You’re so pretty, but it’s tiring to always hear you complain that you’re not. You look at yourself in the mirror and you make a face, pinching your otherwise flat stomach and regret eating the bibimbap for lunch today. When you smile, it’s so bright, but when you’re sad, it’s like the whole world has gone down in the rain. It may not be written in the books, but if you were to ask me, I’d say that it should be engraved into the back of your hand.

You’re beautiful and I love you. You just don’t get it.

***

“What the – ?”

Se Hun is the first one to greet me when I enter the dorm, stumbling through the front door and almost falling down in the foyer.

“Hyung!” He hollers out to the others. My heart is still racing uncontrollably and my upper lip has begun to throb in pain. I feel something cold and wet trickle down my lips and soon, my tongue tastes something distinctly coppery. Blood.

By now, I’m kneeling on the floor, my hands supporting me from smashing my face onto the hardwood. It feels like my world is spinning, but I can hear footsteps racing down to the foyer from our living room.

“Jongin-ah!”

Lu Han is here in the dorm, apparently, because I hear him gasping and rushing towards me. I feel Se Hun trying to stand me up, as Lu Han goes to my other side and throws my arm around his shoulder as well. The two of them hoist me up and drag me to the couch. Se Hun, being bigger and taller than Lu Han, places me down on the couch. The two of them stare at me, their eyes roaming over my rather questionable state.

My shirt is dirtied, my hair is in disarray and I’m bleeding in the lips.

Lu Han is the first to ask the obvious. “What happened?”

You know what happened. You were there. You were the reason it happened.  But I don’t know if you know that yet. I don’t know if you are aware that after all this time, you’re the one I’ve always tried to look after. I don’t know if you can discern the reason why I’m like this: my heart is in pieces and my mind is caught in the eye of a storm.

“It’s nothing,” I mutter, trying to stand up. My efforts are proven futile as I feel a sharp pain protruding through my back. I remain lying down on the couch.

Se Hun looks down at my right fist as I drape my arm over the end of the couch miserably. Because I feel so exhausted and so weak, I unclasped my hand and out falls a silver ring. It’s such a measly piece of jewelry but the sound it makes as it hits the floor resonates loudly in my ears. Se Hun and Lu Han exchange looks and that’s when they get it. They understand what happened.