Yes, he could admit that. Since that Winter Concert, he just couldn't get him out of his head. Changkyun thought that after the brunette had told him that he didn't hate him anymore they would get closer. That maybe they will even become friends. He truly believed that especially after Kihyun wasn't angry at him after he ruined the concert. But that never happened. They just grew apart. Sometimes he even thought that Kihyun probably just didn't care about him at all so he just carried on with his life after they had finished everything that they had to do together. He couldn't help his worries and they were overwhelming him. Actually, he knew that he didn't want to be just friends with Kihyun. He knew that feeling. He used to have crushes and he also had a boyfriend before. And more than likely Kihyun just didn't like him back. The older boy had told him that he was straight and it couldn't be more clear. He just had false hope but it was also partially Kihyun's fault. Who told him to caress Changkyun's hair? After the older boy did that the younger male knew that it was too late already. He couldn't stop liking him. Suddenly he was brought back to reality when someone sat at his table in the cafeteria. It was Yoonho and Seokwon. They greeted him and started eating the food they had brought with themselves. It was their lunch break. After a few minutes, Yoonho offered him one of his cookies but he shook his head. He had left his lunch in the middle of eating because he didn't feel like eating anymore. And he definitely didn't feel like eating sweets at that moment. When he refused Yoonho stared at him narrowly.

"Are you ok?" - he asked in surprised tone - "Why did you stop eating?" - he continued pointing to Changkyun's plate.

"Yeah, you look as if something is bothering you." - Seokwon joined the conversation - "And don't tell me that you're fine because you definitely don't seem so." - he added when Changkyun opened his mouth to say exactly that.

The ginger boy sighed.

"I'm not hungry anymore." - he whined but the two other boys threw him a dubious look - "You'll laugh at me if I told you the truth" - he protested but his classmates already pricked up their ears.

"Tell us." - said Seokwon daringly and wiggled his eyebrow.

"Promise you will not laugh." - he demanded, glaring at them.

He wasn't sure if they had been friends long enough to trust them. The two boys eagerly nodded their heads.

"Ok." - he said flatly but he felt that his hands started to tremble slightly so he hid them under the table - "So... I have a crush on someone I shouldn't and I don't know what to do." - he confessed feeling totally stupid after he had put that into words.

He probably sounded like some emo teenager. Yoonho and Seokwon stared at him blankly.

"Oh, I thought that it was something like that after I saw your expression. Sorry, but you couldn't be more obvious." - spoke Seokwon after a long moment of silence.

Yoonho, however, squirmed on his spot.

"OMG who is that?" - he squealed loudly - "Is it Mrs MacDougall?"

Changkyun facepalmed himself. Yoonho always acted like a kid.

"No." - he said sternly - "You're so dumb. Do you still think that she really gave me a love letter?"

When his classmate nodded he sighed loudly.

"Oh, speaking of love letters..." - started Seokwon, suddenly brought back to reality by Changkyun's words - "It's Valentine's Day next week so why won't you send a card to her?" - he suggested.

The ginger frowned.

"Why would I send a Valentine Day's card to Mrs MacDougall?" - he asked in an unbelieving tone.

Seokwon laughed so loudly that it caused some people who sat at the table next to them turn around.

"I'm not speaking about Mrs MacDougall. I'm talking about your crush." - he said after he managed to calm down - "Assuming that we believe that she isn't your crush." - he added rising his eyebrow - "She has a husband though so I wouldn't recommend that."

Changkyun groaned. Who did he have to deal with?

"Hmm, it sounds quite tempting, but don't you think that we're too old for that already? We're at university, not in primary school!" - he exclaimed.

He really thought that it was a bit embarrassing.

"If they thought that we were too old for Valentine Day's cards then they wouldn't create Valentine's Day mail, here at the university." - said Seokwon, and Changkyun was surprised because he had never heard about it.

He stared at the table contemplating the suggestion.

"Ok..." - he said slowly - "Maybe I'll do that because I have no better idea."

"Wait!" - Yoonho suddenly jumped on his spot - "You said that you have a crush on someone you shouldn't and if Mrs MacDougall has a husband then it has to be her!" - he exclaimed looking like a madman.

Changkyun and Seokwon exchanged looks.

"Yoonho!" - they yelled at the same time.

"Changkyun is right. You're seriously dumb." - added the latter.

After that, there was a long pause so they just decided to continue with the lunch and the ginger was glad that his friends didn't come back to that topic again.

~*~

It was the Friday before the Valentine's Day, which was on Sunday, and Changkyun actually did as his classmates suggested. He had written the letter and sent it through the special university mail, however, he felt embarrassed because of that. He still thought that it was something that a primary school student would do but he just had to do something and had no better ideas. He hoped that he wouldn't make a fool of himself when the older boy will read it. It was so corny. He tried to convince himself that he didn't care since there was little chance for it to work but he still felt impatient waiting for some sort of reaction, even if it would be negative. But still, he couldn't keep his emotions forever, because otherwise, he would go crazy. He was on pins and needles for the whole day and he couldn't focus on his classes. However, nothing happened, and as usual, he didn't even see Kihyun at the campus. It seemed as if last month the older boy had disappeared off the face of the earth. He felt disappointed but at the same, time he knew that he shouldn't expect anything. He didn't even know how the mail actually worked. He had no idea when the card was supposed to be delivered but logically it should be on the Valentine's Day. At 5 pm, in this absent-minded state, he started to walk out of the university's building when suddenly someone appeared out of nowhere before him. He almost had a heart attack when he recognised Kihyun.

"H-hi." - he stuttered.

It was weird to speak with him for the first time after such a long time. It was also the first time they met after Changkyun realised that he felt something for him.

"Hi." - replied the short brunette smiling wryly.

After they greeted each other they had a short and awkward small talk. It seemed that after they were finished with those rehearsals everything came back to as it was before, and there was only one difference. Now they didn't hate each other. The brunette looked a bit uncomfortable and he was kicking his heels nervously.

"I wonder if you maybe wanted to meet this weekend?" - blurted out Kihyun out of the blue.

Changkyun stared at him blankly. He wanted to scream. Did he just mishear? Was it a dream? He must have had a very weird expression because Kihyun suddenly looked very confused.

"What? Did I say something wrong?" - he asked in a surprised tone - "I-I just thought that you maybe wanted to meet. Jooheon had told me that you were asking for me all the time recently." - he stuttered and gulped - "Oh my God, I totally forgot that it's Valentine's Day this week." - he suddenly added and it really seemed that he really realised it just then - "I'm so sorry. That was embarrassing." - he quickly looked away and blushed what made Changkyun's heart race - "You probably want to meet with your date or something."

Changkyun frowned. Did he really forget that it was Valentine's Day or was he playing dumb?

"I-I'm s-single though." - he stammered out.

Kihyun stared at him and it was obvious that he didn't know how to respond to that.

"Er... That's probably a wild idea but do you maybe still want to meet this weekend then?" - he asked and Changkyun suddenly felt dizzy.

Was it for real?

"I totally hate that holiday. I'm sick of all the couples. You just can't run away from them. And it just so happens that you're single and I'm single so maybe it would be a good idea." - explained the brunette - "And don't think that it's a date. It's not a date." - he added quickly shaking his head - "Oh God, I completely forgot that he's gay." - he whispered to himself - "You don't have to agree to that if you don't want to." - he added.

He suddenly looked as if he had a mental b