Suddenly Kihyun opened his eyes. The curtains were opened and the sunlight was so bright that it hurt his eyes. He sat up and rubbed his face. The boy looked around and realised that he had been sleeping on the couch of his living room the whole night. He tried to focus and recall how he got there the night before but he didn't remember anything. Kihyun hoped that he didn't drive home himself in that state but he believed that his friends were responsible enough to say no to him so he assumed that it was them who took him home. He took his phone to check what time it was. He had completely lost the sense of time. He had no idea how he got home and how long he slept. It was 12 pm already. Kihyun groaned. His head was pounding. He felt as if he had a migraine but he wasn't sure because he never had one. Why did he drink so much last night? It was definitely a huge mistake. He looked at the screen for a second time and he suddenly noticed that he had more than 20 unread messages. His heart rate started to accelerate. Last time something like that happened was 4 years ago when he went to one of his older friends birthday party and he got so drunk that he didn't come back home that night. After that, he had exactly 126 messages from his parents. He will never forget that number. But this time the messages couldn't be from his mum and dad. He gulped nervously and as he wanted to read one of them he got startled by the jingle of an upcoming new one. He got so scared that he almost fell off the couch. It was a message from Hyungwon and he opened it immediately after he calmed down a bit. It said, "Take your car from the parking lot before they will give you a heavy fine." Kihyun started to sweat. On the one hand, he felt relieved that he didn't drive home but on the other, he felt dread because the car was still in the hotel's parking lot. And he still couldn't pick it from there because he didn't feel sober enough yet. He sighed heavily and decided to read the rest of the messages. All of them were from his 3 friends: Minhyuk, Jooheon and Hyungwon and 90% of them was something like "Where did you go during the party? We couldn't find you, we were worried and when we did find you, you were canned wtf explain." Kihyun wanted to scream. What had he done? Why did he do that? He wanted an explanation as well. Oh, no, how embarrassing! How could he do something like this on a party organised by his university? He wanted to bang his head on the wall. Suddenly a realisation came to him. He recalled that moment when he saw Dasom with Yoosu and how he was flooded with jealousy after that. Kihyun shook his head after the thought came to his mind. He couldn't understand his own reaction anymore. He knew that he shouldn't be jealous of her. They broke up months ago. She had the right to be happy with someone else. Alright, but it wasn't just some random guy he didn't know before. If it was he could let them be. But it was YOOSU. This er who laughed in his face when he tried to flirt with his ex-girlfriend right in front of him and he WILL NOT ALLOW THAT. Kihyun growled and rolled over on the couch. But logically thinking he had a right to be happy with someone else as well. He contemplated the thought for a while when suddenly something else came up to his mind. A touch of someone's trembling lips. At the memory, he felt overwhelmed by panic. That was exactly what he had thought that night. That he had the right to be with someone else and it seemed to be a brilliant idea to kiss the first person who he could find under the mistletoe. With his mind fogged with alcohol it really did seem to be a great idea. But now it filled him with dread. He didn't even know who it was. The last thing he remembered was bumping into Mr Son. OH, NO. His heart started to beat like crazy. What if Mr Son was standing under the mistletoe? He remembered that there were garlands with mistletoe interwoven in them on the walls. And he was sure of one thing. He didn't kiss a girl. He remembered broad shoulders and flat chest. It was NOT a girl. He hid his face in his hands. Why did his drunk think that it was ok to kiss anyone? Like literary anyone? it, it doesn't matter if it's a girl or a boy? Wtf, brain. He never ever fantasised about being something more than a friend with a guy. He didn't even have dreams like that. It didn't make sense what he had done. And if it really was Mr Son he was ed up. How will he be able to show up on the next orchestra rehearsal? How will he be able to look at him? How did Mr Son feel about that? Did he have a girlfriend? A wife? Was he gay? The person who he had kissed didn't slap him or anything and if someone did something like that to Kihyun out of the blue he would surely do that without thinking twice. But Mr Son was a teacher. He was the one in charge. He could do anything in response to what Kihyun did. If he didn't like what Kihyun had done, what was more than certain, Mr Son could throw him out of the orchestra, tell the headmaster about his immoral behaviour or even get a revenge on Kihyun by for example giving him an F for everything he would do during their classes. Oh, yes, he did up whatever will be the result. What he had done was extremely wrong. Kihyun curled up on the couch. He wanted to sink into the sofa and disappear. Never show up at the university anymore. The only thing that did uprise him was the fact that he had two weeks of winter holidays until the next orchestra rehearsal. Maybe Christmas and New Year's Eve will let him think about something else and maybe he'll find a solution.

~*~

It was two days before Christmas and Changkyun's family was in rush. Everyone wanted to finish the preparations as quickly as they could. They wanted to have at least a bit of rest before the Christmas day. Changkyun was sitting at the table trying to untangle the fairy lights. He and his cousins were supposed to decorate the tree and since he was the oldest he had to prepare everything before the kids could choose the decorations. It was a tedious job and Changkyun had a lot of time to think, unfortunately. He couldn't focus and his thoughts were revolving around the kiss all the time. He kept thinking about the incident the whole week. He was recalling the situation everytime he had even a bit of time to be alone with his thoughts. He didn't manage to catch Kihyun up that day and he still had no idea why the older boy did that. He slowly stopped feeling confused and his emotions started to morph into anger. He started to believe that this kiss was probably some kind of a prank or a bet. He regretted letting him do that because it has made him a mess. He should've pushed him. Suddenly he was brought to the reality by his aunt's voice. She was the wife of his mum's little brother who was the IT specialist. His aunt and uncle and their three children were spending the whole winter holidays at Changkyun's family house.

"Changkyun, are you alright?" - she asked calmly - "It seems that something is bothering you. You're spacing out a lot recently. Is it about your studies?"

"N-no." - he stuttered - "It's ok." - he assured her.

She nodded understandingly but she didn't seem convinced.

"I just wanted you to know that you can always talk to me if something is bothering you." - she said smiling slightly.

He just nodded in response. He always liked this aunt because she was very cheerful and she was only 15 years older than him. Just as he was about to crawl into his shell again he felt that someone was tugging on his shirt on the back. This someone had to be very short since Changkyun was sitting. He turned around and saw his three-year-old cousin. The little boy was staring at him with puppy eyes.

"Changkyunnie, ith the light leady?" - he asked shyly focusing his eyes on the chain of lights Chankyun had in his hands - "We want to decorate the tlee alleady." - he added with a pout.

The baby's lisp reminded him about Kihyun again but he tried to smile not to scare the child.

"Yes, almost. I just have to check if they work. Come with me." - he gestured for the boy to go and they plugged the fairy lights in the socket.

Changkyun sighed with relief because if the lights didn't shine he would have to check every single tiny lamp in the chain. The boy smiled gleefully and run somewhere. He stopped before his oldest brother and hugged him.

"Minjun, Changkyun fixed the lights!" - he squealed and the older brother his head.

"Great, good boy! I knew he can't refuse you." - replied the seven-year-old with a smug smile.

Changkyun rolled his eyes. He could guess that the oldest one was plotting something. He always tried to convince his siblings to do something for him. Suddenly he noticed something.

"Minjun, where is Minseo?" - he asked with panic in his voice.

The five-year-old wasn't in the living room with the rest of the family. What if she was doing something stupid like for example trying to pet the fish which were in a tank in the hallway? The boy looked at him with a bored expression.

"Oh, Minseo? She wanted to play with your sister's dolls but I doubt that she would let her." - replied Minjun raising his eyebrow.

Changkyun shook his head. He didn't know what was worse; if she tried to stick her hand into the fish tank or if she tried to enter his sister's room. Suddenly they all heard a loud scream from upstairs followed by a small child crying. After a few seconds, the little girl ran into the room with her face red and wet from tears.

"Mummy, Chaewon said she won't borrow me her dolls!" - she wailed.

Changkyun gritted his teeth. His sister was unbearable. She was a major pain in the . As she turned 15 she believed that she was practically an adult and started to rebel. She did what she wanted and his parents had a lot of trouble with her. She was one of the reasons why he was glad that he was now away from home. Apparently, his mum had heard that his little cousin was crying because she got out of the kitchen. She stopped directly at the bottom of the stairs.

"Chaewon, get down NOW!" - the woman yelled.

Changkyun heard a shuffle from upstairs and the girl showed up in the living room promptly. She stopped before her mother with a very disgusted face and with her arms folded.

"Chaewon, why won't you give your dolls to Minseo?" - she asked reproachfully and glared at her but the girl didn't even budge.

"Mum! She will destroy them! Have you seen what she did to her own dolls?!" - she looked highly offended.

"But Chaewon, aren't you too old for dolls? You don't even play with them anymore!" - their dad peeked into the room with a mop in his hand.

He was cleaning the rest of the house.

The girl laughed mockingly.

"Of course I don't! I want to sell them on eBay so they have to be in perfect condition." - she replied with a poker face.

Changkyun glanced at his mum. Her face was already flushed. He could sense that she may burst out any second.

"Oh, no, my dear. You won't do that. I can still decide what you will do with your things and I'm telling you that you won't sell them now." - she said quite calmly but her glare was terrifying.

"But mum!" - the girl moaned and stomped her feet.

"Honey," - his mum was now talking to her husband - "please bring the dolls and give them to our little Minseo."

The man nodded and walked out of the room and his mum came back to the kitchen. Suddenly, Chaewon started to walk in his direction.

"How is your new school, Changkyunnie?" - she asked in a mocking tone.

He could sense that she was up to something.

"Good." - he replied dryly.

"When will you find a girlfriend? I thought you would come with someone." - she said sneering.

Changkyun stared at her.

"I don't know..." - he replied slowly - "Maybe never? Why do you care?" - he threw her a cold glare hoping that she will leave him alone.

"Are you still a ?" - she whispered but it was loud enough to be heard by everyone.

Changkyun choked and started coughing.

"Chaewon, behave!" - their mum came back just in time to hear this one short sentence and as she said that she threw an apron at the girl - "You will help me with cooking and it's non-negotiable." - she said sternly.

Changkyun couldn't believe what he had just heard. What was wrong with that girl?! Why did she start talking about that so suddenly? Was she already not? He didn't even want to think about that. She was only 15! Two years ago she still played with dolls. He really hoped that she just wanted to humiliate him.

"Changkyunnie, what's a ?" - asked suddenly the youngest f his cousins.

He had already forgotten that the kids were right there by his side. He gulped. How was he supposed to explain something like that to a three-year-old?

"