“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“No way!”

“Yes way.”

“Seriously?”

“Serious – ” I stop myself from continuing, realizing that Lu Han and I are beginning to sound like a bunch of gossipy teenagers. I bite into the apple he brought for me from his dorm.

“Dude, who would’ve thought?” He muses, rubbing the end of his jaw. “I really thought she was nice and all.”

This apple he brought is really good, actually.

“I wonder if Taemin is aware of all this.” Lu Han looks over my shoulder where our dorm’s flat screen TV was playing the SHINee World Concert DVD. Management wanted all of us from EXO to be familiar with “impressionable stage presence”, as denoted by the SHINee World Concert DVD, Super Junior Super Show 3 DVD, SNSD Into the New World Concert DVD, and even a staff-made DBSK Live in the Tokyo Dome DVD (pre-JYJ drama, of course). “If this was all an act this entire time, then she really should consider that as her future job. I’d watch her dramas every day.”

 I really like this apple that I’m eating. I might as well ask Lu Han where he bought it.

“Jongin.” I swivel around on the chair I’m sitting on to see Chanyeol coming towards me with my cellphone in his hand. “Your phone is ringing.”

I take my phone from him, my Wondergirls’ Be My Baby ringtone blaring from the miniscule speakers. I took a quick peek at the caller ID, my heartbeat suddenly going off erratically at the caller. It was you.

“Yeobosaeyo?”

“Jongin…” You sound so distant and slightly guarded. It’s actually the first time we’ve spoken in a long while and I’m beginning to feel the bitter sting of the distance between us. In reality, our friendship is slowly dilapidating.

“Hye Rin, what’s up?”

“I. Well. I was hoping to see you today.”

“Oh,” I looked down, trying to decipher that. “Why?”

“Um. I just wanted to see you. If you’re busy, then it’s alright. I guess.” Your words are coming out all choppy and I can tell that you’re having a difficult time trying to talk to me. I know that something is bothering you.

I looked up at Lu Han, as if he knew what I should say. He just stared back at me wide-eyed, wondering what you called for and what you were asking. I honestly didn’t know what to say or do.

A part of me wanted to see you and talk to you again. But a part of me had already built up this metaphorical brick wall that separated you from me. And right now, I don’t know if I want to break down that wall. At least, not now.

“I don’t know,” I tell you after a long pause. “Hye Rin, I think it’s best that maybe we stop talking to each other for now.”

A small surprised sound squeaks out of your mouth. This time, it’s you that stays silent for a moment.

“Why?” You finally ask.

“I just. I don’t think it’s okay for me to see you anymore.”

I’m talking as if I was dating you, as if I’m breaking up with you right now. I’m sure you’re confused as hell right now, not knowing anything. I don’t blame you though. You’re completely oblivious to the way I truly feel about you. But you just don’t get it.

“But.” You stop, swallowing your words. “What are you trying to say? Jongin, what’s wrong?”

Still with his wide-eyed perplexity, Lu Han is staring at me hoping to know the contents of our conversation. Maybe the pained expression on my face is giving a little bit of it away; a subtle preview to the drama that is unfolding on the phone.

“Just don’t call anymore,” I say. “I’m tired.”

I don’t give you any time to respond because I quickly press the End button on my phone and look up at Lu Han.

“Dude, what the – ”

“I think I should get closer to So Kyo now,” I tell him, continuing to eat the apple he brought me. As if I just didn’t do the most difficult thing that I would have ever imagined to do to you. As if my heart is not hurting in the inside worse than ever. As if I didn’t just harshly and brashly say goodbye to you. I continue on with life, as if what I just did wasn’t all that significant.

Lu Han makes a face. “What? Why?”

“I think – maybe in three or four weeks from now or even shorter than that – she’ll be my new girlfriend.”

“Dude.” Lu Han’s jaw slightly drops and his words are coming out all chopped up. He’s surprised. “That’s really. Wow.”

“Lu Han?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t say ‘dude’ anymore, please.”

“…”

“Thank you.” I smile at him, taking another large bite from my apple.

“Dude.”

***

So Kyo and I decide to hang out one more time. I don’t understand why I said yes so quickly, but I felt that maybe this was necessary. Maybe I needed someone out there to help me get over you, and So Kyo – despite the fact that her honeyed words are actually more vile towards you – can be able to do that.

I wait at a table in a café near your school, my eyes fluttering outside the glass windows every now and then. To be honest, part of the reason why I’m looking up is not only because I want to see So Kyo. I know you walk by this café every day after school. It’s a cheap, shallow move for me to meet your schoolmate in the one café that we always meet at.

“Hello, handsome.”

My attention diverts almost immediately to So Kyo, who stands in front of me with a large grin. She’s dressed in her dainty uniform, and I can’t help but think about you in your uniform.

“So Kyo,” I get up and reach over to receive a hug from her. “You look good.”

She lets go of our hug and takes a seat across me, her face flushed. She’s pretty, of course, but I still hate myself. I’m trying so goddamn hard to be interested in her, and yet I still can’t stop thinking about you.

“I always pass by this café on my way to school, but never have I stepped inside,” So Kyo mentions, her eyes roaming the calm ambience around us. “It’s cute.”

I take a sip from my cup of jasmine green tea as a waitress comes by with two menus. “Ready?” she asks, handing us the menus. So Kyo takes one and begins to pour over the contents. Her haste in ordering amusingly reminds me a lot of Krystal.

I smile, taking the menu.

“The arrabiatta is really good here,” I comment, looking over at So Kyo.

“Really?”

I nod. “Definitely. Whenever we go here, Hye – ” And that’s when I stop myself, realizing that maybe mentioning Hye Rin’s name is not so much of a pleasant idea. “I mean, I order it all the time.”

“Okay,” So Kyo shrugs, handing the menu back to the waitress. “We’ll get that. And an iced tea for me.”

When the waitress retreats back to the kitchen, So Kyo rests her elbows on the table and folds her hands over lips, her eyes not leaving mine. I suddenly feel so intimidated at her gaze, which is a new thing for me. You definitely know how to overwhelm me, but So Kyo daunts me – and I can’t be certain that that’s a good thing.

 “How are you?” she asks me, and I’m not regarding her efforts to conduct decent conversation with small talk.

“I – I’m good,” I stammer, backing away from her. “And what about you?”

It’s a trainwreck. I know it, but it doesn’t seem to affect So Kyo. She looks persistent and I think that maybe her tenacity will be the only thing that’ll stick us together since I’m definitely losing that attraction between us. And it . It’s definitely not something I should be leaning towards – losing attraction, that is – because I need this. I lost you and now I need something to distract me. Tedious dance and singing practice for EXO’s upcoming debut is certainly not doing anything to help me.

So Kyo is about to reach into her purse for something, when I suddenly hear my name being called out behind me. I could recognize that voice from anywhere, and I stand up immediately.

“Eomma,” I say, bowing down to my petite mother that has just come up to my table.

“Jongin-ah,” she replies affectionately, placing her soft, cold hand on the side of my cheek. “I’ve been looking for you. They told me you were here.”

I flush slightly as I catch her gaze fly directly to So Kyo, who sat behind me. My mother has hardly met any of the girls I’ve been involved with – you are an exception, of course, and she absolutely adores you – so it was rather awkward to catch me here with some girl I had just begun to get to know.

I contemplate quickly whether to introduce So Kyo first, or directly ask my mother what she was doing in this part of Seoul. I decide to settle with the latter.

“It was your sister’s birthday yesterday,” she explains and I squirm uncomfortably in my seat. “But you didn’t call. I got worried because you haven’t called in a long time,” my mother pauses to flicker her eyes towards So Kyo’s direction and sends me a consoling smile, “but now I understand why.”

I look back at So Kyo, who is sitting there, smiling cordially at my mother. “Oh, eomma, this is So Kyo. My date.”

At her introduction, So Kyo immediately gets up and offers her hand to my mother for a shake. Cautiously, my mother takes her hand and shakes it. I’m searching her face for some sort of approving expression, but all I see is her wide-eyed amusement laced with confusion. 

She’s wondering why I’m with her and not with you.

Suddenly, So Kyo makes a move that I am completely appalled with. She pulls up a chair from another table and offers my mother to join us. She sits down anyway despite the fact that she hardly knows this girl, and as a mother, I know she can tell that I’m not devoted to her in that way. But my mom’s giving her chance, which means I have to, too.

This is awkward. My mother plasters on a smile and turns her attention to So Kyo.

“So, what were you kids up to before I dropped in?”

“I was just about to give your son something,” So Kyo replies pleasantly, reaching into her purse one more time. She slowly pulls out a small, porcelain doll figure attached to a cellphone clasp. The figurine has black hair and is wearing dark pants and a white top.

“Is that me?” I ask, pointing to the cellphone charm.

So Kyo nods her head almost immediately, handing it to me. My mother looks on from So Kyo to me with intensive attributions. I take the charm from her hands and examine it a little more closely.

“I made it in art class today,” she states proudly.  “Since it was small, it didn’t take long for the slip to dry up.”

I look up at her. “The clay I used,” So Kyo responds at my confusion. “They call it a slip.”

And then I turn to look back at the cellphone charm. It’s cute, I have to say. I wouldn’t mind buying it if I saw it in the store.

“Wow, you really are a master of this craft,” says my mother as she fingers the charm in my hands. “Do you have a collection?”

I roll my eyes at my mother’s question, wanting to remind her that So Kyo is not some jewelry designer but a student from one of Korea’s best high schools.

So Kyo chuckles and actually nods. “Yeah, I’m making a few more and planning to sell them in my older brothers’ department stores.”

My mother raises her eyebrows. “Department stores?”

This time, I in. “Uh, yeah. Mom, So Kyo’s family owns the GSK Group. You know, the company that owns the GSK department stores.”

“You mean, this is Gong Seong Ki’s granddaughter?” my mother asks with astonishment, eyeing So Kyo as if she were a precious gem.

I nod slowly, and a big smile creeps up on So Kyo’s face. She’s feeling accomplished because I think she’s convinced that she has won over my mother. I heave a sigh.

“Mother, I don’t know if you’re aware,” I made a weird hand gesture to implicate where I was going with this.

My mom got it immediately. “Oh. Oh!” she gasps, getting up hurriedly. From the corner of my eye, I see So Kyo give an embarrassed smile. “I’m sorry, I’ll be going now. Don’t mind me. But Jongin-ah, make sure you call home later. Your sister was worried sick.”

I nod in rapid succession as she left. So Kyo politely acknowledged my mother’s departure by tilting her torso slightly.

“Well, she was sweet,” So Kyo says once my mother is out of the café.

“She sure was,” I take a sip from my tea. Setting the cup back down on the table, I lean back on my seat and press my bottom lip against my teeth with my forefinger – a habit you and practically everyone I know will never seem to understand.

“I wish my mother was like that,” So Kyo sighs, her elbows resting on the table. She looks out the café windows and pouts almost dramatically. I am condoned to ask her about her mother, but the internal conflict in me is also saying to hell with it.

We continued our little date with conversations about her school and I am proud of myself. Not once did I ask about you, even though I so badly wanted to.

***

"What I don't understand, you see, is how someone like Taemin - he's your best friend right?"

"I don't know."

"Oh. Well, what I don't get is how he can have the knowledge of your liking Hye Rin, and then stab you in the back like that."

I stare up at Chanyeol who seems to be taking my situation very intensely, as if it were a walnut and his inner thoughts were a nutcracker that need a tweak in order for it to work. He rests his chin in his hand and stares out into nothing.

 Maybe it's a good time to return your calls, despite what everyone thinks. I've asked the other guys what they about you and Taemin and their responses were fairly male-equipped. In other words, they couldn't have cared any less about another guy's relationship. However Chanyeol here remains inadvertently intrigued. Chanyeol thinks it's not a good idea to call you back. Sehun and Krystal think so too. I have yet to ask what Luhan thinks, but he's too busy to come over.

I pick up my phone. After I had gotten back from my date with So Kyo, I looked through it to notice that you left a couple of missed calls.

I am about to press the call back option on my phone when Se Hun hurries into the living room where Chanyeol-hyung and I converse.

"Don't press another button on that phone," he instructs. I'm almost tempted to comically remind him that this is an Samsung touchscreen phone and that there are no "buttons" on it. But his expression seems slightly exasperated that I wait to hear what he says.

"Look what Krystal showed me," Se Hun says, handing me a copy of someone's passport. The name sounds familiar, but the girl on the photo doesn't seem to emerge in my memories.

"Why do you have that?" Chanyeol-hyung asks him. He sounds less confused as I would have been; as if he's more interested in knowing why Se Hun is in possession of a copy of someone's passport than who the owner is.

"Who's Kim Eun Kyo?" I add into the pool of questions. Chanyeol takes the copy of the passport.

"She used to be a trainee here. A really long time ago, actually," he explains, staring at the photo in the passport's carbon copy. "With Boa-noona and all. She was really talented, but so much older."

"Oh, right." I nod. I remember seeing her name in the list of trainees that used to be part of SM Entertainment. There were a ton of them, all names printed in a pink backdrop that hung on one of the walls of the main office. It's always hard to believe that out of hundreds of trainees, only a few of us actually make it to see the spotlight.

Both Chanyeol and I turn back to Se Hun, who is now sitting next to me in the couch. We ask him again why he had the copy of someone else's passport. Which was incredibly weird.

"Krystal picked it up when she was at the main building and forgot to give it back. But she showed it to me because she remembered something." He points at the picture. “She said that this lady is So Kyo’s mom.”

“What.”

“You heard what he said,” Chanyeol ticks me on the back of the ear. “That lady is So Kyo’s mom.”

I glower at him. “You don’t even know who So Kyo is,” then I turn back to Se Hun. “What? What are you talking about?”

The lady in the passport photo is pretty, and So Kyo is pretty, too, but because of the fact that this is only a passport photo copied on a piece of carbon white paper, it’s really hard to see spot on similarities that are obvious for every kin.

“Did So Kyo ever mention to you about her mom?” Se Hun asks me. I shake my head no, though I remember very vaguely that she mentioned her mom once today – but it was such a scintilla of a thought that I didn’t even regard it.

“How does Krystal know about So Kyo’s mom being a trainee?”

“So Kyo told her.”

“Oh, right.” I say again, handing back the copy of the passport photo to Se Hun. I still don’t understand why an old copy of her mother’s passport is left scattered in the SM Building.

Se Hun is staring at the piece of paper, and Chanyeol makes a comment about him burning a hole right through the center. Se Hun smiles tightly at his words, but I can tell he has something else to say.

“What?” I demand.

“Well,” he nips the tip of his fingernail cutting through the soft cells. “So Kyo’s been looking for her mom for about 4 years now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Her mom’s missing, and Krystal thinks that she’s somewhere here in the SM headquarters.”

I feel an uncomfortable tremor roll up my arm and Chanyeol chokes.

“You’re ing creeping me out, man,” Chanyeol says, curling up his legs against his chest and leaning back even more on the couch.

Se Hun rolls his eyes. “I mean, not like a ghost or that type of . Or, actually, I don’t even know. That’s all that Krystal told me.”

“, why’d you have to tell us something like that?” Chanyeol is clearly disturbed and both Se Hun and I smirk. “I’m not going to bed alone tonight.”

“Ok, whether or not she’s ‘here’, I don’t understand why she’s hiding from So Kyo and her family,” I tell Se Hun. “Besides, she’s too young to be So Kyo’s mother.  My mom’s nearly twice this lady’s age.”

“She probably had So Kyo young and then left her because she couldn’t take the pressures of being a mom anymore.”

“What a load of TV drama bull,” I spat. “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard today.”

“Me too, but Krystal doesn’t lie to me.”

Se Hun sighs, tossing the piece of paper on the coffee table across us. He retreats back to his room while Chanyeol and I begin watching the evening news on MBC. I never mention this to Chanyeol or Se Hun or any of my other group mates even until much later, but I had a very strange feeling that I might have personally known that woman before.

A/N: I was re-reading a few chapters of this story and I realized in chapter 4, I made Kai call Se Hun his “hyung”. Apparently as it seems, my math is horrible and I am corrected by the fact that Kai is actually older than Se Hun by about four months. What possessed me to think that January babies are younger than April babies, I don’t know. And holyshiiiit. It’s been for-ing-ever since I last updated this! Ah. Sorry!

Anyway, totally fell in love with EXO again today after listening to their EPs about a billion times. OMG. Finding out that Kai does the screamo part in MAMA totally caused my ovaries to go on overdrive. I know I'm late for these things. :| Life happened. But the fact that so many people commented and subscribed and urged me to continue was the push I needed! So thank you so much for being there for me!!